بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Sunday, November 27, 2022

1 year assessment

"You performed well. Good.

You are nervous but personally I think it's an appropriate nervousness. Good sense of urgency and responding appropriately.

Keep that up, ready for Part 2. Have a great time in Kuching." Prof Shireen

"Keep up your strikiness. Cili padi. You're alert and proactive. 

It is easy to be overwhelmed. Don't allow your bidding to lag behind. 

Get cracking with the thesis." Prof Anand. 

I still don't know who they're talking about. Except the nervous part. My anxiety is getting out of hand. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

zaim the guide

Attended a conference. Saw the birdwatcher surgeon who previously worked in Sarawak. My luck. Approached him with a hi.

"Where are you now?"
"I'm here, in UM." 
"What year are you now, first?"
"I just passed my first year exam actually. I'm heading to Kuching next." 
"You're asking me for tips?"
"Actually..." Yeah I probably should ask that. But this is more important. "I'm asking where do I go to bird watch?" 
"That I can answer better."

So we sat there with our Google Maps on as he explained his best places to watch birds in between coughing. Dude has a URTI and entertaining me. Thank you very much for your commitment sir.

Read this http://xegorathbirds.blogspot.com/?m=1

Sunday, November 13, 2022

i think pali has aged

Last night I slept close to 2am and woke up to a houseman calling me to inform their patient that was referred to me in ED for a surgical consult has arrived in their ward, and that they don't think it's their problem. 

The case was actually seen by their own MO in ED and she decided to admit to her ward, and when she called me she said it was non urgent and I can review in their ward later. 

I asked the HO regarding the general condition of the patient and I surmised that the kid was not dying, stable, pain controlled and not in distress. 

Then I looked at the time. I wondered what kind of MO told their HO to wake a person up at 4.30am to inform this kind of thing. The patient is not going anywhere. What difference does it make from calling me at a more humane hour? I have no idea. 

"You're not thinking of transferring patient at 4.30am right?" 

She seemed hesitant, as that wouldn't have been her decision.

"Anyway, what are you guys doing for this patient?"

She started a whole list of history and background so I stopped her. I should have known better than to ask open ended questions at this hour. It doesn't help me to focus. 

"Are you giving him IV drip?"

"Since his hydration is good-"

"It's a yes or no question." I sounded gruff. I hope she forgave me for being EOD oncall and sleep deprived. 

"No."

"Okay. Later I'll go see. Thanks."

And then I hung up after she has said her thanks.

I went back to sleep. I dreamed of Pali but he was older, hair greyer and appeared shabby. As I wrote this I don't remember the details of it, but when I woke up at 6.30am I decided I should text him (I just did) to inform that I've passed my exam and going to Kuching next. I hope he'll do well for his next two years in PPUM. 

I reviewed that patient at 7.30am. Kid was still sleeping, but the mom seems rested. I brought my registrar to see the case at 8.15am and he discharged the kid. Haha. 

Tuesday, November 01, 2022

i bullshit through at least 40 out of 100 marks

Chew gave us a ride back to UM after the exam. In the car Alia said that I look calm and must have done okay in the exam. So I told her I'm way past the stage where I care about the result.

"So you're in the stage where you don't give a f-" She stopped herself. "You don't give a damn anymore."

Yep. Since the very beginning I'm okay with however this turn out. I'm looking forward to spending my time in a jungle pretending to be a crocodile. 

I actually asked my batch for a group picture because I don't think I'll sit for the viva and I'll be quitting after this so this be the last time I see them. Hasniza actually gave me weirdly tender smile and told me not to say that.

The picture is in Chip's phone. I asked him to email but he hasn't. I'm looking forward to captioning it with

Atiqah and 6 people who knew what they're doing.


Haru & Associates