Chronic Carrier of Doom

Roy the Roommate said I'm a chronic carrier of something. I agree. This disease is called doom.

After a mishap yesterday, I whined that Allah wasn't helping me with my problem. That He kept pushing me into the pit despite me trying to climb free.

And today.. a whole day of bed-rest. Problem isn't exactly solved, but at least the heart would not wonder for this whole day. And probably the next two days of weekend. That should teach me for whining.

Lessons, you ask? Never lose faith in Allah or He'll really come down onto you, in ways unimaginable.

Hehe.

p/s: Pray for me! If being sick means I'm closer to Him, then let this be the reconciliation that will ignite the spark a lifetime ^^

Case 9631

Endemicity unfortunately may show epidemic wave at any time under predisposing adverse circumstances, in this case includes and not limited to prolonged exposure to the support and smooth talking. This current epidemic wave is characterized by increased number of inner foolish grinning resembling that of a retarded puppy that are significantly more than the common pattern of fling during the course of this disease.

Patient also reports occasions of unsuppressed grins and blatant remarks to her surrounding people; a symptom that has never before manifest during this entire two years of chronicity.

This new occurrence has raised the awareness of the society to the health status of the patient, thus the need for rigorous intervention to shorten the course of the disease and working towards elimination of the entire fling.

Treatment

Suggested treatments include cleansing of the soul by upping the level of mutabaah amal to eliminate foci thus preventing reactivation of the disease. Booster doses of tazkirah are recommended to be given as much as possible without inducing emesis at a daily interval to maintain a satisfactory protective level of immunity. The patient is also advised to immerse her timetable with activities unrelated to the agent, serving as a distraction.

If the chronicity persists in spite of the undertaken treatment plan through a recommended course of forty days, the consulting team has already permitted for a heart transplant and the patient will undergo the surgery immediately.

There is another option to facilitate the development of fling into a much serious stage that requires tertiary care from a middle party. However, observational study suggests that complications may arise particularly from the patient's conflict of interest (that is primarily her contacts' concern) and her refusal to make certain of the mutuality factor.

The Expensive One Mark

We had our Community Medicine intergroup quiz this evening. It was part of our round activity with participation from both Egyptian and Malaysian groups. Supposedly there were 10 groups in all represented by five members each, but group 8 and 10 couldn't make it and there were other groups with nearly 10 members participating.

I should have expected leniency with these guys, hehe.


The quiz consisted of one question per group with eight rounds of question covering five major topics in our curriculum. Our group (yours truly, Nisa, Piqoh, Is and Izany) finished 6/8 tying with Group 3, the other Malaysian group (Nasywa, Echamar, Haizura, Amir Syahid and Acap Kosnan) nailed 7/8 with another three Egyptian groups and three Egyptian groups helmed perfect score.

Is kept saying along the line of "Diorang ada Nasywa, mesti okay, nak kena bincang jugak ke." LOL

Round leader took our other two papers.

The quiz took nearly two and half hour. But the thing is, I think we took nearly an hour for the Egyptians student to argue with our doctor about the apparent vagueness of their question that costed them one mark.

One mark and the lecture hall turned into a wet market with chickens clucking and dogs barking!

Poor doctor and our round leader standing in front trying to maintain order. Us Malaysians shook our heads and said among us should one of us raised such disrespect in our class, the whole class would have thrown him out! If such thing were to occur in Malaysia, the lecturer would have kicked everyone out or banned the whole students for a week, at least.

Finally doctor really raised her voice and the class went silent. She spoke to us sadly that "You must have a nice vision on us now" and dejectedly gave the arguing group a new question.

They scored their one mark, but I think it was a lot to pay with the damage they had done.

Being Arabs, I supposed their competitive nature runs in the blood and it was excellent. They are and always will be more outspoken than us Malays; take me writing this post instead of saying this to their faces.

The doctor had said that the whole quiz was for educational purpose and mixing us nationalities; "because we are all friends," she said in Arabic. Raising such ruckus and wasting our time (quiz ended at 4.30pm and we all ran to pray Asar; Maghrib was before 5pm dammit!) for one mark made me think people can be insensitively stupid at times.

I am sorry, but I really couldn't fathom the idea of disrespecting the people in front of you. This may be the common thing to do in any particular sitting, but I don't see this as a rightful behaviour for a Muslim.

But! as always the Egyptians balanced their rudeness out by promptly and personally apologizing to the doctor. And everything went cool again after that.. except they kept making noises that Ahmed Salah had a hard time reading the next questions!

Speaking of the round leader, it was really an awakening to see him in his element; how he had to deal with his colleagues. And I thought I had it hard, haha.

It really does take a less fortunate to remind you of the blessings you have, doesn't it?

I am grateful for what I have, the opportunity I was given, the people around me. I admit I am a bit of a social retard at admitting this orally, am trying in baby steps; but let this post serves as a reminder that I am a human after all.

Suddenly I Miss My Kid Bro

Do you remember when you were four and I have just finished my SPM, I used to drive you to the local library and we would read half the day? Me with my Roald Dahl fictions and you with your dinosaur picture book.

We would walk hand in hand to the row of restaurants in front of the local mall for lunch. You asked for a lot of things but I was the one spoon-feeding you and finishing the leftovers anyway, so we ended up sharing a plate of fried rice instead. And a glass of water.

Remember the kind lady then treated you to a cup of warm milk with a smile? You were such a lovable young boy, all polite and charming to strangers. Still are.

It was me who gobbled the milk up though. I ended up fat that day.

We Met Mr. Sam #2

The last time I went to the bank, I took the wrong microbus which instead of going straight to the bank, took a left turn and later I was dropped off at an unfamiliar place. The only logical thing to do at that time was to trust my inner compass guided by Him and what logic He lent me and kept walking till I reach the bank. (Taxi wasn't an option because I didn't have enough change.)

That was how I knew where First Mall Giza was. And how we end up there a month later, visiting our friend from Luton who resided at the Four Seasons Hotel beside it during his stay in Egypt.


Since the next day was the day of presenting our health message to the nursing student, I was on and off the phone while catching up on each other and discussing Egypt as a whole, the spirit of revolution, politic and how it affects the thinking mechanism of budding adults.


Among the things stressed by Abang Sam (I relented ^^) was that love for Allah and Rasul should be the central pillar in whatever it is that we do. Tasawuf and tawasul, learning his seerah and the people around him. There was criticism at the vicious way some self-proclaimed scholars were spreading their views thus the burden for us to learn from the purest source we can.

"Kebanyakan ustaz-ustaz yang betul ni diorang tak terkehadapan, so pandai-pandai la cari," he said. Nisa sighed and I asked, "So macam mana nak jumpa diorang ni?"

He smirked.

"Buka hati, insya-Allah jumpa."

I think that could helm the Best Quote of The Year.


He urged us to look for the truth and never to take things as it is, repeatedly finishing off his sentences with a joking "Hah tapi jangan percaya bulat-bulat apa aku kata!" and this is a guy you'll suffer around should you be naive ;D

Note the difference between naive and inexperienced.

So learn from the experience of others and judge with your fine mind. Allah gave us this difference in having hati and akal from other being is not to be wasted on using it to achieve worldly values only.

