2025, in short

In 2025, I learned about boundaries.

There was a guy I liked once. One time I had extra coffee so I went to his workplace and dropped it beside his table.

"For you," I said.

He replied "Oh no you shouldn't have. I don't drink coffee!"

"For real?"

"For real."

I took the coffee back and drank it.

The next time was about 5 months after that. He cancelled the lunch he invited me to so I went and bought dinner for oncall him and the oncall person who is my friend, and also to another of friend of mine who was oncall in a different department. I only met my friends to pass them the dinner face to face, and only texted him after.

He replied me way later with "You should have told me earlier. I had dinner with my family."

Lessons learnt:

1- If ever anyone was being kind to me, I will thank them for the thoughts and efforts and that's it. Even if they buy me coffee and I suspect they jinx it. I will smile and take the coffee and later when they're away, flush it down the drain. But I will thank them first.

2- I respect myself for only doing this kind of niceties to someone single who I'm interested in. I told a lot of people that "I'll buy you lunch" etc but they're mostly in passing. Just thoughts. I respect myself and others too much and I don't wreck homes.

3- I see people for who they are and understand them. So I wish to be seen for who I am and be understood, too. Not being reciprocated means that's not the space for me. I don't think people will change and unequal expectation will just build resentment. I choose to walk away.

4- I cannot eat too spicy food these days. Ayam gepuk is so nice but I had terrible gastritis after eating entry level spicy sambal on three separate occasions. That's it for me, no more.

porridge and condiments party in pantry 4A

I went into the pantry to refill my water and in was a group of our staff having their lunch. Kak Maz actively invited me to join them, she showed me where to get the bowl and the spoon. I pulled a chair and got myself a small bowl of chicken porridge that Kak Jen cooked in the pantry.

Kak Maz walked me through the condiments. They were having tempoyak which is a sweet version of it. I didn't want to eat it because durian smells and I have afternoon clinic but I also didn't want to be left out. So I took a really small piece. It tasted exactly like durian, sweet and creamy and kinda unusual to be having with chicken porridge. 

I'm burping as I write this and I can still taste the durian.

They offered me kepayang masak sambal pusak, which is a Sarawakian brown fruit that tasted nutty cooked in the usual sambal ikan bilis. The fruit has a consistency of macadamia but tasted rather plain. The fruit itself is poisonous if not treated properly, so the market sells them ready to be cooked.

Kak Long who seems oldest had 3 bowls. Kak Maz had 2. They encouraged me to have more but I'm shy. I thanked them for the meal and wished Kak Jen murah rezeki. Lovely people. I took my exit for prayers. 

nowadays i drink essenso 2 in 1

A medical colleague walked into the elevator I was in and I nodded my head in acknowledgement. We were in silence for a few seconds before he pops out a question.

"Do you know where the new coffee machine is?"

I pulled out my earphone and contemplated my answer. I know where they are from walking all over the hospital for my oncalls, but I don't want to promote a coffee that tasted watered down. You're better off drinking Essenso 2-in-1s.

So I told him where the two machines are. Then we arrived at my floor and I nodded again in adieu. Didn't wish him enjoy his CoffeeBot because you won't catch me drinking that. 

im high on dumplings

Ohayou!!!! Okay it's not morning but I don't know it just feels like.

Anyway it was a long OT day. I didn't want to scrub in because my stomach hurts and I broke my fast with chocolate drink and water so I was looking forward to ciao to go grab real food although idk what to eat. 

Funny thing though everyone left and it was me over the shoulder of my surgeon closing the abdomen while another MO assisted. I was criticising her closing in my head like the idiot I am haha. And then surgeon asked me "kenapa awak tak balik lagi?" 

It caught me off guard. I stayed because my surgeon hasn't left the elective OT yet. But if she's implying I should go home now by all means bye. 

I was already dressed when Naveena came in at 8pm with the Pizza Hut ordered for us. I stayed to eat but it left me longing for more. Although I had 2 slices, 4 pieces of garlic bread and downed a whole bowl of mushroom soup, I realised it wasn't to my taste.

So I went to Bataras and bought frozen dumpling and juice and had them for supper while joining the TPN webinar and watching Hot Stove League. It was niceeeeee I like dumplings so much. Such delicate flavour. Ahh chicken and prawn, what a delight. Which idiot made meat dumplings over the raya and made me suffer? 

laparuddin

Postcall semalam. Tak habis kerja lagi. Cuma makan keropok Kak Andi goreng dan kopi secawan. Berdiri di kaunter sementara nak sambung tulis review.

"Lapar. Nak telur dadar." Merengek sambil buat kerja. 

Berapa kali dah sebut benda ni. 

Fitri bosan dengar aku merengek. "Ye la malam ni aku gorengkan telur dadar untuk kau."

"Okay."

"Dah ada orang nak masak, doktor minta la yang sedap sikit." Kak Arlyn kata. 

"Saya nak pasta with spicy tuna." 

"Camne tu?"

