Walk away

My bad habit is walking away when people are talking to me.

Either because
I have something to do
I'm tired
I'm done with your bullshit

Belatedly I remember it's rude, but I had my reasons.

Besut

Today I learn that Besut Hospital is two-hours per jouney from HRPZ. And to always make way for an ambulance, you never know inside is a doctor anxious for patient to arrive safely and quickly to the destination.

"You better jadi Surgeon."

Last HO Teaching today. Mr. (Dato') Anuar was on stage about high risk consent. I stood up to ask.

"Salam Mr. Anuar, Atiqah Hanifah dari Anaes-"
"I know who you are."
I chuckled. "Berapa lama valid consent?"

---

I saw Abenik. I waved at him.

"Atiqah? Buat gapo sini?"
"Saje."
"Abenik baru nok oyak 'MO Surgery buat gapo sini, takdop patient Surgery sini, get out from my ICU.'"
"Haha overrr."

---

I sengih-ed to Boh Yi. "Saya lapor diri Surgery harini bos."
"You better jadi Surgeon ye," the cool grin.

I grinned back sheepishly. I really am sheepish around Boh Yi because he's so cool. And the way he said that... If God ever places me in Anaes, I will pursue Intensive Care with Boh Yi as my guide.

Because he has faith in me. He said I'll become a good doctor. And he earlier on invited me to stay in Anaes and to pursure Intensive Care. That one time he addressed all his MOs after teaching during round and he also pointed to me "Atiqah future Intensivist."

As I walked out of the ICU one last time as an Anaes HO, I decided to build my career in the first department Allah place me in Sabah. If it's not Paed Surgery, it will be General Surgery, if not it will be Anaesthesia.

---

Thank you, thank you. A good end to my housemanship. And in the afternoon JKN Sabah emailed me saying I'm suggested for Paed Surgery posting in Hospital Likas.

Alhamdulillah.

Life is easy

Earlier this morning while crossing the road to work, I met a sunshine who smiled back at me. It was Nash in his helmet on his bike on his way to Wisma Persekutuan.

And I said to myself "nothing can ruin today".

I was oncall with the MO who triggered me to cry when I was with her in OT. The sunshine came at the right time.

Living humbly for dummies

I tend to think I'm doing good but when criticism strikes, I'd be thankful for the room for improvement but can't help the little sore part in me.

Am I tak boleh ditegur? That is dangerous. It's almost like I feed on the feel good feeling of knowing I'm doing a good job when it's probably an averagely done job.

How do you balance this? This confidence and this humility? Who do I talk to?

The feeling that will never reach

It's not the first time, so don't worry. We'll get over this. It's a clean cut so it'd heal well.

Maybe the next one will be for real, but even if it's not we'll still be okay because we've been through this before. Or maybe we die young and won't have to deal with any of this anymore.

Just aim to be a good person and live a happy life. I love you, good luck.

H