Humiliated: I'm Cool Now

I've calmed down a little from the hectic episode at school [Humiliated: ARGH!]. Just a bit, I suppose. I no longer hate that guy, just won't be bothered to acknowledge him any longer.

I know someone out there would be proud of me being sensible.

Since I'm in a mellow poetic mode, I'll translate anything I wanna say into a song.

Ah, yes. Atiqah can be mellow at times.

And since I had a thing for loud music, particularly Bon Jovi's, it would be an insult if I didn't use one of their fascinating songs.

From their album Crush; It's My Life

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

No silent prayer for the faith-departed

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice

When I shout it out loud

Chorus:

It's my life

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said

I did it my way

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground

For Tommy and Gina who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky

Got to make your own breaks

Chorus:

It's my life

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said

I did it my way

I just want to live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

Chorus:

It's my life

And it's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said

I did it my way

I just want to live while I'm alive

Chorus:

It's my life

And it's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said

I did it my way

I just want to live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life!

Take that, old geezer!

Lyrics taken from Dry County. Arigatou gozaimasu.

Messaging Junior

I woke up yesterday to find a message in my handphone inbox. It was from Muhammad Ali Omar, or Ali-san as I call him at school. Or Hiroshi-san whenever I felt like nicknaming him.

He is a junior at school, a classmate of my sister Mir. Ali-san is a very troublesome prefect since the tasks I gave him were rarely done. I never doubt his ability as a prefect, but I do think he can do better.

He's the prefect I always complain about, apart from the Head himself, of course.

Personally, I think he's a good kid. I'm quite fond of his little sister, Hikmah, and sometimes was forced to teach her Science but I'm not complaining about it.

Ali-san is the sixth of seven siblings and his best friend is Taslim. Those two are like belangkas [Malay for... I dunno. Belangkas is a stingray-like animal living in fresh water. Never seen alone, belangkas always move in pairs.].

I wondered what the message was about.

Pray for me, please? Lately, a man passes in front of my house every night. He will look around, carrying with him a knife, charcoal and pieces of meat. Very freaking.

I read with horror. Oh my God, that is so scary!

He will yell...

SATAY! SATAY!

I smirked and laughed at the message. My, Ali-san has a sense of humour afterall.

I replied:

Right. I'll pray that the satay he sells won't temper with your diet.

He replied:

Everytime your name was mentioned, my heart will beat vigorously, for the longing I felt for
you. And my love for you will deepen, for you...

MALAYSIA.

I grinned actually, since I've been given that kind of message months ago. Nice try, haha.

I replied:

I pray to God. God, please forgive the person reading this message. He seldoms read his prayer, God, he's to busy reading messages! Amin...

He replied:

Do you think I'm handsome?

I laughed really hard.

Please tick which is appropriate:
[ ] very handsome
[ ] average
[ ] flattering himself

You replied:
[x] very handsome
[ ] average
[ ] flattering himself

Ah, thank you so much! Did I troubled you? :D

I replied:

Hmm. I think you're handsome. Alright, I'll tick for you.
[x] very handsome
[ ] average
[ ] flattering himself

You're welcome. Answering was a piece of cake. Satisfied, grandpa?

Actually, you're:
[ ] very handsome
[ ] average
[x] very flattering yourself and totally in the clouds.

I meant it as a joke. I laughed and hit Send.

He replied:

I pray to God. God, please forgive the person reading this message for she had broken my heart :( Give her Your guidance and excellency in her SPM and her life here and hereafter. Don't You darken her heart till she hurts another human being. God, You are the Most Generous Giver, amin...

My heart sank. I replied:

Oh my God, did I went too far? I'm so sorry, dear Ali, is your heart really broken? I meant it as a joke, please don't take me seriously. I'm so sorry, I never meant to be harsh. Please don't take it personally, I don't know how to handle it if you do. Thank you for the prayers, but please don't be saddened! I am so sorry.

He replied:

Apologies accepted :) Didn't take it personally, actually. Good luck with your SPM :) My prayers'll be with you till the end...

I read with apprehension. Did he mean it? Oh my, I never thought Ali-san can be that sentimental.

I replied, for good measure:

Infinity of apologies, for my...
harsh words
accidentally mad at you
asked stupid and over random questions
hit you anywhere
yelled at you
borrowed your items
called at the wrong time
sudden mood-swings
backbiting or mocking
and anything that hurts you.
Hope all are forgiven!

He replied:

Go and study. SPM is just around the corner. Okay then, Happy Aidilfitri. Assalamualaikum.

I sighed in relief. That the boy's way of saying, "Drop it. Forget it already." I replied:

Too much distraction in kampung, lol. Yeah, sure :) Okay, have a great day. Wassalam.

Looks like I have to view Ali as a better person now, not that stoic and troublesome boy he used to be.

I've a good mind to buy him some candies, but I think, that can be postponed later.

I like my juniors. Though some may give me a hell load of headaches, some can always makes me feel better. Thanks, Ali.

Racism Sucks

I live in Malaysia, a country with a diversity of races ranging from Malay, aborigines, Indian, and Chinese.

