"You are a wiseman before you are a doctor."

Dr. Tarrek Kaddah our anaesthetist nice guy asked me in our revision class before the Anaes end round exam. "You have an old lady in the OT. She hid an xray on her back and pulled it out before you can touch her. She told you to take a look at this xray that she took 40 years ago or she wouldn't let you touch her. What would you do?"

"Humour her." I answered. "It's just an xray and she's an old lady."

Dr. Tarek smiled. "You are very kind. I wasn't. I told her that the xray is so old, taken when she was a beautiful young lady. But nicely, of course.

But she still refused to let me do my job. She said her doctor gave her the xray 40 years ago and made her promise to never let an anaesthetist touch her before he take a look at the xray. So I agreed and took the xray.

I pulled the film out and written across the film in block letters as big as possible was SUCCINYL CHOLINE APNEA."

Dr. Tarek finished his story with a twinkle in his eyes and the class took a moment to awe at that doctor from 40 years ago.

At the beginning of the class, Dr. Tarek told us that "you are a wiseman before you are a doctor." And that doctor from the story clearly live out to that.

Sahur 27 Ramadan

@Masjid Rawwas

Tza: Perkataan yang asli Melayu cuma ada tiga je. Paku, padi, ba*i. Yang lain semua olah dari bahasa lain.
Syitaro: Kesiannya. Ba*i tak boleh sebut so ada dua je perkataan asli Melayu.
Me: Haha cam pelik je. Dah tu orang Melayu first borak camne?
Syitaro: "Paku padi. Paku paku." Bila marah dia keluar "ba*iii".
Me: (ROFL)
Syitaro: Paku paku.
Me: (still ROFL) Bo Syitah, bo!
Ada-kun: Syitah bo siye Hana.

Proses penapisan dimana-mana pun berlaku

Dah tahun enam dekat Mesir, dah paling senior dalam kalangan budak medik. Dah pandai berdikari, dah pandai bawa diri. Lintas jalan memang power. Bab berjalan malam takde mushrif pun takde hal, takde orang heran. Sebab dah supersenior kan. Mesti la pandai nak buat ape kalau kena kacau, nak jerkah ape, etc.

Rasanya tu kot sebahagian pandangan ikhwah batch on kitorang.

Sebab dah kenal lama, maka akhawat batch pun tak heran dan tak expect apa-apa daripada ikhwah batch. Sebab kalau expect, akan kecewa. Maka tak perlu kata apa-apa.

Yang melangkaui expectation akan dihargai sepanjang hayat dan diangkat setinggi langit. Hehe.

Kitorang tahu ikhwah kat Mesir ni memang jaga akhawat, cuma segan la bila supersenior akhawat adalah separuh jumlah akhawat yang perlukan mushrif dari ARMA, tapi supersenior ikhwah yang tinggal ada tiga orang je. Selebihnya ramai-ramai ikhwah adalah junior.

Seolah-olah ikhwah batch lepas biarkan akhawat batch dijaga ikhwah batch lain. Cam abang sendiri tak jaga adik perempuan dia, dia pas kat sepupu. Walaupun kata sebatch, kata kawan. Haha, of course la, sebatch maksudnya graduate sama-sama je, faktor lain tak amik kira kan. Kitorang bukan calon isteri diorang pun kan.

Segan, tapi benda ni la yang meningkatkan kesyukuran kami kerana mempunyai ahli batch kacak seperti Am*rul, Am*r dan Bap*s serta junior-junior comel hensem dan sporting. #cougaralert

Terima kasih Am*rul, Am*r dan Bap*s sebab stay juga kat ARMA dan hantarkan kitorang balik sampai la 12.48am. Terima kasih sebab tunggu bas bersama. Terima kasih sebab tak balik awal tengok bola, study or kemas beg. Terima kasih sebab sabar dengan pakcik bas bawak lalu Sayeda Zeinab yang jam nak mati. Terima kasih sebab tunggu sampai orang yang last selamat masuk bangunan yang berkunci.

