Ms Haz said if I think my life now is huru hara, it is way more huru hara when I enter the programme.
She didn't exactly encourage me but she told me I have nothing else to do anyway and why did I went to Lahad Datu if it wasn't to pursue Master (I hitched and almost told her the truth of wanting to get away from the drama that was Likas). She signed my contract form as a witness, but her words has been subtlely telling me to think about this.
She told me to ask my MOs namely Luqman.
"Well Luqman didn't suggest. And he didn't respond when I complained to him."
She nodded. "Luqman is a person who wants chill life."
Hadi said if I want to quit, I better quit now. Because it will feel worse when I enter the programme.
That's the thing. I can still hold out now. I'm overwhelmed but I'm doing things one by one. I'm checking boxes. I'm getting there, some day.
Should I quit on the basis of not wanting to get through the worst of it? I am lazy and I hate studying, I had a hard time studying for MRCS God that was the worst for my mental health. And I have no reason not to pursue Masters other than because I hate studying.
Reasons to pursue: well there's plenty. There's no use for a mere MO in Paediatric Surgery.
