I've been finishing ward's floor stock of piriton

Last week I had a bad case of allergy. I started itching over my back and noticed welt marks over my neck and shoulder and my legs. All over them. Belatedly only I realised I had the same marks across the entirety of my back. I didn't went into any forest prior to the lesion appearance so I thought it was bed bugs. I cleaned all my linen and it hasn't gotten worse.

It started to dry up over the past week and I didn't put anything over it. I don't like local creams and it's systemic anyway. IV hydrocortisone will just upset my stomach plus it's delayed anyway. Too much hassle. I just took Piriton almost every night.

Only that it's really drying up today. My back is scaly, like I'm molting. And when skin is dry, it itches. I remember the advices I always tell my burn patients. They need to apply oil on the drying lesion so that it remains moist and doesn't itch.

I feel like scrubbing my whole back and oil it down but ahh how. 

today is my last 30

I thought I'd do one of those TCA Review but I got bored and couldn't think of any recent answers. Except my favourite time now is 2PM.

What's going on nowadays is that 2PM made a comeback. I've long known of their Hands Up thus equated them to party people, I know Taecyeon and Nickhun but that's about it. I've never known anything more. 

You know how old my playlists are, and that I rarely bother to keep up with new songs but this one, I don't know, this comeback resonates with the 30 years old me. Their Make It exuded a different level of sexy masculinity vibe, so much that I've never thought the game Kiss, Marry, Kill could apply to me until now and I'd fluidly answer Junho, Nickhun and Taecyeon to that. And save me, Lee Junho is the first person in the entirety of my life that I describe as fuckable. 

It's wrong to objectify a person, I'm sorry Junho but I'm not sorry... Them promoting them as sexy masculine is downright a great bet. Take all my money, you have my dignity anyway. I'm gonna go to hell for this. 

Cleansing my thoughts with this. 

Ah but really, vibe aside, their vocals are no joke. Jun K has the most soothing soulest tenor ever and I like how his song-writings are poetic. Never did I thought I'd enjoy soul jazz so much I played his solo albums on repeat. Albums, not a single song. That's how good he is. 

Dr. Alexandra Solomon said - liking a person makes you human. Letting them know makes you brave. As such, my aim for the coming year is to fast everyday or go jogging everyday. 

smart kids

I was in the PPNR elevator going to the 4th floor and held the door open for a boy being wheeled in by his dad with the number 7 on the back of the wheelchair. The staff nurse escorting was holding a piece of what looked like an abdominal xray. 

I've never seen the kid before but I think I know this case. 

"Ray kah ini?" I asked the staff nurse. She nodded. I introduced myself as a surgical MO and asked to see the AXR. "Pergi buat ultrasound ya tadi?" 

"Ya. Belum siap lagi report."

The xray looked okay. He looked comfortable crossed leg on the wheel chair, with his thick black framed glasses and mask on. 

We exchange eye contact. The kid stared at me and asked "Bagaimana doktor kenal aku?" 

I've known of Ray the long term patient in Transplant Ward who's been having non resolving fever and required twice CVL insertion for his marrow transplant. This morning my colleague passed over that they referred him to us last night because he had abdominal pain yesterday. They were doing an ultrasound abdomen for him today. 7th floor is where the Transplant Ward is and last I heard there's only Ray there. 

I've never review him myself but I put two and two together. 

"Kerusi kau tulis nombor 7. Kau sorang ja kan di tingkat 7?"

They chuckled. "Ada lagi seorang baru masuk doktor."

jehoonie oppa

Miss Haz's laptop has a flickering screen so she's in the talk to get a new one. We were promoting iPad Pro versus MacBook to her so I ran up to ward to get my iPad to show to her.

That's how Boss and Miss saw Je Hoon oppa on my wallpaper.

Miss was pointing it out calling him "oppa" and commenting this and that I forgot. I told them I don't have other picture on my iPad. Which is the truth, but even so I'm not putting anyone but Oppa as my wallpaper.

"Letak la gambar Miss Haz," Boss said while taking out his phone and showed the picture from yesterday's Kak Ros and Anes farewell party.

---

I'm currently watching Hospital Playlist, I've done till the latest S2E4 and waiting for E5 to drop. In the mean time I'm watching Nevertheless.

It's not my cup though. He's a playboy and she just dumped her cheating boyfriend. They are horny youngsters and I'm an old chimp. Am I that bored? I guess so.

I think she should stop and stay away. But I understand why she's not. He's clear that he's non committal and at the same time professed his interest and damn him, his care. He took care of her. That's why although she saw all the red flags of how dangerous of a game this is, she still kisses him first.

The drama is a no go. I like to live in denial that nowadays younguns are pure. 

put your hands up, put your hands up, put put put put put

Today in clinic a 12 years old boy walked in referred for circumcision under GA for ADHD. He at a glance looked mentally normal and just a tad taller than me. I greeted them, clerked him concisely short of examining him. Then I stood up and said "Sebentar saya cari doktor lelaki."

Before they even ask. Because I try to instill the importance of respecting a kid's sexuality and private parts. 

The only available male doctor was my surgeon so I pulled him in. Hahaha. The kid even kicked his parents out from the examination room. I stood outside the cubicle while my surgeon examined him behind closed curtain. 

While waiting, I reread the referral letter and asked the mother regarding his comorbids. Cerebral palsy with left hand hemiparesis means when was his last fit? What's his current motor function? His mom said he can grip albeit not as strong. 

The kid came out from the examination room. I gave him a thumbs up. He mirrored me and to my surprise plastered his thumb to mine. 

I blinked. That was the first physical contact I've had in quite a long while to be honest. 

I shook myself out of my reverie and told him to do it with his weaker side. He could form a thumbs up but he couldn't lift his arm to match mine. 

I then held up a high five. He matched mine with his good hand. I told him to do it with the other hand. He held it up though it was awkwardly internally rotated. It was a sideway high five.

come back in 2030

Let's just put this out there. In 10 years time by 2030 I would

1. Be a surgeon doing fellowship in complex urology

2. Have presented at ISPSR

3. Have been to a CNBLUE live concert

4. Be proficient to read kanji

5. Be competent in sign language

6. Be married with kids

Today is 04.07.2021. Happy birthday Jehoon oppa, so happy you were born.

atiqah is sometimes a grumpy old soul

One time I had a patient whose name was similar to mine and she's a grumpy old soul who thrashed when I tried to secure her nasogastric tube. She was uncooperative because of my procedure and it has nothing to do with her name but the exasperated me muttered "semua Atiqah memang kena garang ke." The mother chuckled and I immediately said "Mak, nama saya pun Atiqah jugak" in case she thought I was dissing her kid (well I was sort of but mostly dissing myself).

The next day my surgeons all came to see the kid and when they know the kid's name they all went

"Ohh patut pun laaaa pergi telan bateri" while slapping my shoulder and I gave Ms. Haz my 'what' face hahah. 

"Ohh patut la ada meh" said Mr. Mughni with a cheeky smile he has when he's teasing but trying not to offend.