Serendipity has left me

As mentioned in the previous post, we had a day-trip to Alex yesterday. Instead of taking a microbus back, we stowed away on the 5pm train to make it back in Cairo by dusk. We already missed Saturday's impromptu class so we didn't want to miss Sunday.

And this morning, we just received the news that class was cancelled for today, tomorrow, and day after. At that news, I simply went flat and spineless. My day seemed bleak. I hate ironies.

But the reason class be cancelled must be because sir was super extra busy. So I should get up and celebrate today's extra-business by being super extra productive...

I need to grow some spine.

---

I don't want to go back to Malaysia yet. Or at all. But going back is to honour my family's love for me, so I must. I bought the tickets way earlier was to ensure mom that I really am coming back.

Guys, see how much I love you here? If anyone dares complain I'm not doing enough I will smack their heads.

A hypocrite in love

I skipped class today. Because I slept in at 6 plus because it was too early to shower. I know it was stupid and I would never wake up by 7 plus, but I slept in anyway. Woke up way too late for class.

Felt terrible, but maybe accustomed to it already. Today was a Thursday. Last class for the week. I think for every night I went out to the hospital, there will be difficulty the next morning.

As it was, we planned to go to Alex this weekend. Friend made appointment with the doc on Saturday. She messaged me just now and said "Sorry we're going to miss Dr. Hussein's class on Saturday."

"Miss Saturday's class?" Did she mean Sunday?

"He just mentioned there will be class on Saturday. But I've already bought the train tickets."

"It's okay. Proceed."

But I feel like crying. It's one thing to miss because of own stupid circumstances, it's another when you're made to miss.

---

It's less than a month to going back to Malaysia but I'm terribly missing him already. This is a twisted love confession of mine. Just saying without doing is not love. I'm terrible at this.

God, if it wasn't for the fact I've bought the international and domestic tickets, I'd plead mom to let me stay in Egypt a little longer.

When you greet people, it makes them happy and that makes you happier.

We went to celebrate Yana's birthday at Steak Out Mohandesin. Great place. Great food, reasonable price, friendly helpful staffs. I really enjoyed myself.

Then a group of people came in. One of them piqued my interest because he looked like Dr. Hazem Dewidar, the gentle doctor who taught us ENT. I will always remember him because he said in his class that he is happy to repeat however many times to us until we understand, but if he have to during the exam, he will be unhappy. Hehe. He patiently taught the class and that left a really huge impression on me.

He was also the first doctor who taught me how to palpate the lymph nodes of head and neck when it was me who clerked the case and he walked me through examining the patient.

ENT was two years ago, the last round we had when I was a fourth year 2011/2012.

"Guys, that's Dr. Hazem from ENT, right?"

The girls didn't concur. But I was really convinced, so I told the girls I would go and greet them properly if they were still present at the end of the night.

So, the ever paparazzi, I stealthily kept my eyes trained on that group all night. I was sitting in the middle facing the landing, thus a clear view of other patrons. The rest however weren't very subtle. The staffs noticed their gushing and gestured between us and that table of doctors "What is it? Somebody you guys know?"

He went outside a bit near our table halfway through our dinner to answer a call, and he smiled and nodded at me. I stood up respectfully and nodded back at him. I think he noticed we were somewhat observing them (or the staffs spilled the bean) and deduced we must had been in his class because we recognised him.

Night ended and we were leaving. Maisarah asked me if I was going to greet the doctors. I said I'll pass, we did nod to Dr. Hazem when he went to answer his call. But just as I stepped out of the restaurant, I had second thought.

"It is polite to greet properly, right?"

Maisarah nodded, so she and Sarah went along with me. I walked deliberately to their table and smiled with my posture facing the doctor I remembered. The whole table smiled back.

"Assalamualaikum, all of you sir are ENT doctors, right?"

The table nodded "Yes, yes," and smiled. I noticed our coordinator was also with them but I forgot his name... Is it Dr. Solah?

"We're sixth year students. Final students."

"Final?" Dr. Hazem asked.

"Yes," I smiled. "You taught us ENT two years ago. Thank you doctor for teaching us a lot." They grinned happily and nodded back as I nodded gratefully at them.

"Thank you Dr. Hazem." I addressed him confidently. And what do you know, his grin got wider and humbler. So I did remember correctly. Thank God.

We left with a "ma3assalamah" and the table buzzed. I left the restaurant feeling very happy and thanked Maisarah and Sarah for accompanying me.

"Thank you for reminding me to go greet them. If I didn't, I think I'll be very regretful."

"I know," Maisarah said. "You were really excited when you first saw the doctor."

I guess I was, haha. Our doctors are the real heroes and celebrities for me, may Allah always bless them and ease them in their responsibilities.

Silver ring on right middle finger

Yesterday I bought a new spectacles frame from a peddler cart. The colour looked nice so I picked it out. Then I noticed the handle had human pictures on it, the only one I recognised was Che Guevara.

Tacky, I thought. I put it aside and picked up another one.

The peddler came and took the one I put down. "This one is very good," he coaxed and hyperextended the handles. It didn't crack. "It's made of plastic so it won't break."

Damn we need those, Haru said. I remembered my thin metal-framed Ray Ban aviator that sustained a fracture the other day. I manually reduced it but the bent is still palpable. Despite always telling myself the damned thing costed LE450, I never fail to drop or squish it one way or another.

