i bullshit through at least 40 out of 100 marks

Chew gave us a ride back to UM after the exam. In the car Alia said that I look calm and must have done okay in the exam. So I told her I'm way past the stage where I care about the result.

"So you're in the stage where you don't give a f-" She stopped herself. "You don't give a damn anymore."

Yep. Since the very beginning I'm okay with however this turn out. I'm looking forward to spending my time in a jungle pretending to be a crocodile. 

I actually asked my batch for a group picture because I don't think I'll sit for the viva and I'll be quitting after this so this be the last time I see them. Hasniza actually gave me weirdly tender smile and told me not to say that.

The picture is in Chip's phone. I asked him to email but he hasn't. I'm looking forward to captioning it with

Atiqah and 6 people who knew what they're doing.

The Effect of Trauma on Confidence and Fluency

End of posting assessment with Mr. Rashidee the specialist but the whole team was there as well (biggest mistake I made) so Mr. Yusof the consultant started firing first. Abengoh helpfully (not) suggested Mr. Yusof to viva me renal physiology and calcium metabolism.

"Nak amik exam kan. Saya bagitahu boss deh awak nak amik exam." He whispered.

"Jangan la Dr. Azrul kenapa buat saya macam ni." I seethed trying to whisper in a room full of interrogators.

"Apa dia?" Big boss asked. I immediately looked up smilingly and reassured "Takde pape."

Mr. Yusof grinned. "Soalan pertama. Beruang apa boleh berenang?"

Me thinking semua beruang pun boleh berenang. "Polar bear boleh berenang."

"Okay.. beruang ape boleh terjun?"

"Terjun? Erm."

Mr. Nazir tried to help. "Panda."

Me imagining panda taking a headlong dive from a tree. "Panda boleh terjun?"

"Pandelela laa. Fail dah common question budak ni."

I laughed. Tengah assessment kan of course la I take the questions academically and seriously! "Okay tapi saya faham kenapa dapat jawapan macam tu." 

"Okay soalan lain pulak. Jepun jajah negara kita bila?"

"Oh sheet."

Soalan-soalan seterusnya:
3) Jepun mendarat dekat mana di Malaysia.
4) Nama sebenar Tok Janggut.
5) Tarikh matahari tegak di garisan jadi.
6) Selain garisan jadi ada garisan apa lagi.

7) Riwayat hidup Imam Abu Hanifah.

8) Phases of bone healing.

9) Open fracture classification.
10) Classification of traumatic brain injury.
11) Mangled extremity severity score.
12) Nama penuh AO. (Thenks Poknik, thenks)

Mengharapkan bantuan dari abengoh tapi abengoh busy sengih dan makan nasi takde harapan dah nak jadi lifeline kepada budak helpless ini. Later in the evening I complained to him ni semua salah dia dan Poknik duk panggil saya budak sekolah and he said "terpegun dengar soalan-soalan tadi. Nasib tak tersembur nasi je." 

I'm glad you're happy, heh.

Big bos gave up budak ni tak leh jawab dan suruh balik baca. Budak ni dah stress. Seterusnya soalan assessment yang sebenar dengan Mr. Shidee... alhamdulillah boleh jawab. Mr. Yusof pulak duduk diam dengar jawapan dengan teliti.

Bila Mr. Shidee dah bertanyakan soalan terakhirnya, Mr. Yusof pun sengih kembali dan sambung tanya soalan. "Beza upper dengan lower motor neuron lesion."

Mendengar je suara big boss budak ni terus rasa nak menyumpah dirinya kerana otaknya tetiba kembali stress. Ape dah jawapan dia? Budak ini pun menjawab.

"Jawapan awak ni upper ke lower?"

"Erk." Natang ape dah aku jawab tadi?

"Habis la awak pun dah confuse."

Just extend me boss, or kill me already. Save me from this suffering somebody. Abengoh dari tadi sengih je tak boleh nak tolong.

"Bos, extend dia ni sebulan ke tiga bagi masa nak study Ortho lagi."

I threw abengoh a gasp. Thenks a lot abengoh. I know you like me in the department but don't have to be obvious about it.