His thought was parallel to that of Bai, except Abang Sam is more fun to be around, haha ;)


I also learned that you have to be efficient and utilize what little you have for the sake of achieving your goal. When Ara and Nisa told him that they paid good money for Arabic language classes, he snorted. "Kenapa tak ambil je sorang kawan Arab, belanja dia makan hari-hari sampai 40 hari ke, suruh dia ajar (bahasa) Arab sambil tu."

Which sounded like a fine idea..

221211- I was at my seat playing Sudoku and The Script playing For The First Time in my left ear while waiting for Dr. Ola to resume class. Then suddenly..

...

It was too much. I had to hyperventilate on Umair's lap.

"Q kau amik kelas Arab jugak ke?"

Nisa answered for me. "Atiqah tak amik kelas Arab, dia [insert flame here]."


The place was smaller than Maadi Grand Mall yet more exclusive than City Stars. Trust me, we're talking about sanitized toilet seats and sensorized soap dispenser here. The shops were foreign to me and the only thing I can relate to was Shorouk Bookstore in one corner because books are universally enjoyed regardless of strata.

Whitney Lehman of Naperville, IL, was impressed when her now-husband suggested they hit the books. “In order to get to know each other better, he took me to a bookstore one afternoon,” she explains. “In each section, we both chose a book of interest and shared why we picked it, what was fascinating about that topic, etc. It was a great way to get to know each other’s tastes.”

Margot Carmichael Lester
5 Fun and Affordable Dates

I had Jamaican coffee and it tasted like a mix of Turkish coffee and hot chocolate, which in the nutshell screams awesome! The accompanying biscotto was equally delicious, neither too crispy nor soggy with a hint of jam in it. LE25 a cup, tax excluded.


I don't know what they put in the coffee, but drinking it at 9pm knocked me out after 1am that night and I was already wide awake at 4.15am later.

Conclusion:

You can go wherever you want, but the places are only as good as the people you know.

John Smith / Daniel / Number 4

p/s: I am noticing a worrying trend of recklessness. First the thrill at going 110km/h, next the abusive amount of hot chili that left me malabsorbing until now and then we have the re-emerging sleep issue. Now we can add blatantly naming people on the blog into the list.

Disrespect

"If I hear any more profanity out of you in this chambers, or out of your witness or defendants in the courtroom, I'm going to hold you in contempt. We're not street-fighting here, and we're not gangsta rappers, and if you so much as "darn" in my presence, you'd better have an unassailable reason for doing so."

Farrell sat back in his chair. "Sorry, your honor. I mean no disrespect."

"Well, intention or no, it is disrespectful and I'm not going to have it."

John Lescroart
Guilt, page 400

Each time I prayed for Him to bless me with more patience, that means I'm indeliberately asking for more patience-challenging situations.

This past week I think my humane tolerance had been low and I'm afraid a few people had been the unfortunate victim of outbursts. Which is very bad. The image I painted.. that's not something easily rectified. And whatever my reason was, it wasn't okay to jump on people's throat and no one should let me get off the hook just like that.

This time the effect will last longer than I hope, and it will be nasty.

Checking myself into more self-reflecting with Al-Quran as guidance, therapist to go through with me some of my bad tidings, and perhaps we'll become sober enough by morning.

For what it is worth, I am so sorry.

Accepting Apology

"I'm a jerk as a person and a lousy boss, aren't I?"

"Which one?"

A nod. "I deserve that."

But Sam was trying to apologize and Christina didn't think it was a moment for sarcasm. "Neither, really," she said. "Neither a jerk nor a lousy boss. You are a lot, Sam, that's all. That's a positive thing."

"Too much."

Christina shrugged. "Beats the opposite, doesn't it?"

John Lescroart
Guilt, page 92

It takes wit to know when to be sarcastic and when to take the other's honesty as it is. Generalized sarcasm is not something that will allow a positive environment to prevail.

Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalization than in their particular observations.

Niccolò Machiavelli

So let's be observant and take that extra effort to think of how everything is connecting in an endless chain of reaction.

I'm not a big fan of offline fiction, but a few page and this book had me hooked.

Finding Halila

Yesterday

Before Dr. Ghada Wahby started her lecture, she told us about her "most intimate Malaysian friend" who graduated with her. She told us that they have lost contact after her friend "Khalila" went back to Malaysia and there wasn't Facebook during their time so intercontinental communication was hard.

"I told every Malaysian students that I taught but there wasn't really anything they could do."

And so lecture started and this natural stalker was fired up to help her.

---

I was the last one to leave class and so approached her to ask more about her friend. Dr. Ghada immediately lit up at my question.

I told her it was possible to track her friend because "the Malaysian students in Egypt has strong connection with each other" confidently assuming she graduated along the infamous Kak Jat's batch.

She told me they graduated in October 1999 and I was aghast. First, Dr. Ghada looked younger than 35-ish and second, how am I going to track the batch before the 10-year gap of JPA sending students to Egypt?

But then I remembered dad showed me something on the MMC website thus I smiled confidently at her. We exchanged phone numbers and emails and she thanked me profusely.

Now to get started.

Today

My internet was as siput as possible so I borrowed Syaimaa's laptop prior to our lecture today. I told her what I was doing and we opened the MMC Registrar that kept all data on every single doctor licensed to work in Malaysia. Dad showed me this trick years ago for the public to check whether their doctor was a licensed practitioner or a fraud endangering their safety.

I searched for graduates from Cairo University and out popped 147 results.

Used the Ctrl+F function and typed in "Khalila" but none was found. Maybe I heard wrong so I varied to "Halila" and you know what, there was a single match! Alhamdulillah~

Third thing to cross-check was her date of registration for her first posting and the Halila we found registered with MMC on February 2000.

We hit the perfect match.

Just to be safe, we varied the spelling of her name to be sure that there wasn't a mistake done, haha.

I wrote down my confirmatory data and the address of Anaesthetic Department of HKL where she is currently based. Syaimaa' helped me search for the email and telephone number of the department so Dr. Ghada can contact her directly through the Head Department if needed.

We were giddy, it was a good work done. "This was too easy. How come the students before us didn't find this?" I grinned victoriously.

Syaimaa' replied that maybe they didn't think of doing what I did; checking directly with the MMC Registrar.

My innards swelled with pride. I thanked God for my dad and prayed He keeps him safe.

---

After lecture, I told Dr. Ghada what I did and what we found. Earlier she was skeptical but I assured her that the Dr. Halila we found "is the only licensed doctor named as such in all Malaysia graduating from Cairo University." Despite the lack of graduation year in the record, her registration date matched of the gap usual for overseas graduates.

She hugged me.

We promised to keep in touch and in spite of my throaty voice, I prayed Allah ease her in succeeding to find her long-lost "intimate friend".

#StalkerBerjaya

"Your name is Haruhi but I ran out of ink."

Fadzlin was being marvelous so Dr. Madiha asked for her name.

"Liiiiin," the class chanted. I don't know why Malaysians like to drawl but that is Malaysians.

"What? Lin? Lini?"

The few boys at the front offered their help. One said Lin Dan and the class laughed so hard despite Fadzlin's pitiful whimpering, until Hafizi spelled Fadzlin's name out for the doctor.

"L-I-N? LINE without E? Why didn't you say so? They were writing the name and ran out of ink!"

I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

Dr. Madiha ended up calling Fadzlin Line for the rest of the class, haha.