Terima kasih sebab jaga kitorang. Semoga Allah sentiasa menjaga kalian sekeluarga dengan penuh rahmat dan keberkatan. Jom graduate sama-sama.

Yang menghargai dan menyayangi,
H*ana Akmal

My blood type is M

Sunday the first day of Ortho, I came at 9am and Dr. Abo Bakr arrived at 10.45am.

Monday I came at 9.30am and Dr. Ahmed Khitb arrived at 10.40am.

Tuesday I came at 10.30am and Dr. Ahmed arrived at 10.35am.

So on Wednesday the 9th July, I set out at 10.05am and walked to class. Halfway to college I checked my messages and noticed Wani announced the doctor had arrived at 9.35am.

I ran and arrived at 10.15am.

"Doctor," Dr. Mohamad Abdel Wahed addressed me. "Because you are late, you will be punished."

"Of course," I grinned. "Sorry for being late."

"You and your friends," he gestured to Chip and Haziq, "will take photographs of all these xrays. And then send it to me."

"Okay."

He then told me to take a seat at the very front of the class.

Class was dismissed at 11 and we said we would finish the xray in half an hour because we have Vascular class at 12, so we worked as fast as we could. I put the xray up against the light board while Chip snap the picture and then I place it back on the table and on to the next film. Repeat for 50 xrays.

It was very lenguh. We were practically bullied by our assistant lecturer, hahah. But I had fun. I hardly get punished nowadays so I appreciate some disciplinary action now and then. To me Dr. Mohamad was refreshing.

My blood type is definitely M.

And I learned my lesson. Egyptian generally doesn't respect time, but I have to because it's the right thing to do taught by our religion and exception exists (eg: case named Dr. Ahmed Elshenoufy). 

So today, for his class with him, evrryone was present by 9.15am. Dijah and Qoh even excused themselves early from Dr. Hussein's class to make it to Ortho by 9am. And guess what. Dr. Mohamad arrived at 10.10am.

Egypt really is expectedly unexpected. Hahaha.

He arrived to class and immediately announced "I'm sorry. This time I must be punished."

I laughed and turned to Umair. "Let's have him pose chin lifted and a pistol sign under his chin."

---

Dr. Mohamad: What do you love about Egypt?
Me & Dijah: Everything!
Dr. Mohamad: (disbelieved look) Okay what do you hate about Egypt?
Me: It's too hot when it's hot.
Dijah: And it's too cold when it's cold.
Dr. Mohamad: Just the weather?
Me: Aaand the blackouts.
Dr. Mohamad: What's a blackout?
Me: The power shortage.
Dr. Mohamad: Ah. What about the people? The people are bad! Me and my colleagues, we all want to leave Egypt.
Me: Yeah but we have great doctors and lecturers. The hospital staffs are all nice. They are kind to us.
Dr. Mohamad: (nodding gratefully) Thank you, thank you.
Dijah: We don't have that kind of lecturers in Malaysia. That kind of enthusiasm to teach us.
Dr. Mohamad: (grinned) You will become that doctor.
Me & Dijah: Allahumma ameen.

Hot days should be illegal, or we can illegalize pants instead

It's hot and worsening my sleeplessness and I'm not supposed to make a sound so let me tell you about my day today.

---

I woke up at my alarms (alarms!) for my 7am class, but I thought of Dr. Hussein and how much a disappointment I am to myself and his ideology, so I went back to sleep. Bad move, bad bad move.

I woke up for my 9am class and decided I'm going to get myself a person who will kick me to get up. Literally.

---

Went to Ortho. Dr. Abo Bakr Zeid announced that the exam will be next Sunday and we all looked at each other. Wani spoke up saying her flight will be on Sunday.

"Okay. Saturday."

Turned out Haziq's flight will be on Friday. Lulz.