"Soalan saya awak boleh jawab tapi soalan Mr. Yusof tak." Mr. Shidee chuckled. Saya stress bos. Stress. Satu soalan tak leh jawab and it went downhill from there. "Saya tahu knowledge awak good." Bos kata. Ye la empat bulan aku kerja dengan mereka, kena ragging masa round dan masa present dekat passover dengan Mr. Anwar..

"So awak nak extend sebulan ke tiga bulan?"

Blue Hole is veeeeery deep an acrophobic might want to stay away

Today we went snorkeling at Blue Hole, Dahab. It was a first time activity for me and at LE25 a person, I jumped at the opportunity. Literally.

I jumped into the water after Maisarah's lil bro Naqib and went to swim ahead, enjoying the coral life. I quickly reached the edge of said Blue Hole and the sudden loss of sea floor was a fright for an acrophobic like me. I turned around and rushed towards the small bridge. It was supposed to be only a few strokes away but panic level was rising at a frighteningly fast pace.

I could see Yen standing on the bridge, observing the struggling me. "Okay dak?" He asked.

He was closer than the bridge pole I was heading to. I so wanted to grab on to him for life's sake but oh God can I please just grab on to this married guy please-

He grabbed my arm and pulled me in, allowing my to catch on the bridge pole. I regained my senses and floated upright. Pulled my breathing mask out and gasped for direct fresh air.

"Terima kasih Yen, terima kasih."

Nauzubillah but if this dude ever needed a liver, I'll get myself cross-matched.

---

I built up my courage bit by bit, snorkeling across the Blue Hole edges by edges. Then we had a guide who guided us across the whole Blue Hole and over the orange line into the deep sea of Gulf of Aqaba. I did panicked once during the guide but I quickly resurfaced to calm myself, a small pep talk and went back to snorkel again.

It was a refreshing experience. Among the things floating on my mind during the swim across were:
(1) subhanallah wal hamdulillah la ilaha illallah Allahu akbar
(2) there're so many more of this Earth I haven't explored yet
(3) God is Great. I have to work all out harder for this deen
(4) I want to go do Umrah
(5) I need to really work harder for this deen

---

When we got back to the Titanic port waiting for our ride back to the hotel, Ume announced the results of our MBBCh were out. I decided not to spoil our holiday mood, I mean, I just got out of the water, gimme a break. I wasn't bothered much by whatever result I would get since the mindset I had at the very beginning of the study leave. But Ume kept worrying.

Yen opened the result link and told us to tell him if we wanted to know ours. Of course we all rushed to him and waited as he announced each and every one of ours.

"JJ, Jayyid, JJ. Tahniah Hana." Yen read out my Internal Medicine, Surgery and overall grade.

"Terima kasih Yen." My content mode didn't differ much except for an offered grin. "Alhamdulillah aku dapat apa yang aku nak," I remarked to Ume. Sarah was crying happily. Ume was ecstatic.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. After we confirmed all tripmates made it (aside the mentioned names, there were also Humaici, Tima, Lin, Izzah, Rohim, Ijan, Chip plus Ayad and Luqman), I borrowed Yen's phone to scroll through everyone's result to see who didn't make it yet.

---

First thing I did when I reached the hotel was opening the door and announced to my parents the results were out.

"Hana lepas. Semua kawan trip lepas."

"Tahniah!" Dad congratulated enthusiastically.

"Hana dapat Jayyid Jiddan." I added as an afterthought.

Dad gave me a more enthusiastic thumbs up from his lounging on the bed.

Later after we checked out and headed back to Cairo, I checked my phone and SitRepped to Kak Elli and Bawarouq.

---

We were ganging up against Izany's 10-year-old bro Aryan.

Me: (pointing to Fadzlin) Ni siapa?
Aryan: Kak Lin.
Lin: Belakang tu?
Aryan: Kak Meme.
Me: Nama akak ape?
Aryan: Kak Dora.
Me: (semi-standing on my seat and turning to scream at Izany at the back of the bus) Weh Ijan amende kau ajar adik kau ni!!!