I suppose we live in harmony despite the current hectic crime rates and such, but you get my point.

*Sigh* Just now I played my Fire/Poison Wizard, HaruMitsui [leveled 39 now]. I was at El Nath [the Ice City] and was about to leave for the next map when I saw another character.

There was no monster in town, but his health point was decreasing by 15 each passing seconds. I suppose he was poisoned. And since I had an Antidote with me, I merely dropped one next to him and exited towards the next map without even a mere smiley face.

The cleric [Healer wizard, sort of] followed me then. I supposed he wanted to thank me.

"Erm." He said.

I replied with a smiley face. From his armours, he is at least leveled 50.

"You have scroll?" He asked.

"What scroll?"

"Orbis Tower scroll." Orbis Tower has 20 floors, but you can get to 20th floor from the first by using a teleporting scroll.

I had four, so I dropped one next to him, smiled and be off on my way.

"You gave two items to me for free?"

"Yeah."

"Here, a small gift for you." He then dropped a blue bandanna.

Bandannas are quite rare and can be very expensive depending on their colours. And the one he gave me added strength!

I picked it up. "Wah, thank you!"

"Add me as your buddy." He said with a smile. "If you need any help, you can call for me."

So I smiled and added him. As we walked towards Orbis Tower [me going down towards Aqua Road, him going up towards Orbis.], he gave me his email and asked me to add him on Friendster.

We then parted towards our respective training ground.

I happily obliged. I am good at making new friends, I suppose. So I went to Friendster and added him. He's a Chinese from Singapore.

I went back to Maple and told him of it. He thanked me and smiled.

Suddenly, he buddy chatted [means that all his buddy can read what he said].

"Jun!" He cried for another friend of his. "I am so sad! The girl that added me was a Malay! ARGH! And from Malaysia, too! T.T"

How about that? I merely grinned as I read what he wrote and sort of sweatdropped. Is that a problem? I thought God created human of different genders, races and countries for us to get to know each other.

I checked my buddy list right after that. He was offline.

Then I typed /find [character name] to track him. Sure as I had suspected, he was still online.

I should have seen this coming. When one of your buddy is offline, it is whether he really is offline or he deleted you out of his list.

Then I swiftly opened my Friendster profile and it was crystal that he had deleted me out of his Friendster friends, too.

I was... upset? Not really sure, but I do find this unpleasant.

First, it was he who wanted me to buddy him in Maple and it was he who deleted me.

Second, it was he who wanted me to buddy him in Friendster and it was he who deleted me.

It's his problem, not mine. I never thought someone living in this modern world could be so obscene-minded. I suppose I was naive.

In the end, the blue bandanna was never a gift. It was a business transaction.

Heaven of Boredom

"Kaoru, I'm bored." Haru tugged the hem of her twin's school uniform.

"Oh, yeah?" Kaoru did not even look up from her reading.

"Yeah."

"Go read the Quran, then."

"Okay."

Half an hour later...

"Kaoru, I've read two juzu'." A firm tug on Kaoru's pale yellow uniform.

"..."

"Kaoru, I'm still bored."

"Go bother someone else, I'm trying to read here."

"Hmph." Haru walked out of the area with a prominent scowl on her scrunched up face.

Half an hour later, Haru returned with her lips twisted upwards and her brow creased.

"No juniors around." She sat on the couch. "Kaoru, I'm so bored!"

The current page was flipped.

Haru scowled and her dark eyes carried a dangerous raging fire. She shifted on the couch and tapped her fingers audibly on the armrest.

Tap, tap, tap, ...

"Stop staring at me." Kaoru said tonelessly, merely flipping another page.

"Argh!" Haru nearly tore her hair in frustration. "We shouldn't even come to school today!!"

"But we did, so stop whining and go grab a book."

"The only book available here is the PQS book!" An angry tone matched her angry face. "Hell, I wanna go home!"

"Read the Quran." Another flip of a page.

Haru scowled. She grabbed the Quran and read from where she had left off.

Half an hour later, silent filled the air. Kaoru looked up and saw her twin's eyes closed, head rested peacefully on the coach. The Quran was left wide open.

She closed her dark eyes and fall asleep as well.

Haru opened her eyes and scowled at her sleeping twin. Now who am I going to bother? She thought with a deep frown.

She sat on the floor and faced the wall. After a minute of staring, she shifted a bit and let out an angry sigh.

Ten minute passed and Haru's boredom ten folded. She stood up angrily and walked towards the school office with the intention of finding the school teacher and to nick out some newspaper.
Kaoru woke up after an hour to find Haru burying her head inside today's newspaper. "What's the time now?" She asked, stifling a yawn.

"10.30." Came the answer. "I've endured two hours of boredom."

"Good for you." Kaoru stood up and stretched. "We've got another three hour and a half before school's out."

"ARGH!" Haru slammed the paper down and smacked her head. "I hate this! Teacher won't let me go home and told me to read PQS! Doesn't she know how boring the book is?! I hate this!"

"You asked her?" Kaoru sounded amused.

"Course I do!" Haru death-glared her twin who merely stare emptily back.