Gotta Love A Guy Who Reads Carnegie

Dr. Maha asked us whether we attended and understood the Professional Lecture yesterday which gathered all students from Group 1 till Group 10. Class chanted in unison yes but we didn't understand the lecture.

Dr. Maha naturally asked why.

We told her because the lecture was in Arabic.

She asked why haven't we asked for Dr. Madiha to speak in English.

We told her because we sat too far from the stage to tell the doctor ourselves. (The answer made me think she would think us Malaysians as too obese to walk over a few meters because our feeble joints couldn't bare the weight.)

She asked why didn't one of us walk down to the front and ask the doctor.

We rationalized that we do understand a little Arabic and we were trying to understand the lecture. Dr. Maha asked whether we stayed through the two hours and proudly we replied yes.

"You just missed an opportunity. If I were to spend two hours and understand very little, it would have costed me a lot."

Demands and Needs

We all have needs and it truly is our choice whether to express it as our demands or not. Doing so will turn the need into an efficient need, something we might get because we asked for it.

But not all what we demanded is really what you need; I daresay it is just a superficial part of something deep. Like people demanding a tertiary care center which caters for their dysfunctional liver from Hepatitis B virus infection when really what they need is a primary health center to provide vaccination against the virus in the first place.

Sometimes you don't get what you asked for, but have faith that Allah will always give you the best. He had created us and written down our journey back to Him, so who would know better about what we really need other than the Creator Himself?

The Lost Opportunity

I don't know whether speaking up will ever be what Malays are known for. Arabs are always brave and straight-forward, like one of the group leaders popping in the middle of our lecture asking about his forgotten practical book. Had it been a Malay I bet he would wait outside till lecture is over, then discreetly sneak in (and turn the place upside down looking for his book when really, someone had passed it to the janitor for safekeeping.)

Notice how we barked most online but offline we tended to be meek and sheepish? How it's so easy to discredit a person on your Facebook wall than say it to his face? We've become a passive-aggrasive society and I can't see a good end to where this leads us.

Changes begin with ourselves, that means no longer using lazy nor sore throat as an excuse to not speak up, Atiqah. May there be no lost opportunities after this and no regrets for the advantages we took for granted.

So what is it that I need? I need a husband as stated in a couple past post haha cough syrup and maybe get down with a comprehensive Life Timetable as well as getting back serious on track. Studying the bulk of Community Medicine while not forgetting Forensics.. anyone realizing we're four weeks away from End Round Exam?

And obviously to stop stalking on a certain Danny at our school..It's my pastime nowadays but can you really blame the Script-ed girl? Haha.

P/s: How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

Only A Girl Would Realign A Bicycle Chain With A Tissue

I was cycling at full speed, standing to overtake someone on my right when I felt my chain gave away. So much for going fast. I pulled over by the road and pulled out a piece of tissue to realign the chain. You would to, had you seen the amount of grease on it.

An Egyptian guy stopped his bike behind me and offered his help. He realigned the chain with his bare hands and quickly it was done. I offered him my tissue and he cleaned himself up with some water his friend offered. I smiled, thanked him gratefully and sped off.

A few minutes later, my chain gave away again. I pulled over and simply realigned the chain myself, not using any tissue this time. Wani and one of our guys passed by asking if everything is alright, and I gave them a thumbs-up.

Now that is how you do it.

---

We cycled with the Egyptian students to Maadi today, organized by the Kasr El-Ainy Youth Build Egypt (KAYBE). We departed from the main entrance of Kasr El-Ainy Medical Faculty, went along Al-Manial Street towards one end of the Abbas Bridge and cycled down along Kurnish El-Nil towards Alfa Market in Maadi. Around 20km, I think?

Cycling at medium to full speed by the busy roadside of Kurnish El-Nil, what more fun do you want? The wind blew straight to your chest, sunshine hidden behind the lush trees (at some part of the journey) and a peek at the Nile passing by your right.

It tests your movement coordination and your survival skills on the notorious road of Egypt.

Plus when your fever just barely receded, this is a test of sheer will. I think I exerted myself too much today. Give me the road and I will become insane.

Looking at this picture, I realize I haven't scrubbed my shoes yet.

Your Plate Overflown

"I try to take regular little breaks," says Nolen-Hoeksema. "I'll program my Blackberry to buzz me to stop for five minutes and breathe and regroup. It really helps me take a step back, which can be hard to do, and often I'll realize, 'I could delegate that,' or 'This isn't that important' or 'I can put this off.'"

Carrying a written reminder to "Stay focused" or "Get back to Number 1," whatever that means to you, can help, too.

Saying "no" may not come naturally but you can build your skills. "It takes practice and realizing that the world doesn't cave in," says Nolen-Hoeksema.

Working with a buddy helps. Hers is her husband. "We have a deal that when I say 'no,' he gives me a treat. If it's a small thing, it might be a candy bar. If it's a big thing, he takes me to dinner. Or I just email him and say, 'I said "No,"' and he emails back, 'Congratulations!'"

Gini Kopecky Wallace, 9 Reasons Why You Can't Concentrate

So now all we need is a husband, lol.

The Heavy White Coat

"Everyone of us has a cemetery in his name. Where he buries the patient he has killed either by ignorance or negligence. So if you don't know, say "I don't know" and don't kill patients. Because you are going to be asked one day about each patient we lay our hands on. This is the first thing we'll be asked about. Because we are responsible for them. So please, I hope everyone of us will have a very few number, or not at all, in his cemetery.


The other thing, always remember that this white coat is a very heavy coat. Full of responsibilities, full of duties. So I hope that everyone of us who has this white coat will deserve to have it. Thank you."

Dr. Sherif Soubhy Fam
Consultant paediatrician
Vice director of Imbaba Fever Hospital, Cairo

Sharp points for a reality-infused day at the Fever Hospital. We went there for our fourth visit in Community Medicine round and I suppose it was the best visit so far, the most informative with Dr. Sherif showing us the ropes around the uniquely designed hospital.

I can vouch that paediatricians are gentle people with soft-spoken words with students, patients and staffs alike. One of my favourite traits about him is that he walks long paced and real fast, unlike the lagging Malaysians behind him. I hope that taught us a lesson to value time more and stop wasting time drawling on the road, duh.

Oh oh, spot Roy!

The Fever Hospital is actually a compound of houses horizontally spread out to minimize cross-infection. The departments are allocated by diseases and not by surgical or medical means.

"Our average number of outpatients is 1500 patients per day. But it depends on the season. On 2nd October 1982, we had 5000 patients. It was hectic and terrible, I can't forget."

Respect and Insubordination

Earlier on, Dr. Sherif told us about the problem with implementing some of the crucial policies for infection control is because of insubordination.

"Yet doctors are the worst people to obey rules. They think they are superbionic. They think they know everything. They are fighters, opposers of everything. And by knowledge, they can fight everything."

Which I believe applies to every rule-breaking occasions in this world. When you think you're on top of the world, you'll disregard whatever God is saying. When you think you know everything, you'll look down on everyone else hence the lack of respect in this world and what more tolerance to other people.

There were times when we respectfully disagree with a senior or an elder (what more among us peers?), where no childish name-callings involved. Times when we agree to disagree. I have always been the person to defy people older than me, but we still live happily because we value the relationship and respect we have for each other. I'm seeing less of that nowadays and daily prayed I'm not one of the contributors for the flaws I see.