May Allah forgive us and accept all our deeds and answers, ameen

(1) Stepped into the Toxic Building for our 70 marks Surgery exam and waiting at the attendance table was none other but Dr. Mohamed Rafeeq our very gigih vascular surgeon. I was surprised and automatically greeted him with a salam that he replied plus his polite smile. I take that he remembered he had Malaysian students in his class.

(2) I was with the last group to be examined. Went inside and was ushered by the doctor to the end of the row. As I got near my seat, I recognised the invigilator at my end was none other but Dr. Ayman who taught us General Surgery class every Sunday. I automatically went "Assalamualaikum Dr. Ayman how are you!" like old friends hahaha. He smiled in recognition and we exchanged pleasantries.

He had been coughing ever since the first day of our class, you know. And we once recognise a cigarette packet-like impression in his back pocket, so we spot diagnosed him as having chronic bronchitis. And during the entire exam, we could hear him coughing every once in a while.

Yup, definitely chronic bronchitis. Haha.

(3) I recognised the head invigilator as Dr. Hisham Mustafa who gave us Stomach and Duodenum lectures. I really liked his lectures and the notes I got was easier to follow than the textbook.

He once came and gave us a Swelling lecture but stopped about 15 minutes later because Dr. Salah Shaheen came and apparently there was an overlap in the schedule. He automatically gave in to the older professor with his respectful cheery smile.

Speaking of Dr. Salah, he gave us the most lecture this year and covered for many professors. God bless him with health, strength and ease. One of the professors he covered for was Dr. Nadem who was supposed to give us Esophagus. Dr. Salah started his lecture by saying he was covering for Dr. Nadem who was actually the pioneer in esophageal surgery in Kasr el Ainy.

Legends!! So people, please do attend the lectures. You can't beat their level of experience.

(4) FINISHED ALL MBBCh EXAM! Allahumma please forgive all of our sins and accept all our deeds and answers, and please grant us the best marks. Let us graduate together, ameen.

I was actually looking forward to participating in Egyptians slamming clay beakers to the ground, but I didn't see anyone doing that. Maybe it was actually done on the graduation day instead?

P/s: It was on the 24th because another group of Egyptians finished their exam then. I missed.

Despite all that, let's not forget our final year colleagues arrested by the junta. Allahumma strengthen them and help them. Please let us remain steadfast in the right path, ameen.

(5) We met the new dean today but he was so different from Dr. Hussein... I didn't see him smile at us nor greet any of us. He didn't even speak to us. He just came and posed for pictures and only interacted with his entourage and the official faculty photographer.

Maybe I missed those moments or maybe I didn't. Maybe he realised Dr. Hussein is forever the dean in our heart and didn't bother to change our mind.

(6) After the exam, I thought of the whole week off I have before we start our clinical attachment on the 26th. It was only late evening that I realised the 26th is three days away.

I had a lot procrastinated in the name of exam and things to look forward after the exam, namely:
(a) jaulah Farouq
(b) daurah BFG
(c) complete family's travel itinerary
(d) yearbook
(e) every single details for work registration
(f) books to buy
(g) items to pack
(h) jaulah tidur setiap RI Kaherah at least
(i) go to Tanta

(j) clinical attachment
(k) batch dinner
(l) family coming
(m) graduation day

My deadline is 2nd March. But for now, today, I want to do nothing. It's not "do nothing" in a relaxed sense of an incoming holiday, it's more of a looming feeling.

(7) I uploaded a picture of us IQs in our graduation robe after the session with the dean and people commented their congratulations underneath it. It made me feel.. anxious. I'm telling you we finished our exams awaiting our results. Why are people congratulating me when the results aren't in yet! Huhu..

Yeah, I know. That's not the good mindset to have. We will graduate together, ameen.

(8) And then Bawarouq posted on my wall calling me Dr. Hana and it caught me by surprise. I was so excited and terharu this legendary brother came by and even more so that he called me Dr. Hana. You don't see Bawarouq do this every year, mark my word. I actually went to Mad's wall to see if perhaps Bawarouq was congratulating all his close juniors but there wasn't any post from him on Mad's wall. And then I stopped at that because that's so bratty attention-seeking of me, hahaha.