I paid LE20 for the revolutionary frame and went my merry way.

Umair said another person she picked out from the mass was Ali Shaarati, Iran revolutionist. She patted my back for my good taste.

Friends asked why I wear my ring where it is. I tell them it's because it's too big to fit my ring finger. Truth is I bought it to fit my middle finger and a silver, all that to mimic that dude. Haha.. 

From all three of us

This post is a dedication to my future self, in case I stumble off course, wake up with amnesia and forget what really matters to me. And since this is an important post, it underwent multiple rewrites. The backlight is hurting my eyes already. Let's just get to the main points.

1) I vow to priorities my parents and my siblings first. If it means I have to drop medicine, then be it.

Though at this point, it would help a lot if I have to drop medicine after I gain my medical officer licence. Hehe.

2) I am not an obedient daughter, but if my parents ask from me, I will do it. They know. I grew up grumbling a lot at being asked to do this and that but I still do it.

Because they're my parents and I love and respect them for that simple fact. I owe them more than they ever owe me.

3) I take pride in being able to find enjoyment in the smallest thing.

So don't worry even if I end up unable to pursue the career of my dream, the lifestyle I want, the two boys I want to paint. I am sure I will still live a proud and happy life.

---

The reality is that I barely stay in touch. I suck at calling and living so far away, I missed out on many occasions. I lost track what my siblings are up to, what my sis/bros are doing apart from their FB statuses, how many kids my cousins have, who's married to who, how are the uncles and great uncles doing, and more.

The reality is I go home once a year feeling like a hypocrite pretending to care.

The reality is I failed at my long distance relationships and I am avoiding them. I never want to go back to that town and face my failures.

Despite the harsh realities, I have a lot of love in me.

Yours,
Atiqah, Haru and Alex

Although I am quite the idiot now, I was a bigger idiot then

At any point of your life, you're going to screw up. However humiliating it is, I usually don't want to forget my screw-ups. Like recently I got an answer wrong in the dean's class and he grinned while (jokingly) saying "a medical student would know this." It was a direct blow to whatever pride I have as a medical student, I could only grin back at him in defeat.

Mistakes are good if you learn from them. That's why I'd rather not forget.

Except everything about INTEC. When I think about it, that was the most unguided phase of my life, it goes beyond "mistakes". It overrode all the stupidity I was as an elementary school kid.

This is the last time I mention that place. I'm wiping all drafts and memory I have.

This might be out of nowhere, but when you can't sleep all your demons come to play

I hope whatever she do she will remember Allah and His right as God to be worshipped and our obligations as His servant. For all His mercy and love, we should pay our due.

I hope she always keep with her that we are our parents' lifeline. They raised us well and I hope we pay our due out of love for them.

I hope her heart remains soft and she becomes closer to Allah.

But really, I hope she finds a good practicing Muslim who fears Allah and they get married soon.

---

Because there are times I couldn't device a protocol for what to effectively do in some circumstances, and all I can foresee is me crying out of frustration. I love you kid, and I love our parents, so please let us be good daughters.

Report Raya untuk Kak Junaidah

P/s: Gambar bukrah baa.

1 Syawal 1435, Isnin 28 Julai

2am
Jahit kaki jubah.
Nyanyi lagu Raya. "Lagu ni sedih tapi suara kita lagi menyedihkan," komen Syitaro adik Adakun.

3.30am
Solat Subuh.

4am
Call rumah nak ucap Selamat Hari Raya, diorang tengah bersiap nak amik gambar tahunan. Along suruh on Hangout dia nak amik gambar sekali.

5am
Breakfast mee goreng lebihan iftar semalam.
Solat Aidilfitri di Masjid Ibrahim. Khutbah imam pesan birrul walidain.
Jahitan tertetas. Jahit kaki jubah sekali lagi.

8am
Naik teksi pergi Beit Falah di Sabie. Makan lodeh dan kuah kacang tersedap abad ini.
Bagi tazkirah tajuk Pengurusan Perasaan dan Amalan Sunat di 1 Syawal.
Jahitan tertetas lagi. Malas aku nak jahit banyak kali, nasib la.

10am
Beraya di majlis kedutaan di Asyir. Makan char kuey teow, sate, kek gula hangus, bahulu. Secebis lemang dan secebis rendang daging.

12pm
Beraya di rumah Ummu Qays di Tabba. Nasi putih lauk ayam gulai lemak dan terung dan zucchini goreng sambal.

2pm
Balik Falah solat Zohor. Tidur 3-5pm. Tak tidur lagi dari semalam, haha.

6pm
Balik rumah.
Makan lodeh dan kuah kacang tapau dari Falah.

9pm
Aimi Asrina datang rumah nak amik barang. Bagi tazkirah tajuk Fokus Demi Kehidupan yang Cemerlang.

"Masa cuti main puas2. Better pergi panjat gunung or kahwin daripada buat attachment. Tahun klinikal proaktif dalam kelas, jangan malas amik history, exam patient. Pastu nak komplen clinical skill di Mesir kurang, padahal sendiri malas. HO nanti tagging betul2."

10pm
"Oh Tuhan, aku membebel di hari terakhir sebagai budak 23 tahun."

