too much information dude

Grab driver to UTC today was, simply put, a creep.

I stepped in and said my greetings. And as soon as the car moves, he started asking where I'm from etc, how much is my rent, my occupation and whether I'm a contract employee, whether I live on my own...

He asked about my grade. I just told him I'm a doctor. He assumed I'm a grade 41 like his officers. I didn't correct him. What I've noticed from people who ever asked me this question, is that they're usually the lower grade personnel. Like below 30.

He later told me about his dayjob in a runabout way, asking me to guess (I didn't even take a shot). It was later in the ride that he told me he's a driver with the metereological department and that he's actually standby in case there's a meeting he needed to send his officers to.  

He kept describing himself as "nakal" and "suka mengusik" and that recently a Grab customer reported him as sexually harassing and got him suspended 3 days from Grab.

First off, thanks for telling me. But we're in a jam and I'm too ignorant to get a new driver. Second, why are you incriminating yourself? Are you proud of those facts? 

He said at work people are jealous of him for being friendly and spreading rumours of him and his officer because he drove her (who he described as a "janda" "mama muda" "cantik" "tapi saya anggap macam keluarga") from Kuching to Kapit (just the two of them) and that they stayed in the same hotel albeit different rooms. 

I just commented that we should be professional. I don't think he understood that I'm implying all his conversations as of the almost 30 minutes ride was not professional. 

Then he told me he broke up from his "ustazah" girlfriend maybe 3 years ago, she got married to someone else. He pulled out a booklet of something and opened the page where she wrote him a note. 

"Kenapa kau masih simpan?" I questioned. I forgot what he answered though. 

He seemed proud of himself, boasting that he "tawan"ed her. I assumed it meant he bedded her. At this point we arrived at my destination and so I got out and thanked him. I didn't want to listen to any more of his talk. 

That guy has a mental illness. I've reported his stories to me to Grab Help Center. I hope he gets help. 

i dont want to remember 2022

I think we use to write this year in recap thing, but I'm not doing it for 2022. 2022 has been tough and I don't want to look back on it. When was I really happy in 2022? The more I try to think of it, the more miserable moments I remember, so let's not.

Started 2023 with being oncall with Miss P. She came for round at night and that 10pm, somehow we ended up talking how she worked to the bone as an MO and master student, and finally burnt out with depression during her specialty she had to be on meds.

And somehow I told her about me. 

We had a good talk. And she asked me what should I do now. 

I said I should go to therapy. Exercise and eat healthier. Mental clarity will come, I think. 

We concluded that quitting is not an option for me. So I need to get myself out from under the blanket. 

Now to do so. But I'm stuck on the floor here.