Flotilla the Ship

They are onboard Mavi Marmara fighting fire with prayers.

We see what they do, we update ourselves on their journey, we pray for their victory, yet do we reflect back on ourselves?

They are one step closer to Paradise, perhaps they are already there. What about us? Are we still wasting time drowning in petty sins, or are we doing our best to better ourselves?

Not equal are those believers who sit (at home) and receive no hurt, and those who strive and fight in the cause of Allah with their goods and their persons.

Allah hath granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than to those who sit (at home). Unto all (in Faith) Hath Allah promised good:

But those who strive and fight Hath He distinguished above those who sit (at home) by a special reward, ranks specially bestowed by Him, and Forgiveness and Mercy. For Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
[An-Nisa’ : 95-96]

At the end of the day, we’re not just aiming to be a good citizen of the world. We aim to enter Paradise with pride.

Muslims everywhere are united by our one faith in Allah thus we are family. And humanity is shared among those with higher brain function.

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Atuk

Atuk passed away this morning. He was burried after Asar. Them folks are back in Beruas, Perak.

Punch me so I can feel
Let it rain so I can ...

I will be polite out of respect, and Allah help me, I will it not to thin.

Hope the silence is sufficient.

Mak Lang

On 23rd May, Mak Lang was admitted to the hospital. Parents, Yaya and Hakim were at Shah Alam registering Amirah to her UiTM Law foundation, and Harith and Hazim were at school. The contractor friend of dad who installed our new air-conds noticed her groaning in pain with a very splitting headache and alerted dad.

Dad called for the ambulance and they soon rushed home.

Currently she is warded in USM's Neuro ICU after developing cerebellar bleeding secondary to hypertension complicated with acute hydrocephalus. She undergone an external drainage to reduce her intracranial pressure. The drain was initially filled with blood which had cleared now.

Paralyzing agents were stopped yesterday and we hope that she will wake up. However her prognosis is 50-50, and if ever she recovered will be with morbidity.

Pardon the medical jargon. Those were from dad.

Since opah passed, I come to really appreciate the family that I have. And the very limited time I have to really do good to them.

Please hang in there.

p/s: Whoever said hypertension is a small matter?

His side: Waiting for you to be back home.

As I humbly quote from a senior's YM status,

There are three sides in an argument. My side, your side, and the right side.

Here is my side.

Yesterday or so, Kak Pijot shared with us this blog post of a previous UKM doctor who migrated elsewhere due to the terrible working environment faced there. It spawned my fear, somewhat, though I realize the so-called terror of housemanship should not bother me yet, a second year medical student struggling to memorize her pre-clinical studies.

So, the spoil daughter I am, I turned to my father who himself is a doctor about the authenticity of the issue claimed by that poor doctor, and here was his lengthy reply.

Assalamualaikum Atiqah,

Thank you for asking me my comments. I read it in the news about UKM grad leaving the country for Singapore. Well, to tell you the truth... whatever was said was true... but... but it depends where you work.

I have been working since 1980. Then, was the HOs in Melaka. The only few Malay doctors then. I was greeted and treated well by my MOs and Consultants. My pay then was RM 600 increased the next few months to RM 800.

I never think about the money. I wanted to learn and I take the time to learn. Respect need to be earned not because you are a doctor. People respect a doctor because you are a doctor, not during your working hours but after hours too. I was appreciated by the senior nurses and sister and learned lot from them then.

As a MO, I was sent to Miri and Kapit before joining Melaka as a registrar in Paed.

In Sarawak, we were respected... Me then. I never regreted my posting in Sarawak. I learned from nurses, MAs and also the people. There I understand the differences between Semenanjung and Sarawak which is neglected not by us but the politicians. I cried once about commenting to a Iban police officer for delaying the visit of his ailing mother. I did not realised how far they have to travel to reach the hospital in Miri. One week from the longhouse via river provided the river is not dried... Might take 2-3 weeks... I felt sorry and lucky the humbleness of the Iban change me from a Semenanjung doctor proud with all facilities available to understand how much they need our help (till today but doctor attitude change and so are the paramedic.)