"Tumis bawang, bubuh tuna flakes yang dalam minyak cili tu.." Tapi sebenarnya panjang lagi cara explain. 

Fitri confused. "Sardin?"

"Bukan sardin. Tuna."

"Susahnya. Aku orang Melayu. Kau minta makanan Itali." 

Me to Kak Arlyn. "Sebab tu saya minta telur dadar je."

Kak Arlyn gelak. Later I went home almost 5pm. Drank a bottle of liquid breakfast. Slept straight 10 hours.

Woke up and check my phone. Takde pun Fitri mesej nak hantar telur dadar. Hmm. 

Atago-san

I suggested we go to Atago-san because of the Hakata Bay view from up there. Also I wanted to try their fancy matcha kakigori, and the fact that Atago Shrine is symbolic of fire protection. I've been in a fire, so yeah.

We hiked up there. Luqman was smoking all the way and I willed myself to not pant. With that kind of chain-smoking how the hell is he still so fit?

We went up to the shrine and I washed my hands per their routine, adding on my own face washing. I stopped in front of the water area and admired the fact that all religions advocate cleanliness.

The view was admirable. I bet sunset and sunrise here be pretty, because it's a hill facing the sea for sunset and behind it is the mountains for the sunrise. I'll come here again next time for those.

We went to the shrine's fancy Japanese cafe. Luqman had azuki mochi and hot tea like the old man he is, smoking again. I had the matcha kakigori with azuki bean that I wanted. It came with sparklers and it was a pretty summer. I took a video of it.

The bitter sweet of the matcha paired with the fulfilling azuki beans. There's a specific taste to their kakigori, salty a bit. And the ice shape. They looked like Christmas. I heard they're made from hot spring water or something.

Perfect summer.

Luqman paid for our tea. It was more expensive than our brunch. He asked me if I know of this place and their menu. I gave him a smirk. Of course, what did he take me for?

Today I had Green Mug with Mizah. I didn't want coffee lest I couldn't sleep until 2am again, so I looked at their non tea selection. Yeah their red tea is nice.. oh wait they have matcha.

"I'll have the matcha with cheese please."

Tomatoes

The first breakfast I had there I piled up tomatoes on my plate because I'm a big fan of tomatoes since Egypt days (Egypt's tomatoes are so so good) and I thought well they're pretty much next door so Jordan's tomatoes must be as good, yeah?

But to my horror them tomatoes were sour. The old kind of sour. I felt betrayed, like the chef stabbed me with the fork I was eating with. I barely swallowed the piece I chewed and I gave up on the rest of them. My mood was sullen. Why was the tomatoes sour? How could they do this to me? Gone were my hopes and dreams of reliving my days in Egypt by having sweet tomatoes for breakfast. This was so wrong. I got up and had toast for breakfast instead, still complaining. My travelmate chuckled disbelieved at my mini outburst but being the person who usually bottles her emotions and reserves them for only important stuffs I felt I had every right to be emotional about tomatoes.

Enough to say I didn't touch any tomatoes for the remainder of my stay. I actually glared at them every morning I pass them at the breakfast buffet. Goodness this kid held vengeance.

I want warm rice with plain omelette

Masalah dengan orang Kelantan adalah sudah biasa makan beras seludup dari Thai maka bila pergi tempat yang tiada beras seludup jadi tension sebab nasi tak sedap maka tak makan nasi sudah lama.

Kemudiannya bila balik Kelantan mula la mencari sepinggan nasi. Atau berpinggan-pinggan.

Fire

Today my mom asked me to grill the fishes for our break fast, so I obediently went to get the charcoal. The fire burning and I didn't understand why she put me on the job. I mean, I was in a house fire, right? She should at least assess my psychiatric state before putting me anywhere near that amount of fire and smoke. I might not be able to sleep at all tonight.

Anyway, I listened to my mom and worked the grill. I shouldn't stay near the smoke too much, it's more that it's not good for anyone's lung rather than the issue of trauma. Plus I was more worried the smoke might not be kind to my white shirt today.

I guess I'm good. So what explains my difficulty to sleep at night?

Working the grill made me wonder about the abomination that is charcoal. We burn real wood until they become black and then consumers burn them white to get decent heat for cooking. Forests are friends, we shouldn't be burning trees for food sake. We had oven-baked fish a few days back so maybe there's difference in their taste that made it worthwhile to be burning wood?

But I didn't detect any significant differences. My palate is not as refined as Hannibal's and I'm known to be partial to simple food like omelette, chicken porridge and simple fried rice with Ayamas spicy chicken drummet.

May Allah forgive us and accept all our deeds and answers, ameen

(1) Stepped into the Toxic Building for our 70 marks Surgery exam and waiting at the attendance table was none other but Dr. Mohamed Rafeeq our very gigih vascular surgeon. I was surprised and automatically greeted him with a salam that he replied plus his polite smile. I take that he remembered he had Malaysian students in his class.

