don't ignore a mistake

because it'll only get worse next time around, seterusnya tertekan dengan sebesar-besar tekanan.

CADANGAN PENYELESAIAN:

a)
berlari sekarang
menuju satu pejabat di Awwal Manyal
bermukim di sana sehingga ia buka pagi esok

jadi orang pertama.


b)
jom n****s.


c)
main futsal
dalam rumah
bagi kurang sikit perasaan itu.

Before the Worst

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah talking 'til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

It began when dad decided to put us at that school to provide us with as much knowledge on Islam as possible. Counting the years till now, I'd say I have 11 years pocketed on this path.

Are you hearing me? 'Cause I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

Perhaps it's a syndrome for everyone not starting on his own will. After so long, it was probably out of habit that I seek it out on my own. There was an empty space so hollow in my heart. Only relieved, filled to the brim my happiness was palpable a mile away once I'm back with you guys.

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

It is selfish on my part that I was just happy to be a part of it, not very much contributing nor working hard for it. Read: I wasn't working hard for this relationship.

"Maybe I've been selfish," he muttered after a while. "I feed on your presence. Just watching you is enough for me, it sustains me. I give you nothing in return."

-Bullwinkle's Lady, Ultimatum

Relive the spark that was once there. It is still there, I know it! This relationship is too much valuable, it was once my lifeline and it sure is now. So don't give up on it. Not ever.

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

I want in..

Mak Lang #2

I just reached Jeddah and it was around 12am Malaysia that I received dad's text. Mak Lang passed away on 11.40pm (GMT+8).

I said my goodbye that morning but she was asleep then.

Mom said it was so sudden, could have been a heart attack. She had been recuperating after her stroke and it never occurred to me..

I am so sorry :'(


Written on 16th October.

Last (Fri)Day

Friday started with sending the kids for taekwando at SRI. Mom and I swept the open hall floor with two other kids so that the boisterous of them wouldn't hurt their teeny tiny feet when they run around or practice their kicks.

I think Madam Salwani was also my taekwando instructor when I started in 2001, but I didn't have the chance to ask her personally. We were diligent sweeper, working in silence.

After that, I walked around the school compound to take a final look of my primary school. The buildings are the same, prettier with the new purple coat but pretty much the same. They put a board at the place we used to play berambak tiye so I guess the nowadays kids have to fun their amusement somewhere else (here's a friendly tips).

I saw Pak Cik Ahmad F*ris, he has a son from my UPSR batch (Am*r Najm*) but I didn't really keep in touch with the lot so I wouldn't know where he is now. I remember his full name (I am so skema) because the guy has two other brothers who practiced taekwando along when I started and all of them bear the initial A.N.A.F. Am*r Najm*, An*s Nasr* was two years younger I guess and Af*q N*zmi would have been two years younger than him.

Exiting Pak Cik's same old black Unser were two tiny girls and one lanky boy all in their taekwando gears. The boy had a black belt with yellow embroidery on it and he looked just as clueless as I remembered the then tiny fun-to-be-bullied Af*q.

I hope none of them were famous enough to be Googled nor obnoxious enough to Google themselves and end up coming across this post... haha.

Six Apples A Day

Pak Cik Hafiz came by just now. He is a family friend from our time in Australia. 15 years really does change people physically. They've a son of my age and that Hamizan kid didn't speak Malay one bit when I last saw him in Johor, probably around five years ago I'm not sure. But he eats like a Malay I'm sure, he was then teaching one kid how to suck the fat off a cow's bone using a straw.


His visit triggered back the fondness of Brisbane :)


Earlier that day, I baked an apple pie. Now I was never the fancy domestic person, plus I barely eat whatever I cook myself but the pie was an exception. Perhaps it was a mistake, because I end up going on hyper-drive all day and plopped down dead suddenly later at night.

