Adhesive obstruction post open appendicectomy

First day back at work and I'm oncall. I'm the one who do the roster so I have nothing to complain about.

It was a lot of firsts for me. First time I spend the night sleeping beside a patient so that I'm awake for her fluid resuscitation. First time I take out the scan machine to aid with my management.

I felt like it is a bit of success for me as a surgical medical officer. To resus an ill patient so she will be fit enough for operation the next day, and I did. I asked feedback from Vicky and he said my fluid selection was "perfect" but I think he's exaggerating. He said the best would have been to resus the child in ICU.

I kept asking myself if I could have done better, and I think the answer is colloid, and yes ICU admission. I would have the child on closer monitoring, a single nurse aiding me, I would still sleep beside the patient like I did when I was an Anaes HO in ICU.

Both of which I didn't think at that moment and my surgeon didn't suggest, too.

I'm just getting some sleep for myself now. It had been a long day at work and I had to excuse myself from assisting OT because I could barely stand straight. And never felt more the need to sleep in the car before I return. Good night.

Lesson Number One: Don't Be Lazy. Since Atiqah = Lazy, then be Haru

You're paid to work. No matter how underpaid it is, you're paid so that others can sleep.

Wait at the counter for your incoming cases.

See them as soon as they're there.

Talk to the parents. Fill in all the gaps.

Remember thick abdomen.

Remember flushed face.

It's better to assume the worse so you are prepared for it.

Don't let tonsils misguide you.

And review back your newly admitted cases in the morning, especially those after 12. We know how sober you are past midnight.

The Spy Who Dumped Me

I called my parents to rant out today.

Haha nak mencurahkan perasaan?
Ye la habis nak call sape

He stopped laughing. Maybe I came across in a wrong way, I didn't mean it in a pathetic kind of way. I'm a strong self sufficient person and lately I've only been calling when I'm serabut of some sort. As we talked they asked me what I was doing. I told them I'm catching a movie.

Dengan siapa
Sorang
Takde kawan ke
Ika memang selalu pergi mana2 sorang pun

Still in a matter-of-fact way. I'm not one for self-sympathy. So I ended up ranting about Miss then I realized it's such a petty problem. Mom then her usual

Dah ada gewe belum
Belum. Mama jumpa dah ke

I feel sorry for making them worry about me. But I don't know. I mean she's right, she knows me well because of the question she asked. She knows I'd rather be dating than commit to something serious. Can I just have fun? Screw around? That's probably a bad idea.

Pissed Off Saga continues

Mr Ashok asked me what happened in OT yesterday, he did notice something bad happened because I was unusually and scarily quiet. He told me the reason he kept on hitting my arm, stomping on my feet, and let me close the skin was his attempts to cheer me up.

This guy I tell you, I have no idea why those are his ideas of cheering someone up, expected I guess for a prankster born on first April. But the closing skin did cheer me up and so I told him yesterday I was mad at Miss.

He said he heard from the scrub nurse today that I had it bad from Miss and that I didn't deserve all those scolding.

I really understand why my Miss is behaving like that and that's why I'm still okay with her, just pissed off because she kept on putting words in mouth and using my words out of context.

Today was another Fuck It Day since my surgeon apparently still at it pissing me off. But I didn't cower away from her and sat opposite her in front of clinic and maybe she took that as us pissing each other off but still chummy with each other. I guess that's what being family mean, you feel like killing each other now and then. At the end of clinic, she suggested we have KFC. I think she remembered I was mentioning KFC in OT yesterday and I saw it as her asking for a truce. So I ordered lunch and she paid.

Middle of the round, I broke off from the team to refer Medical two patients while they all proceed round at periphery. By the time I was done and regrouped with them, my surgeon turned to me and said "Siap dah laparotomy?" with a smirk. Why la this lady...

I wonder what will happen tomorrow but more than that I want to see how long she'll keep up that attitude. She knows I'm pissed at her, because she commented "sikit lagi Atiqah nak pukul saya" and "nanti Atiqah marah saya" and I just laughed when she said that.

You have no idea...

Pissed off at my surgeon: A saga

Today was a bad day for the whole team. The team is in a shamble.

On my side, I was scrubbed in for four hours with my surgeon who vented to me and at one point it was on me and I got pissed off. I remained fuming in silence the rest of operation and the scrub nurse was the one trying to set us straight again.

She kept asking am I okay and when she asked one last time after I scrubbed out, I gritted out "of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be fucking okay" and that started today as The Day Atiqah Cursed All Day.

My colleagues cowered and thought I was in a bad mood because of them when in fact I was pissed off at our surgeon haha...

I sat down to write the OT notes, couldn't stop my hands from shaking in anger, threw my spectacles down and declared "I can't do this" and went off to pray. I came back relatively calmer, stopped Vicky who was helpfully trying to write OT notes for me, he even tried to make me rest and not scrub the next OT.

I went up to him, my palms together apologetically and I said "Vi you're my beloved bro, but not today. Don't tell me what to do."

I dragged him out for dinner later, he probably said yes to make sure I don't do illegal things like get drunk and crash the car into the sea.