(2) I was with the last group to be examined. Went inside and was ushered by the doctor to the end of the row. As I got near my seat, I recognised the invigilator at my end was none other but Dr. Ayman who taught us General Surgery class every Sunday. I automatically went "Assalamualaikum Dr. Ayman how are you!" like old friends hahaha. He smiled in recognition and we exchanged pleasantries.

He had been coughing ever since the first day of our class, you know. And we once recognise a cigarette packet-like impression in his back pocket, so we spot diagnosed him as having chronic bronchitis. And during the entire exam, we could hear him coughing every once in a while.

Yup, definitely chronic bronchitis. Haha.

(3) I recognised the head invigilator as Dr. Hisham Mustafa who gave us Stomach and Duodenum lectures. I really liked his lectures and the notes I got was easier to follow than the textbook.

He once came and gave us a Swelling lecture but stopped about 15 minutes later because Dr. Salah Shaheen came and apparently there was an overlap in the schedule. He automatically gave in to the older professor with his respectful cheery smile.

Speaking of Dr. Salah, he gave us the most lecture this year and covered for many professors. God bless him with health, strength and ease. One of the professors he covered for was Dr. Nadem who was supposed to give us Esophagus. Dr. Salah started his lecture by saying he was covering for Dr. Nadem who was actually the pioneer in esophageal surgery in Kasr el Ainy.

Legends!! So people, please do attend the lectures. You can't beat their level of experience.

(4) FINISHED ALL MBBCh EXAM! Allahumma please forgive all of our sins and accept all our deeds and answers, and please grant us the best marks. Let us graduate together, ameen.

I was actually looking forward to participating in Egyptians slamming clay beakers to the ground, but I didn't see anyone doing that. Maybe it was actually done on the graduation day instead?

P/s: It was on the 24th because another group of Egyptians finished their exam then. I missed.

Despite all that, let's not forget our final year colleagues arrested by the junta. Allahumma strengthen them and help them. Please let us remain steadfast in the right path, ameen.

(5) We met the new dean today but he was so different from Dr. Hussein... I didn't see him smile at us nor greet any of us. He didn't even speak to us. He just came and posed for pictures and only interacted with his entourage and the official faculty photographer.

Maybe I missed those moments or maybe I didn't. Maybe he realised Dr. Hussein is forever the dean in our heart and didn't bother to change our mind.

(6) After the exam, I thought of the whole week off I have before we start our clinical attachment on the 26th. It was only late evening that I realised the 26th is three days away.

I had a lot procrastinated in the name of exam and things to look forward after the exam, namely:
(a) jaulah Farouq
(b) daurah BFG
(c) complete family's travel itinerary
(d) yearbook
(e) every single details for work registration
(f) books to buy
(g) items to pack
(h) jaulah tidur setiap RI Kaherah at least
(i) go to Tanta

(j) clinical attachment
(k) batch dinner
(l) family coming
(m) graduation day

My deadline is 2nd March. But for now, today, I want to do nothing. It's not "do nothing" in a relaxed sense of an incoming holiday, it's more of a looming feeling.

(7) I uploaded a picture of us IQs in our graduation robe after the session with the dean and people commented their congratulations underneath it. It made me feel.. anxious. I'm telling you we finished our exams awaiting our results. Why are people congratulating me when the results aren't in yet! Huhu..

Yeah, I know. That's not the good mindset to have. We will graduate together, ameen.

(8) And then Bawarouq posted on my wall calling me Dr. Hana and it caught me by surprise. I was so excited and terharu this legendary brother came by and even more so that he called me Dr. Hana. You don't see Bawarouq do this every year, mark my word. I actually went to Mad's wall to see if perhaps Bawarouq was congratulating all his close juniors but there wasn't any post from him on Mad's wall. And then I stopped at that because that's so bratty attention-seeking of me, hahaha.

So I came back to my senses and to the reality of Bawarouq addressing me with that title. It spoke of his confidence in my result which until just now was barely existent in me. It was uplifting.

I can't wait to work and survive as elegantly as he, Bayep, Kak Bid and Kak Elli did.

(9) Tiza invited us over for dinner but we already ordered Nawab. Nawab was late so we promised ourselves we will eat only a tiny bit, went up and I rang the bell once yelling "It's Hana!!" like a brat. Haha.

Tiza opened the door and I skipped inside. I went straight for the food and you know what, IT WAS NASI AYAM!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I HAD NASI AYAM? IT WAS SO LONG AGO I DONT EVEN REMEMBER!

I quickly grabbed a plate and helped myself bwahahaha. MashaAllah it was so good I wanted to cry. And we would have wiped the whole rice pot clean if it wasn't for the thought of the Nawab we ordered. Hahaha. Damn it was so good, so so good.

We had to go back down quickly while we could still hold back from having seconds, so I brought my and Farah's plate to the kitchen and mindlessly washed her dishes. She quickly playfully taunted me. And then she changed the topic.

"Bila majlis kau?"

Obviously she meant my wedding. "Majlis graduasi 25 haribulan." I replied smoothly. She laughed and so I added as seriously as one could while doing dishes. "Aku takde calon la Farah."