Afternoon I had to rush across the city so you bet I wouldn't have time to hang around. Then took the kids to mom's workplace for the Aidilfitri celebration. This time around, I didn't need to buy some of food I wanted to eat. Laksam, soto, tapai.. all that came from open houses ;)

Mom told us that Daud Su and Piya came before us and Maru was uber excited; asking what clothes they were wearing ("Baju belang hitam kelabu, jeans"), did she get a picture with them ("Mama amik, tapi ada dalam kamera kawan mama"), can he see the picture ("Ada dalam kamera kawan mama la"), when can the picture be developed ("Kamera kawan mama la Maru!"), can he take a picture with them ("Diorang dah balik la Maru ni, makan habis dulu")

I was merely observing while slurping my soto. I don't get the kid's excitement over "Daun sup" and "Piyah" until mom and dad later told the perplexed me that those two were Kelantan footballers.

Now how would I know that?

Confession of a Vandal

Dearest FCR,

Do you remember the tree behind the school that we (or was it just me?) vandalized during our last week in primary school? We (I think it was just me) carved

N
S
Y
N
C

along the trunk of the poor tree, and I'm quite proud at our attempt of marking our mischievousness without really exposing who we were. Back then, the whole class were crazy over Hijjaz, Nowseeheart, Westlife and of course Backstreet Boys but only two (or was it three?) were standing firmly by Nsync.

That was 2002.

We came back to visit our primary school and teachers after SPM. Remember that we finished off with scurrying to the back of the school and revisit the vandal site?

Baik sangat la korang.. layan je saya ajak masuk semak.
Dari kiri: Laila, Ayuni, Timah, Raja, Dahiyah.

The tree was still there, but the markings were too faded.


That was 2008.

Just now I had Hakim to wait for me at the wakaf because I wouldn't want to risk any snakes or centipedes jumping on him. I then went to the back of the school with Ikbal and Firdaus (both boys wanted to follow me everywhere, sweet critters :x) but I can still see Hakim watching us safely from afar.

They both wanted to know what I was doing. I told them so, and Ikbal doubted our tree was still there because the school cut down several trees at the end of last year in an act of "illegal deforestation" as he said.

And surely, the tree was not there. Only a stump of it still remain.

There were other trees on either side of the stump though, and I wondered whether the cutting down of the Nsync tree was an act of retribution from the school. Sigh.

Boys leaning onto a neighbouring tree.

Today is 2011.

The three of us left the bushes. I heard Ikbal suggesting to Firdaus that they take a leaf out of my book and also carve their names onto one of the remaining trees...

Have I set a bad example?

It's a good day to be 12

Saw him walking down the pavement with a friend towards the compound. Told my company to stay put and I raced after him. Jogged to fall in step on his right.

"C'mon, ice creams on me." As promised so yesterday.

A week not to forget

You were waiting alone at the cafe and she walked by with her friends, approximately two meters from you. You fumbled with your iPod, trying to look anywhere but at her. She talked to her friends facing you, not looking at you but glancing up here and there.

Your eyes met (as the cliche goes) and she flashed you the cockiest smirk. You smirked back, knowing fully that the two of you were playing hard to get.

She walked to your table with the same steady gait she carried herself and smiled just as arrogantly. "Can I have a dollar?"

"No." She was behaving exactly like the school girl who know she's cute and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Oh cmon, it's just a dollar."

You laughed and rolled your eyes at how easy the kid pushed your button. "Here you go."

She ran off happily only to come back later to return you the money. "Don't cry on me." She winked and head off with her friends.

As tall as me!

Deeper voice with a nasal tinge to it.

Unmistakable mischievous aura. Looks exactly like your local prankster.

A flirt, too close.. Going to grow up dangerous.

Mendidik Nerd Berjaya

harus bermula dengan menggalakkan budaya membaca.

Sejak tiga tahun lalu ketika Maru masih merengek-rengek (eh sekarang pun sedang), selalu juga bawa dia ke Perpustakaan Dar Nur Az-Zahra di Telipot sebab lokasi yang dekat dengan SRI Aman (boleh terus ambil Yaya nanti) dan Billion (susu low fat Nestle murah ya di sini, RM4.50 je. Jus karot Vegood pun RM4 je).

Dulu, lepas penat membaca, jalan kaki kot dengan budak kecil tu pergi kedai makan depan Billion. Kami kongsi nasi goreng, saya suapkan budak pendek tu. Mak cik kedai baik belanja kami susu panas. (Ayat sedikit cacat lambang berkarat.)

Sekarang sebab semua dah bersekolah rendah, sebelum boleh baca buku cerita, elok lah kita kerah mereka siapkan kerja rumah dulu.

