"I run towards my problems instead of away from them, because that's what heroes do."

Today us housemates had our first full house iftor together. Then we prayed Maghrib all five of us and we went to Masjid Bandaraya in a car for our Isya and Terawih. And then we went back for moreh in the kitchen.

And Kak Adilah made that comment, that it was the first time we're all seated together.

Yeah I know. It's mostly me missing. I don't hang out with them much. Even today at iftor I actually made sandwiches for myself while the rest ate home cooked rice.

I have a problem. In which I run from what appears to be good things. It happened when I was a student, when I was a houseman, and now when I'm an MO. I don't know how to fix this. Good things are good for me, generally speaking. Makes you a better person. But I sort of feel like it'd make me a boring person. Well.. boring is subjective, so I should change my definition of boring, but still. Maybe that's why I'm running?

I like to think that I'm a good person myself, a good person who is attracted to bad things. Like how I'm a closeted fujoshi? (Not so closeted now that I'm writing it here, but it's not like anyone's reading this.) Maybe I like challenges?

Anyway. I don't think I'm going to just.. embrace and accept the good things. Because I have this very inert urge to just run away from it. So yeah. As of now we're still going nowhere with this issue.