"Ala calon boleh dicari~"

"HARITU KAU YANG SURUH AKU CARI CALON DULU BARU PIKIR PASAL KAWEN! APE MASALAH KAU!" Bwahahahahahaha.

(10) Just before Isya our Nawab arrived. Tasnim had prawn briyani while the rest of us had garlic butter naan with chicken butter masala and also a side dish of onion bhaji!

This is my third experience with Nawab, never fails me. I like the bhaji since I first tasted it and went around promoting the bawang goreng to everyone in the house.

(11) I told the girls about this one guy who saved up at least $10k throughout these years. What followed was a discussion why girls can never save up $1k per year and take a leaf out of this guy's who apparently spent 5 genih per day on food (price before the revolution).

"Prawn briyani per meal is already 60 genih!"

"Half a kilo of strawberry is 3.50 genih! And that's not even enough!"

"We have to buy shower foam, shampoos every month. And don't forget the conditioner!"

I was laughing at all their points thinking girls sure spend a lot. But the winner was:

"Guys don't have to buy pads every month!"
"Yeah, and the daily pantiliners!"

I collapsed in laughter.

Mesyuarat Akhir Tahun Taman Suria

Today was rather crazy.

I need to see the dentist but when I wanted to shower later in the morning, the water supply was out. So I went to Umair's. Pait said they were going to Ya Halla after Asar and invited me. I agreed as I've never been there and it could be a potential place to bring my family later, so I thought I would study now, go to Ya Halla with them and then go to the dentist. As a first timer, I don't have an appointment so I can come anytime until he closes at 11pm. Along already messaged me asking what did the dentist say about my teeth.

We ordered three servings of meat and cheese samosa (the cheese was good. I ate at Abou Shakra or somewhere that used some sour cheese that didn't fancy my palate), lamb kabsah (I shared with Ume but the damned girl only ate 1/3 it was a pain to finish the dish), lamb briyani and chicken kabsah with lisan asfour soup and curry chicken to moisten up. I liked my kabsah as it is, it was moist enough for me so I went without the soup nor curry. The curry however tasted nothing like Malaysian nor Indian curry and quickly fell off the girls' favour.

We prayed Maghrib at the big mosque near the roundabout. The five of us went to Alfa Market nearby as Ume wanted to buy "exotic groceries". Anah Hilmi and Huda were having dinner at the nearby Spectra so we thought why not we go meet them and have dessert there.

The five of us went there and we played with Huda while waiting to be seated. Luckily we were seated beside them and Hilmi shared a piece of Hickory Smoked Ribs with us (that I finished) while we waited for our order to come. We only wanted to crash Anah and have dessert but the waiter said we need to order a minimum of LE250 and apparently our four drinks, two appetizers and one dessert only amounted to half of that, so Iema ordered a whole cake to take away.

The Brownies On Ice was so good I forgave them for making my Turkish coffee bitter, haha. We were crazy stuffed and high on carbohydrate, protein and sugar and learned that we shouldn't do two restaurants in one night. Iema had her Rheumatology end round exam tomorrow and the rest of us still have two exams to go.

"What's with this craziness? What are we celebrating tonight?" Kah3.

I don't know what happened but suddenly the topic turned to who's-marrying-who. Hilmi and Anah supplied all the latest gossip from the male side while us girls poked fun at said guys, haha. One of our close friends' name popped up and caught us by surprise because he didn't even tell Ume about it. Anah then asked:

"Sape kat sini takde calon lagi?"

"Saya! Saya!" I raised my hand.

"Hana nak Dr. Iqbal?"

Is this how a matchmaking works? "Sape tu?"

"Kawan Kak Ummu," Ume supplied with a big smile. Kak Ummu is Anah's big sis and apparently Ume knew this guy. "Dia baik, lembut.."

As she said this I stared at her stupidly. If he's so "baik" take him yourself la why are you promoting him to me?

"Hana nak tak?" Anah asked.

I only answered her earlier question as a fact, not to signify I want to meet anyone. Plus she can't expect me to say anything when all I know is his name. So I told Anah this and Ume said "Ala berkenalan la dulu."

"Aku tak nak pun berkenalan dengan sesape."

"Hana nak kahwin dengan nelayan," Ume told Anah. I thought she was going to say foreigner, because that was the latest ideal I told her about. "Hilmi hang kenal dak nelayan? Ada bot.."

Hilmi who was following our conversation silently nodded with a queer small smile. I have no idea how to interpret this.

"Kenapa Hana nak kahwin dengan orang ada bot? Sebab Kelantan banjir ke?"

I laughed so hard at Anah's statement and Ume used that opportunity to leak to Hilmi that I once planned to propose to a guy in our batch, which made me laughed harder. Truthfully I was only joking, I am not that shallow as to decide on such superficial ideals to settle down and I really hope the joke stayed within us and not reach the guy because people will definitely make fun of him then. And I sure hope Hilmi makes no further move because I still have business to settle with that guy.

But who cares, it'd be more fun if the guy gets all awkward while I maintain my cool facade when I deal with him, as I do with all guys out of my circle.