So I came back to my senses and to the reality of Bawarouq addressing me with that title. It spoke of his confidence in my result which until just now was barely existent in me. It was uplifting.

I can't wait to work and survive as elegantly as he, Bayep, Kak Bid and Kak Elli did.

(9) Tiza invited us over for dinner but we already ordered Nawab. Nawab was late so we promised ourselves we will eat only a tiny bit, went up and I rang the bell once yelling "It's Hana!!" like a brat. Haha.

Tiza opened the door and I skipped inside. I went straight for the food and you know what, IT WAS NASI AYAM!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I HAD NASI AYAM? IT WAS SO LONG AGO I DONT EVEN REMEMBER!

I quickly grabbed a plate and helped myself bwahahaha. MashaAllah it was so good I wanted to cry. And we would have wiped the whole rice pot clean if it wasn't for the thought of the Nawab we ordered. Hahaha. Damn it was so good, so so good.

We had to go back down quickly while we could still hold back from having seconds, so I brought my and Farah's plate to the kitchen and mindlessly washed her dishes. She quickly playfully taunted me. And then she changed the topic.

"Bila majlis kau?"

Obviously she meant my wedding. "Majlis graduasi 25 haribulan." I replied smoothly. She laughed and so I added as seriously as one could while doing dishes. "Aku takde calon la Farah."

"Ala calon boleh dicari~"

"HARITU KAU YANG SURUH AKU CARI CALON DULU BARU PIKIR PASAL KAWEN! APE MASALAH KAU!" Bwahahahahahaha.

(10) Just before Isya our Nawab arrived. Tasnim had prawn briyani while the rest of us had garlic butter naan with chicken butter masala and also a side dish of onion bhaji!

This is my third experience with Nawab, never fails me. I like the bhaji since I first tasted it and went around promoting the bawang goreng to everyone in the house.

(11) I told the girls about this one guy who saved up at least $10k throughout these years. What followed was a discussion why girls can never save up $1k per year and take a leaf out of this guy's who apparently spent 5 genih per day on food (price before the revolution).

"Prawn briyani per meal is already 60 genih!"

"Half a kilo of strawberry is 3.50 genih! And that's not even enough!"

"We have to buy shower foam, shampoos every month. And don't forget the conditioner!"

I was laughing at all their points thinking girls sure spend a lot. But the winner was:

"Guys don't have to buy pads every month!"
"Yeah, and the daily pantiliners!"

I collapsed in laughter.

Not good enough

It's not like I didn't study for the exam. And it's not like I've been idling these past two years and not examining patients during class. I even went outside class hour to do clerking and examination. Maybe there's no such thing as "enough practice", eh? Haha. Okay.

And was it 3 minutes per patient? It felt like 2. Time sure flies. Please God forgive me of all my sins.

But at least no patients died today. Whether it's an oblique or direct hernia, it doesn't change your management. That's what Dr. Shedy said.

Lessons learned:
(1) be meticulous AND QUICK
(2) don't let anyone distract you
(3) trust yourself
(4) never trust a patient's negative

After my first ever Surgery class (Year 5), I vowed to examine at least 50 scrotums before I graduate. Have I reach my goal?

Misery loves company

I was planning to write in colloquial Malay but after the second sentence, I don't know what to write. Haha failed. I need to berlatih karangan BM, maybe after the exam. Okay on with today's post.

Today we had our Surgery viva for 20 marks out of the 240 marks allocated for clinical exams. It is so ciput, less than 10% but it could well be the scariest exam out of the four clinical parts. Because Dr. Raafat is one of the examiner.

You know him, right? I wrote a lot about him, click the Surgery label. He taught our class every Tuesday and us classmates were especially very anxious for today's exam because we didn't want to be vivaed by him. I personally believe he likes us Malaysian students in his sadistic way and will give good marks to us, but I cannot handle that much sadistic play on an exam day. The psychological damage!

Yesterday Ara messaged me (rare) with a crying emoji (rarer). When asked why, she told me she was so scared of Dr. Raafat and asked me to pray for her (rarest).

