Babyfaced

I have baby face except for my eyebags. Coupled with the fact that on casual days I wear cotton tshirt and cotton pants, add on the slippers or Crocs, maybe a backpack or none at all. Especially if I take my glasses off. Makes me look like a kid.

I don't mind. I won't be approached to buy this or that. I can just go about doing whatever I want.

Today at home there's a contractor around fixing stuffs around the house because none of us is handy. After his team was done we served them some chills and the pakcik asked me

"Adik sekolah mana?"

I grinned at him and ran away. I didn't have the heart to lie, but if I tell him I'm in the workforce already in this shabby attires I'd just bring shame to my family name.

But I realized afterwards. The next time someone asks me that question, I'm gonna reply my alma mater SMI Aman. Although it was more than ten years ago already.

Partner

I'm at home, fighting afternoon drowsiness for a needed nap and watching X Files. Mulder and Scully at it again, with her admitting her insecurities to him.

I guess when you have a trusted partner, that's what you do. And proceed from there.

---

I'm seeing a pattern here. And doesn't need psychobabbling to know what I want right now. Maybe even what I need. Heh. But since when do we always get what we want?

"I run towards my problems instead of away from them, because that's what heroes do."

Today us housemates had our first full house iftor together. Then we prayed Maghrib all five of us and we went to Masjid Bandaraya in a car for our Isya and Terawih. And then we went back for moreh in the kitchen.

And Kak Adilah made that comment, that it was the first time we're all seated together.

Yeah I know. It's mostly me missing. I don't hang out with them much. Even today at iftor I actually made sandwiches for myself while the rest ate home cooked rice.

I have a problem. In which I run from what appears to be good things. It happened when I was a student, when I was a houseman, and now when I'm an MO. I don't know how to fix this. Good things are good for me, generally speaking. Makes you a better person. But I sort of feel like it'd make me a boring person. Well.. boring is subjective, so I should change my definition of boring, but still. Maybe that's why I'm running?

I like to think that I'm a good person myself, a good person who is attracted to bad things. Like how I'm a closeted fujoshi? (Not so closeted now that I'm writing it here, but it's not like anyone's reading this.) Maybe I like challenges?

Anyway. I don't think I'm going to just.. embrace and accept the good things. Because I have this very inert urge to just run away from it. So yeah. As of now we're still going nowhere with this issue.

Is it a comeback

I'm postcall.
I didn't sleep well last night, had a trauma case later after midnight.
I worked per usual today.
Went for iftor with V and Subiha at Imago after work.
Later at night I'm back at my place.

So why am I still not asleep at past midnight?