---

2 Syawal 1435, Selasa 29 Julai

Hai, selamat hari jadi. Tahun ni berazam untuk tidak kebudak-budakan dengan tidak memakan makanan panas sampai lidah melecur.

Bukak FB nampak Mohamed Zeyara post. "Stay sincere, you can never tell when your time is coming."

Okay dua ni moto hidup tahun ni.

11am
Naik teksi pergi ARMA. Jem dekat Salah Salem sebab raya kedua Arab ziarah kubur ramai2.

11.45am
Tiba di majlis raya PERUBATAN (MESRA). Makan secebis nasi impit kuah kacang dan biskut2 raya yang sedap.

Tak habis makan geng panggil naik coaster. Kami 23 ketul nak gi beraya satu batch yay! Sumbat lebihan makanan dalam plastik pastu lari naik coaster.

Rahim tak masuk2. 

"Kalau camni meh nak masuk ARMA semula nak makan kuih raya."

"Tak payah nanti satu kerja pulak nak cari enti," Roy tak bagi.

"Tapi ana nak biskut sedap!"

Wani hulur biskut yang dia tapau. "Aku sayang kau Waniii!"

"Macam budak kecik, nak berjalan kena sediakan snack," Roy walaupun badannya kecik tapi dia matang. Hulur sebiji biskut pada Roy dan tunduk makan.

"Selamat hari jadi~ selamat hari jadi~" Tetiba coaster nyanyi. Jap birthday sape lagi harini? Tunduk teruskan mengunyah.

"Selamat hari jadi Hana~" Okay dah boleh angkat muka. Bawa keluar henset.

"Selamat ha~ri jadi~"

"Terima kasih semua. Nyanyi skali lagi aku nak rakam."

Diorang suruh bagi ucapan. Okay skema mode.

12.20pm
Coaster bergerak.

Roy bagi tazkirah pasal syurga dan neraka, pasal sebab kita beribadah.

"Ada orang beribadah sebab takutkan neraka, so dia ni jadi sebenar-benar hamba yang takutkan tuannya. Ada yang beribadah sebab nakkan ganjaran.

Para nabi dan salafussoleh beribadah sebagai orang yang bebas. Mereka beribadah sebab ni memang hak Allah sebagai Tuhan yang layak disembah."

Okay tiga poin untuk moto hidup tahun ni. Thank you Roy.

1pm
Sampai 37 Road 104 Maadi. Salam dengan Dr. Heba dan nenek dan sengih dekat atuk.
Makan om ali, mahallabiyyah dan ruz billaban Dr. Heba buat. Ruz billaban lagi sedap daripada kedai mahallabiyyah Syarie Mawardy tu! Serius!

2pm
Pergi rumah bos JPA di Mohandesin!
Ustaz Zikril jamu. "Jemput la makan, ada laksam-"

"Laksam??!!" Serbu.

Rahim pandang penuh takjub. "Hana kau tak kenyang lagi ke rumah Dr. Heba?"

"Please aku dah lama mengidam laksam."

Seterusnya ratah sup tulang paling sedap abad ni. Sedap gila, mashaAllah sedap gilak. Sup dia sangat clear dan suci dari elemen keladak dan sebagainya. Serius sedap.

Pak Ku duta kami sampai. Ustaz Zikril dan Kak Ita pergi sambut mereka bersama Wafi yang dari tadi pegang seluar abah dia.

Saya umumkan kepada kawan sebelah. "Pak Ku sampai."
Pak Ku dukung Wafi. "Pak Ku tangkap Wafi."
Wafi mengeliatkan badan ingin bebas dari pelukan Pak Ku. Apa ini budak. "Wafi meronta-ronta."

Wafi sambung pegang seluar abah dia.

4.30pm
Balik rumah.
Nak makan kek tapi panas dan malas.

---

3 Syawal 1435, Rabu 30 Julai
Duduk rumah dan plan masa hadapan.
Nak kek.
Dah 24 harap boleh bertenang.

---

4 Syawal 1435, Khamis 31 Julai
Pukul 6am baru berjaya tidur. Terlepas Raya PKS di Hadiqah Asyir depan Masjid Nuri.

Nak kek! Hana, nak kek!

---

5 Syawal 1435, Jumaat 1 Ogos

Puasa hari pertama.
Iftar di Coffeeshop Company Maadi order Molten Chocolate Cake dan Iced Latte sebab ada budak meroyan. Dah 24 ingatkan boleh je tahan tak makan kek, rupanya masih lagi a sentimental idiot. Celebra sendiri di tempat sama celebrate birthday Sashi-kun hehe.

Happy belated birthday, idiot.

Pengajaran hari ini adalah. Hidup kena bermaruah. Walau di tahap mana kehidupan pun, semiskin mana pun, maruah kena sentiasa dipelihara.

Baru sedar tak makan rendang lagi (raya first secebis je tak kira). Atau tart nenas. Adeh gilak sedih.
Meracau dekat WhatsApp family nak rendang daging mama!

---

6 Syawal 1435, Sabtu 2 Ogos

Raya IKRAM di Dewan Masjid Tantawi.
Ikhwah masak nasi tomato ayam masak merah dan biskut kacang dan cornflakes madu. Hebat juga budak2 ni.