I wanted to be a paed after seeing how much neglected the people there was. Did I ever think of quititng... Never in my life. Not the money... yes... now I know why I stayed. Allah wanted me to go on. This is my challenge. Yes, Singapore and UK gave good pay and also rest day.

I did 72 hours call as an MO in Melaka. We were short of doctors. I learned the hard way and I know thus encouraging my current HOs to understand why you need to do call.

Atiqah, do not be despair with the letters and comments. I survived with the system. It was worst before yes... But improvement seen. I never expected my promotion till I retire... but I got it. I know Allah yang memberi rezeki. Apa yang kita lakukan untukNya... mendapat restu dan ganjaran yang lebih baik kelak.

Cerita dari doctor [tu] lebih mengambarkan keadaan di Universiti. I worked and learned for 5 years as a master student in UM. You may not remember... but I nearly quit... Tough... The doctor need to set the IV lines and give antibiotics. Yes that is true...your mother keep supporting me. I never had a good day, weekend in wards and evening with you all. I was exhausted...pergi kerja awal pagi dan balik akhir petang.

But you know what...I learned a lot. The system in UM is like that. Your take blood, set lines and give antibiotics. Tapi papa tak ada masalah, they helped me. Papa tak bayar lunch mereka... yang ada ketika itu ialah wajah keikhlasan seorang doktor yang ingin membantu. That is me sampai kini.

You know why I was sent to Kelantan? Papa sendiri tak pasti. KL ingat papa orang Kelantan. Kelantan, Kota Bharu in 1993, lebih kurang sama tapi better than in Sarawak.

I was shocked to see the paed wards then. Masa di UM... everything was in order. Mama minta balik, papa kata kita tenguk dulu. Setiap hari raya, papa rasa nak minta tukar... tapi I changed a lot in Kelantan. I improve my Islamic knowledge. Papa tahu setiap yang berlaku ada sebabnya....

Also sebab kenapa papa buat subspecialised in Australia. I was offered in the private hospital... I told them Thank you. I went ahead to learn in Brisbane. Hope you still remember...

Atiqah, banyak lagi yang papa nak luahkan. Do not listen to part of their grouses... yes, ada kebenaran dan ada juga tidak benar.

Yes, the system is the same. Better dah got. Pay good for all of you cuma 2 tahun HOs. Ini semua sebab ada HOs yang dari oversea (not Middle East) buat hal. Tak semua nurses macam tu... tak semua MA macam tu... yes they are more toward admin now tapi work very hard in Sarawak. Admin staff ambil tak peduli dengan claim... do not worry in Kelantan..tak ada masalah.

Mereka nak ke Singapore lebih untuk duit dan keselesaan di dunia. Kebanyakan adalah bangsa C namum dalam kes Sultan Kelantan...apa yang mereka lakukan adalah pelik... cuma nak kutip duit... ada masa untuk bercakap dengan pesakit.

My advise to you and your friends... jangan runsing... apa yang bakal berlaku ada hikmatnya. I do not know. Belajar dan balik berbakti kepada rakyat. Challenges akan timbul... papa dah pernah kena. Dimaki hamun namum papa tahu itu adalah kesilapan papa...

Now, I wanted to help not the patients... parents... but also junior doctors... and that will include you... Time off diberikan melihat kedudukan wad... ada doctor terlalu ego, itu buat paramedic marah. To me... simpan ego, then you be respected, willing to learn then you can progress... so take care...

Papa... waiting for you to be back home.


Study weh, baru boleh balik Malaysia dengan tenang.

Atiqah, do better than the best.

p/s: Dr. Mohd Hanifah Mohd Jamil is a senior consultant at Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II, Kota Bharu. His experience is not to be generalized and as I believe everyone is entitled to his own ideas provided he goes by Quran and Sunnah, you may leave comments.

Update:
Papa baca balik, reply... banyak mistakes lah. Sorry, masa terima email, papa rushing nak mengajar neonatal resuscitation program kepada postbasic nurses.