Merenung Lembu di Jalanan

It is now 4.13 am. I don't know which crazy bug bit me, but I've been awake since I woke up at 12. My brain aches.

I apologize to anyone who had waited for an update and I offer no excuses for such delay. It has been a very hectic life, though I managed to write snippets of it in the Notepad day by day. Just waiting to upload it, that's it.

Sounds like a lot of work. I'm reverting to my Phlegmatic self right now, and a lot of pushes need to be done before I get up and get going.

I understand the frustration of a hectic life, that's why I take privilege in staying up late and savouring the quietness and the tranquility of the pitch dark night. Let me relax and loosen up for a while. I suppose I deserve my break.

Tomorrow's another day of work. I've to purchase stuffs for IFF, finish my assignments, gear up for a visit from Papa and the gang and try to make room for ABC with Kak Aini.

Wondering why I didn't finish my assignment today? Well, it's my break, remember? Who in their right mind will finish assignment on break day?

Well, I used to a couple of weeks ago. When I was Choleric Atiqah. Now I'm Phlegmatic Atiqah. Hoho.

p/s: Starting to be annoyed with my too-relaxed self. This post is pure crap. I'll have it deleted soon.

Hari Rehat Para Pejuang

Today is Sunday. My last weekend for this week.

I'm staring at the park outside Kolej Cemara. People are jogging, some walking, and a father is teaching his son the exquisite art of playing badminton.

Such lovely day. I should be joining them.

Instead, I'm sitting at Cemara Cafe with another three; the Pak Cik and Mak Cik Cafe and Raziq, waiting for my laundry to finish.

I've just finished typing the paperwork for Salam Wida' and am struggling to finish the alterations made to our MEP Dinner's tentative.

At 9 a.m sharp, I should be waiting for Puan Umi at the entrance of our college. She'll be picking seven of us up to go to her house to practice cooking for our upcoming IFF. I'm not sure whether I can make it on time or not. I still need to wait for my laundry, finish the tedious paperwork and bathe.

Have I told you how wasted I am now? About my puking in the sink this morning? No? Well, I won't say so, then.

A lot pitied me, you know. Most prominent worriers are guys, which embarrass me quite. Akmal told me not to come to Puan Umi's house and rest instead; I had a hell of a week with their absence.

I declined him. He wasn't being rational with that suggestion. I have to go; I'm in-charge of the food for IFF!

He succumbed afterwards, after I replied his sms with, "I'm still alive, and what doesn't kill us makes us tougher."

I'm a stubborn lass, am I not? I'll have my break at the BTN, no worries.

Asyraf sms-ed me earlier this morning regarding the flash presentation needed for our dinner. He was involved in last night's INPRO Closing Night march and also in-charge for the MPSI, UiTM Quality Day and MEP dinner's performances.

He deserves a break. So I told him to hold it down first. I am kind, am I not? I should be kind to myself, too.

Have a happy day, everyone.

p/s: I slept on the floor last night, which was brilliant at first (I woke up real early). Now my back hurts.

Modest 18

10.45 p.m.

Atiqah and Hazirah were revising Chemistry. Atiqah's head dropped to the table.

"You wanted to sleep?"

"No, just lagging."

"Sleep on your bed. Your back's gonna ache."

It already is. "Wake me in 5 minutes, please."

11.03 p.m.

"Assalamualaikum! Atiqah!" Hamizah and Nuha came dashing in. Atiqah sat up straight and stared at the happy faces.

"Were you asleep?" Hamizah enquired, head tilted to the right.

Blinked. "Not supposed to. Ask Hazirah."

They chuckled, and proceeded to discuss on updates on the lecturer's t-shirts, upcoming MEP dinner and International Food Fair.

Atiqah remained awake. Am I forgetting something? She stared at her watch. 11.45 p.m. Nope, maybe not.

Nuha excused herself to go back home. Soon Hamizah followed, after piling her pictures of their Frisbee group into Atiqah's Haizen.

12.00 a.m.

Phone alerted her of an incoming message. From Kamilah.

Oh yeah, she smiled. I'm 18 already, hoho. How could I forget?

12.05 a.m.

Heard footsteps running outside the main door. Stood stirring her Nescafe + Milo and faced the door.

Nuha and Raihaana dashed in, squeezing between the frame as to enter the house first.

"Atiqah!" Both in unison. "Happy birthday!"

She chuckled.

"Here, from me." Nuha grinned her Noga Nany soft nouget.

She took it gratefully. "Haha, thank you." Perhaps a bit sheepishly.

"I've got something for you, too." Raihaana fished something out of her pocket.

"Same nouget?"