I am not against ego, but I believe we should all have an accurately sized one.

Vertically Challenged

We were studying Medical Statistics and Dr. Hoda was giving examples of continuous variables.

"Can I say that my height is 1.62 meters?"

"Yes." Class replied.

But a tiny discreet voice can be heard depressively whispering a deflated "No."

70 is Young

"I am more than 70 years old. When you study geriatric later on, you will find that 70-75 years is considered young elderly. So I am young, and let's forget the next word."

Prof. Emeritus Dr. Leila Kamel
Introduction to Public Health

She really looked younger than 70; her face wasn't shagging and her voice was clear with fluent English. The fact that she's also computer-literate boosted my spirit of learning.

Education is the number one socioeconomic determinants of health. It keeps you in high spirit and in order and despite growing older, inside you can be as young as you feel. It gives you a sense of control over life circumstances.

At 70, how do I envision myself to be?

Managing a Bad Case of Arse

We are both hot-headed people. The difference between us is that when I explode, I conquer everything and rule it my way whether you like it or not. But when she explodes, she'll drop everything and manage her own self.

Guess who's doing the cleaning up this time?

Today I got punched because I addressed her management issue. And because I had my back turned.

Ideal-ity

1- Know your position and function in this world. Act on it.

2- Be clear with the basis of whatever it is that you are, do, say, deal or stay firm with.

3- Identify the problem and the solution.

4- Why are you where you are?

5- The reason for outlining the ideality is to inspire and guide you as you go. But in every step you take, be sure to differentiate it from reality.

There are more, but my mind is still so and so jarred. It can't be described as an "intellectual orgasm" if the need arise for a painkiller and continuously have to discuss it in order to reorder the abused brain. That moment when you either work your neurons off or you let the idea die and risk damaging an already scratched image, it should have been aptly named a "brutal mind*uck".

An afternoon I will never forget. (the resolutions, I mean.)

Pyromaniac is Back

Because for the obvious reason that winter is here. We're playing primitive nowadays, heating up with the help of food and fire.

*cackles*

For the record, it helps to study Thermal Injury while singing hairs (clubbed coma-shaped, anyone?). The room is filled with charring smell.

It Takes One To Know One

Our doctor was revising Cocaine and she mispronounced "coke burn" throughout the lecture. I smirked and turned to my bench-mate. She called me a pervert and scooted away.

Well for one, it takes one to know one. And my proficiency in English is below average, but I still curse it nevertheless.

Coke burn is a manifestation of chronic cocaine usage in the form of localized necrotic ulcer at subcutaneous injection site.

But this is also a "coke", haha ;D

Three Days Before Forensic End Round Exam

Our friends in Abou Rish were having problems with their water supply, so when I went over there this evening, they dragged me for dinner at Kiwi, Maadi.

I had Pollo & Broccoli (rigatoni, they ran out of tagliatelle) and I must say, the portion they served me can feed three hungry Atiqahs. We finally left the premise after my friend helped finish off my rigatoni and I had the waiter to wrap up my delicious cheese sauce, broccoli and chicken pieces left.


They said I don't eat much and I eat slow, as opposed to a friend who ate as little but with gusto.

The price was reasonable considering the taste, serving size, varieties, service (12% tax and eye-candy, if you know what I mean) and ambience. Average pasta was LE40.

---

6.30pm at Metro Station of Sayyeda Zeinab. We were walking with our throat clenching at the familiar irritating sensation of tear gas. Ops Piramid was not a memorable event to be relived, but I don't want to be selfish when Egypt has been kind to me.

I hope all will end well for the people in Tahrir.

The Weekend That Wasn't

It could have been the perfect plan. Drop everything and just go. Perhaps as a courtesy to others, I would have called and rescheduled but I would still be gone.

And there, just me. And a new city to explore. A night to live and appreciate the view from this perspective before a small room to crash in. Morning comes and what little exploring I could before the score to settle with you and a group of people they would never approve of. We would have breathed with the same rhytm and pulsed with the same beat, and later I alone would have staggered back to my room to pocket what few hours I could.


Another morning of exploration and maybe a quick slide down the desert. I could kick sand on beaches and rest back to enjoy the blue sky shimmering down the blue waves. And pick up that purchase as a favour I should see to. Perhaps we'll meet again before I start back the reality I have paused on.

I would have flown 1500 miles for all this and spend two months' worth of allowance for a two-nights of ignorance. But above all, I would have dropped everything I cared for for this last opportunity for 2011 to meet up with you in full action.

But I didn't.. and I blame the exam for that. Although the real fault here could have been my overthinking capacity that ruined my chances.

Or it could have been divine intervention to stop me before I plunge way deeper into abyss and go beyond recognizable. A chance to help myself, to clear my mind as to what I want to achieve in this short three more years of my study. I am not saying I am glad I didn't go there nor am I lamenting the opportunity I gave up (deep down, I know a part of me does). There would be another this in the future and the same consideration to be made.

My life is scripted. I regret nothing.

I Understand Why House is Grumpy

Because she was in pain at class with no drugs to pop. Can't focus when focusing in class was her number one rule in studying.

Had taken her meds religiously that morning, had a good early start so she could be at ease walking at a snail's speed. Yet somehow the ankle is protesting, feeling exerted when really, what did she do wrong? It was not like it happened yesterday. And you can't tell her to stay put at home, she'd rather saw off her leg.

Had to hurry home for her meds and to get away from the Egypt Is Raining Moment aka Sky Cleansing From Eternal Dust which added to the exertion. Stupid ankle.

More like, stupid her for not being patient and for not sucking it up. People are in pain all the time but you don't see them posting aggression online.

>~< Let's take a time out and be with Allah and Allah alone.

Breakfast of A Champion

Tahrir
13th November 2011
9.00 am

Stray Cats of Alexandria

We went to the Citadel by the Mediterannean Sea and I approached a group of locals fishing by the waves. One of the man had a group of stray cats loitering by his feet and I wondered why, were they waiting to snatch his catch?


The man reeled in and at the end of the hook was a tiny fish the size of my thumb. The man unhooked the poor fish and to my surprise, handed the struggling fish to one of the cats near him. The tabby restrained the fish with his paws and gobbled it up.

I learned from reading Conan that it is a courtesy to the sea to release the fish back if you caught a small one, so that the small fish can grow up big and give new generations before it is caught again. But for the man to feed his catch to the cats instead is indeed the cat's sustenance for the day.

..for Allah provides sustenance to whom He pleases, without measure.
Surah Al-Imran, verse 37

I looked to my right and saw a tourist couple, the lady mesmerized by the amiability of the cats. I greeted them and she asked me has the man been feeding the cats? I told her yes, and shared her my thoughts.

"Our cats in England eat mice and Friskies."

"And the strays in Alex eat fresh living fishes from the sea," I nodded. Her husband laughed. We agreed that they have got to be the luckiest cats of all places.

That it is He Who give wealth and satisfaction.
Surah An-Najm, verse 48

And with His sustenance, we are steps closer to Him.

"Who needs a life anyway?"

I was reading my in-lecture notes when I came across this scribbles. Also I'm trying out the Blogger apps on iPod.

Our lecturer is a nice man well-equipped with vast knowledge on Toxicology. I feel like being dumped with a bucket of sorrow.