See the effect he has on us? I used to be stressed out every Monday night because I dread tomorrow's class, torn between the tons I will learn from him and the psychological strain learning from him put on me. We had a ward-round-like class with him and even with a kind doctor nobody wanted to take the sheet, what more with a menacing aura like him? Because the one clerking will be broken down word by word, knowledge by knowledge, until you feel stupid and extremely sorry for it.

I ended up almost always have to clerk for my bed (thus the weekly dreading) and presented during our final class project with him. I remember standing there alone in front of the class, looking straight into the lion's eyes and mentally telling myself not to back down. Even when he incessantly fired his questions, our assistant lecturer Dr. Ahmed Abdel Salam pitifully chuckled at me for being butchered (I bet he got worse during their CME session hahaha) and the whole class watched in silent but gleeful pity. I went home that day and told my parents about it. They were grateful I had him for my teacher.

It's okay to die as long as you learn. And we really did learn a hell lot and I have high respect for him. The most important thing I learned from him is to know very well in depth of what I know. Basic has to be extremely polished. You have to have deep understanding of your knowledge (faith?) to remain unshaken and stand despite being tested.

If I could do it all over again, I would study harder for his class. Or maybe not... He's the type to torture you with postgraduate materials when he runs out of undergraduate materials to torture out of you. For God sake he taught us postgraduate level Breast Cancer lecture in our last class with him!

And you haven't got me started on how he takes pride when he fails a student. How he made students felt like they just jumped off a 40-storey after vivaed by him. A single basic mistake like exposing only one side of the breast during examination will earn you an instant 0 for that exam and he will damn follow your progress in other exams in order to fail you.

You understand now why we love learning from him but don't want him as an examiner?

Alhamdulillah, us in the right wing of Dept 25 completed the exam with no sign of him. It was when I got home that I came to know he examined a group in the left wing of Dept 25.

Needless to say how I felt about it. I feel sorry for the psychological damage they might endure, but I'm glad it wasn't me. I hope they enjoyed the learning process as much as we did.

---

I spent my last day in Egypt before flying home for the summer break 2014 loitering at the hospital. I was waiting for someone in front of the OT when Dr. Ahmed Abdel Salam walked into it. He grinned at me in recognition and I grinned back sheepishly.

Hahaha, I wondered if he remembered me as the Girl Butchered By Dr. Raafat.

"I never knew Andro covers animals too now."

Today we had our Andrology & Dermatology viva, each for 10 marks. My group for Andro probably had the most resilient professor in Egypt who vivaed all 15 of us a minimum of 20 minutes each. Two people of other groups went for their viva and the person from ours was still not done yet. The earlier people were apparently asked everything from cover to cover of the Andrology book, haha. It was a challenge waiting.

I was the third last to be vivaed and I went home at 12.20pm. And I thought my long case was long. (I went home that day at 11am plus.)

Roy, Allah bless her, got the hardest question in the entire curriculum. She was asked everything about female infection. Tasnim told me they had this in the department CD but nobody taught us this subject, this is Andro, duh. Quite unfair, but Allah definitely grant Roy great marks for this. She gallantly answered with what she remembered from Gynae.

Meanwhile, Fadzlin the last person in our group to be vivaed got the.. randomest question in the entire curriculum.

"What is a snail?"

She is a very expressive person so I can only imagine she reacted to  the question with an exasperated derp face, hahahah. But this is an MBBCh final exam, one must be serious for marks.

"Snail is an amphibian with a shell on its back," answered Lin the genius student.

"Wrong," the doctor said. "It's an animal that lives on a beach."

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha why the beach not the river! Was he referring to Gary? Did he watched Spongebob with his grandkids?

FYI, Egypt doesn't have snails as liberally as we do in Malaysia. That's the first thing I realised when I got here. The only snail I think most urban Cairenes are familiar with are the snails populating the Nile, famous for being the intermediate hosts of schistosoma.

The only snail related to Andrology that I know was "snail-like tract" describing the mucous patches in secondary syphilis. Her subsequent ques was probably the same set of questions I got.

---

I was studying Chest with Jiha just now and she called it a day but it was only 11.30pm so I raised a complaint. She amended.