Hilmi said the guy is available and the girls proceeded to make fun of me, cooking up funny reasons why I suit that guy. It was really crazy. Why the hell were we acting so weird in public? Haha.

And then I went to the dentist where misery didn't end.

Duck

Housemate asked me to buy Helwani Bros hotdog from the grocer ("What do I say?" "Hotdog.") but he ran out. So I stepped into the next-door frozen food shop. The following conversation was in Arabic.

Me: Assalamualaikum. Do you have hotdog?
Miss storekeeper: Hotdog? What is that?

Frankfurter? Cmon don't get into nominal aphasia now.

Me: It's like kuftah but it's not kuftah.
Miss: Suguk?
Me: (grinned) It's like suguk but it's not suguk.
Miss: You mean susij?
Me: (grinned wider) Yeah susij! That's it.
Miss: Yes we have...

It's been six years. Still a duck in this world of sheep.

Crisis

Mom asked me if I wanted keropok keping to bring back to Cairo. "Takpe ma," I said. "Malas nak goreng."

Turns out the craving came this evening so I heated up the oil confidently before going to the pantry. Searched twice and couldn't find it.

"Jiha Jiha," I called my housemate anxiously. "Tak jumpa keropok."

"Tu ada," she pulled out those colourful vegetable keropok.

"No no nak keropok ikan."

It was heartbreaking. A house with no keropok keping is so poor, so very sad. I felt sorry for the poor girl. Heated oil but no keropok to fry. I thought she would cry.

The housemate felt sorry. "Kita ada keropok bawak haritu." She pulled out a packet of keropok keping from under her bed.

"Yezz!" The girl ran to the kitchen.

"Gorengkan lebih!" Housemate yelled after.

Keropok fried and brought to housemate's room to eat. Along with the unfried keropok.

"Hana!!! Tinggal separuh dah!"

I laughed. What did she expect? One cannot just eat a few pieces of keropok in one sitting.

We munched while I studied Bronchial Asthma. "Saya nak kahwin dengan." Munched another piece. Man I really could munch on these nonstop. And I need to curb this stopping-mid-sentence habit.

"Nelayan?"

"No." Munched another piece.

"Pengusaha keropok lekor?"

I chose my word properly and took another piece of keropok. This is paramount to my future. "Nak kahwin dengan someone yang akan bagi saya sebab untuk ke Terengganu."

That or I should stay close to Terengganu. Driving to Besut from Kota Bharu isn't that bad to stock up on keropok, I think I know the road.

"Kenapa Terengganu?"

What kind of question is that? "Terengganu is heaven for keropok la!"

This is tough

So I was editing some stuffs for our batch graduation book and needed to do a lot of cross-checking. I was in my Ortho class waiting for the doctor and turned to bother Chip who was studying.

"Chip I need help. I need one interesting fact about X."

He took on a thinking pose. "He's one of the well-off guys we have in our batch." Wow wouldn't have guessed that, his appearance seemed funky casual average to me. I wondered what his dad do for a living. "His dad has a keropok-lekor-making business."

I dropped my notebook. "What? Keropok lekor? Why didn't you tell me earlier!! We're already in our final year!"

Chip was stunned and leaned backwards into his seat, sort of like bracing himself should I suddenly attack him. "How should I know!" He laughed.

"I love keropok lekor!" By now everyone stopped studying and had their attention on me. "This would be the first close acquaintance I have who relates to the keropok business, and I missed all those years to bully keropok lekor from him! Argh!"

"But Hana, I live next to a keropok store," Wani pointed out.

"Yeah and I bullied keropok from you multiple times, right. But imagine this keropok lekor guy.. That's it! I'm proposing to him!"

They all laughed at me.

"Hey I'm serious. I did want to marry a fisherman. This is close enough. Imagine living by the sea, eating keropok lekor every evening.."

"Let me know if you need help proposing to him," Chip offered with a great big smile.

"Thanks Chip. I'll do my best!"

---

The next day in class, I told Umair who was absent yesterday about my plan to propose.

"X's dad has a keropok lekor business? I knew that a long time ago."

"What the hell WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL MEE?"

"I didn't know you like keropok lekor. You love keropok, right?"

I nearly throttled her. "WHY YOU CALL YOURSELF MY BEST FRIEND? I love keropok lekor the most!"

"Okay okay go propose now."

"But I'm not ready to be rejected when he figures out I want to marry him because of his dad."

"Hmm." She then changed the subject.

Bila masa last untuk tajdid niat?

Kita mulakan pos hari ini dengan mengingati hadith yang dibincangkan dua minggu lepas (kot).

Solat, sedekah, sabar. Tiga benda ni adalah tingkatan amal, dimana solat itu tingkat yang lebih rendah daripada sedekah dan sabar adalah tingkat paling tinggi antara tiga tu.

Kenapa solat lagi rendah dari sedekah? Memang la solat tu pertama dihisab akhirat nanti, tapi dari segi kesusahan, sebenarnya sedekah tu lagi susah nak buat daripada solat. Orang munafiq pun solat, tapi mereka tidak bersedekah.