The lecture is on General Toxicology, but at this rate, I shudder at the amount of Toxicology we're to study in this barely two months.

Of course, no one cares how I feel, not even myself. This post is to cement the fact that if you don't study, you're not a student. Who needs a life anyway?

1435, 121011

Obviously someone was preventing herself from bolting out of the lecture for a much needed cuppa.

Let's see if we can manually use HTML here..

Edited 19 November:
I figured out what is the catch with the brilliant Blogger apps. It doesn't resize the pictures to the nicely-fit 400px.

Reformasi Telus: Dilema Rakyat Mesir

Giza, 26 Oktober - Satu debat terbuka anjuran The Doha Debates telah berlangsung di Giza membawakan usul sensitif dalam kehangatan sebulan sebelum pilihan raya parlimen Mesir; "Pemerintahan tentera Mesir tidak berminat dengan reformasi yang telus".

Debat kali ini dibarisi panel-panel yang hebat iaitu Dr. Mohamed Fahmy Menza dari parti politik Misr Al Horreyaa dan Heba Mourayef, penyelidik di Pemerhati Hak Asasi Manusia bagi pihak pencadang dan Jeneral (Bersara) Sameh Seif-Elyazal, bekas diplomat dan Dr. Gamal Abdel Gawad Sultan, pengarah Pusat Penyelidikan Politik dan Strategi Al-Ahram (ACPSS) Kaherah di pihak pembangkang.

Kira-kira 170 orang hadirin, rata-ratanya terdiri daripada golongan elit Mesir, ekspatriat dan mahasiswa dari jurusan masing-masing datang bagi memerhati isu yang sensitif ini termasuklah lima orang mahasiswa perubatan Malaysia. Debat telah bermula pada jam 8.00 malam dan tamat kira-kira 9.30 malam.

Debat yang dilihat hangat dan berinformasi namun kekurangan profesionalisme berbanding yang diperhatikan dalam debat terbuka di Malaysia dek ahli panel yang dilihat menyampuk satu sama lain serta kurang menghormati tuan moderator debat. "Perangai tipikal orang Mesir," komen salah seorang hadirin yang memuji keberanian mereka mendebatkan perkara sesensitif peralihan kuasa oleh Majlis Tertinggi Angkatan Tentera (SCAF) ini.

Hadirin dimaklumkan oleh tuan moderator sidang, Tim Sebastian yang juga merupakan Pengerusi The Doha Debates akan kesukaran yang dihadapi dalam penganjuran debat pada kali ini berikutan permit mereka ditolak pihak berkuasa Mesir. Debat kali ini yang sepatutnya berlangsung di Wekalat Bazaraa di El Gamalia terpaksa ditukarkan tempatnya ke Fine Arts Studio, sebuah studio peribadi yang lebih kecil di sudut Giza dengan keseluruhan hadirin separuh daripada kebiasaannya.

Implikasi kepada debat ini menampakkan jurang pemisah pemikiran dalam kalangan rakyat Mesir sendiri, dengan golongan atasan dan elit kelihatan lebih mengetahui kehendak mereka terutamanya dalam aspek pembangunan negara serta halatuju revolusi Mesir berbanding rakyat kelas bawahan yang sekadar mahukan makanan dan pakaian yang mencukupi, kerja yang tetap serta kestabilan yang disediakan pihak tentera Mesir.

Meskipun laporan media mengatakan SCAF mendapat sokongan padu 70% rakyat Mesir, perkara ini dibantah salah seorang hadirin dalam sesi soal jawab kerana "menghormati pihak tentera merupakan semulajadi bagi rakyat (Mesir) sejak mereka mengalahkan Israel pada 1960-an dahulu, tidak bermaksud mereka layak menguruskan negara ini." dan hal ini disokong hadirin yang lain apabila usul ini diterima dengan majoriti 84.7%.

Seorang pelajar Malaysia yang menolak usul ini mengatakan kes yang dibawakan pihak pencadang adalah lemah dan mereka sekadar membawakan poin-poin kecil dalam perdebatan kali ini. "Usul ini diterima kemungkinan besar bukan kerana kualiti perdebatan, sebaliknya kerana hadirin sudahpun mempunyai mindset masing-masing sebelum memenuhi studio ini."

The Doha Debates dibiayai Yayasan Pembangunan Pendidikan, Sains dan Masyarakat Qatar dan menggunapakai format debat yang diperhalusi Kesatuan Oxford yang terkenal. Debat mereka ditayangkan di BBC World News dan boleh diikuti menerusi laman rasmi mereka.

Mahasiswa Malaysia yang mengikuti debat kali ini,
dari kanan: Safwan Roslan, Hazrie Hayat, Adzim Yusoff.
Tiada dalam gambar: Radin Rahmah, Atiqah Hanifah.

Sesudah tamatnya debat, kumpulan mahasiswa Malaysia ini didekati seorang mahasiswa kejuruteraan Universiti Kaherah yang memaklumkan mengenai cadangan penubuhan Kelab Debat di Mesir dan beliau berhajat kepada penglibatan mahasiswa-mahasiswa Malaysia terutamanya bagi perkongsian kemahiran berdebat.

"Saya telah memerhatikan debat di Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Malaysia dan sangat kagum dengan kemahiran kalian. Seperti yang anda lihat (dalam debat tadi), kami mempunyai maklumat tetapi kurang kemahiran kerana tiada pendedahan kepada debat di sekolah-sekolah kami."

Penglibatan mahasiswa Malaysia dalam Kelab Debat ini dilihat dapat merancakkan lagi perkongsian dan merapatkan lagi hubungan dan jaringan antarabangsa antara mahasiswa Mesir dan Malaysia.


p/s: Reunion BPP in style! ;D

"Focus on the wrong thing, you get killed."

It has to be Forensic is inducing such death-remembering moments for me nowadays. Sharing this from Clearheart's latest :)

"I could have killed you!" Naruto repeated.

"Yes, you could have," Sakura grunted in response.

"The village would have been down a medic!"

"Seriously," she agreed.

"Tsunade would have killed me!"

"You bet she would."

"Kakashi would have killed me!"

"He can be like that sometimes."

"And your parents! What would I have said to them?"

Streaming Sorrow

Last night I dreamt of my death. I was given time to say goodbye before I go but I didn't use the time well enough. There was never enough time to say goodbye..

I remember putting on a happy face to see Mama and Papa and not telling them anything was wrong. And Fatimah. Farahain I hugged her my last and I was already breaking down by that time.

Woke up with tears streaming down fast, the pillow drenched with sorrow.

And suddenly, this happened.

And you had certainly wished for martyrdom before you encountered it, and you have [now] seen it [before you] while you were looking on.
Chapter Al-'Imran: Verse 143

Boycotted Dora

Yesterday at class, a classmate refused me something and I poorly took it as nagging (I am bad, I know) so I marched back to my place and promptly started a conversation with my benchmate. Said classmate called me from her place at the front but I dutifully ignored her.

She tried a peacemaker, the poor Nash in front of me.

"Ask Haru if she hates me or not?" D:

"Haru, Dora asks if you hate her."

"Tell Dora no but I am boycotting her."

"Dora, Haru is boycotting you."

"Whyyy??"

And so on but I happily continue talking with my benchmate as if nothing was on.

We had a break in between classes and during then, Dora jumped out of her seat and raced to where my bench was.

"Haru are you still boycotting meee?"

