They told me to not be a girl

We have a baby under our care at the NICU planning for a radiological investigation soon, but Fateh is still ventilated and who is going to accompany the baby; ICU team or the instigating team? Today our surgeon asked me and I said

"Ikut hati saya," while making forms for the blood I took. "Saya lagi confident Medical hantar patient dari HO Surgery."

Because let's face it, can they manage the ventilation part? When I was in Surgery, I couldn't.

"Kenapa kena ikut hati kau. Penting ke." Dr. Zafran taunted.

The MOs are used to bickering with me and it has become a regular for them, but I'm getting tired of being constantly treated harshly by the people I like. I know we're friends and we hang out together, but when we're talking about cases do I have to even request we be civil and professional? In front of the bosses no less?

So I answered sharply. "Penting sebab saya yang jaga dia." And that shut him up.

Afterwards I asked Luqman of the plan he wrote when Mr. Ruzaimie saw the case that I referred last night.

"What was the first word? I couldn't read your writing."

"Spigot."

"Oh okay." I'll look it up, I'm not familiar with that term.

He was shutting the door behind him when he answered me but he made a double turn.

"The eyes don't see what the mind doesn't know." And then he left.

I held my tongue from making a comeback. I know he's in a midlife crisis but there was no need to be hateful like that. And what I asked was regarding a case, nothing personal. So why make a personal comment?

It's a good thing I am becoming a surgeon because I have a clear vision of what I want. Had I been a lesser person I would have abandoned these people. The surgeons are great, Dr. Aizat and Dr. Vicky support me academically, my sisters are amiable with me but these two idiots for MOs are pushing my limit, Luqman especially. It matters to me because I consider him my bro and I am stupidly sentimental, and he and Dr. Zafran are pushing it. Don't they see the lines between friends and professionalism?

If this happens again, if they can't stay professional and I keep taking this personally, I'm going to say "that's it" and walk out of this brotherhood.

I should act more like a lady (keyword here is should)

These three days has been fun. Whenever I'm bored I will naturally follow my bros around; one is ongoing midlife crisis, another who introduced me to his colleagues as "my boss" or "who is making my life miserable" and another one is a natural bully me.

I learned a lot from Dr. Zafran but he's a funny crazy guy so I naturally became relentless and talked back making their colleagues lifted eyebrows in surprise.

"MO ke HO?" Dr. Mad (was MO HRPZ) said.
"Saya HO."
"Macam ni ye HO sekarang.." Dr. Zaim (V's first year colleague) said.
"Dengan Dr. Zafran je saya macam ni." Sambung gaduh dengan Japran.

One time I turned to kopiah-wearing Dr. Fadli (was MO HRPZ) after Dr. Zafran wouldn't stop annoying me and I asked

"Masa Dr. Fadli MO HRPZ memang layan HO macam ni ke?"

"Haah kami memang layan HO macam ni. Kami siap digalakkan lagi."

"Nevermind I asked the wrong guy.."

---

Today Dr. Zaim addressed me by my name. I think I might have been too reckless here.

ASPS 2016 Precongress Meeting

L smiled at me. I know that smile.

"Tiq, tolong ambilkan bag (pendaftaran) for me."

Nice me went and dealt with the secretariat. This dude didn't register with his proper name, nasib baik this then-reporter had a penchant for remembering people's full name. Came back and handed him his.

Japran: Mane aku punya.

I glared him but nice me went and met the secretariat again. She obviously sympathised with bullied me.

Me: Nah.
Japran: Buatkan kopi sekali.

My legs moved to play the servant role but I might spit in his coffee.. so I said no.

---

Dr. Fadli: Eh cite la pasal xxx.
Mustaq: HO tak boleh dengar.
Me: Okay. (Stood up)
Mustaq: Ala gurau je.

I went away anyway because I'm nice and don't do gossip. I left them boys to what they do best (gossiping) until later Mustaq called me out.

Mustaq: Hang pernah tengok Ghostbuster?
Me: Tak.
Mustaq: Duduk sini semula.
I dragged my chair into their cycle.

Camne tak dapat prostate asyik lepak dengan abang2 je, tapi kakak2 tak ajak lepak sekali hmm.

Dad said surgeon is pulling my leg but cmon I'm having a heart attack now

I was on clinic duty today and was busy until 5pm. I trotted out towards Anggerik hoping to catch a surgeon to guide me with the ASPS poster. When I got there Mr. Ruzaimie was in the house discussing with my MOs and I plopped my head on the counter silently until boss turned around to notice me.