Pak Ku dan pegawai2 kedutaan datang, Tuan Ishak pun ada. Pak Ku bagi pengisian tajuk Penyaksian Kebenaran ;)

Meriah :D

---

7 Syawal 1435, Ahad 3 Ogos

Puasa hari kedua.
Kelas Dr. Hussein resume kembali, beliau dengan gigihnya mengajar 8-10am. Sementara itu ada seketul mangkuk tu pukul 5 baru tidur bangun pukul 10. 

Cemerlang! Gemilang! Pergi mati.

Merewang untuk open house di Raqaiq esok. 

Angkut sayur 10kg termasuk kobis besar gergasi yang dipeluk dari Mounira ke Sayyeda Zeinab.
Gilak berat, entah kenapa kedekut duit teksi. Dalam kepala duk ulang "exercise, exercise."

Isu ini membuktikan saya seorang perempuan, tak katang macam lelaki. Sampai Raqaiq je flat.

Lagu harini adalah Satu Pagi di Hari Raya. Nyanyi sepanjang potong sayur halus2 demi nasi kerabu sejati.

---

8 Syawal 1435, Isnin 4 Ogos

Nak pergi kelas Dr. Hussein tapi tertidur. Saya dah bosan dengan diri sendiri tapi DILARANG GIVE UP.

Open house kami Iradah Qawiyah di Raqaiq rumah Roy. Jamu nasi kerabu, roti jala kuah kari, souffle Palestin Adakun, kekcis Nisa.

---

Kesimpulannya duit raya tahun ni adalah RM450 gambar-sahaja dan abang-hot-topless-pegang-wombat oleh Kak Jun.

Semalam 25 Syawal 1435, Khamis 21 Ogos Umair sampai Mesir membawa rendang mama buat, tart nenas Amway dan rendang Sir Man and Ustazah Nafisah buat. Semalam petang jumpa Nadhrah beliau bagi tart nenas.

Rendang daging dapat, tart nenas dapat. Saya juga dah habis puasa ganti maka boleh la meninggal dengan aman. I think.

Terharu siot mama buat surprise. Beliau busy tapi masih layan budak 24 tahun ni. Terima kasih Allah, mohon Kau panjangkan usia kami untuk dipertemukan lagi.

Terharu juga Sir Man dan Ustazah Nafisah dan Umeme sudi masakkan rendang meski mak saya kirimkan rendang juga. Terima kasih sir sekeluarga.

"Drama gila padahal nak gi hospital je pun."

Semalam pergi hospital dengan geng. Kitorang belima, me Ume Paiten Chip dan Amirul. Sementara tunggu Amirul Chip sampai, kitorang tunggu luar bngunan. Masa tu dah 8.45pm.

Amirul and Chip sampai. Okay let's go. Seperti biasa budak ada Napolean complex ni jalan depan sekali. Maaf la selalu lupa mushrif kena jalan depan or belakang or tepi. Kalau jalan ngan Bapis dia selalu jalan belakang sebab mushrif kena nampak akhawat tu kat mana.

Me Ume Paiten lintas jalan kat Baghl. Pusing belakang jap sebab rasa macam dah jauh sangat dari Chip and Amirul and nampak diorang berdua berhenti jap borak ngan Arab yang macam frenly.

Jiran ke? Jalan je la.

Kitorang jalan sampai la lintas Jalan Kasr el Ainy. Tunggu mushrif dua tu tapi tak nampak bayang pun. Peliknya. Diorang dua tu ikhwah reliable takkan la diorang jauh sangat dari akhawat, Amirul siap dapat title mushrif agung lagi.

Tetiba henset Ume berdering. Chip kol. Muka Ume berkerut. Ume letak call lepas habis cakap.

"Chip kata diorang kena harass. Diorang tengah ikut lorong2 kecik nak bagi hilang Arab tu. Diorang suruh kita jalan dulu jumpa kat hospital."

"Huh? Tadi nampak Arab salam ngan diorang."

Kitorang pun jalan. Lintas Kurnish Nil dan tetiba Amirul dan Chip ada kat belakang. Ape lagi.

"Citer cepat camne Arab tu harass dia buat ape?" Excited lak budak ni. Kawan baru kena harass kot.

Chip and Amirul pun cerita. Diorang kata Arab tu dah memang target kitorang tiga anak perempuan ni and Amirul perasan Arab tu duk perhati kitorang masa diorang sampai kat bawah rumah saya tadi. Arab tu borak and bila Chip kata dia nak gi hospital, Arab tu ajak nak gi sekali.

"So ape harassnya?"

"Diorang tak pro. Kitorang perasan ada sorang naik motor ikut dari belakang. Nanti diorang dapat bawa kitorang ke tempat terpencil, nanti dia kebas la ape barang ada."

"Oh ok." Budak ni AJK Teknikal bak kata Ume so soalan seterusnya, "Jadi apa pengajaran malam ni?"

"Pengajarannya jalan malam kena ada mushrif," Chip bilang. Diorang berdua lelaki pun sambung jalan depan kitorang.

"Apa korang nak buat kalau masa tu takde mushrif?" Amirul tanya.

"Aku jerit kuat-kuat," Ume cakap.

Saya ada pisau tapi tak baik la tikam orang. "Aku masuk kedai kot. Tunggu sampai la Arab jahat tu blah," saya cakap.

"Bagus, tak pun singgah ahwah order," Chip kata.