In true nature of ignorance, I ate my Nasi Lemak Ayam bought from Al-Abrar Katering in full content.

"How about I treat you to coffee?"

"Okay!!" I dropped my nasi lemak and smiled at her. I thought I saw her grimacing at how fast my nature flipped. What can I do, I'm a sucker for coffee, especially free ones.


As we both raced towards the row of kiosks in front of the morgue, she told me she couldn't study because I was ignoring her. I told her that I was only joking and the girls should never take me seriously.

But what I didn't tell her was that her guilt did got me feeling more that just a little guilty.

---

You won't know just how much you affect another person. Let's practice good behaviour with everyone, be the best example anytime and may Allah open whoever's heart He wanted.

don't ignore a mistake

because it'll only get worse next time around, seterusnya tertekan dengan sebesar-besar tekanan.

CADANGAN PENYELESAIAN:

a)
berlari sekarang
menuju satu pejabat di Awwal Manyal
bermukim di sana sehingga ia buka pagi esok

jadi orang pertama.


b)
jom n****s.


c)
main futsal
dalam rumah
bagi kurang sikit perasaan itu.

Before the Worst

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah talking 'til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

It began when dad decided to put us at that school to provide us with as much knowledge on Islam as possible. Counting the years till now, I'd say I have 11 years pocketed on this path.

Are you hearing me? 'Cause I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

Perhaps it's a syndrome for everyone not starting on his own will. After so long, it was probably out of habit that I seek it out on my own. There was an empty space so hollow in my heart. Only relieved, filled to the brim my happiness was palpable a mile away once I'm back with you guys.

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

It is selfish on my part that I was just happy to be a part of it, not very much contributing nor working hard for it. Read: I wasn't working hard for this relationship.

"Maybe I've been selfish," he muttered after a while. "I feed on your presence. Just watching you is enough for me, it sustains me. I give you nothing in return."

-Bullwinkle's Lady, Ultimatum

Relive the spark that was once there. It is still there, I know it! This relationship is too much valuable, it was once my lifeline and it sure is now. So don't give up on it. Not ever.

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

I want in..

Mak Lang #2

I just reached Jeddah and it was around 12am Malaysia that I received dad's text. Mak Lang passed away on 11.40pm (GMT+8).

I said my goodbye that morning but she was asleep then.

Mom said it was so sudden, could have been a heart attack. She had been recuperating after her stroke and it never occurred to me..

I am so sorry :'(


Written on 16th October.

Last (Fri)Day

Friday started with sending the kids for taekwando at SRI. Mom and I swept the open hall floor with two other kids so that the boisterous of them wouldn't hurt their teeny tiny feet when they run around or practice their kicks.

I think Madam Salwani was also my taekwando instructor when I started in 2001, but I didn't have the chance to ask her personally. We were diligent sweeper, working in silence.

After that, I walked around the school compound to take a final look of my primary school. The buildings are the same, prettier with the new purple coat but pretty much the same. They put a board at the place we used to play berambak tiye so I guess the nowadays kids have to fun their amusement somewhere else (here's a friendly tips).

I saw Pak Cik Ahmad F*ris, he has a son from my UPSR batch (Am*r Najm*) but I didn't really keep in touch with the lot so I wouldn't know where he is now. I remember his full name (I am so skema) because the guy has two other brothers who practiced taekwando along when I started and all of them bear the initial A.N.A.F. Am*r Najm*, An*s Nasr* was two years younger I guess and Af*q N*zmi would have been two years younger than him.

Exiting Pak Cik's same old black Unser were two tiny girls and one lanky boy all in their taekwando gears. The boy had a black belt with yellow embroidery on it and he looked just as clueless as I remembered the then tiny fun-to-be-bullied Af*q.

I hope none of them were famous enough to be Googled nor obnoxious enough to Google themselves and end up coming across this post... haha.

Six Apples A Day

Pak Cik Hafiz came by just now. He is a family friend from our time in Australia. 15 years really does change people physically. They've a son of my age and that Hamizan kid didn't speak Malay one bit when I last saw him in Johor, probably around five years ago I'm not sure. But he eats like a Malay I'm sure, he was then teaching one kid how to suck the fat off a cow's bone using a straw.


His visit triggered back the fondness of Brisbane :)


Earlier that day, I baked an apple pie. Now I was never the fancy domestic person, plus I barely eat whatever I cook myself but the pie was an exception. Perhaps it was a mistake, because I end up going on hyper-drive all day and plopped down dead suddenly later at night.

Afternoon I had to rush across the city so you bet I wouldn't have time to hang around. Then took the kids to mom's workplace for the Aidilfitri celebration. This time around, I didn't need to buy some of food I wanted to eat. Laksam, soto, tapai.. all that came from open houses ;)

Mom told us that Daud Su and Piya came before us and Maru was uber excited; asking what clothes they were wearing ("Baju belang hitam kelabu, jeans"), did she get a picture with them ("Mama amik, tapi ada dalam kamera kawan mama"), can he see the picture ("Ada dalam kamera kawan mama la"), when can the picture be developed ("Kamera kawan mama la Maru!"), can he take a picture with them ("Diorang dah balik la Maru ni, makan habis dulu")

I was merely observing while slurping my soto. I don't get the kid's excitement over "Daun sup" and "Piyah" until mom and dad later told the perplexed me that those two were Kelantan footballers.

Now how would I know that?

Confession of a Vandal

Dearest FCR,

Do you remember the tree behind the school that we (or was it just me?) vandalized during our last week in primary school? We (I think it was just me) carved

N
S
Y
N
C

along the trunk of the poor tree, and I'm quite proud at our attempt of marking our mischievousness without really exposing who we were. Back then, the whole class were crazy over Hijjaz, Nowseeheart, Westlife and of course Backstreet Boys but only two (or was it three?) were standing firmly by Nsync.

That was 2002.

We came back to visit our primary school and teachers after SPM. Remember that we finished off with scurrying to the back of the school and revisit the vandal site?

Baik sangat la korang.. layan je saya ajak masuk semak.
Dari kiri: Laila, Ayuni, Timah, Raja, Dahiyah.

The tree was still there, but the markings were too faded.


That was 2008.

Just now I had Hakim to wait for me at the wakaf because I wouldn't want to risk any snakes or centipedes jumping on him. I then went to the back of the school with Ikbal and Firdaus (both boys wanted to follow me everywhere, sweet critters :x) but I can still see Hakim watching us safely from afar.

They both wanted to know what I was doing. I told them so, and Ikbal doubted our tree was still there because the school cut down several trees at the end of last year in an act of "illegal deforestation" as he said.

And surely, the tree was not there. Only a stump of it still remain.

There were other trees on either side of the stump though, and I wondered whether the cutting down of the Nsync tree was an act of retribution from the school. Sigh.

Boys leaning onto a neighbouring tree.

Today is 2011.

The three of us left the bushes. I heard Ikbal suggesting to Firdaus that they take a leaf out of my book and also carve their names onto one of the remaining trees...

Have I set a bad example?

It's a good day to be 12

Saw him walking down the pavement with a friend towards the compound. Told my company to stay put and I raced after him. Jogged to fall in step on his right.

"C'mon, ice creams on me." As promised so yesterday.