"Salam bos. I need help."

Boss went through my abstract and gave pointers. "Get ready with the questions they're going to ask you and rehearse to answer in one minute. Rehearse baik-baik sebab saya tak rasa saya ada untuk tolong korang. Masa tu waktu makan."

"Bossss jangan buat saya macam niii." I squirmed like the #HOpalingmanja I am.

Then I realised they're not treating me like a houseman. Told this to my pops and he was gleefully laughing at me. Yesterday I merengek to abengoh as well and he laughed at me.

I know I know, in the past HOship is only for a year and logically once you finish HO training for that posting you are basically a junior MO there but WHYYY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEE

Just now I sent boss a copy of my abstract and he replied with

"I just downloaded dozen of papers for you."

Thanks boss I feel so manja now. Sobs thank you boss. Gastro round on me.

---

So Dr. Zafran was pissing me off then he asked for my journal subscription password.

"Why should I give my password to you."

"Sebab kitorang jumpa ayah awak pagi tadi. Minggu lepas jumpa abang awak. Kakak ipar awak pun dah jumpa. Habis satu family dah jumpa."

"Ape kaitan pagi tadi saya pun jumpa ayah saya."

I gave him anyway. Back home I asked dad if he met the Surgery team this morning.

"Haah papa on the way pergi klinik."

"Diorang kata apa."

"Takde pape. Diorang senyum dan tegur papa."

Bwahaha ingatkan discuss benda serius rupanya standard anak buah jumpa bos je hahahah.

Let's sleep

I was on postnatal ward duty with Pofin yesterday and we realised we haven't worked side-by-side in a long time.

"Bila kita nak oncall sekali. Malam tu gerenti tak tidur," Pofin commented.

I rolled my eyes. We both are jonah people and I love this guy but not enough to sacrifice my sleep for him.

That's what sisters do

For the upcoming ASPS another houseman by the name Jihan is coming. She is a final poster nurtured by Mr. Tar as well. I've heard her name but I don't know her.

"Stay with her in KL. Keep her company."

"Why. I don't know her."

"Get to know her la. Give her a call."

"I don't know her. I should not be talking to strangers. Kalau dia lelaki takpe jugak. I'm straight."

"Then you go stay with Vicky la."

"Stupid."

---

"Actually you ate my favourite part of the chicken."

"I did?"

"Yes that's my favourite part of the chicken. Don't let it happen again."

"Okay I'll remember that so that it will happen again."

"Are you trying to piss me off."

Referring cases to bro be like

"Salam Luqman, Atiqah ni HO Paeds dari SCN-"

"Cut the formality. What's up?"

"Nak refer baby from SCN for liver biopsy."

"Okay tunggu situ. I'll go find you."

Fastest referral ever. But why want to find me. I want to go home and sleep. It was straightforward he should let me sell my case then decide whether it warrant Surgical review or not. But nevermind otherwise I wouldn't be seeing him.

Maka mengantuk la budak postcall ni tunggu abangnya tak sampai lagi. How did I got caught by my MO to refer cases at noon?

Bro came. Discussed case with him. Bro clerked.

"So biopsy ni bawah Radio or bawah kita?"

"By kita you mean?" He grinned.

"Surgical." Of course.

He grinned wider. "But you're in Paeds."

"Yes. Fine nevermind."

"You're in the team."

"I know."

He sat down to write his review and asked "Surat referral mana?"

"Ops."

"That's your excuse? I expect higher from you."

Later bro took his leave.

"Thanks for your time."

"Thanks bro."

"Though a waste of my time."

"Thank you for your company."

I didn't spend time with the Ortho crew for nothing

I don't watch Malay drama because our industry sucks. So I watch English drama hoping they will not suck as much.

I was watching Hawaii 5-0 and Chin was fighting this villain and he threw the bad guy out of the window, down the five storey building and camera showed poor guy fall buttock first onto the roof of a car.

Ooh nice fall. Dude not gonna make it. That's a fractured ischial tuberosity up to coccyx, vertebraes fracture, cerebral concussion, what else. Even if he survives this he's not gonna be walking again, spinal cord injury this bad.

So the crew came down to see the body and I was surprised body not there. I was pissed.
What the hell I've had patient fall from a lesser height and couldn't even move his toes! Gaaaah what is this medical miracle!