The Effect of Trauma on Confidence and Fluency

End of posting assessment with Mr. Rashidee the specialist but the whole team was there as well (biggest mistake I made) so Mr. Yusof the consultant started firing first. Abengoh helpfully (not) suggested Mr. Yusof to viva me renal physiology and calcium metabolism.

"Nak amik exam kan. Saya bagitahu boss deh awak nak amik exam." He whispered.

"Jangan la Dr. Azrul kenapa buat saya macam ni." I seethed trying to whisper in a room full of interrogators.

"Apa dia?" Big boss asked. I immediately looked up smilingly and reassured "Takde pape."

Mr. Yusof grinned. "Soalan pertama. Beruang apa boleh berenang?"

Me thinking semua beruang pun boleh berenang. "Polar bear boleh berenang."

"Okay.. beruang ape boleh terjun?"

"Terjun? Erm."

Mr. Nazir tried to help. "Panda."

Me imagining panda taking a headlong dive from a tree. "Panda boleh terjun?"

"Pandelela laa. Fail dah common question budak ni."

I laughed. Tengah assessment kan of course la I take the questions academically and seriously! "Okay tapi saya faham kenapa dapat jawapan macam tu." 

"Okay soalan lain pulak. Jepun jajah negara kita bila?"

"Oh sheet."

Soalan-soalan seterusnya:
3) Jepun mendarat dekat mana di Malaysia.
4) Nama sebenar Tok Janggut.
5) Tarikh matahari tegak di garisan jadi.
6) Selain garisan jadi ada garisan apa lagi.

7) Riwayat hidup Imam Abu Hanifah.

8) Phases of bone healing.

9) Open fracture classification.
10) Classification of traumatic brain injury.
11) Mangled extremity severity score.
12) Nama penuh AO. (Thenks Poknik, thenks)

Mengharapkan bantuan dari abengoh tapi abengoh busy sengih dan makan nasi takde harapan dah nak jadi lifeline kepada budak helpless ini. Later in the evening I complained to him ni semua salah dia dan Poknik duk panggil saya budak sekolah and he said "terpegun dengar soalan-soalan tadi. Nasib tak tersembur nasi je." 

I'm glad you're happy, heh.

Big bos gave up budak ni tak leh jawab dan suruh balik baca. Budak ni dah stress. Seterusnya soalan assessment yang sebenar dengan Mr. Shidee... alhamdulillah boleh jawab. Mr. Yusof pulak duduk diam dengar jawapan dengan teliti.

Bila Mr. Shidee dah bertanyakan soalan terakhirnya, Mr. Yusof pun sengih kembali dan sambung tanya soalan. "Beza upper dengan lower motor neuron lesion."

Mendengar je suara big boss budak ni terus rasa nak menyumpah dirinya kerana otaknya tetiba kembali stress. Ape dah jawapan dia? Budak ini pun menjawab.

"Jawapan awak ni upper ke lower?"

"Erk." Natang ape dah aku jawab tadi?

"Habis la awak pun dah confuse."

Just extend me boss, or kill me already. Save me from this suffering somebody. Abengoh dari tadi sengih je tak boleh nak tolong.

"Bos, extend dia ni sebulan ke tiga bagi masa nak study Ortho lagi."

I threw abengoh a gasp. Thenks a lot abengoh. I know you like me in the department but don't have to be obvious about it.

"Soalan saya awak boleh jawab tapi soalan Mr. Yusof tak." Mr. Shidee chuckled. Saya stress bos. Stress. Satu soalan tak leh jawab and it went downhill from there. "Saya tahu knowledge awak good." Bos kata. Ye la empat bulan aku kerja dengan mereka, kena ragging masa round dan masa present dekat passover dengan Mr. Anwar..

"So awak nak extend sebulan ke tiga bulan?"