26th Jan: Mesej Kemanusiaan dari Gaza

As he walked his way up the stage, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Yeah, that’s him alright. I straighten my back and stared up ahead.

Eh?

Immediately I did a double take. He looks… old. Solemn. And what’s with that unshaved face? And then his face lit up with a smile; his white teeth contrasting prominently against his sun-burnt face.

I smirked. Now that’s the Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor we’re familiar with.

Yesternight, there was a talk at ARMA entitled ‘Mesej Kemanusiaan dari Gaza’. The title alone piqued my interest, but wait until you hear who will be doing the talking.

To be honest, I was only interested with the topic, overlooking completely the guests of honor since both didn’t ring any bell. After a few minutes regarding my peers’ overexcited reaction with immense perplexity, I finally get it.

Blame it on my ignorance of the current fad, but it took me a long moment to recognize Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor as Malaysia’s first Angkasawan.

Ceh. Girls. I thought being eighteen means you’re well beyond crushes on current icons. I guess that only applied to me.

Since I’ve just finished my Anatomy paper and felt immensely light-weighted, I decided to take up the challenge of Boss to ‘buat kerja tanpa disuruh’.

It was organized on such a short notice, but the turnout was not half that bad. The charm radiating from an angkasawan is now beyond doubt.

So there I was, sitting medial to the isle, third row, readily armed with my notebook and camera; ready to jot down precious jewels of experience from these two infamous icons who just returned from Gaza.

I even had my handphone on silent. How skema.

The talk commenced. Atiqah kicked into journalist mode. Dr. Jamnul talked on Palestine, and then he jumped off the road and started to walk down the memory lane of PMRAM, ARMA and the embassy.

At this point, I stopped scribbling, crossed my legs and arms and stared at him.

Now just how much of these are facts?

I’m sorry, in my naïve opinion; he should not be talking about this topic. It’s controversial, especially since we have people from the embassy gathered together.

Soon, I started scribbling again as he depicted his experience in Gaza.

Then it was Dr. Sheikh’s turn.

He started his talk with a short video with catchy phrases such as ‘in the land of smiles’, ‘where dreams are possible’ and ‘a star is born’.

Then he talked on Gaza. Exactly four points were covered.
1. Tight security before entering the border. There were ten checkpoints before entering Rafah.
2. Numerous public infrastructures were massively destroyed.
3. Yet the Palestinians are continuing living like norm. Such strong hearts.
4. Everyone should play their part with everything they’ve got.

And then he shifted his newscaster-styled talk to that of his well-rehearsed speech on his journey to ISS: Before, There and After.

Personally, I was disappointed. I was looking forward for full details on Gaza after the war, yet all I got was some slightly ambiguous information, a walk down memory lane of PMRAM and a long [and by the words of others who’d been to Dr. Sheikh’s talk before] broken record journal of journey to space.

I might as well stayed at home and savor the delights of Biochemistry. Maybe I placed my expectations too high.

Maybe it’s just me losing focus midway through the program. [Impossible. How could I lose focus? There weren’t witty hunks around.]

Maybe I’m just being difficult.

But regretting won’t bring any progress. So I left the scene, scoffed at the girls rushing for a picture with Dr. Sheikh and made my way out of the hall.

I had a good mind to finish the program coverage that night and get this over with, but the taxi ride home was such a ‘joy’ I just had to sleep it off.

So here I am, writing a frank and personal opinion on ‘Mesej Kemanusiaan dari Gaza’ which contents did not suit the title while trying to make up a much matured and neutral version for PERUBATAN.org

I mean, it’s only right I relay the good to the public and not let their reputations be tainted, right? Just because I was disappointed, doesn’t mean the rest of human population were. I am a self-centered person who constantly restrains herself from storming Suzumiya Haruhi-like.

*sigh*

Hey, isn’t my new Hijri year resolution was to cease whining?

Ihsan Inhardah?

Disclaimer: Post kali ini adalah omongan kosong. Tiada alasan whatsoever mengapa ianya ditulis.

Sometimes, no reasons are needed. I just need to do it.

Duduk diam-diam dan scribble as aku baca nota Anatomy.

Course of ulnar nerve.

Branches of ulnar nerve.

"Tiqah, tandas dah kosong."