Hal ni benar untuk saya (aaahh ahhh aaaaahhhh). Solat memang wajib maka memang la akan solat, tapi sedekah tu... Selalu jugak la berkira, malas nak berhenti ambil duit syiling la, itu la, ini la, dan sebagainya.

Dan sabar pula paling susah antara tiga-tiga ni. Tak perlu hurai la kan. Sabar itu pada pukulan pertama, setakat ini saya masih gagal dalam usaha untuk bersabar maka selalu resort to ignoring je. Kadang-kadang, untuk tidak berambus begitu sahaja pun susah apetah lagi untuk tidak berkerut buat muka annoyed.

Maka pos ini untuk mengingatkan Hana bahawasanya sedekah itu susah dan tidak semudah menghulurkan wang semata. Dan sebenarnya, penat keringat sakit belakang sama-sama berusaha tu lebih manis rasanya daripada hulur duit je. Kena berusaha ingatkan diri, biar sakit belakang janji pengajaran hari ini dapat.

Bukan senang nak semua 11 orang IQ ada. Kita buat kerja bersama-sama maka tidak boleh berkira dan wajib la bantu semua orang. Hati jangan keras, kamu tu ganas maka selamat la menuju macho seperti Saidina Umar Al-Khattab.

Okay. Mari ke pos hari ini.

---

Dah 7 malam. Sejam lagi Maghrib. Sebelum ni cek dengan Ada-kun, nasi macam cukup je dengan satu periuk 4 pot sedang dimasak. Cek sekali lagi rupanya ada 9 bungkus lagi nasi tak siap.

"Serius 9 je?"

"Ye 9 je lagi."

"Okay."

Nasi 4 pot tadi cukup untuk 6 bungkus. Siap bungkus nasi tu, hantar ke depan untuk isi lauk-pauk. Pergi dapur basuh lagi 2 pot lebih untuk 3 bungkus lagi with safety margin.

Ulang banyak kali dalam hati "Ya Latiff, lembutkan hati-hati kami." Semoga diterima dan semua orang pun dengan sendirinya terus rajin bersedekah. Tengah malam semalam masa hiris sayur, tanya Ada-kun sempat ke kalau nak tulis pape on kertas kecil-kecil pastu lekat dekat polisteren nasi sebagai commemoration jual nasi kerabu untuk tabung Syria dan Gaza, tapi tak sempat. Haha. Tak kisah la, harapnya hati-hati kami sampai kepada mereka dan kalian.

Pergi depan balik untuk tolong wrap nasi.

"Nasi ada lagi?"

"Tengah masak inshaAllah cukup untuk 3 bungkus lagi."

Ada-kun sengih. "Sebenarnya 4 bungkus lagi."

"Cukup je 4 bungkus inshaAllah aku masak lebih skit," sengih balik dekat Ada-kun sambil mata jeling. "Tapi kalau kau minta 5, aku pukul kau. Haha."

Pergi tengok nasi dekat bilik Jiha, dah siap. Bawa masuk ke bilik dan sejukkan sekejap, mula membungkus untuk nasi bungkusan pertama. Ada-kun datang duduk sebelah bekas nasi.

"Takpe je kalau 3 pun. Yang keempat tu Nabila (junior ahli beit Raqaiq) boleh bagi dia nasi putih je."

"Cukup inshaAllah 4," sembur air masak dalam mangkuk Dhia' supaya nasi tak melekat, ceduk nasi bungkusan kedua ke dalam mangkuk, mampatkan. "Nabila bagi la nasi biru kesian dia budak lagi."

"Betul ke ni cukup?"

"Betul," terbalikkan atas polisteren, tutup dengan polisteren kedua. Siap nasi kedua. "Kita bukan berniaga, inshaAllah cukup."

"Oh ye kita buat untuk infaq, so boleh la bagi nasi kurang sikit."

Tak tu bukan maksud aku. "Kita buat ni demi.." Ulang proses untuk nasi ketiga. "demi Tuhan. Maka Dia akan tolong kita la kan. Bukan nak berniaga, tapi sebab Dia. Maka Dia akan tolong kita."

"Haha," Ada-kun gelak kecil.

Siap nasi ketiga. Ada lagi nasi cukup untuk keempat. "Wah cukup! Thank You Allah! Ha kan aku dah kata." Ulang proses untuk nasi keempat.

"Tapi kalau kau minta lima, aku pukul kau."

Ada-kun gelak.

---

Ada-kun tengah makan malam dengan Atiqah Jr. Borak tentang bahan-bahan yang masih lebih sementara tunggu Jiha ready untuk solat Isya'.

"Minggu ni kita kena makan nasi kerabu je." Ada-kun kata.

"Kenapa?"

"Sambal ikan banyak lagi. Dalam peti ada satu bekas lagi bahan-bahan dia tak siap masak lagi."

"Urgh nape tak habiskan masak tadi."

"Macam mana nak masak dia?" Tasnim tanya.