"Do we have other options?" We negotiated.

He grinned and I have to say Dr. Abo Bakr has nice facial and body structure, with that kind of evil-trying-to-be-nice grin, he reminded me of one of those pseudo-clean Mafia guys. The second Don Corleone. I like. "Saturday or Sunday."

"But our friend has to catch a flight on Friday. Can we please have the exam on Thursday?"

Doc wanted to press because he was inconvenient for Thursday and he kept scrolling his phone for his schedule. The secretary came and asked how he was doing, what's the issue. He told her.

The secretary was a proper old lady of authoritative aura and functional sharp gaze laced with motherly love. She called him "habibi" and told him off, let the kids have their exam on Thursday.

Like every good Egyptian sons, he agreed. She grinned at us victoriously. We grinned back.

She left the room. Doc turned to us. "The full mark is supposed to be 20, but because of this the highest mark I shall give is a 15. Because I am inconvenient."

Hewhew. 5 marks off everybody to let Haziq a chance at his full mark. Why not.

"It's Ramadan, doctor," Ume negated. "Please be kind."

Nah he's not serious.......... Right?

---

Class ended. We rushed to our 11.30 Surgical Skill Lab for our Trauma course. Turned out class was postponed to 12.30 so I went to Qoh and asked her to kindly teach me the things I missed from Dr. Hussein. She opened her notes and welcomed me.

I was so grateful I could cry. "I miss his class and pester his student to teach me instead. I'm a failure."

She soothed me and taught me pilonidal sinus and hemorrhoids.

---

12.30pm and Trauma started. It ended at 4pm. I rushed out of the class with Project Spring Rolls for Syak in mind. Ume stopped me, motioning secretively to Rohim who was facing her.

Oh yeah, Operation Prez. I nearly forgot.

I turned to Rohim and with no preamble, "What's your ride to class today?"

I don't really casually talk to him, and there I was suddenly asking suspicious things. He looked weirded out but humoured me anyway. Such a pure unsuspecting guy, no wonder he was our prez.

"My bike," he answered.

"Where did you park it?"

"Behind Physio building-"

"Okay bye."

I made a dash for it before he suspect anything, trusting Umair to hold him off and to follow me fast.

Some guys were heading towards the bike park area. I saw his red bike which Hilmi was striding, what was he doing?

"Move it guys, why is Hilmi on Rahim's bike. I need to take a picture. Umair, hurry."

They were all weirded out.

"Hilmi is borrowing Rahim's bike, he's going to exchange dollars in Manial," Atan kindly explained, grinning at us weird girls.

"Hilmi, park the bike here please," I instructed. "Here, here. Okay get off please." He backed off. "Umair hurry, touch his bike."

"Like this?" Umair with one finger.

"No." What's one finger going to prove? "Use your thenar.. I mean like you're going to palpate it."

Pics taken. "K thanks guys, bye."

I left the scene.

---

The day hasn't ended yet, but I'm bored writing. Vamos.

Semasa gelap

Berkumpul.

Buka puasa dengan kurma, air sirap limau, kuih muih budak2 ni buat.

"Bile korang buat benda2 ni? Aku rasa semua orang pun sampai rumah kul 4 tadi."

"Ni kat Malaysia ke Mesir?"

Solat Maghrib.

Bagi salam.

Blackout.

"Hmm. Memang."

Lampu kecemasan dipasang. Henset masing2 keluar.

Solat sunat.

Duduk dekat balkoni baca Quran app jap.

Masuk balik makan nasi beriyani ayam masak merah sayur dalca.

Makan slow2.

Panasnya. Belakang ni ada lampu, penting. Tapi lampu sumber haba, tanpa kipas.. Bertahan, semua pun berpanas.

Huda berjalan cari ummi dia. Dia berhenti sebelah menyapa Acik Je yang dikasihi.