"If I know today won't be any lesson, I wouldn't even come." Haru said softly and curled herself into a ball on the couch.

"Didn't Dayang-sensei told us that Rohaida-sensei wanted to tell us something about the PQS exam tomorrow?"

"Dayang-sensei lied." Came the soft yet angry reply. "I've asked Rohaida-sensei, and she said she doesn't have anything to tell us."

Kaoru merely walked over towards where her twin was and sat on the floor with her back leaning on the wall. We were lured to come to school, she frowned. "How cunning."

"How mean." Haru said. And then she went silent.

Kaoru stood up and left her twin to sleep. "Better than have her dying out of boredom." She muttered softly, picked the newspaper up and went to the school office to return it back.

p/s: Yeah, today was a hell day at school. Actually, there was Mrs. Chan's Add Math class at 2 pm, but I left because my precious time was wasted at school.

What were the teachers thinking? Great for them to waste my time as if mine's like shit?! Hell, this is the time when I truly hate being at school!

I so wanna skip school tomorrow! To hell with the PQS exam!

Tomorrow's the last day of school before the Aidil Fitri holiday. [A whole week of school-free! Woo hoo!] On second thought, maybe I should just endure it for the time being.

------

"How's life, dear?"

"Don't ask."

------

p/s 2: This is the current state of my Maple characters.

"You Don't Have to Pretend, Simply Do What You Can."

Today has been a very quiet day. I rarely spoke, something which is very very rare. I have been doing this for the past two weeks though I am not sure of the reason.

And today has been a very unmerciful day. Though nothing annoying happened, I felt so not at rest. It's like, I'm having an inner storm inside. And to make things even more complex, I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

Usually I know what's wrong. Now that I didn't know, I just don't know what to do.

I've read the Quran. Two whole juzu', but I still can't find my inner peace. That's a sure sign I didn't understand one bit of what I've read. This is useless.

Perhaps it's because I'll be sitting for my Physics SPM Trial tomorrow?

Nope. I never fret over exam. I think. I don't think my inner turmoil is because of tomorrow's exam.

Perhaps it's because Ramadhan will be over in about a week?

I suppose. I haven't been pleased with the amount of ibadat I have been doing. Sure, I qiamullail everyday, but I don't know. I haven't had enough of Ramadhan. Not even sure I'll be alive for the next one.

Perhaps it's because Aidil Fitri is just around the corner?

Perhaps. I've bought my Raya clothing, yeah. I even got a new pair of sandals to replace my broken ones (I'll post the beauty next! Haven't got any camera around.) And also a new socks to pair them with. Now the family's planning on going back to the village. I'm not sure whether I'll be going back or not.

I want to; I haven't been back for almost a year. But mom kept saying, if I go, they'll have to bring two cars for the ride and she will have to drive. And then dad said about her being exhausted and the like.

I'm pretty much bored (perhaps a little annoyed). By their sayings, it's as if two cars will be a burden. I had enough, so I just said, "I won't be going. I'll stay at home."

"Is it because of tuition?" Mom said.

I've got tuition on the 19th and 20th October, and by that time, the family is still at the village. I don't want to miss tuition because I can't really study at home. So I gave her a glance and a curt nod.

"Tuition is not that important." Dad added and I rudely interrupted.

"Teacher said he'll be focusing on the subjects crucial for SPM. Maybe it's not important to you." I said tonelessly. "Besides, if I go, you'll have to drive." I glanced at mom. "And you'll be tired. Best if I stay at home."

"Alone?" Dad said.

"Yes."

"No you can't. Someone has to stay with you." And he added something else, in which I sort of ignore. I'm getting ruder by the day.

My decision is final. So I won't be going. And someone's staying with me. I don't know who, I don't care. I can stay alone for all I care.

Man, I am getting ruder by the day.

Perhaps it's because SPM is just four weeks from now?

I never fret over exam. I think. Don't get me fretting; the world'll be in chaos if I do. Lol, like the world isn't now.

Perhaps it's because of the problems at school?

Now you're reminding me. Since the start of Trial, I haven't been able to talk to any of the other students concerning the state of school now. I pretty much kept to myself the whole time.

I did ask a student of any arising problem the other day. She started to talk, but then asked me something else, "Don't you have exam now?"

"Sure." I nodded. "But that's not stopping me from my duty as Head Girl."

I'm Vice Head actually. Since the Head's a boy, that makes me Head Girl.

She nodded then. After a minute of talking, we were interrupted for I was needed elsewhere. Fate must be laughing at the amount of stress I'm having right now.

Having written all this, I suppose my inner turmoil is because of my being stressed. Duh, typical me.

p/s: HaruMitsui is leveled 38 now.

And meet KaoruMitsui, leveled 12 warrior, created a few days back. I'm a juggler of study, life and game. Haha.

I made a new friend today. descent2001, leveled 33 Spearman. He's actually a 24-year-old Chinese from Selangor named Terrence.

When I told him I'm a Malay, he went, "Wow. You're the first Malay friend I have in Maple." And truth be told, all my Maple friends are Chinese, except for three other Malay.