"Kay. Jap."

Solat Zohor berjemaah.

"Korang, jom makan!"

"Baik!~"

Injury of ulnar nerve.

Course of radial nerve.

"Eh, aku nak naik atas jap."

Ke tingkat dua. "Korang ada pisau kertas tak?"

"Takde."

Soalan dan jawapan berulang untuk tiga kali seterusnya.

"Nisa, pinjam komputer jap."

"Okay."

Mula mencari rate electric di Mesir. Suheb suruh search online.

Tiba-tiba...

"Atiqah! Pak Cik elektrik datang!"

"Huh?" Segera berlari pulang. Mengarut la pak cik ni, datang time orang nak study. Pakai baju memenuhi syarat dan turun ke reception area Imarah 11.

Pak cik dah lesap. Wani and Maryam dah bawak dia ke tingkat 8. Bagus.

Naik ke tingkat 9. Kacau Nadh pasal bil elektrik rumah diorang.

"Tanya la tuan rumah. Dia boleh speaking, kan? Minta la dia cakap ngan pak cik bil."

Diam. Easier to cakap depan tuan rumah rather than call. Nak tunggu 15hb Februari ke? Mati la aku menahan derita.

Muscles attached to scapula.

"Sebenarnya, lagi senang tanya senior."

"Tanya la [insert name here]."

"Aku tak berani nak kacau dia."

"Lah, dia garang ke? Baik je, ape."

Kau tak tahu...

"Tahun 5 mesti dah habis exam."

"Dia kata dia habis exam 21hb. Hari ni 24hb."

"Lah, tanya la dia."

"Ye la. Sebelum tu, kene top-up kredit dulu." Menuju pintu. "Aku turun jumpa pak cik tu jap."

Turun ke tingkat 8. Lengang. Pintu terbukak luas.

Oh, Nik beli karpet baru.

"Nik, pak cik tu dah balik?"

"Dah, baru je."

Turun ke bawah. Kosong. Bukak pintu imarah. No pak cik eletrik present.

Haish.

Kembali ke tingkat dua, mencari rate eletrik di Mesir.

...

Apsal susah sangat nak cari ni???

Cek biasiswa bulan Januari.
Nak tak nak, kene pergi sofarah esok, sebab En. Hazam nak balik Malaysia.

Anatomy.
Lusa exam.

Tawakkal dan doa adalah nothing kalau tak usaha.

Tak layak dapat mumtaz kalau usaha sekadar maqbul sahaja.

Tingkatkan usaha! Ganbare, Atiqah.

Biochemistry.
Tiga hari kemudiannya. Biochem tak risau sangat.

... Cam bagus je cakap camtu. Arrogance pembunuh utama, tau.

Rate elektrik.
Seunit berapa ye? Tak constant langsung dalam lima bil yang aku dah tengok.

Teruk kami kene dengan bil kali kedua. Teruk sekali rumah 9. Dan imarah.

Wargh, aku tak puas hati bil imarah teruk sangat!!!

Huh. Perlu diperkemaskan diri mengenai hal ini dengan segera.

Bil telefon.
Kene bayar before end of this month. Kalau malas, will cascade a hell lot of more problem.

Tak kesah kene marah dengan orang Arab sebab I can turn off the dictionary dalam kepala anytime I want. Tapi kalau sampai menyusahkan senior, I've nowhere to run.

Router internet.
... Kalau postpone yang ni, mati la kene kutuk dengan budak-budak ni.

Or worst. They'll get dissapointed.

Perjumpaan AJK batch di Manial.
"Aku termasuk gak ke?" Innocent je tanya ketua batch.

"Yela."

Ghassalah rumah.
... Ahli biit dah marah. Kamu bongok, Atiqah.

Karpet rumah.
Tolonglah, aku volunteer tak nak hantar ke kedai. Banyak dah ni!

Sinai Explorer.
Rasa cam malas je nak pergi. Tak kan nak cram semua chores sebelum pergi benda ni? Dua hari je!

Ma'rad kitab.
Nak beli hadiah ke dia. Nak pergi dalam tempoh fadhi before Sinai Explorer commence?

Mati r, kalu semua nak cram waktu tu!

