Cause there’s this tune I found that reminds me of you somehow

I went to PICU because my surgeon got an outside referral for a perforated viscus in a 42 hours of life baby. It was almost 5.30pm and the MOs were gathered at the counter. I went up to them and put my hand on a girl's shoulder, who I just met an hour ago and knew her name to be Huda. 

"Guys." I started. "Ada bed tak?"

"Takdeee." They all gushed in unison. "Kitorang baru je cakap pasal ni."

"We have a perf bowel in a 42 hours of life baby. Sape oncall harini?"

"Dr. Faiz. Cuba call, tapi memang takde bed la." Danial said. 

"May I have his number please?"

"Bolehh." He who was initially standing two persons away from was the one who came to my side and passed me the number. The thing about this guy is that he has a deep voice that sounded kind. The kind of voice that made me blush. Why wasn't Huda the one who gave me that number? 

I need to date someone now. I can't go around giddy about a colleague. 

Tattoo over my right 4th bifid rib

I had a weird dream last night. I went to a tattoo parlour and got a nice intricate tattoo over my back with plant veins coming down both arms. 

As soon as I left the parlour I regretted it because tattoo is illegal in Islam so I have to get it removed. I went home and asked a guy to help scrub it off my back. It somewhat worked. 

I woke up and mulled over it. I know I would actually get a tattoo if it wasn't illegal in Islam and I would adhere to it. And who was that guy anyway. Also my chest hurts every time I cough, exactly below my left breast and it's also tender. I think I cracked a rib or two from this chronic cough. 

I snoozed all my alarms and only realised it was 7.34am haha I was 10 minutes late to work today. 

Thank you for helping me help patients

Got a phonecall from PICU MO asking me about the anti-emetic we started for our post op patient. I told him it's part of our Enhanced Recovery After Surgery strategy where we give anti-emetic before the patient starts vomiting, some more she had extensive bowel manipulation and is on Morphine. 

What a long statement for a midnight phonecall, but apparently I am hyper from not eating properly and this person has a nice voice. What did he say his name was? Afiq? But it sounded like Danial's voice, somemore Danial is doing PICU rotation now. 

"Tanya banyak sebab tak pernah pun bagi untuk post op sebelum ni. Lagipun ubat ni bolus jadi kami kena serve sendiri." 

"Oh yeke saya minta maaf sebab menambah kerja." I said while bowing to this imaginary person in front of me. But my tone was anything but sorry. I think I am becoming an insincere person nowadays, I apologise easily but I don't really mean it. I just want to placate people into doing what I want to be done. 

"Eh tak la, okay je." He was quick to respond.  

"Terima kasih Danial." Ya I should have thanked him for serving medications for the patient instead of apologising. We work for the patients anyway. Thank you for helping me help this patient.

I take that as a compliment

On Thursday I did a desloughing and dressing for a really sad wound before I even inform the consultant because I don't trust him as I know he gave up on the wound already. After I was done, I reported to him how the wound was and what I did to it. 

He gave me an earful and told me I should have done this and that, which I did and more. "This patient's management is failing in my hands and I can't take it anymore." He then told me he was going to see the wound himself on Saturday, explain to the mother about it, and discharge the patient whatever may that same day. 

 I nodded and said okay but inside I was fuming. I know you're sad and I'm sad too but we still treat our patients. Who's going to take care of the wound if you discharge the patient? It will definitely get worse than it already is. You want this kid to get Fournier's gangrene or something?  

I documented his plan anyway. The most senior staff nurse read what I wrote and raised her concern. I shared her concern and told her if she talks to the consultant he would probably listen to her, all I get for trying my best for the patient is being deemed challenging his experience.

Today we did rounds with Prof A. Afterwards I told him about the patient's wound and my concern if he is discharged over the weekend. How is he going to get wound care over a weekend if he is discharged. 

Prof A: Does the wound still look like a dog's breakfast? 

Me: A dog's breakfast looks better. Here this is what the wound looks like on Monday, I forgot to take yesterday's. 

Prof A cursed his long list of profanities. He agreed that the patient should not be discharged home until the wound is healed and assured me that he will talk with the consultant. 

An hour later he texted me, informing that he had the talk and the consultant assured him that the patient will not be discharged home until his wound is healed. I thanked him and said now I can sleep well at night. 

Later today Prof A commented to Prof S about me. "No one should commit crime in front of Atiqah, she's the first one to snitch."