Goodbye 2024. Today I’m with my favourite people

I started working back in HRPZ on Sunday 29/12/24 and since knowing he's here, I've been counting the days if I will ever see him. 

Day 1, 29/12/24 - I met Dr. Nik Nas, who gushed out:

1st: "Eh awak balik gazette sini ko?"

2nd: "Awak bila nak kahwin?"

I quickly changed topic to "Haritu saya lalu depan rumah Dr. Nik Nas tak nampak dah kereta Merc, ingatkan pindah."

Day 2, 30/12/24 - met the Paeds team when they invited us to some party in the morning. 

Dr. Rozitah the neonatologist who came up to up, gave me a shoulder hug amd multiple pats "Anak dara kita ni!"

Dr. Khanisa my specialist who smiled kindly and asked how dad is doing. 

Dr. Haslizawati the paediatrician in-charged of my tagging in Ward 4 who advised me when I was late in clerking and managing a patient, the high expectation made me cry in the toilet on Day 2 Of Life in Paeds. 

Matron Noriah "ni la dulu2 lepas sekolah duduk dekat ofis ayah dia."

SR Normah "mak ayah sihat? Lama tak jumpa mak dekat masjid." Hahaha they're busy mengasuh anak sorang ni. 

In the evening we went to Radio to discuss a CT scan and I met

Abang Ambe who is doing floating 3 months before placement in HUS. He was talking to my surgeon and though I never talked to him in my Cairo life, I straight up waved and said "Saiful Amri" like we're friends. Hahaha. "Saya Atiqah, junior Cairo." Like that meant anything. Only later did I remember we're actually friends on FB. 

And from afar I saw Bun Suami Lin so I broke off from rounds, walked up to him who didn't see me, gave his shoe a light kick and said "Hi. Bye." And Bun was like "Hey Tiqah, okay dah tangan?" I totally expected Lin to have told him he'll see me around.

I wondered if I will see him there, but I'm left behind by the rounds already so I had to run. 

Round continued to Ward 5 where I saw Dr. Shamsul Bahari and I waved "Hi Dr. Sham!"

"Eh Tiqah!"

What kind of a troublemaking HO was I to be remembered by name by my MOs? Haha. 

Day 3, 31/12/24 - Department meeting so I expected to introduce myself. 

"Salam, saya Nur Atiqah Mohd Hanifah, panggil Atiqah. Saya master student Paed Surgery tahun 4, akan posting di sini 6 bulan inshaAllah. Sebelum ni saya houseman di sini 9 tahun lepas, lepas tu MO di Sabah 4 tahun di Kota Kinabalu dan Lahad Datu. Terima kasih."

Mr. Zuraimi was like "Saya kenal dah budak ni."

Later we met again in OT and he said he saw my car in the morning and was like "budak ni balik Kelantan dah ke."

In OT I met Kak Zahirah and Kak Anis. And later I heard a familiar bubbly so fast voice and it was no other but Shasha!

I ran up to her as she was entering the scrub room and we hugged, I patted her back with my bad hand eagerly hahaha. She asked why am I here. 

"I broke my hand! Why are you here?"

"I'm second year master."

I paused for a second remembering how we dreaded joining the program and longed the chill life before I broke into the longest laughter I could remember. 

"Look at us now!"

—

I was staying back in ward for an intussusception admission, and I kept seeing this HO who somehow reminded me of him. I was going from the cubicle to the counter to the cubicle back to the counter, when I looked up and saw someone grinning at me from the hallway near the patient's cubicle. 

It was him. 

"That's my favourite person!" I said to anyone who would listen as I shot up running towards him. 

I greeted his name with a grin under my mask. "Kau buat apa sini!"

"Aku cari kau."

"Kau oncall ke? Aku ada kes intus untuk kau!"

He said he just wanted to see me, and now he has to go back because his aunt is waiting to go back with him. I walked with him to the ward door and he was like are you otw back too? No, I just wanna open the door for you, as I opened the door for him and took a good look at him. 

He looked calmer. Not as bubbly charismatic he was when we were HO nor during the last time I met him during my first year in HTA. He was calmer now. And noticeably

"Kau nampak kurus. Kau makan tak?"