"Here." Atiqah held her hand out to accept Rai's identical nouget as Nuha's, albeit a bit squashed.

The four of them (don't forget Hazirah) laughed. Atiqah contemplated on her inability to make herself a card this year.

"Were we the first?" They asked.

"Fourth and fifth; you guys tied." Atiqah continued stirring her NestLo. "First was my muallimah. She was a month early."

"Second?" Raihaana asked after her fit of laughter.

"A classmate from SMI. A day early. Third was Kamilah. Exactly at 12."

"Wow." They nodded in recognition. "She's still here?"

"Sure, still in Damansara."

Maybe treat ourselves to a slice of cake this evening?
Sure. Oh, cannot. We've to review that place for our MEP dinner.
Oh yeah. Maybe next time.

"I'm fourth." Nuha said, facing Rai.

"No, I was earlier than you."

"I'm first."

"Me!"

Atiqah stared in amusement. A second message entered her inbox. Fatimah. She smiled gratefully.

"You guys were spoiling our surprise for her." Hazirah said, still seated facing her Chemistry notes. "We housemates planned to feign forgetfulness."

Third message that night entered. Along's. Her grin widened.

Nuha and Raihaana laughed. Atiqah remained stirring, contend with amusing herself at people's rememberence of her birthday. They chatted.

12.15 p.m.

Nuha and Rai excused themselves from the not-so-homey house with a packet of sira-ed keropok flown in directly from Kelantan. Atiqah grabbed her handphone to reply the birthday wishes with deliberate care.

Typed the entry for a message to Mama. All of a sudden, the handphone blanked itself. Battery flat. Inwardly she groaned.

25 July: Frisbee in Midst of Azan

We're having our INTEC INPRO right now and I've just finished my fair share of Frisbee with the girls. It was great fun!

We've never played Frisbee before, and lucky for us Abang Hafiz (Master Pocho-Pocho), an ADFP senior taught us our backhand during our first official practice day. After him, Kak Nadia, Kak Ili and Kak Bella (Nabila) from AL trained us for two evenings straight.

We've got great seniors, haven't we?

First it was MEP girls versus ADFP/ACTP girls. 3-2. Not bad for underdogs.

Second was MEP girls versus AL seniors who taught us. The match was fun and everyone was being a good sport.

1-6. It was masters against amateurs. I'm proud of our one score, though.

It's a good thing I'm into sports at INTEC. It's the only way to meet and greet seniors, other than say Assalamualaikum during bumps at the crowded sughoyyir-awi surau.

There is another reason why I heart those seniors of mine.

Kak Bella was among the game officers. Right before the Asar azan commence, she hailed through the hailer. "Stop the game now! Azan, azan! Everyone, stop!"

So we did. I smiled and sat quietly. Though the Chinese ADFP/ACTP students and their Malay teacher on my right did not.

Nor did some of the Russian male players in the middle of the field.

Form afar, I can see Kak Bella with her finger on her lips reprimanding the ignorant Malay boys. They shut up afterwards, though. I was looking forward to seeing their marks got deducted.

Automatically we said our prayers after the azan ended. Immediately afterwards, Kak Bella sounded the alarm for us to resume playing.

The Russian boys were still with their doa. "Relaks r, kak! Kami tengah baca doa ni!"

Dude, so slow. We rolled our eyes in unison.

The girls stayed back to watch MEP guys playing against ALG. I've to rush back to college; my futsal training starts at 5.15. Our match is tomorrow! Wah!

p/s: The end result for girls was AL first, followed by MEP and ADFP/ACTP.

MEP guys got third out of six. Not bad, not bad at all. Currently MEP is at number three, compared to last year's abysmal six. Do wish us the best in your prayers.

We got the M!
We got the E!
We got the P!
We got the M E P!
Takbir!
ALLAHUAKBAR!
-MEP girls' Frisbee chant-

Marriage Woes

Today, my diligent self rose early, made the bed, took a 40-minute bath (crazy) and washed yesterday's clothes.

After that, I walked to Masjid Al-Hidayah in the middle of the crowd for our Latihan Nuqaba' 2 under the morning rain.

The program was comprehensive and left me thinking about a lot of things. We discussed on the practicality of dai'e in dealing with mad'u during one-on-one approach.

There were two slots. The first one lacked momentum on my part with my notebook to testify on my nodding off once in a while during the ustaz's speech.

Kak Khansa' on my right kept shoving me candies and massaging my arm. I'm sure my inner self was doing that on purpose just to get the special treatment.

The second slot was fun. Kak Khansa' and Akh Dhany presented their Dakwah Fardhiyah di Lapangan and it was real practical. I'm glittering with enthusiasm to get this DF going already.