A week not to forget

You were waiting alone at the cafe and she walked by with her friends, approximately two meters from you. You fumbled with your iPod, trying to look anywhere but at her. She talked to her friends facing you, not looking at you but glancing up here and there.

Your eyes met (as the cliche goes) and she flashed you the cockiest smirk. You smirked back, knowing fully that the two of you were playing hard to get.

She walked to your table with the same steady gait she carried herself and smiled just as arrogantly. "Can I have a dollar?"

"No." She was behaving exactly like the school girl who know she's cute and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Oh cmon, it's just a dollar."

You laughed and rolled your eyes at how easy the kid pushed your button. "Here you go."

She ran off happily only to come back later to return you the money. "Don't cry on me." She winked and head off with her friends.

As tall as me!

Deeper voice with a nasal tinge to it.

Unmistakable mischievous aura. Looks exactly like your local prankster.

A flirt, too close.. Going to grow up dangerous.

Mendidik Nerd Berjaya

harus bermula dengan menggalakkan budaya membaca.

Sejak tiga tahun lalu ketika Maru masih merengek-rengek (eh sekarang pun sedang), selalu juga bawa dia ke Perpustakaan Dar Nur Az-Zahra di Telipot sebab lokasi yang dekat dengan SRI Aman (boleh terus ambil Yaya nanti) dan Billion (susu low fat Nestle murah ya di sini, RM4.50 je. Jus karot Vegood pun RM4 je).

Dulu, lepas penat membaca, jalan kaki kot dengan budak kecil tu pergi kedai makan depan Billion. Kami kongsi nasi goreng, saya suapkan budak pendek tu. Mak cik kedai baik belanja kami susu panas. (Ayat sedikit cacat lambang berkarat.)

Sekarang sebab semua dah bersekolah rendah, sebelum boleh baca buku cerita, elok lah kita kerah mereka siapkan kerja rumah dulu.

Maru nampak sangat malas, Melle je tekun.
Moga terus rajin berusaha ya anak-anak (kah3)

Buku kanak-kanak sekarang sama tebal dengan buku medik agaknya.

Ada maksud yang lebih mendalam pada nama Maru 'Kepalabesar' Roslan

Saya mungkin ada rekod buruk di Perpustakaan Awam Kelantan, maka tidak mungkin saya jejakkan kaki ke sana.. Perpustakaan awam negeri sudah tentu ada pilihan bahan bacaan yang jauh lebih banyak, tetapi setiap perkara memerlukan pengorbanan.

Culture Shock!

Ini percubaan menulis kembali dalam Bahasa Melayu sebab hari ini saya terpaksa berbahasa Kelantan dan ianya sedikit menyakitkan hati sebab:

1) got bested for using english in a group of kelantan-speakers. so unfair, i am not going to be awkward with people i care because of language!

2) rasa macam i'm having a relationship with a frenchman, urgh. foreign and cocky.

Maka tuan puan disarankan jauhkan diri dari blog saya, terima kasih.

---

Tinggal seminggu je di Malaysia maka kena betul-betul bersungguh minggu ni. Dan juga sebab ayah dah kembali bekerja maka tak best duduk rumah sorang-sorang (ayat ni ada unsur keganjilan dan penipuan sebenarnya).

Bermula dengan menghadiri Sambutan Aidilfitri 1432 SRI Aman untuk berjumpa guru-guru dan adik-adik tercinta dan old flames wooho! disamping merayap dekat sekolah rendah yang dah lama ditinggalkan.

Which reminds me, terlupa nak jenguk pokok belakang sekolah yang di-vandalize 9 tahun yang lalu. Lusa datang balik kita tengok what happened to it okay. *tulis dalam To Do List*

Dia minta belanja ais-krim tapi saya bagitahu "Sorry ada dollar je, takde ringgit" maka macam mana nak belanja ais krim dan inilah kebenaran yang sebenar.

Masuk kereta ayah persoalkan kenapa tetiba segan minta duit belanja (sebenarnya kali ni sendiri rasa dah terbanyak belanja on tiket flight hehe, pergi KL punya pasal) dan mak pun hulur RM19 sebab kesian tengok dah 21 tahun tapi takde ringgit tunai dalam beg (duit tunai aka duit raya dah habis dengan terbelinya beg baru (curse me) serta ice-blended latte yang penting bagi penerusan kehidupan).

Sebenarnya semua ini alasan sebab dah komited simpan duit untuk beli rumah.

Seterusnya ke bandar dan menindik telinga. Benda ni sebenarnya dah buat 14 tahun yang lalu tapi dipendekkan cerita lubang tinggal sebelah je. Pakai subang sebelah je nanti salah di sisi agama pulak, maka hari ni akhirnya terlaksana lah misi untuk tidak menyerupai Ryota Miyagi ;D


Berkenalan dengan Kak Anita pemilik Anita Jewels dekat Jalan Tok Hakim. Kedai dia baru bukak lima hari sebelum raya, sebelum ni dia kerja dengan ayah dia. Anak dia ada sorang darjah 5 dekat Sekolah Zainab.

Masa dia tindikkan telinga tadi, dia layan ketakutan pelanggan dengan sangat cemerlang! Para bakal doktor boleh la kiranya mendalami bed-side manner dengan Kak Ta ni :P

Dah alang-alang di kedai emas, hantar terus rantai nama dan cincin minta dia tolong krom bagi nampak baru. Benda ni dah overdue sekurang-kurangnya dua tahun, si senget ni seorang penangguh sejati.

Selepas ini akan ke kedai Amway cari moisturizer serta mak heret ke Nirwana untuk beli blouse baru (sebab saya takde duit tunai maka kalau betul nak beli barang kena la bawa ibu bapa bersama).

Esok cuti peristiwa SRI Aman sempena sambutan pagi tadi. Dia ajak dating KB Mall (quite a flirt yo. This kid really is something.. Tetiba rasa culture shock.) tapi dah janji bawa adik-adik baca buku di Pustaka Az-Zahra.

Keluarga didahulukan, membaca diutamakan. Haha.

Because music is an art

And according to Dei, art is a bang. The feelings you get from listening to a particular song dictates how high of a quality it was made with; how much feeling was poured into and the hard work that entailed.

You don’t even have to understand the words to enjoy it; it could be complete gibberish to your ears but what sneaks into your heart is what counts. Like dealing with a stranger in a foreign language, the message will come across eventually despite the boundary of different language and vocabularies.

And because we all felt differently, thus the wide range of genre available for our heart’s preference.

The only reason I keep a copy of CN Blue's Love Girl is because their jamming is soft enough to not be at my level of liking and hard enough to dictate me as a secular person compared to people around me. I live with good people in a good surrounding; when the phone blast with jamming, we all know whose call that was for.

I refrain from listening to it though. It is obviously a sappy love song, a somewhat upgraded rendition of puppy-sick I love you; not my type. And I don’t even need to look up its lyric translation to know this. I feel sickly drowned by someone's PDA already from first time listening to it.

Above all, I have been looping to Tatsuya Ishii’s River. He sings wonderfully, so the man rendered Japanese Elton John. Just the right drawl, the correct emphasis, the timely rhythm.

Listening to it leaves me with a mixed feeling of longing, hope and just a tinge of angst. It fits right in when you’re feeling sort of a lost cause. And when I looked up the lyric translation, it keyed in and locked itself in my favourite list.

#TheScript-ed

When you have more than five related tweets, I figured they're better off blogged instead.

