Should a two years old S3 degenerate already?

Yesterday, I went shopping with mom dad Melle and Maru and upon leaving the mall, I bumped into an acquaintance who studied in Jordan. We chatted for a bit and I excused myself. I couldn't find my family so I went out and scanned the street for them. Waited in front of a cafe and started dialling dad's number, as usual typing it from memory.

Dad didn't pick up. I called again and again. Nobody picked up. I was getting anxious. Why was nobody picking up? Did something happened? Did they got mugged? It wasn't an accident, right?

A stubbly Caucasian gentleman in a grey suit asked me what was the matter and I told him my anxiety. I kept typing the number and in my distress, I fumbled with the last six digits. Eh? What was dad's number again? Why was this stupid thing lagging at this moment?

So I wake up and reached for my phone to open WhatsApp. The numbers kept replaying in my mind and that was when I realise the last number I was frantically typing in that idiotic dream was my own Celcom number. Idiot squared.

It took a while for the damned app to open and finally I got through our family chat group. Calmly I typed in "How is everyone today?".

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In another unrelated news, taking up medicine is undeniably fun but stupid at the same time.

"I talk a lot of sh when I'm drinking" water

Previous post is too serious I need to write something silly so people wouldn't start thinking highly of me. (Conceited?)

I'm currently studying Psychiatry. There's this equation where we calculate a person's IQ that goes mental age divided by chronological age times 100.

The last time I did a mental age quiz, which was a week or so before my apartment caught fire, I got a 46. Which is old, yeah, hi gramma.

So if we put 46 divided by 24 which is how old I am currently, times 100. We get 191 plus.

Normal IQ is 90-110. The range increases by ten to classify as Bright Normal, Superior, Very Superior and ultimately Genius.

Hah. Guess where 191 falls. Hahaha. Mwahahahahahaha!

Zoning out

My stomach grumbled, so I laid my back on the floor. I thought of the chained lady shoes I bought and how it would go neat with the baju kurung mom was having made for my graduation. I would stand flanked by two of my most important beloved people and kiss my dad. I would probably even introduce them to some of my friends.

Talk about friends and graduation, Acap will graduate earlier than me. I hope he invites me though I have a hunch he'll skip the whole thing, but if I tell him I want to come will he join the ceremony and invite me? It would be fun to introduce my family to him one day but I'm sure they'll find it weird. I mean, I barely know this guy. But I kind of like not knowing anything about him other then he's 26, smokes, likes animal and a good babysitter. I trust him because Kak Elli trusts him and because he likes animals. It says a lot about a person who treats his body badly but likes animals and kids like he does.

Where would they stay? Manial seemed like a good option, I'm sure I'd be able to score an apartment there. It is near the school and I could take them around in the morning before I have to go for clinical sessions, but what about after? Can I trust Egypt to be kind to my family and let them take a cab somewhere without me and stay safe? Should I get Kemal to chaperone them? They know him and I trust him, it'll be fine.

But then I realised I have to study very hard in order to graduate on time. I thought of Nephrology and my notes still in disarray. I need to study everything else and leave Cardiology at the end because it was so tough it held me back plenty times. All in all I needed to study harder and faster.

If I don't pass the exam, I can't go back to Malaysia. In a way I am happy to stay here longer in Egypt, but if I don't graduate then I wouldn't be able to move on to the next phase of life. Regardless of being happy, it's never a good thing to be stuck in a phase. I had the most liberating feeling when I discovered (one of) my crush(es) has a girlfriend.

The mathurat reading was nearing its end. I sat up crossed leg in my earlier position and read what was left out loud with my housemates. Mathurat is a compilation of prayers, so you should read it with as much longing you want. It's not meaningless memorized recitation. Zoning out was wrong. But I was so hungry it was exhausting.

I led the closing prayer.

A hypocrite in love

I skipped class today. Because I slept in at 6 plus because it was too early to shower. I know it was stupid and I would never wake up by 7 plus, but I slept in anyway. Woke up way too late for class.

Felt terrible, but maybe accustomed to it already. Today was a Thursday. Last class for the week. I think for every night I went out to the hospital, there will be difficulty the next morning.

As it was, we planned to go to Alex this weekend. Friend made appointment with the doc on Saturday. She messaged me just now and said "Sorry we're going to miss Dr. Hussein's class on Saturday."

"Miss Saturday's class?" Did she mean Sunday?

"He just mentioned there will be class on Saturday. But I've already bought the train tickets."

"It's okay. Proceed."

But I feel like crying. It's one thing to miss because of own stupid circumstances, it's another when you're made to miss.

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It's less than a month to going back to Malaysia but I'm terribly missing him already. This is a twisted love confession of mine. Just saying without doing is not love. I'm terrible at this.

God, if it wasn't for the fact I've bought the international and domestic tickets, I'd plead mom to let me stay in Egypt a little longer.

Maybe it's common for foreigners to be assaulted nowadays

Friday evening, just after arriving back to my place with a backpack and a bag of groceries, I realised I left my tote bag with my shirts at the grocer. Argh. I went out ten minutes to breakfasting time and speed-walked to the grocery at the edge of Mounira to get it back. I brought only my keys with me.

Hurry, hurry, oh I wish I have a bicycle, hurry, why la already 24 still be this careless, turn into the corner by park, two guys were standing chatting, walked pass them, a group of teenagers guffing in front of the mosque, walked pass another guy...

Bam. It hurts!

A flood of thoughts gushed through me as I turned around from my left, clutching my aching left renal angle. It felt like a baseball just hit me. I heard the group of teenagers snickering. Don't tell me the guys behind me were playing catch with them disregarding the fact I was walking through.

I saw a rock the size of my fist rolling away and my frown deepened as the pain turned throbbing. God this is going to bruise bad. The two guys I passed simply glanced at me as if it was normal to see a girl got hit by a rock out of nowhere. Who the- God this really hurts. Somebody just threw a rock at me. I did nothing wrong, I was just passing through this street! And I passed through this same street when I got home from the grocer earlier!

My eyes went straight to a row of cars by the park. Somehow I felt like the person who threw the rock at me was hiding behind it, but I saw no one. The guy behind me was looking there, too. "Someone crazy.." He said. His English was broken, but I caught on.

What should I do? If it was a crazy person, I cannot blame him nor kick his ass. If it was a non-crazy person, I don't want to risk not winning against him. And it hurts, I want my bag and I want to lay down.

This is pointless. An eye for an eye makes the world blind. I was fasting, few minutes to Maghrib even, I cannot lose my temper. I walked away speedily, face contorted in pain and bottling anger, still clutching my renal angle. God the bruise. Should I worry about my kidney?

And those teenagers were still looking amused. Nobody bothered to ask whether I was okay or went to restrain the thrower. Maybe because I could still stand straight, I wasn't profusely bleeding, my face was contorted in pain and bottling anger instead of crying like a Sisi. And violence is so common nowadays for them, if it wasn't me hit by that rock, it could have been one of them. Regardless the fact I am a female and they were all guys, I'm just a foreigner, alone even, doesn't deserve further attention.

A community of trash. No Hana don't be a sweeping-generalizer, we still love our Egyptian professors. I turned the corner to reach the grocery. Tahya Masr my ass. Poor Mother Egypt, poor Mother Egypt.

I went to retrieve my bag. The Egyptian shopkeeper smiled at me, I smiled back. And took the other route home.

P/s: Paravertebral muscle is bruised, still tender. Can't lay on my back without feeling mild tenderness. Pulse is normal. Talked the drama kid out of going for a radioisotope kidney scan, lulz. Let's thank God and Raya food for perinephric fat.