Beli oats dan kelengkapan mandi.
Sabun dah habis, kak.

Beli duulab and rak buku.
Papa bagi RM500 untuk beli almari. Bukan tak de duit, pa. Tak leh nak arrange masa lagi.

Haish.

Gunakan masa dengan sebijak-bijaknya.

I have this ability [curse] to make myself more serabut when there really are nothing to worry of.

And I've this tendency to burden myself rather than do so on others.

And this quirkiness of not asking people for help unless I'm sure they can help me.

And I also choose people. It's not like everyone is ihsan in their doing, right?

Maybe I'm just too worried of Anatomy.

Man, I need my balah.

p/s: Mesti ada orang kata, "Lah, apsal tak minta tolong sesiapa?"

Maka aku dengan cerianya menjawab, "Anti nak tolong ana ke? Wah, terima kasih!"

Switch

Terbaca sesuatu di blog KRJ Johor sebentar tadi.

Tersentak.

Selagi hayat, tak terlambat lagi untuk berubah, kan?

p/s: Mudah tersentak. Mudah terasa terpukul. Semangat mudah dilonjakkan. Malangnya, semuanya juga mudah luput.

Oleh itu, tolong ingatkan saya, ye.

When Sincerity is Long Lost, Thus the Time to Stop

Dedicated to the sometimes [always] senile Atiqah; a lesson for her to avoid being a jerk next time. Please be warned that this post is one long soap opera.

Sekarang dalam fatrah imtihan, but that doesn't mean the patience-challenging pathological condition of our imarah takes a break as well.

Dalam ketika saya singgah sebentar di sebuah rumah, penghuninya menyerbu saya dengan "Atiqah, tahu dah ke sakhonah kitorang terbakar?"

"Macam mana saya nak tahu? Korang ada bagitahu ke?"

No one should expect me to memorize verbal complaint like that. Least when it was told one at a time.

Untuk mengelakkan perkara yang sama berlaku berulang kali sehingga menipiskan my already volatile patience membrane, saya pun menaikkan notis di dalam lif [tempat semua orang boleh nampak] kira-kira jam 12 tengahari, 7 Januari 2009 yang lalu.

Saya meminta mereka untuk tolong tuliskan laporan lengkap kerosakan rumah dan submit kepada saya selewat-lewatnya Jumaat, 5 petang, 9 Januari 2009.

I mean, saya pun perlu study juga. Tujuan utama JPA menaja saya ke Mesir ini adalah untuk belajar perubatan di Kasr el-Ainy Medical School. Kan, Encik Hazam, kan?

Dengan adanya laporan bertulis lengkap 'A-Z. Pathological.' dari mereka, insya-Allah tugas mengatur pembaikian akan lebih tersusun dan mudah. Mereka happy, saya pun lega, kan?

Study pun senang bila dah tak ada benda kacau.

Dan 5 petang, 9 Januari 2009 pun berlalu.

Saya pulang ke rumah dari menderma darah pada jam 6.45 petang. Di atas meja saya cuma ada laporan dari empat buah rumah sahaja.

Terus terang, saya marah. Saya tahu baki enam buah rumah ada masalah teknikal, tetapi saya tak ingat apa masalahnya. Perlu ke saya naik ke setiap rumah, mengetuk pintu dan minta daripada mereka?

Bukankah mereka menggunakan lif setiap hari? Bukankah sudah lebih 53 jam notis itu ditampal?

Kenapa nak susahkan saya, sedangkan saya cuma mahu menolong mereka? Roommate saya senyap sahaja sedang mata ini sudah berair menahan kemarahan.

Saya segera mencabut notis terdahulu dan menggantikannya dengan notis yang baru.

Aslmwbt,

Thank you rumah W, X, Y dan Z.
Rumah lain, aku assume semuanya OK. Tahniah. Dalam fatrah imtihan ni, aku tak nak dengar lagi apa-apa KO.
SHUKRAN!

Laporan yang saya sudah dapat akan disettlekan dengan segera. Mahu sahaja saya ungkapkan "Mapuh gi!" kepada rumah-rumah yang lain.

---

Pagi tadi, semasa menunggu kuliah Cardiovascular System oleh Dr. Mounir yang amatlah dihormati untuk bermula. Saya duduk di sebelah ketua rumah T.