"I forgot. You continue studying, you're an owl. A highly educated owl."

Opposite me in her room was her mid-body length mirror, and I stared into my reflection scrutinising the huge bags I have underneath my eyes. I even have lines under my eyes, it's so not 24. When I went to exam this morning, I chanced upon akak2 Arab who were immaculately made up, perfect foundation with no sign of sleep deprivation under their eyes. I thought how lucky they were.

But I'm not jealous. Ryuuzaki has bags. Ryuuzaki is cool. I want to be genius and cool like Ryuuzaki.

Things not to do in a viva #2

I was so silly today for Batnah viva I have to document it. Apart from that, today's achievements include greeting Dr. Raafat at the car park on my way out of campus. He was walking and talking with this one man and I just stopped in my track and turned to him expectantly waiting to greet him. He was kind enough to turn around for a hello. It was amusing, really.

Second was two legends actually liked a post I shared on FB. This is the legendary Akr*m and Ha*izi we're talking about! I should ask for an autograph. 

Okay, on with the viva.

---

First viva was with Dr. Heba our mother. Her first question was emergency causes of chest pain, which was the lecture she taught when we were fifth years, so I answered fluently as per she taught.

She gave me a smile and she fired another question, and we kept at that rapid pace until she came to this question.

"What is the normal serum level of creatinine?"

"Erk," no no I forgot this one. "Sorry, I don't know the normal."

"It's okay, take time to think. I have been asking too rapidly anyway."

She tried potassium and I answered correctly. She asked me what was the indications for dialysis.

"Serum creat," I grinned in revelation. "Serum creat more than 9 mg/dL..."

"Good. So the normal value is?"

"Less than 9?"

She laughed. I laughed with her because I know I was not wrong but not exactly right either.

"The answer is less than 1. Okay, what else in the body we need it less than 1?"

Oh oh. Did I mention I hate numbers? I mumbled and crossed out substances but she still waited for me. Dr. Heba helpfully supplied "Something in the liver."

"-transaminase, no? Ah, INR."

She laughed again. I laughed too. Cmon, I wasn't wrong :p

"Yes we need it not more than 1," she shook her head, at my silliness perhaps. "But something else."

"Bilirubin," I answered.

"Yes, correct."

So cheeky this girl. Reckless tahap ape main2 MBBCh. Go die la.

---

I was probably high from all the silliness when I vivaed with Dr. Mohamed El Khattib. He taught us in Dept 31 during our fifth year and this year he lectured us Glomerular Diseases. I know he's a merry man.

And his opening question was treatment of status epilepticus. When I realised I forgot about epilepticus but I damn well remember down to the dose for status asthmaticus (old name for severe acute asthma), I shook my head and chuckled.

"Why isn't it asthmaticus?"

It was station Neurology silly. Sir asked Dr. Heba didn't the kids studied epilepticus in the course because no one seemed to be able to answer him. I would have liked to assure him we didn't. I attend my lectures, this wasn't in!

Or did it?

Dr. Heba assured him it was taught. She turned to me and said "Take a breath and answer."

Thank you for the confidence in me, doctor. Dr. Mohamed turned to me and rested his elbows on the table, a pose I took as he was giving me chance to redeem myself. "Patient is convulsing non-stop. What are you going to do?"

I looked up to him with confidence. "General measures. First I will make sure..."

The thing I saw as I answered was my eclampsia note. That was O&G.

---

"Okay now, treatment of bilharziasis."

I stared off for a while, scrolling through my mind. Where is this bilharziasis? Liver? Periportal fibrosis.. They used to use glass syringe to administer the drugs and infect people with HCV instead.

Eh where's the name of the drug? It's not metronidazole, I know. Haru was doing "Aaaaaaaaaaaa" in my head until the doctor cut her short.

"Come on, bilharziasis." The merry sir grinned.

I grinned back helplessly. "The name is not coming out. Ask me something else please." Like typhoid maybe.

"Okay. Fasciola."

We burst out laughing at the same time. Because I was totally screwed hahahahaha.

---

As always, post viva the AJK Akademik will make these forms. I like the template this time, catso catso! Those folks really are racking in pahalas, Allah bless them and their backbones.