"And aku akan bagitau pakcik tu ada Arab ikut aku. Aku lagi caya pakcik kedai," saya sambung.

"Eh tak payah la bagitahu."

"Kena la mana tahu pakcik tu boleh nasihat or buat something kalau tak nanti dia beredar cari mangsa lain."

"Bagus la dia cari mangsa lain," Chip gelak. Saya berkerut. Masalah tak setel. Sebenarnya bajet macam pakcik tu boleh nasihat Arab jahat suoaya jangan buat jahat or tangkap diorang. Haha. Naif sangat ye saya?

"Oh mane tahu pakcik tu kenal Arab tu ke," Amirul cakap dekat Chip dan mereka berdua pun jalan depan dan borak dua orang.

Saya paling ke Ume.

"Aku rasa pengajarannya adalah sentiasa peka persekitaran dan bersedia untuk apa2 kemungkinan. Kalau dalam cerita spy, diorang sentiasa tahu ada berapa orang di sekitar diorang dan mana escape route. Dekat mana2 samada jalanan atau kedai."

Ume angguk.

"Respon kita samada fight or flight. Berapa orang sekitar sebab nak tengok berapa orang kita kena fight kalau perlu. Escape route supaya tahu nak lari mana.

Aku rasa Chip kata pengajarannya jangan jalan takde mushrif sebab kita perempuan and dia tak nak ape2 jadi, tapi apa aku kata tadi sebab kita kena sendiri tahu apa nak buat. Kalau kita lelaki, mungkin Chip bagitahu pengajaran yang sama (pasal fight or flight)."

Okay dah masuk hospital.

Best thing about blackouts is you get stuck in the elevator

Class ended and I reached the apartment's elevator at 10.32. "Blackout at 11," I assured myself it was safe and entered.

Then it blacked out at 10.35.

I grumbled at the too early blackout. Got my handphone's assistive light on and assessed. Everything was in place and I wasn't claustrophobic, but I was already swesting. I was stuck at the planked out door of second floor so I can't just push the door and get out.

Hit the emergency bell, nothing. Banged the wood for attention. There was no reception in the elevator so I can't call my housemates for help.

I heard one of the landlord's kids yelling "Is someone in the elevator?"

"Yeah!" I yelled back.

"Okay hold on." He went to fetch his dad.

Landlord asked if I was okay, if there was any problem. I was good. I had a liter of water, tissues and light with me. I can survive an hour. But my room is better than this cramped too-hot place.

I wondered how were they going to get me out. Do they unscrew the top like in the movies? Do I have to crawl out? I put my groceries inside my backpack just in case.

And then I felt the elevator slowly rise upwards. They must have manually pull the elevator up. Landlord was waiting for me at the opened third floor door with an emergency light. He yelled for his kids to stop pulling the elevator up.

"Sorry for the blackout."

"No problem." I stepped out of the elevator at 10.45. Their messed up circumstances are such an embarrassment that a regular citizen had to apologize for the military screw-ups. "Thank you for getting me out. Thank you a lot."

I took my leave, saying thanks until he was out of sight. Took the stairs up to the seventh floor, saying my gratitude to his wife and the four little soldiers I passed on my way. Thank you guys, syukran jazilan, kattar kheirkum.

And thank you Sissy for the typical expectedly-unexpected of Egypt and Tahya Masr!

Nice hair

It was our first time meeting each other, but I knew I like him already. We had a good relationship, I didn't hog him to myself nor keep pestering him. Just try to sit within his field of vision and behave. I take pride in that, though I won't deny I missed out because of that. But it was lucky of me that he came and approached me several times, picking up where we left our conversation off.

He was busy when I had to go. Took one glance at him playing the guitar and then I left. Walked out of the venue, unsure whether we will meet again and time for me to confess properly. But it was time to go, so I left.

If I can do it all over again, I hope I will tell him I'm going. I won't go without at least saying thanks for the good times I had. I will tell him I hope we meet again.

Or maybe just a note to his many PAs. With my email, hehe.

Moments to capture

I'm more a reporter (nowadays editorial inclined) than I am a photographer, but after working one year in BPP and having to deal with my news got published late because the photographer was late with the accompanying picture, I had to take up some basic photography. Just the simple rule of thirds and whatsit.

But the most important thing to photography that I learn is to capture the moment. That is why we must know of the tentatives and any VIPs in advanced.

For a noob photographer to worry about lighting and whatsit it might be too advanced for me, I can only operate the most basic of Photoshop. But to this day, this is the most basic thing I keep with me.

He's like this so I really must do my best, break time is over

He started his class around 8.30 and discussed complications of peptic ulcer while ending incessant calls. We finished the comparison table at 9.30 and upon stressing its convenience and importance, said we will continue class until five past ten. He then gave us a break to call back some few important people.

A colleague ask for help and I've to go see a patient, he said. Wait for me twenty minutes and I'll be back by five past ten.

He grinned, grabbed his cup of coffee brought dutifully by Mr. Samy and ran off.

This guy so busy yet still have time for us. God bless our beloved dean and He ease him in his every responsibilities. 

Once in a while I do my part as a reader and write good reviews, too

Regarding the latest chapter (72) of Hirunaka no Ryuusei:

GOOD WORK SUZUME, GOOD WORK!!

\(^v^)/

"You were excellent, the most excellent I had. Alhamdulillah 3alas salamah, mabruk alaiki."