"Atiqah, aku cakap ni, kau jangan marah, tau." Sedikit teragak-agak dapat dikesan dari nada percakapannya.

"Apende?" Saya boleh meneka apakah topik perbualan kami ini.

"Kalau aku nak hantar laporan kerosakan tu ke kau, boleh ke?"

"Tak payah la." Saya mengalihkan pandangan melihat papan putih di hadapan. "Kan dah lepas pukul 5 petang."

Dia tunduk, kelihatan sedih dan kecewa.

Saya menahan diri dari rasa bersalah.

Di akhir kelas, sekali lagi dia menanyakan hal yang sama.

"Bagi je la."

---

Pulang ke imarah selepas niat membawa rakan-rakan untuk membuka akaun di National Bank of Egypt tertangguh, saya ternampak notis saya di dalam lif di-highlight-kan dengan highlighter merah.

It piqued my interest.

Aslmwbt,

Thank you rumah W, X, Y dan Z.
Rumah lain, aku assume semuanya OK. Tahniah. Dalam fatrah imtihan ni, aku tak nak dengar apa-apa KO, ye.
SHUKRAN!

Tertulis di atasnya dengan pensel merupakan:

Hope to be more polite next time :]

dan

Sila guna laras bahasa lebih sopan kepada kawan-kawan,

jaga hati dan hormati orang lain.

dengan dua tulisan tangan yang berbeza.

Saya tertawa sinis. Oh, begini ya? Saya perlu bersopan, menjaga hati dan menghormati mereka, kan? Mereka pula boleh sesuka hati sahaja bersikap sombong, menyusahkan dan mensia-siakan niat saya untuk menolong mereka, kan?

Kawan-kawan? Hah, lucunya. Apakah mereka sehingga mengaku sebagai kawan saya? Apakah saya sehingga diangkat darjat menjadi kawan mereka?

Tidak, saya tidak akan mencabut notis itu. Terserahlah.

Saya tidak mahu memegang tanggungjawab ini lagi tetapi saya akan settle-kan kerosakan rumah saya dan empat buah rumah yang lain serta uruskan kemasukan talian internet dengan sepenuh hati.

Selesai sudah, saya akan lepaskan tanggungjawab ini. Samada ianya digalasi orang lain atau tidak, saya tidak peduli. Tetapi saya pasti akan memberikan kerjasama andai ada hamba Allah yang lebih sabar dan tabah dari saya dalam memikul amanah ini.

Ketua-ketua rumah meletakkan nama saya sebagai ketua imarah dihadapan Allah, sohib imarah dan para senior. Harapan saya pada waktu itu hanya satu sahaja, iaitu agar tanggungjawab ini disertai dengan kerjasama dan bantuan dari mereka.

Nampaknya, harapan saya sampai hari ini sahaja.

Niat saya sudah tidak ikhlas lagi. Kalau tak ikhlas, kerahan tenaga saya akan sia-sia dan masa yang terluang tidak akan diberkati lagi. Maka untuk apa saya membantu mereka lagi?

Saya tidak pernah ingin dihargai atau ucapan terima kasih. Ini antara saya dan tuhan saya.

Hati amat tak tenang, maka saya segera ke bilik mencapai tafsir Al-Quran. Membaca dan menangis.

Dan orang-orang yang sabar kerana mengharapkan keredhaan Tuhan mereka semata-mata dan mendirikan sembahyang, serta mendermakan dari apa yang Kami kurniakan kepada mereka, secara bersembunyi atau secara terbuka dan mereka pula menolak kejahatan dengan cara yang baik; mereka itu semuanya adalah disediakan baginya balasan yang sebaik-baiknya pada hari akhirat.
[Ar-Ra’d, 13:22]

Allah menyuruh agar saya bersabar, tetapi saya tidak bersabar dan berputus asa terhadap mereka.

Allah menyuruh agar saya membalas kejahatan dengan kebaikan, tetapi saya berkasar kembali dalam ketidaksopanan mereka yang mengaku sebagai kawan.