Maru nampak sangat malas, Melle je tekun.
Moga terus rajin berusaha ya anak-anak (kah3)

Buku kanak-kanak sekarang sama tebal dengan buku medik agaknya.

Ada maksud yang lebih mendalam pada nama Maru 'Kepalabesar' Roslan

Saya mungkin ada rekod buruk di Perpustakaan Awam Kelantan, maka tidak mungkin saya jejakkan kaki ke sana.. Perpustakaan awam negeri sudah tentu ada pilihan bahan bacaan yang jauh lebih banyak, tetapi setiap perkara memerlukan pengorbanan.

Culture Shock!

Ini percubaan menulis kembali dalam Bahasa Melayu sebab hari ini saya terpaksa berbahasa Kelantan dan ianya sedikit menyakitkan hati sebab:

1) got bested for using english in a group of kelantan-speakers. so unfair, i am not going to be awkward with people i care because of language!

2) rasa macam i'm having a relationship with a frenchman, urgh. foreign and cocky.

Maka tuan puan disarankan jauhkan diri dari blog saya, terima kasih.

---

Tinggal seminggu je di Malaysia maka kena betul-betul bersungguh minggu ni. Dan juga sebab ayah dah kembali bekerja maka tak best duduk rumah sorang-sorang (ayat ni ada unsur keganjilan dan penipuan sebenarnya).

Bermula dengan menghadiri Sambutan Aidilfitri 1432 SRI Aman untuk berjumpa guru-guru dan adik-adik tercinta dan old flames wooho! disamping merayap dekat sekolah rendah yang dah lama ditinggalkan.

Which reminds me, terlupa nak jenguk pokok belakang sekolah yang di-vandalize 9 tahun yang lalu. Lusa datang balik kita tengok what happened to it okay. *tulis dalam To Do List*

Dia minta belanja ais-krim tapi saya bagitahu "Sorry ada dollar je, takde ringgit" maka macam mana nak belanja ais krim dan inilah kebenaran yang sebenar.

Masuk kereta ayah persoalkan kenapa tetiba segan minta duit belanja (sebenarnya kali ni sendiri rasa dah terbanyak belanja on tiket flight hehe, pergi KL punya pasal) dan mak pun hulur RM19 sebab kesian tengok dah 21 tahun tapi takde ringgit tunai dalam beg (duit tunai aka duit raya dah habis dengan terbelinya beg baru (curse me) serta ice-blended latte yang penting bagi penerusan kehidupan).

Sebenarnya semua ini alasan sebab dah komited simpan duit untuk beli rumah.

Seterusnya ke bandar dan menindik telinga. Benda ni sebenarnya dah buat 14 tahun yang lalu tapi dipendekkan cerita lubang tinggal sebelah je. Pakai subang sebelah je nanti salah di sisi agama pulak, maka hari ni akhirnya terlaksana lah misi untuk tidak menyerupai Ryota Miyagi ;D


Berkenalan dengan Kak Anita pemilik Anita Jewels dekat Jalan Tok Hakim. Kedai dia baru bukak lima hari sebelum raya, sebelum ni dia kerja dengan ayah dia. Anak dia ada sorang darjah 5 dekat Sekolah Zainab.

Masa dia tindikkan telinga tadi, dia layan ketakutan pelanggan dengan sangat cemerlang! Para bakal doktor boleh la kiranya mendalami bed-side manner dengan Kak Ta ni :P

Dah alang-alang di kedai emas, hantar terus rantai nama dan cincin minta dia tolong krom bagi nampak baru. Benda ni dah overdue sekurang-kurangnya dua tahun, si senget ni seorang penangguh sejati.

Selepas ini akan ke kedai Amway cari moisturizer serta mak heret ke Nirwana untuk beli blouse baru (sebab saya takde duit tunai maka kalau betul nak beli barang kena la bawa ibu bapa bersama).

Esok cuti peristiwa SRI Aman sempena sambutan pagi tadi. Dia ajak dating KB Mall (quite a flirt yo. This kid really is something.. Tetiba rasa culture shock.) tapi dah janji bawa adik-adik baca buku di Pustaka Az-Zahra.