I have two physical weaknesses whereby if you put me in this situations, I will get scared and cry like a baby. I'm not kidding.

First and foremost is dentistry. The yearly visit is so scary I always nearly wet myself... They use pointy metals and drills inside the mouth of an awake human, how vulnerable is that! And I always meet socially-retard dentists who don't even bother to call me by my name or make me feel more humane after their inhumane treatment. It's always me having to console myself during the session that "Dentists are nice. Along, Dr. Burhan, Timah are dentists. This is the hospital, the dentists are well-trained, they are nice, they're not out to get you. This is good for you."

But I have to be brave and see them yearly because this is good for me. Argh.

Second is people coming near my eyes. I couldn't even tolerate eyedrops, let alone anything more invasive.

Today has been one hell of a fight. On the table it finally dawned on me that this is not like getting a new glasses. For the first time in my life I wished someone will hold my hand. And I apologized incessantly to my doctor and his assistant because reflex made me disobey. Kept telling myself "you're brave, so brave, we'll get through this, this is nothing, Final Destination is fiction, you have Allah and you're in good hands, be brave, be very brave."

I think I troubled my doctor too much. As a doctor-to-be I know the importance of listening to your doctor and being compliant and all. Huhu, sorry, so sorry I couldn't control myself. And just as the doctor told me to interlock my fingers, Haru added "You don't want keratitis."

Shit that thing is way more painful!! And with that I clenched my hands tighter and repeated today's mantra.

"Don't put your hands on your eyes." Doc said patiently for the thousandth time.

"Okay. Sorry. Don't put your hands on your eyes." I parroted today's mantra. And repeated that line even after I got out.

The eyedrops today should be administered hourly. It was then a very epic struggling drama.

The title is what the doctor said to me. I bet he had to say that to all his paediatric patients (kah3) but I appreciate it very much. Thank you Dr. Emad.

Your mah lady, aaahh, ahhh hah

Yesterday we went for lunch at Chili's Maadi to take advantage of the 50% off for ladies 12-2pm. Ordered a medium-done classic sirloin and it was good. I would have preferred it slightly more undercooked though.

The atmosphere was a win for me. Bandar Mall was located in the middle of a complex of apartments and it made looking out of the window very homey. I'd like to live in this sort of place.

Then we went off to ice-skate at Maadi Family Land, a complex of family-friendly activities which was LE10 taxi away from there. Family Land is near to where Dr. Heba lives. We went to the Ice Planet passing through an arcade which had racing games and basketball shooting games and I was like, man I need to come here again.

So about Ice Planet. We paid LE50 each and my aim was to be able to fly across the rink by the end of one hour. The first 15 minutes saw me trying to get the hang of skating and falling down twice amidst the loud music barring disco scene. The ice was stubbly like that of a tarred road and I still have the lacerations and bruises now.

Soon I got the hang of it and was skating in the middle of the rink, when suddenly the music changed to Phil's Happy. My hand automatically went clapping and I almost lost my balance. Hahaha.

The next songs were even more hyper-inducing and I was skating like a crippled monkey across the rink. They played Wrecking Ball (I flew forward everytime Miley crooned "came in like a wre~cking ball" and then stumbled) and Eminem's Lose Yourself (man I miss this song).

My time was up, so I went out and had a drink while watching my friends play. Florida's Low ft T-pain came out and the manager turned off the light and flashed out the disco light. Bwahaha you should have seen the look on my thiqoh friends' faces who were still on the rink.

I was enjoying myself too much. The song up next was BEP's Boom Boom Pow! My friends started to give me the glare from me knowing the names of all those songs, hahah.

I went home and downloaded CNBLUE Zepp Tour live in Tokyo 2013.

Questions to ask

1- Why this
2- Why now why not then
3- Why me
4- What do you think of the guitar

I'm supposed to do case write-up

Benda best pergi hospital dengan budak kelas lain adalah boleh compare ape yang different doctor ajar. Budak G2G terror Arab maka harini dapat la 5 vocab baru yang sepatutnya bukan baru (AtiqOh noob). Dan geng ni budak bijak banyak ilmu dapat dari dia.

"...and arterial wall is felt. Aku boleh rasa! Pak cik ni atherosclerotic." Muka bangga.

"Okay aku boleh caya kau kata camtu. Tu dia ada arcus senilis." Geng tunjuk dekat mata patient.

"Arcus what?"

"Arcus senilis. One of sign hyperlipidemia. Tu keliling mata dia."

"Keliling mata dia ada ape?" Tengok muka patient, pakcik sengih balik. Skin tag ke? Takde skin tag pun. "Aku serius dah lupa Ophthal." The only thing I remember of Ophthal is Dr. Om*r Barada keh3.

"Tu rim putih tu." Geng muka incredulous. Mungkin dia sedang pertikaikan betul ke minah ni budak medik.

Benda takbest adalah kena tibai sebab malas double check ape doc ajar dengan buku teks "Buku teks tak mention pun. Kau ni study buku teks tak?"

dan bila tak ingat sheet Surgery "Kau bukan baru habis Surgery ke? Aku ye la dah tinggal lama."

Kau tengok la aku study Batnah pasni aku tibai kau balik. Eh salah niat.