Dan orang-orang (Ansar) yang mendiami negeri (Madinah) serta beriman sebelum mereka, mengasihi orang-orang yang berhijrah ke negeri mereka dan tidak ada pula dalam hati mereka perasaan berhajatkan apa yang telah diberi kepada orang-orang yang berhijrah itu dan mereka juga mengutamakan orang-orang yang berhijrah itu lebih daripada diri mereka sendiri, sekalipun mereka dalam keadaan kekurangan dan amat berhajat dan (ingatlah), sesiapa yang menjaga serta memelihara dirinya daripada dipengaruhi oleh tabiat bakhilnya, maka merekalah orang-orang yang berjaya.
[Al-Hasyr, 59:9]

Allah menyuruh agar saya mengutamakan orang lain, tetapi saya mengutamakan kesenangan dan perasaan sendiri dalam hal ini.

Iaitu orang yang mendermakan hartanya pada masa senang dan susah, dan orang-orang yang menahan kemarahannya, dan orang-orang yang memaafkan kesalahan orang lain. Dan (ingatlah), Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berbuat perkara-perkara yang baik.
[Al-Imran, 3:134]

Allah menyuruh agar saya menahan marah, tetapi saya dengan terburu-burunya menyatakan kemarahan.

Tangisan saya semakin teruk.

Saya mengaku sebagai seorang Muslim, tetapi akhlak Islam langsung saya tak amalkan dalam menghadapi ujian kecil ini.

Saya mengharapkan bantuan dan kesenangan dariNya, tetapi saya langsung tidak mengikut sepenuhnya suruhanNya.

Saya mendoakan keselamatan saudara-saudara di Palestin dan di seluruh dunia, tetapi bagaimana janji kemenangan dari Allah akan tertunai andai saya sebagai seorang Muslim sendiri menolak ajaran kebenaran ini?

Bagaimanakah laluan saya di atas ilmuNya hendak dipermudahkan, apatah lagi laluan saya ke syurgaNya?

MERCY Malaysia Showdown

MERCY Malaysia came down to Cairo for their mission in aiding our brothers in Palestine, especially those fighting for our deen in Gaza.

We had the honour of Dr. Jemilah, the ibu presiden herself talking to us on MERCY Malaysia in general, how she got started and what got her going up till now.

It was encouraging and illuminating, yet fun in the same time. What not with her encouragement of finding the right husband, which evoked applause from the ladies and silence from the gents.

Afterwards, PERUBATAN arranged for an interview with her. Kak Fathy and me waited for her while wolfing down a shared plate of Nasi Goreng Pattaya, courtesy of ARMA's cafe. [I'm not doing them justice. They have a name, which slips my mind.]

The interview, my deer [No, no typo here.] fellows, should be anticipated with tingling toes. We dug up on their current mission which is the highlight of all.

It is prepared by Kak Fathy, so do wait for its presence at PERUBATAN’s webpage.

Kak Radin said, according to BPP's ethics, report should be posted within three days of a program.

And the MERCY Malaysia talk was two days ago.

Yesterday Kak Fathy called me, spooking me with her opening of "Atiqah, apa khabar?" and proceeded with the news of Boss asking about the report.

I should get started with the report now, shouldn't I?

Hmm. But Saratoga-kun is calling me. And there's Respiration-sama beckoning me for another hour of intimate reading!

Who am kidding? I'm seeing "I'm lazy" in between the lines.

I'm starting. Now. Ma'as salamah, minna-san.

Gateaway trick today: *smile sheepishly* Ma'alish. Ana mush fahmah.

To Kak Radin: Nasi Yaman Bergigi Kambing

Semalam ada program di ARMA anjuran MSD. 5-8pm.

Solat Maghrib, Solat Hajat dan Solat Isya' berjemaah.

Makan. Ceramah seterusnya oleh imam yang sama, Syeikh Usama.

Kak Madihah kata orangnya best.

Malang sekali kami tak berkesempatan mengetahui sendiri kebenaran penyataan tersebut kerana mengetahui tentang program tersebut kira-kira sejam sebelumnya.

Our loss. Besides, kami ada solat hajat beramai-ramai di imarah kami.

Afterwards, Kak Madihah [melalui senior-senior] hantar makanan kepada kami. Sedulang Nasi Yaman.

Pemandangan Nasi Yaman selepas dirobek, dikaut dan dilapah budak-budak
Tahun 1 Perubatan Universiti Kaherah 08/09. Rakusnya mereka [kami].