I met Fatah Ismail there. He still retain his smug look and bushy hair.

"Kata pergi Mesir."

"Persediaan 3 bulan dekat INTEC dulu."

"Oh." He broke into a huge grin. "Nampak gemuk."

"Kurang ajar." I smirked.

Kak Aniisah gave me this book, 'Aku Terima Nikahnya' by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil. I've finished reading the book and it is very illuminating. It put out my intention to coax my brother into marrying before I fly to Cairo.

And it makes me wonder whether marrying during fourth year of study is a good idea or a cathasthrope.

*shrugs* Let's bother ourselves with that question once I have someone to marry with.

Buddy System Closing Night

Last night was the closing night for Buddy System Program and each block had to send a team of performers for the Performance Competition.

My housemate Idayu was one of them and she had been pestering me for a total of five minutes last week that I just have to cave in.

You would, too, if you saw what she did to coax me into joining.

"Ala, Atiqah," she advanced towards me contentedly minding my own business.

"Jom la join."

"Jangan datang dekat." I frowned.

"Atiqah, join la." She started that intimidating smile of her.

"Main jauh-jauh, orang kata!"

"Atiqah, join la."

"Tak nak! Ana masyghulah!"

"Atiqah, join la~"

"Tak nak! Idayu! Lepas! ARGH! Lepas! Main jauh-jauh!"

"Atiqah, join la. Dua orang lagi tak nak. Kita dua join sekali la."

"Idayu! Let go! Geli wei!"

"Join la."

"Okay, okay! Saya join! Now lepas!"

And I was free, but I lost. I started to think how lucky those two sniggering housemates (Tasnim and Hazirah) of mine were.

So you had me, one green-clad girl frowning at the prospect of her singing 'Hijau' along with ten others.

I can't believe I've landed myself into this.

Like, I know my voice is sweet but singing is just not my thing. But it's too late to back off now; I'll just dishearten the team.

So last night, we walked to Dataran Cemara and sat on the dusty ground, waiting for our turn.

I commited into memory the small crowd gathering in front of the stage. No borderline between the female and male. They squeezed among themselves, being comfortable with talking and sitting next to each other.

How sweet. If only they're married.

First block presented. I watched wearily as three white tudung-clad girls and another three free-hair climbed upon the stage claiming their mauduq as 'We're All in This Together'.

The music started.

The girls danced.

The crowd cheered. The males whistled.

I automatically stared at the ground, aghast. I need to get out of there before I wrench off any of their heads.

So I stood up, headed towards our Head of Block and said, "I'm sorry, I'm out."

And like the wind, I walked away.

Perhaps it wasn't wise at all. My departure conveyed no message whatsoever, but I just couldn't stand being there.

INTEC's over-social life is disheartening. My fragile heart just couldn't let me stare and so nothing. There is no such thing as being okay with things that should never be considered okay.

Welcome to the real world, Atiqah.

p/s: I came back to watch our block's performance. Then I went for dinner with the crowd. I'll write about it soon.

There're Lazy Days Around, Too

Today is a quiet day. I woke up after Subuh at 9 and took a pleasantly slow cold shower. Had my breakfast of hot milo and three biscuits.

Now I'm staring at Haizen, unsure whether to start my Ophthalmology in Islam assignment or the Lipid Diffusion.

Finally I settled on reading Fanfiction.net and make-uping my Friendster profile.

I am such a deliberate genius, aren't I?

I have a date with Dr. House at 12 pm. I suppose I better get going now. Have a nice weekend, minna-san.

A few minutes later...

I'm back. Quite frustrated, really, but nothing I can't hide behind my enchanting smile. He didn't turn up.

I should wait for him, probably.

Now I'm back in front of Haizen, sipping milk as loudly as I can. Not that there are any etiquette police around.

Milk is good to keep my hormones in check.

I've checked my calendar and the nearest assignment dateline is for my Lipid Diffusion presentation. I should bid you fellows adieu and start head-long into it, shouldn't I?

Tasnim is having her RM4 lunch and she's coaxing me into buying mine now. I'm on a diet actually, which consisted of milo and biscuits for breakfast, low-fat milk for lunch, tea for tea and nasi for dinner.

And probably throw in some keropok in between. If I can find decend one laying around. Shah Alam's keropok aren't as delish as Kelantan's or Terengganu's.

Now that reminds me. A classmate of mine has gone back to Terengganu. Let see if he could handle some more keropok in his luggage.

I've rambled, I know. I should get my footing now.

Again, have a nice weekend, minna-san.

27 June: Flying Home

I went back to Kelantan from LCCT and arrived safely around 10 pm. Papa and Hakim whisked me from the airport, the latter grinning albeit a little querily from what he used to.