Keluarga didahulukan, membaca diutamakan. Haha.

Because music is an art

And according to Dei, art is a bang. The feelings you get from listening to a particular song dictates how high of a quality it was made with; how much feeling was poured into and the hard work that entailed.

You don’t even have to understand the words to enjoy it; it could be complete gibberish to your ears but what sneaks into your heart is what counts. Like dealing with a stranger in a foreign language, the message will come across eventually despite the boundary of different language and vocabularies.

And because we all felt differently, thus the wide range of genre available for our heart’s preference.

The only reason I keep a copy of CN Blue's Love Girl is because their jamming is soft enough to not be at my level of liking and hard enough to dictate me as a secular person compared to people around me. I live with good people in a good surrounding; when the phone blast with jamming, we all know whose call that was for.

I refrain from listening to it though. It is obviously a sappy love song, a somewhat upgraded rendition of puppy-sick I love you; not my type. And I don’t even need to look up its lyric translation to know this. I feel sickly drowned by someone's PDA already from first time listening to it.

Above all, I have been looping to Tatsuya Ishii’s River. He sings wonderfully, so the man rendered Japanese Elton John. Just the right drawl, the correct emphasis, the timely rhythm.

Listening to it leaves me with a mixed feeling of longing, hope and just a tinge of angst. It fits right in when you’re feeling sort of a lost cause. And when I looked up the lyric translation, it keyed in and locked itself in my favourite list.

#TheScript-ed

When you have more than five related tweets, I figured they're better off blogged instead.

YouTubed #TheScript live radio show. #TheManWhoCantBeMoved's lyric just wow-ed me, read and my eyes sparkled! It's cheesy in a fine way ^o^


They're as sweet as #BrunoMars's but I find #TheScript not as ridiculously cheesy haha #biased #notsorry

That was a take at our three-way discussion on the cheesiness of Grenade last March.

Why did she leave the guy in #TheManWhoCantBeMoved? What did she wanted that he can't give? He was too good for her? Love is lost?

I don't see why you would be in a relationship if you're just going to break up anyway. Maybe I'm too #naive, at least I believe in loyalty.

But! the world is a really big place. I can't possibly imagine every complications of human life and problems we could have. #understanding

#inspired! *pulls out my notepad*

The Trouble With Jane

I am.. in no position to give relationship advices, but here goes.

Jane was having problems at school. She was stalked at every corner and bullied by a group of rabid females who made up her lecturer-husband's unofficial fan club. She wouldn't tell her husband about it; John might sit down with the fan club and that might make matter worse for both Jane and John.

Ironically suiting this post, meet Mr. Jane.

So Jane endured a few more days of coming home exhausted and in her worst state. On top of that, she was as stressed as possible. John saw her state of course, but when he asked her what's wrong, all he got was a somewhat glare and "It's nothing."

The next day, John woke up early and prepared her a packed lunch. He gave it to her with a smile and still in his apron, he said, "I don't know what's wrong, but I hope you'll be okay."

She ate her lunch in happy tears and with a renewed determination to face that group of rabid fans.

---

My point here being; sometimes, knowing that you have faith in her ability to handle stressful events can be a pillar for her in itself. It's a reminder that she herself is a tough person in this game of life. Like this one person said and I quote, "I know you know you're tough."

That, and everyone adores free foods. Especially home-cooked, that's the chocolate shavings on my chocolate chip mint ice cream! (If you don't understand this sentence, you might understand 'the icing on my cake'.)

This post is a dedication and I should have used simple sentences to not confuse him any further, but I fail to write like a normal person..

Today is Mama's birthday. Also today Hakim split open his forehead again, poor thing. Not only that kid has big head (Hakim 'Kepalabesar' Hanifah) he also had his skull plated in iron.

"It's a grand for court contempt!"

"And the school is suspending me because of the pending criminal charges."
-Paul, Leverage customer

Happy Malaysia Day everyone. Let's pretend that that is a Malaysia flag.

I played a lawyer three years ago, defending a student expelled because of a pending criminal charge, something related to possession of drugs (or was it B&E?) We won the case playing with the sentiment "innocent until proven guilty" and "education right for everyone".

It was child's play. In today's justice reality, you don't get that. That's how we come to have Leverage on air.