Upclose and personal, kambing yang dijadikan lauk kami malam itu.
Ianya bergigi. Kak Radin, nampak tak?
Sebaris gigi hitam di bahagian proximal laterally dan sejemput gigi putih distal anteriorly.

Budak-budak imarah ambil bahagian masing-masing. Kakak Imarah 9 pun datang sekali.

Diiringi kemeriahan jamuan jiran Arab kami yang berkahwin.

Tak mampu untuk study semalam, sebab lantai rumah saya bergegar dengan vibrasi yang keluar dari amplifier mereka.

Alhamdulillah saya jenis yang boleh tidur dalam keriuhan. Seharusnya mengasah bakat untuk belajar dalam keriuhan, juga.

Saya doakan mereka bahagia dan hati-hati mereka dipaut pada kasih sayang lillah abadan.

p/s: Nasi dah habis petang tadi. Semput perut Rodhi nak menghabiskannya.

By Islam, We're Family

Just a quick spill. I'm supposed to be upstairs for our Tajwid class now, actually.

We all know what's going on in Gaza right now. Don't dare tell me you didn't.

Funny how it takes more than 1430 of our brothers and sister to shed blood before we finally perk up, alerted. It's so funny I feel like crying.

Sometimes, I think meerkats are better at taking care of their clans. Right, so we human should diplomise. Till when?

Till our brothers there are wiped clean, easing those Zionist laknatullah to take over what's rightfully ours?

And we said our 'akal' is what differs us from animals. Shouldn't it be our thumb?

Damn the so-called Islamic authorities for denying our brothers of their right to live.

Shame on us; their brothers and sisters.

Shame on me. Am I merely going to sit and watch the drama unfold?

31 Dec: Arabic Renewing Us All

“Do you live near the Buddhists and Christians in Malaysia?”

It was Arabic class, and Ustazah Heba was asking the class as we furthered our discussion of significance of Hijri New Year and Miladi New Year.

“Well, yeah.”

“Why are there non-Muslims in Malaysia? Why aren’t all Malaysians Muslims?”

Blinked. “Erm, it’s…”

“Don’t you speak to them into Islam?”

Tongue-tied.

Any contractile person could easily counter back with, “Well, why aren’t all Egyptians Muslims?”

But this is the time to be matured.

That question is rhetorical; a question which requires no answers, yet more for thought-provoking and deep insight.

A question of chain-questions.

Do I speak to them into Islam? No, scratch that. Do I even behave myself as a Muslim?

Not just mere Muslim of the syahadah ‘La ilaha illallah, Muhammadan rasulullah’, but a Muslim who fully understands the significance of being a Muslim and practices whole-heartedly the teachings and rulings that came with the package.

Let’s be one of them.

It was another excellent Arabic class. Increased vocabulary and a refined awareness for the continuation of Rasulullah’s teachings.

29 Dec: A New Year, a Better Me

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim~

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah :]

My sincerest congratulation to us all on being given yet another chance to continue striving for another new year, 1430H, markedly showered with His favors of Islam and iman.

Congratulation for yet another chance to keep on practicing His deen and to better ourselves to a more mantap phase.

[Sorry, my poor English is finally catching up. Besides, what’s mantap in English?]

Since a new year is worthless if we remain at the same level of iman as the year previous, I’ve listed three major flaws that need to be wiped gradually for me to become a better person, thus increasing the ability to contribute to our beloved ummah.

1) Be patient
2) Cease whining
3) Organized and time-wise

May my intention remains sincere and He ease all for me. [3:159]

May I have fellows ready to correct me had I forgotten any of these. [51:55]

Happy New Hijri Year to me and the rest of you, folks. May life continue to be blessed.

Keep your faith.

Ukhtukum fillah;

Nur Atiqah Mohd Hanifah.

p/s: Am using this opportunity to apologize deeply and sincerely to all for being a siput at replying messages; particularly to Papa, Along, Mlmh Sakinah, all seniors and Ira.

Oh man, I can’t believe I haven’t reply messages dated as Ice Age as 14th December!

Perhaps I should throw in ‘Reply all messages before they decay’?

…

Nah. Maybe next year.