Tidur la anak

Last night I had a nightmare. Luqman told me off for having much free time in Anaes but I didn't use it to study. He said "baik takyah duduk Anaes."

First - why Luqman of all people. I haven't seen him in a long while and the last time I ran into him at the parking lot he greeted me but I breezed through cause I was late and later I greeted him doing review in ICU he barely looked up cause he was busy. Ahh. I felt like he was on payback.

If it's the people I miss... He's not one of them. Thus it's a nightmare.

Second - God I must study.

Third - I'm actually oncall tonight. I should sleep while I could. I brushed my teeth but I'm hungry dumdidum. Actually I'm hyped excited cause I just realised my schedule next week has a postcall-off-PM and that amounts to almost two days off work weeeeeehu what should I do where should I go hahaha can I go on a small trip away alone? But I need a solid plan! Let's get away Haru!

Complete

Last night I intubated a patient single attempt in front of Dr. Hidayah. I was so proud of myself but she was unimpressed. Hahahahaha.

My life in Anaes is complete.

Bro nak duit

I have this bad habit of not carrying cash around and it's troubling when I need to buy food. What I will do is grab any nearest colleague, most of time guys, and go "Bro, nak RM x."

They will usually say things like "wow selamba pow" while fishing out money from their wallet, then I'll walk away to go buy food for me.

Today I wanted che mek molek but I didn't have RM 1 with me. I turned around and saw a couple of girl colleagues with one guy walking behind them. As expected I went up to Aflah and said "Aflah nak singgit." with my arm out.

Aflah mumbled he didn't have RM 1 while fishing out his wallet so he gave me RM 5 that he had. I forgot did I thank him or not but I remember these encounters will usually have me grinning smugly. I then left him for the che mek molek stall but someone called me from behind. I turned around and it was a group of my MOs.

Kak Syazwani grinned at me. "Awak pow Aflah ape pagi2?"

"Saya nak beli che mek takde duit so saya minta dengan Aflah" I replied like it was the most natural thing to do.

She laughed at me. "Macam anak minta duit dengan bapak."

But then the stall sold out their che mek so I went away hungry. I only wanted che mek.

Btw I owe Aflah RM 5.
Faiz RM 10.
Countless time the guys and girls treated me to lunch.

10 days left

when i was in plastic surgery rotation, i remember we went for breakfast after round during a weekend with dr. aizat. it was more of a discussion over kuihs. he told me of his housemanship, where he did his best and was welcomed back by each and every department he went through.

and im realized i am blessed as such.

my last days in labour room, the place i detest so much, so much so the nurses noticed and kak lim pointed out to me "doktor yang tak pernah nak senyum duduk kat labour room" and i didnt correct her saying the only time i smile is when im playing with the babes.

i will remember dr shantan encouraging words, a man who was thrown to a place he detested yet he survived. "when you understand it, you won't mind it. and it will be less of a burden." and dr amin who was always having fun and he commented during last night oncall that i would make a good MO O&G.

i dont like O&G from my second day of O&G in medical school and i went through posting in labour room with the greatest grief in my heart. but i did remember when miqdad asked me earlier in our posting what would i do if i am stuck as MO in O&G and i answered with a sigh "terpaksa la aku buat yang terbaik."

i have come to acknowledge the reason i hate labour room so much is because there's so much i'm not good at. the hell to use a forceps? still cannot brain this.