Ada-kun mula ajar tapi tak jadi. "Takpe Jiha reti, kita suruh je dia."

"Sambal tu boleh je kan makan dengan benda lain. Kita tak larat nak makan benda berat dah lepas menghadap nasi kerabu hari ni," ujar Tasnim.

"Haah aku rasa aku tak boleh dah tengok nasi kerabu sampai balik Malaysia kot." Serius la 218 bungkus... "Rai kata tadi aku buat facial hari ni. Nasi panas berasap."

"Hahaha. Rai kata muka Hana dah edema."

"Haha bertuah."

---

Kami masak nasi kerabu hari ni dengan bimbingan dan pantauan Wa mak Dhia' yang thiqoh dan macho suka car tapi tidur menonggeng atas katil Tasnim yang ber-air cond hahaha. Semua keuntungan masuk tabung Syria dan Penajaan Hafiz di Gaza maka kami semua pun tulis nama untuk order nasi kerabu juga. Ye la today we also have to eat. Rupanya Wa kira semua jumlah untuk dimasak termasuk kami maka Wa kata kami tak payah bayar namun setelah diprotes ("Kenapa tak payah bayar pulak? Ni infaq bukan niaga.") Wa berkeputusan "Okay la bayar tapi boleh makan banyak mana pun nak."

Sebenarnya setiap sorang makan tak sampai separuh pun hidangan sebungkus nasi. 

"Ada-kun aku tak bayar lagi."

"Okay okay bayar bayar."

"Nah," ambil not yang ada gambar Masjid Sultan Hassan. "Aku tak nak baki."

Olive Juice

"Ma rumah ada zaitun tak?"

"Takde. Kenapa?"

"Nak pizza bubuh zaitun."

"Nak pizza ke?" Mama semangat bukak peti ais bawa keluar pepperoni. "D'Casa kat depan bukak lagi. Kedai tu ada semua bahan nak buat pizza. Pergi beli base, cheese. Benda lain semua dah ada."

"Kedai tu ada jual zaitun ke."

"Takde." Mama masih punggah peti ais.

"Kalau macam tu, takde makna. Hana nak pizza bubuh zaitun. Kalau pizza je, takde makna."

Mama jumpa buah zaitun papa dekat belakang. "Ada tiga biji zaitun je. Papa dah makan yang lain."

"Takpe la."

Mama tutup peti ais.

"Dekat Mesir, semua pizza ada zaitun." Nada sedikit sayu. Dalam kereta tadi dah tanya James Pizza Hut bubuh zaitun ke tak. Dia dan Harith anak Pak Cik Zul kata takde.

"Negara dia, memang la."

Eat Them While They're Hot

I promise myself to write this hnder five minutes so yeah omg its one minute already okay go

You know I have two chicks right. Kicap and soya. I want to eat them. They're currently in their Day 18 under my care. I will be leaving egypt in 8 days so I need to think what to do with them now.

I was thinking of eating them by then that makes them Day 26 under my care but before I make mistakes, better Google for wisdom.

I found a country poultry farmer (ah that's penternak ayam kampung if the english sounds so weird) and he wrote that ayam kampung sedap dan harum dagingnya bile umur dia 5 bulan.

5 months and by that time the chicken has a weight of 1-2kg.

Erk. I can take care of them come September and by then they'll be 3 months. But who's going to look after kicap and soya while I'm back in Malaysia this two months?

Hmm. Ah times up. Bye. Please pray for Egypt and us!

Mutawatir #1

I found the place by accident. Its.. sort of exclusive ambiance made me reserve that place for special occasions and also made me conscious of what I wear during the casual sitting. Plus we get to see egrets perching on trees if you walk there. Always a humourous sight.

The first time I picked that place as a meeting place was two years ago with two girls along to meet a friend from Luton. After that, I always wanted another round of good coffee, soothing Hotel California from the piano and friendly hospitality but if I frequent there often, it'll lose its exclusivity in my eyes.

The second time was tonight.

Not many people know of this place, I suppose. And it is not me to share it with the same people. So the next person I share this place with, I hope it will be with you. Try not to make me wait.. I want good French pâtisserie :)

The only Kelantanese quality I acquired

is appreciation for fine keropok. And sometimes preparing over-sweetened stuff, but that is a matter for discussion on another fine day.

Keropok is not a simple snack. It is God-send. For me, you can take away all my food and leave me just with this and I will be more than perfectly happy. (Perfectly happy but probably dead from immune deficiency secondary to malnutrition. Oh, so dramatic.)

Every time I went back home for the summer, a huge carton of Keropok Segera Cap 5 Ikan made by Yah Ismail, Tumpat will be awaiting me. I swear my mom is spoiling me rotten.

See what I mean?

Two years ago we were in a discussion and there was keropok served to us. I put it beside me and ate it piece by piece non-stop, until I noticed a friend looking at me in amusement. I looked up, keropok in hand and asked him what was the matter, to which he laughed and said "Thank God it's not pizza."