"10kg turun."

"Kau sakit ke?"

"Tak la."

"Intentional?"

"Ya."

We chatted in the hallway, on either side of the wall as anyone walked through us. He was going to leave but I wanted to chat because God knows I'll get this chance again. 

"Parents kau sihat?"

Heck I've never met them but hey. He told me his dad has ESRD and refusing dialysis, so he was here to get a referral letter for his dad that Syuk wrote for him. He was uremic, intubated for APO in May or so and he brought him to somewhere in KL but he refused dialysis. 

"Sedihnya.. Sekarang dia dekat rumah la kan?"

"Yeah. Sebab tu aku appeal. At least duduk semenanjung."

"Yeah.. kau tinggal dengan parents la kan sekarang?"

And then my patient came wheeled in between us. I had to follow them. He followed to, until Radio. Where his colleague asked why was he here and he said he was going back when he met me, his "kawan" and now he's going back. 

At least I'm not "orang kampung" anymore. I told him I'll see him again, and then I went to attend my patient. 

10102024 - When in the program, there’s no such thing as personal’s principle when faced against superior’s hand

"You're a very opinionated person, you're straightforward. Sometimes rigid. I agree with a lot of your opinion. It's your personality. Part of who you are. It's a good trait. Keep that. 

You just need to be careful about it. Be smart who you talk to. Not everyone is your friend. This world is like that, it's not fair. People talk behind each other, they backstab. 

I was like you when I was undergraduate, but you're in Master program now. I learned it early. You, a little delayed maturity. 

When you talk to patient, you have to speak with more emphaty and allow them leeway.. to some extend." 

Ms Cheng JQ 

10/10/2024 

I surmised that whatever your principles are, first decide what you want. If you want peace and float along this program, then just do what you're told. Don't voice your opinion unless asked. You can be yourself after the program. 

If you can't handle that, then remember what Ms Haz said. 

Base of right second metacarpal bone with palmaris longus tendonitis. Also fucked up my whole flexors from immobilisation. Do you know your thenar eminence is wasted?

I sustained a fall about a month ago and fractured my dominant hand. I'm taking a break from operating for obvious reason and this ingrate child finally returned home to recuperate. Just throwing it out there in case you see me in Kota Bharu. 

Today I reported duty to HRPZ and the first familiar person I met was this tall person who was one of the best Ortho MO during my time wrecking havoc in HRPZ (read: housemanship). I

I was waiting with a grin as he chatted with some of his staffs. The moment he turned to acknowledge me, I greeted with "Salam Dr. Annas. Ingat saya tak?" 

Dr. Annas Yang Tinggi grinned back and held his hand up. "Talk to the hand." Haven't heard that one in a long while. I broke into a bigger shit-eating grin. Did I tell you Ortho was my favourite posting during HOship? I have no idea why I do Paed Surgery. 

He brought me to his office, where the table cover was glass and the chair was plush. He's the deputy director now, but cue me being the annoying HO, gushing how big his office was and how unfortunately lame the office view was, haha. 

"Macam mana boleh jatuh?" 

"Paip dapur pecah. Jatuh masa mop." 

"Ye ke? Jangan ingat saya tak tahu awak pergi masuk hutan sana sini. Nampak je dekat Facebook tu." 

I know I have high risk behaviours but trust me, I'm very careful with injuries to my hand and perineum. I wear gloves whenever I go trekking, my steps calculated. It would have been cool if I broke my hand boxing the hell out of shit but no, it so happened while I was mopping. 

Per catching up, he suggested I see Mr. Samsuddin in KPJ for my follow up, which I did after settling my formalities. Mr. Din, Allah bless him with more wealth and health, sent me to one of the senior physiotherapist Ikram in HRPZ, who did a good number on me. I was both grateful and head filled with profanities because of him.  

"Esok pukul berapa boleh datang untuk physio?" 

"Bila-bila pun okay. Saya free." 

"Pagi?" 

"Jangan la pagi sangat." 

"Pukul berapa bangun?" 

I laughed out loud. 

Anyhow. I bought canned coffee to give to Ikram tomorrow. I feel like I should buy coffee each time I want to curse a person.