YouTubed #TheScript live radio show. #TheManWhoCantBeMoved's lyric just wow-ed me, read and my eyes sparkled! It's cheesy in a fine way ^o^


They're as sweet as #BrunoMars's but I find #TheScript not as ridiculously cheesy haha #biased #notsorry

That was a take at our three-way discussion on the cheesiness of Grenade last March.

Why did she leave the guy in #TheManWhoCantBeMoved? What did she wanted that he can't give? He was too good for her? Love is lost?

I don't see why you would be in a relationship if you're just going to break up anyway. Maybe I'm too #naive, at least I believe in loyalty.

But! the world is a really big place. I can't possibly imagine every complications of human life and problems we could have. #understanding

#inspired! *pulls out my notepad*

The Trouble With Jane

I am.. in no position to give relationship advices, but here goes.

Jane was having problems at school. She was stalked at every corner and bullied by a group of rabid females who made up her lecturer-husband's unofficial fan club. She wouldn't tell her husband about it; John might sit down with the fan club and that might make matter worse for both Jane and John.

Ironically suiting this post, meet Mr. Jane.

So Jane endured a few more days of coming home exhausted and in her worst state. On top of that, she was as stressed as possible. John saw her state of course, but when he asked her what's wrong, all he got was a somewhat glare and "It's nothing."

The next day, John woke up early and prepared her a packed lunch. He gave it to her with a smile and still in his apron, he said, "I don't know what's wrong, but I hope you'll be okay."

She ate her lunch in happy tears and with a renewed determination to face that group of rabid fans.

---

My point here being; sometimes, knowing that you have faith in her ability to handle stressful events can be a pillar for her in itself. It's a reminder that she herself is a tough person in this game of life. Like this one person said and I quote, "I know you know you're tough."

That, and everyone adores free foods. Especially home-cooked, that's the chocolate shavings on my chocolate chip mint ice cream! (If you don't understand this sentence, you might understand 'the icing on my cake'.)

This post is a dedication and I should have used simple sentences to not confuse him any further, but I fail to write like a normal person..

Today is Mama's birthday. Also today Hakim split open his forehead again, poor thing. Not only that kid has big head (Hakim 'Kepalabesar' Hanifah) he also had his skull plated in iron.

"It's a grand for court contempt!"

"And the school is suspending me because of the pending criminal charges."
-Paul, Leverage customer

Happy Malaysia Day everyone. Let's pretend that that is a Malaysia flag.

I played a lawyer three years ago, defending a student expelled because of a pending criminal charge, something related to possession of drugs (or was it B&E?) We won the case playing with the sentiment "innocent until proven guilty" and "education right for everyone".

It was child's play. In today's justice reality, you don't get that. That's how we come to have Leverage on air.

Three Seasons

Egypt has only two seasons: a mild winter from November to April and a hot summer from May to October.
-Tour Egypt

Summer


Winter
No, we don't have that much snow.
Thus Jr. Pepe's reaction.


Spring
= Exam season

not even a real post, i just don't want this to be misplaced.

also i feel obliged to write something for K's birthday today however unrelated it might be. it's the thought that counts, right?

"Let's roll."

Nenek Teh told us about the break-in at her house and that of her surrounding neighbours. Targeted victims were pensioners and unsuspecting civilians waiting for the bus.

Motorcyclists rushed by, pushed you down and grabbed your belongings before dashing off leaving you to suffer head trauma.

Pensioners crossing the street in front of his house for the morning paper, got grabbed upon and be led back to his house for a thorough ransacking.

Blame her clarity or my overactive imagination, but my blood suddenly rushed with my eyes darting towards Hadi's safely-kept pocket knife (b*tch is uber sharp) and the want to stab it into the offending scum's jugular.. At that point, a gun permit is a good idea.

Told this to the guys in the car and they commented how sadistic I was.


I'm still vindictive over the fact that I can't as freely move around unsupervised with the inefficient public transport we have (wonders where the public fund goes to), and add the safety issue we're having especially against our elders?? This people.. they have no respect whatsoever..

I don't like the constant vigilant we have to be in in our own country, against each other; it should be a safe place called home.


“Let’s roll,” was heard by the passenger Todd Beamer on Flight 93 before he and others rushed the cockpit. It became a rallying cry for the entire nation.

Remembering 10 years of 9/11 and the issues that came with it.

Thought Sounds Like This

aka Day 8 – A song to match your mood.

Umair says I’m usually a happy kid and silence from me means a catastrophe is looming. Maybe around her, but with my flipping mood, I’d say I am normally content. I am blessed with so, so much.

This song is content, River by Tatsuya Ishii. I am mostly attracted to his vocal and the feeling he put into it. I heard longing and hope in this song without consulting the translation to its lyrics. And I wasn’t off by much, you can look up what that song meant here. The lyric is to ponder as well.

The point in music for me, is to be able to dissolve the many trains of thought in my head.

Please say 'I do'

aka Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

Last year our maternal grandparents passed away; both when I was in Egypt and during exam period. 2010 was exceptionally hard and I wasn’t tough enough so yeah, it sucked. It changed me somehow, unfortunately for the worse. I have only myself to blame for.

Anyway, back to the topic. Last year's summer we went back to our village in Beruas, Perak. While the rest of us camped at Ateh’s house, me and my mom went down to our grandparents’ house. No one was there, and the emptiness brought mom to tears and me felt hollow inside.


So I told my mom, “When* I get married, can I have it here?” So that the place will be lively again, so that this special home won’t be another vacant empty space. It used to be filled with us running around chasing chubby cousins for a cuddle and aunties preparing meals while uncles smoked (urgh, when will they repent?) over coffee. It was a happy place.

I want it to still be a happy place.

Mom doesn’t share my sentiment though. She said it’ll be more work for her. I still got time to change her mind, no biggies.

* The usage of 'When' is indicative of my confidence that that day will arrive, hehe.

It's a Healthy Two Years

aka Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

Other than the fluctuating weight and the irreversible sunburnt by constantly kissing the sun, I don’t think I’ve changed much physically for the past two years. I still wear black slacks for every occasion, still keep the same sweater and never felt the need for baju kurung other than for functions. And still retain that impossible attitude (to an extent).

So to prove this point, I'm attaching a picture of myself more than three years ago.

OLC final debate, April 2008 maybe?
From left: Faizah, Razan, Mits. Oh I miss them.

But mentally, it’s another story. You think differently once you expose yourself to others’ dreams and hopes. Mingling with people of various backgrounds and upbringing leads to exposure to variety of ideas, thus you have to be able to think critically and integrate all those information to benefit yourself greatly, among others.

And the reality is that, I realize how much of an emotional and social retard I am since I couldn’t as easily relate to their common sense. Am still learning to mix with people..

Wed

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

-Samuel Johnson

Kak Ina's. She was the closest to a big sister when I was growing up.

Wedding is in the season! There's a few anticipated nuptial ceremonies ahead of us, and that include Ira Sahri's on the 3rd September, Anah Suparman on the 10th and Abang Warouq's on the 18th. I was hoping for a PO entry for the latter given the celebrity status of our best-beloved super senior ;)

Before I forget, feel free to drop by our house on the 3rd September (that's this Saturday, people), we've got a ceremony of our own. Introduce yourself as Atiqah's acquaintance alright? Map is as attached.