Naluri membuli. Pegang hujung dress dia. Huda nak teruskan perjalanan mencari ummi dia. Tak boleh berganjak, dress tersangkut.

Puas hati tengok muka comel tu mencebik.

Habis makan.

"Hana, nak polisterin tu."

"Nah. Nak buat apa?"

Syaimaa guna jadi kipas tangan. Lulz.

Perhati sekeliling. Suasana bising. Biasa la bila semua dah berkumpul. Sepatutnya masa ni baca Quran tunggu Isya.

Aisyah Zahirah dan Syaimaa Shayuthy bincang kertas MCQ tadi. Maryam join bincang. Semakin lama dengar semakin rasa kejadah aku salah sume ke?

Sengih sorang dalam sayup kegelapan. Kalau la ada ruang justify jawapan MCQ tadi, best juga. No problem, better kill a patient on paper if it helps you save a real patient.

Bangun. "Bye. Aku dah tak boleh dengar dah."

Pergi ceruk belakang satu bulatan akhawat. Sandar di dinding dan tulis blog.

Diorang pas karipap. Dijah suapkan. Tangan sebelah terus menaip.

20:17. Power's back. Shukrulillah ala nikmatil mirwahah.

Regret

You wake up, look at the time, realize it's pass the time for early morning class and you've only done three hours of sleep.

I don't know how else to help myself. I'm tired but I can't sleep. When I finally sleep, I sleep past the class I want so badly to attend. To learn from him, to redeem myself, to be a good student and future doctor, to redeem myself. Redemption starts with waking up, but how am I supposed to when I couldn't sleep properly?

It's not good quality sleep and the hours are barely the minimum, but I have to get up now regardless because I have obligatory classes.

Last night I couldn't sleep a wink and it was 6am by the time I passed out asleep, and I was holding myself together because Dr. Hussein's class was in an hour, but I failed and passed out instead. I woke up at three hours later and have to go to my Ortho class. Arrived at the class at 10.20am to a group of girls proclaiming "Alhamdulillah you arrive. You were very late, we prayed you arrive safely."

I simply took my seat.

I don't think everyone can relate to waking up every morning with regret.

This is tough

So I was editing some stuffs for our batch graduation book and needed to do a lot of cross-checking. I was in my Ortho class waiting for the doctor and turned to bother Chip who was studying.

"Chip I need help. I need one interesting fact about X."

He took on a thinking pose. "He's one of the well-off guys we have in our batch." Wow wouldn't have guessed that, his appearance seemed funky casual average to me. I wondered what his dad do for a living. "His dad has a keropok-lekor-making business."

I dropped my notebook. "What? Keropok lekor? Why didn't you tell me earlier!! We're already in our final year!"

Chip was stunned and leaned backwards into his seat, sort of like bracing himself should I suddenly attack him. "How should I know!" He laughed.

"I love keropok lekor!" By now everyone stopped studying and had their attention on me. "This would be the first close acquaintance I have who relates to the keropok business, and I missed all those years to bully keropok lekor from him! Argh!"

"But Hana, I live next to a keropok store," Wani pointed out.

"Yeah and I bullied keropok from you multiple times, right. But imagine this keropok lekor guy.. That's it! I'm proposing to him!"

They all laughed at me.

"Hey I'm serious. I did want to marry a fisherman. This is close enough. Imagine living by the sea, eating keropok lekor every evening.."

"Let me know if you need help proposing to him," Chip offered with a great big smile.

"Thanks Chip. I'll do my best!"

---

The next day in class, I told Umair who was absent yesterday about my plan to propose.

"X's dad has a keropok lekor business? I knew that a long time ago."

"What the hell WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL MEE?"

"I didn't know you like keropok lekor. You love keropok, right?"

I nearly throttled her. "WHY YOU CALL YOURSELF MY BEST FRIEND? I love keropok lekor the most!"

"Okay okay go propose now."

"But I'm not ready to be rejected when he figures out I want to marry him because of his dad."