Things not to do in a viva

One of the rumoured-malignant professors we have in Internal Medicine is Dr. Aysha Badawi. Despite the rumours, I like her. She gave us lectures in Cardiology and Rheumatology. Her lectures are usually very long, 2 hours minimum-

She started her Rheumatology lecture with "ihna 3andina a very long lecture" haha that got me chuckled defeatedly

-and she likes to ask and when answered correctly will give you a "right you are" or a glare if you answered like one of the lay men.

And yes, she is strict and kind of scary like the rumours say, but I like her. Because I learn.

I was examined by her during my Internal Medicine end round exam. I was ushered in by the resident and the station I got was Cardiology. Just me, the patient and time. I don't like Cardiology, mind you. Never easy on me. But I was to examine the patient within the minutes allocated, so it was relatively easy and my patient was a kind old chap so it was enjoyable.

No idea who was going to examine me, so I did the full examination and rehearsed my history. More than ten minutes had passed. I even had time to borrow a friend's sphygmo to check the patient's BP (I never bring one to an exam, too bulky to carry around. So I like to go without it and just tell my examiner "I didn't check his BP because I don't have a sphygmo" but maybe I have to change for the final exam).

And then Dr. Aysha came in. I foresaw being butchered.

She went ahead and examined the patient before turning to me asking me to take his pulse. I did and commented it fully.

"..equal volume-"

"What are the causes of unequal volume?" She interrupted me.

"Coarctation of aorta, pancoast tumor, and the rest I forgot. Sorry." I grinned.

Okay maybe I shouldn't have said that.

She wasn't amused. Dr. Aysha gave me the deadliest death glare I had ever seen.

Scratch that, I really shouldn't have said that. Haru was screaming in my head "Why did you have to be stupid do you want us to fail???" and that froze me up from otherwise blurting out "Justjokingpleasedon'tfailme."

It was plain wrong for me to enumerate only two and said "and the rest I forgot" because I was clearly showing no effort. That question can be answered logically by simply analysing what would obstruct or compress just one side of the upper limb. I was lazy and it showed. It served me right to be death-glared, I wouldn't even be surprised if Dr. Aysha sent me away at that point.

But she didn't. Instead she went on and asked me other things and made me do the full cardiac examination in front of her and had me explain the basis of each one of them.

That moment I thought how very forgiving of her to overlook my lapse of judgement. I was sheepish for the reminder of the exam, being humbled by her. She was tough but her questions were clear and didn't deviate from what we studied in the curriculum. She really is a good professor. I learned what professionalism means.

We discussed the management in brief and then I got to "patient will be on life-long anticoagulant."

The atmosphere then was of finality, that I had just answered my last question and would be dismissed uneventfully. But she kept firing.

"What is the dose for the anticoagulant?"

Inside my head, Haru went "Oh shit."

Don't take a leaf out of my book kids, but I don't like numbers so I didn't study the dose before the exam. The patient told me he took 5mg of Warfarin when I clerked his history earlier, but there is the risk of the patient being mistaken. I was tempted to answer 5mg, but I can't risk that.

When you don't know, offer another related answer. So I did this trick I last used in my Ophthalmology final viva when the prof asked me the name of the condition but I forgot and gave him the pathogenesis of that condition instead. Basically I answered a 2-word answer with a 2-sentence.

I smiled confidently and answered Dr. Aysha. "I don't know the dose but I know his INR should be kept 2-3."

She nodded. "Very good. You may go."

"Thank you doctor. Have a good day."

I skipped on my way out. Safe with a "very good" from Dr. Aysha! Alhamdulillah.

P/s: The dose for oral Warfarin is what keeps his INR 2-3, usually around 5-15mg daily.

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Goofing around is fun but not exactly respectful. Here's another tips for you guys:

1- avoid using Egyptian ammi with your professors especially "eeh" or "aiwah". Use the standard Arabic "na3am".

2- address them respectfully as "sir" or "doctor".

3- be thankful and wish them good day.

4- SMILEEEE. A butchered smiling face is always better. Makes outsiders think you die as a hero.