A good day for observing

Walked out of lecture hall towards Dept 29 and saw Dr. Ahmed Hassan the HO who taught us skill lab. Then I noticed that lady Radiologist was hitting on Dr. Hussein (they were three meters apart and I overheard her asking if he was okay) but as usual he totally ignored her and focused on his phone. I giggled quietly. Partly amused at her persistence and partly feeling sorry for her.

She walked, keeping an eye on him while he turned around to face us students.

"Cases in Dept 29," he told me.

"Okay."

She looked on with a dissatisfied look before marching forward towards Dept 29.

Saw our bubbly Tropical resident walking in front of Hall B, the guy with an impressive command of Malay language. What was his name again? Syaimaa called him Dr. Perky. Greeted him with a salam. He smiled and greeted back.

I suspect he is Dr. Tariq Kaddah our anaesthetist nice guy's son. He mentioned he has one son resident Orthopedic, another resident Tropical and his youngest if I remember correctly is in second year Kasr el Ainy.

Arrived in Dept 29. Saw Dr. Mohamed Rafeeq our humblest assistant lecturer of vascular surgery following a grand round with an unfamiliar professor. Updated FB to inform Ara and Humaici of it, they were fangirls. Thought of tagging Tasnim in the status as well but she might kill me for it.

And then I realized Dr. Mohamed Ali was in the crowd as well.

Cases today were traumatic AV fistula behind the parotid gland and another traumatic AV fistula of the popliteal.

Class dismissed. I handed the dean the formal letter to request for his speech for our yearbook. He stood and listened to me with a tired face, saying not a word. I felt really awkward, guilty of taking half a minute of his and flabbergasted.  Urgh.

Poor him. It was only 11am and he was already that spent. If Dijah was there instead of me, he might be cheered up. I just hope he felt our love from that request letter. Oh crap, I think I edited that part out to make it more formal. Huhu. We love you Dr. Hussein, be happy and do your best!

Dear Lord, please strengthen him. Send him all ease and strength and love. Ameen.

Exited the ward. In the hallway I walked behind this dad holding onto his toddler's hand. A resident kid teyoyish, I sniggered to myself how short the boy was that it made me want to bully him. Such a cute boy to hold on to daddy's hand... Wait, what's that on daddy's hand?

IT'S AN EXTRA FINGER!! So tiny! Like an okra! It looked like it can be picked out! Crazy paparazzi mode on!! I took out my handphone, set the camera on zoom and snapped snapped snapped.

Walked out of the hospital on the tarred road. Already passed Psychiatry building when I saw a familiar cut of hair coming from the opposite direction. I changed my course to walk on the pavement to pass by him.

Yep. It was Dr. Abo Bakr the Ortho Don just off talking on the phone.

And outside the main gate, Dr. Essam El-Kousy walking while talking on the phone... but what's up with his Einstein-like hair? When he gave our general surgery lecture in the evening, it was always perfectly coiffed.

Too busy for hair-gel maybe. Allah ease you sir. Ameen.

Maybe it's common for foreigners to be assaulted nowadays

Friday evening, just after arriving back to my place with a backpack and a bag of groceries, I realised I left my tote bag with my shirts at the grocer. Argh. I went out ten minutes to breakfasting time and speed-walked to the grocery at the edge of Mounira to get it back. I brought only my keys with me.

Hurry, hurry, oh I wish I have a bicycle, hurry, why la already 24 still be this careless, turn into the corner by park, two guys were standing chatting, walked pass them, a group of teenagers guffing in front of the mosque, walked pass another guy...

Bam. It hurts!

A flood of thoughts gushed through me as I turned around from my left, clutching my aching left renal angle. It felt like a baseball just hit me. I heard the group of teenagers snickering. Don't tell me the guys behind me were playing catch with them disregarding the fact I was walking through.

I saw a rock the size of my fist rolling away and my frown deepened as the pain turned throbbing. God this is going to bruise bad. The two guys I passed simply glanced at me as if it was normal to see a girl got hit by a rock out of nowhere. Who the- God this really hurts. Somebody just threw a rock at me. I did nothing wrong, I was just passing through this street! And I passed through this same street when I got home from the grocer earlier!

My eyes went straight to a row of cars by the park. Somehow I felt like the person who threw the rock at me was hiding behind it, but I saw no one. The guy behind me was looking there, too. "Someone crazy.." He said. His English was broken, but I caught on.

What should I do? If it was a crazy person, I cannot blame him nor kick his ass. If it was a non-crazy person, I don't want to risk not winning against him. And it hurts, I want my bag and I want to lay down.

This is pointless. An eye for an eye makes the world blind. I was fasting, few minutes to Maghrib even, I cannot lose my temper. I walked away speedily, face contorted in pain and bottling anger, still clutching my renal angle. God the bruise. Should I worry about my kidney?

And those teenagers were still looking amused. Nobody bothered to ask whether I was okay or went to restrain the thrower. Maybe because I could still stand straight, I wasn't profusely bleeding, my face was contorted in pain and bottling anger instead of crying like a Sisi. And violence is so common nowadays for them, if it wasn't me hit by that rock, it could have been one of them. Regardless the fact I am a female and they were all guys, I'm just a foreigner, alone even, doesn't deserve further attention.

A community of trash. No Hana don't be a sweeping-generalizer, we still love our Egyptian professors. I turned the corner to reach the grocery. Tahya Masr my ass. Poor Mother Egypt, poor Mother Egypt.