"Hmm." She then changed the subject.

Sleep issue 101

These days Qoh saved me a copy of Dr. Hussein's handouts and gave them to me when we meet in our compulsory classes. I thanked her gratefully and she smiled back at me happily. I didn't remember requesting such favour from her, which made it all the more.. painful.

I'm trying, but I'm not sure how else to try harder.

Sunday, Monday:
No class
Slept at 11pm till 2am

Tuesday:
There was class
Slept at 1am till 2am, 5am till 8am

Wednesday:
There was class
Slept at 1am till 2am, 5am till 9am

Thursday:
There was class
Slept at 4am till 9am

Friday:
No class, weekend
Slept at 7am till 1pm

Saturday:
Couldn't sleep at all that night. Studied a bit and went reading.
Slept at 5am till 9am.

Sunday:
There was class.
Couldn't sleep that night despite sleepy like hell since 11pm. Went on to work on the editing job for our batch graduation book.
Slept at 4am till 8am.

I hate not sleeping at night, I get exhausted. I'll run to class thinking are my eyes swollen again today.

That's what you call an alarm

I was laying around in my makeshift bed, sleepless as usual. I should get up for sahur sooner. Suddenly a kitten cried out out of nowhere and I automatically shot up straight and dropped my Note in the process. A kitten in trouble, where? We need to save it.

That's when I remembered the kitten cry was that of my 2am alarm.

"Idiot," I grinned, reaching for my handphone and shut the alarm off. Such excessive reaction to a kitten cry.

I think ever since Chigu snagged his feet during sleep in the middle of the night years ago, I have become sensitive to animal crying. I kinda blame myself because I heard a shrill cry that night and immediately ran out of the house towards the rabbit cage (rabbits are silent and docile creatures, when they scream you know it means a catastrophe), but I didn't see anything amiss. There were other rabbit adults and babies sleeping and I didn't know who rang the alarm.

If I had been more observant, maybe I could have saved Chigu's limb. Maybe. Though I doubt the vet had such prowess in microscopic limb re-attachment.

When the heat gets to you

The light is a source of heat and I kept glancing at the ceiling multiple times glaring back the glare of light it bestowed me, so I closed my books and shut the lights off. I prefer darkness anyway. Opened the window above the bed as wide as it could and laid down to sleep. It was already two in the morning.

As I laid there looking straight up, I realized the wide open window posed an entry point for would-be thieves. Umair's place was on the fourth floor with a balcony outside and the roof above. I can see the taller building across from here. It would be too easy for anyone to break in if they want to.

But the night was too warm for my liking and Umair's fan was a poor excuse for a fan, if I close the window I would suffocate. I decided to risk a break-in than squirming in my sleep from the heat.

So now we need a protocol should a thief really trespassed through the window.

He would have to cross over my sleeping body and most probably joustle the bed, if even just a bit. I would reach for my knife beside the pillow and aim for his groin as it would be the widest vulnerable area closest to me. He would fall, I would subdue him, yell for Umair and she will scramble awake because she is a light sleeper and probably severe his femoral if he still struggles. The girls would alert the landlord in the apartment across who will alert the police. Call the nearest ikhwah for the sake of it. I would have to go to the police because penetrating wound is always with killing intention and thus treated as a crime. And Umair will hate me for getting blood all over her newly-bought mattress.

Protocol affirmed. I took my Swiss knife out of my beg and pulled the largest knife out. Placed it beside my pillow and read my before-sleep prayers. If worst comes to worst I'll fork out the money for a new mattress.

---

The next day, I woke up and saw the window still wide open and nothing amiss. Glanced at my knife undisturbed by the pillow. I pocketed it back close and safe inside my bag.

"I was surprised to see your knife out opened like that. What were you doing?" Umair asked while sipping coffee.

"Just in case a thief comes in. I left the window opened widest last night," I grinned proudly.

She gave me an incredulous look.