Earlier this year we won the PERUBATAN debate (oh I forgot to write a proper post about it, silly me) and Suhaila was so proud of me that she gave me a packet of keropok as a congratulatory present!

Hadiah menang debat :D

Once I dropped by unannounced at Ara's place and she immediately commented that I should have told her I was coming by, "or I would have fried some keropok for you."

Three months ago Najiha prepared fried noodle and Syuhada fried some keropok to eat with it, but I ended up eating only the keropok. I hastily ate a spoonful of noodle just to make Najiha happy that I ate what she cooked, but she was still so upset she took away the rest of the keropok and hid it in her room. So stingy.

A week or so after that, I dropped by her house with Nadhrah. Najiha kindly fried a whole container of keropok (I may or may not guilted her into submitting to her stinginess) which I paraded in front of Nadhrah but selfishly ate it by myself before obliging to her sad puppy-eyed face lulz.

Makan sorang menghadap dinding lambang kedekut keropok takmo share hahahah. Amat tak senonoh perangai begini.

A month ago Piqoh started her business of selling packets of keropok to us in class. Ara bought one packet and gave it as present to me. As if I needed more reason to love her, haha. I was going to take it home to eat it as breaking-fast but Is-kun then said "Hana hurry and open it" so I laughingly obliged and told him to pass it around. The guys ate half! :))

Ara is another person who spoils me rotten.

See, I have become nicer. I can now share what I enjoy with the people I enjoy. (Disclaimer: This is plain ironic and narcissistic. No nice people will announce they are nice.)

The next day, I bought two packets from Piqoh :P

By now, they all probably know I have a keropok fetish. Anyone can bait me with keropok and I will follow him to the end of the world, lulz.

Few weeks ago I couldn't sleep that night and when I finally did, I woke up at 10.30am. It was terrible, because I missed the 8.30am tutorial and the 10.00am Neonatology section. That night, this conversation occurred.

It was not the first time I was late or absent from class because of rough night. And it occurred to me that I must have been at the lowest point in my academic life for my friends to resort to baiting me with keropok to ensure I heed my attendance.

Wani bangun awal pagi gorengkan keropok. Oh Tuhan hatinya suci murni.

Anyway, there was no way I will ever pass up on Wani's offer. We are talking about authentic Terengganu's keropok here. C'est la crème de la crème!

P/s: Keropok is fish crackers. The thinner, the better. I like Yah Ismail's best because unlike the over-produced Cap Pinggan, this one is thinner and you can very much taste the fish to flour ratio, which is much higher. And this post was actually intended to be a place to document the increasing number of keropok pictures I have saved, lulz.

D for Dramatic

Dr. Nadia was supposed to give our clinical session today but she was absent, so I joined Class D's clinical session. The following scenes took place there and made me realized how my class was Class B for Brilliance and theirs was Class D for Dramatic, hahaha.

---

Two and half years old Sama was crying and grunting. Crying and grunting. Someone took out a squeaky Pikachu toy and squeaked the toy out.

Sama stopped crying.

"That is a pig or what?" Dr. Hala asked, clearly amused at the child's reaction.

"It's Pikachu!" Class answered. Thankfully it wasn't in the tone of that 'Who's That Pokemon' segment or I would have doubled over in laughter.

---

The students lined up to auscultate ten-year-old Latifah's hemic murmur. I was asking Diyana why the doctor used the term edema of abdomen instead of ascites when I noticed said doctor's eyes were on me.

Probably my voice was too loud. I smiled at her sheepishly and said "Ops sorry doctor."

She looked at me intently. "Enti syatroh?" (You are clever?)

"Erk." I grinned awkwardly at her sudden out-of-place question. Now what was the correct answer for such question? "Ameen?"

She turned to Epul who was standing next to her and helped her to find the correct word. "Not that.." She said. "What I wanted to say was.. She is very, very, very..."

Doctor please don't say talkative. The guys would never let me live it down if you say talkative.

"...caring, kind, cooperative..."

Where on earth did that came from?

"...blablabla... And she asked question in the class." Dr. Hala turned to me. "Are you in the top 10 of the class?"

"No!" Now this one I know the answer to by heart.

"Why not?" She looked taken aback at my abrupt happy denial.

"Because I am too lazy to study," I shot back laughingly.

"So who is the top in the class?"

We pointed directly to Aisyah Mardhiyah, Amirul Yunus and others. Haha.

So I did asked a question in class. And probably have all the making of a top ten student as well (OMG so narcissistic. Somebody slap me please) except for my pathological laziness. Dr. Hala is either highly intuitive and superbly deductive or she needs a total enlightenment in the art of profiling hehe.

Thank you doctor. You restored my faith in my own self :')

---

Walked pass Epul on the way up the stairs to our lecture hall. He smirked and dished out his usual sarcastic flattery parroting what Dr. Hala commented.

I laughed, thanked him and amen-ed to his 'prayer'. I actually had a piece of banana crumble I wanted to give to him but seemed like he had too much fun today.

I ate half the banana crumble during lecture. No wonder I was more hyper than a monkey.