I went to retrieve my bag. The Egyptian shopkeeper smiled at me, I smiled back. And took the other route home.

P/s: Paravertebral muscle is bruised, still tender. Can't lay on my back without feeling mild tenderness. Pulse is normal. Talked the drama kid out of going for a radioisotope kidney scan, lulz. Let's thank God and Raya food for perinephric fat.

Diari Ramadan AtiqOh

Tarawih at Masjid Ibrahim, Mounira

29 June, Sunday 1st Ramadan

On cook duty, made iftar/sahur of chicken-something-I-forgot
Iftar with the landlord of traditional Egyptian chicken and beef with rice with vermicelli and tomato gravy with peas and servings of date-infused drink. Beit Solehah made anchovy and carrot fritters and I went crazy.

Tarawih alone at Muntalaq because I was too stuffed I couldn't move.

30 June, Monday 2nd Ramadan
Atiqah Jr. cooked iftar

Tarawih at Masjid Ibrahim, Mounira

1 July, Tuesday 3rd Ramadan
Tasnim cooked iftar

Tarawih at Masjid Hidayah, Mounira

2 July, Wednesday 4th Ramadan
Jiha cooked iftar

Tarawih with Atiqah at Muntalaq

3 July, Thursday 5th Ramadan
Adakun cooked iftar

Tarawih at Masjid Sayeda Zeinab

4 July, Friday 6th
Jiha cooked iftar

Tarawih at ?

5 July, Saturday 7th

Tarawih at Masjid Nabihah, Mounira

6 July, Sunday 8th My turn on cook duty, made crispy fried chicken with something vegetables. First day of physiological derangement so I was cooking while doubling over in pain.
Housemates iftared at the landlord serving mahsyi.

7 July, Monday 9th

8 July, Tuesday 10th

9 July, Wednesday 11th

10 July, Thursday 12th

11 July, Friday 13th

12 July, Saturday 14th Iftar and tarawih with batch

13 July, Sunday 15th Iftar at Taman Suria, Pait made crispy fried chicken.
Project Feed Mama Syak commenced. Umair and I made chicken-and-veggie stuffed spring-rolls-turned-samosa with homemade peanut sauce recipe courtesy of Zahidah. Made extra for Bapis.
Tarawih at Taman Suria.

14 July, Monday 16th
Yearbook budget meeting.
Usrah, iftar and tarawih at Masjid Bilal, Madinat Nasr.
Ummu Qays made black-glutinous-rice-filled atayef, Tza made fried Maggi with sunny side ups, Farah made ayam masak padang, Roy ordered Pizza King and cheesecake to celebrate Wan Nisa's birthday, the akak at the mosque gave us endless dates juices and baked macaroni with minced meat and beschamel.

15 July, Tuesday 17th
Shantah Ramadan akhawat IKRAM Mounira.
Iftar with akhawat at Muntalaq. We ordered KFC eaten with rice, vegetable soup by Wan Nisa and Roy made ayaq asam.
Tarawih at Muntalaq with Tasnim.

16 July, Wednesday 18th
Iftar at Muntalaq, Adakun made roti jala with chicken curry.
Tarawih at Masjid Nabihah, Mounira.

17 July, Thursday 19th
Finished our Ortho viva.
Iftar our Group 3 Special Surgery at Raja's. Ara head chef for sambal sotong and sayur masak lemak, Adilah and I fried one whole chicken each, Nisa made brownies, Zuriati made pudding!!!, Zahidah made popia basah, Ume made her Latte Cap Meme, Raja served us sirap bandung.
Tarawih at Masjid Ibrahim, Mounira.

18 July, Friday 20th
Shantah Ramadan program organized by PERU*ATAN Cawangan Kaherah.
Maidah Rahman-styled iftar with Umair.
Tarawih at Taman Suria.

19 July, Saturday 21st
Accompanied Tima to study for her Batnah End Round while editing seloka.
Iftar and tarawih at ARMA with the embassy.
Tazkirah by Ustaz Awe my fave ustaz in Egypt.

20 July, Sunday 22nd
Iftar at Zahidah's
Tarawih at Zahidah's

21 July, Monday 23rd

22 July, Tuesday 24th

Iftar at Raqaiq
Tarawih at Masjid Nabihah
Imam tazkirah pasal zakat

23 July, Wednesday 25th
Seharian MERCY, Tabarro Project
Iftar at Muntalaq
Tarawih at Masjid ?

24 July, Thursday 26th

Iftar of Adakun's version of Kenny Rogers
Tarawih at Masjid Amru Al-Asr, Mar Girgis
Imam pesan tanda puasa diterima

25 July, Friday 27th
Iftar of Adakun's Kenny Rogers and my ayam paprik
Tarawih at Masjid Rawwas, Zenhoum
Imam pesan syarat nak doa diterima

26 July, Saturday 28th
Iftar at Nadhrah
Tarawih at Masjid Nur, Abbasiyyah
Ittikaf and tahajud at Masjid Fatimah, Abbas Akkad

27 July, Sunday 29th
Iftar nasi kerabu by Tza
Tarawih at Masjid Salahuddeen, Manial.
Ittikaf kat rumah

28 July, Monday 30th
Iftar mee goreng
Isya and takbir raya at Masjid Ibrahim