The house's renovation was doing fine and the second floor has been uprighted. Quite stable it is now, every time the male labourers depart back for their home, the female workers will take over.

Namely Yaya, Hakim and our neighbours Amirah, Atiqah, and Humairah.

The day after, Papa brought me to the PC Fair and bought me a TravelMate 6292. 12'' screen and prized at RM3,988.

Papa and the Syahrul salesdude were conversing on the RAM, the weight, a warranty, the whatsit and all those computer medical thingy.

I was caught staring foolishly with mouth agape at the prize tag.

"Is the warranty valid in Cairo?" was the only question I could ask without being obvious on my lack of computer literacy.

"It is in Egypt."

"Good, then."

"Where are you furthering your studies?"

"There. In medicine."

"No wonder." He grinned and addressed Papa. "I was a bit perplexed when you wanted to buy such gadgy laptop for your daughter. Most people opted for a less sophisticated brand."

As of Papa's principle, buy the quality.

It came with complementary 1GB USB drive, LCD cleaner, notebook lock, optical mouse and Sony mousepad.

My parents have always supported me in uncountable ways. I'm at loss of word.

A heartful gratitude is in order.

The Known Stranger

She entered the room. Swept her glance across the inhabitants, seeing the faces she knew. She smiled and walked towards them.

She saw him sitting at the back, religiously writing. He looked up for a fleeting second and returned his gaze to his paper. She smiled curtly.

Sauntering towards Isaac, she stood next to him and asked a question which she could not recall. He answered accordingly, lacking the usual enthusiasm.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see him stealing glances. Like he always did whenever she wasn't hanging around him. Inwardly she grinned. Something's constant, at least.

Just as he started on another glance, she turned her head slightly towards him and cast a genuine smile. He stared at her in silent, his lack of playful smile and mischievous glint didn't go unnoticed.

To say her heart was crushed would be the understatement of the year.

And she woke up with a jerk.

A New Day

Awoken by the ringing of handphone. Ignored.

"Atiqah, wake up."

"Okay." I mumbled sleepily and reached for the screaming Sony Ericsson without as much as opening my eyes. Hit the snooze button.

"Atiqah, wake up." Again, the sleepy voice of Tasnim encouraged me to get up and going.

"Just gimme 5 mo' minutes."

"Okay."

And that 5 minutes dragged on for a further 25. The handphone screamed again and I woke up dazed. Repressed the urge of throwing the small devil to the wall and stood up.

Stretched.

Reached for the tortoise-shell hair clip and slipped on the slippers. Felt my night shirt sticking on my back. Noticed someone had turned off the fan during my sleeping hour.

Scowled slightly.

Switched on every single light in the living room. Turned the fan full blast. Caught a glimpse of me in the mirror on the way to the sink.

Paused to smile at the reflection.

Brushed my teeth. Gurgled. Brushed my teeth again. Love the refreshing minty flavour.

Proceeded to take my wudhu'. Solat tahajud.

Solat taubat.

Solat hajat.

Had a two-minute shut-eye. On cue, the Subuh prayer azan broke the silence of the dawn.

Tasnim, Idayu and Hazirah emerged from their rooms. I glanced at them with a curt smile.

A new day has just begun.

20 May: INTEC Registration Day

Currently at Pak Long's house. Watched the latest episode of Chi's Sweet Home. In good mood :)

Registration day at INTEC was quite efficient and jiffy. We arrived at 8-ish and were ushered inside the compound by the ever helpful guards and seniors acting as facilitators or PM as they call themselves.

PM as in Pembantu Mahasiswa.

They gave us this convenient checklist of what I'm supposed to do throughout the day's process.

We parked our Toyota Innova and walked towards the Dewan Serbaguna for the registration. Parents were to wait outside under the shade of canopy with complementary water and bread.

I registered myself and got the key for my apartment to be shared with three others. Kak Hidayah ushered me towards Block 2 and I walked myself up to the third floor where I will reside in room 302 for the next three months.

As the first occupant around, I was entitled for furniture number 1 and I checked around for any flaws. The apartment was clean, laid with tikar getah, water ran smoothly out of every available pipe and the sockets worked perfectly.

Not bad.

I fetched my parents and we laid out my stuff as the second occupant came in.

It was Tasnim.

She just gotta stick around, does she? We were in the same elementary school, same secondary, same college, even the same room!

Oh well. At least I get to bully her.

It was 9.30 and the JPA officers have just arrived. Their grateful scholars had to go meet them to hand in all documents and agreements.

Three counters were opened for scholars for Korea-bound, Middle East-bound and Russia-bound.

The scholars for MEP were the most plentiful of all. 158 all in all.

Afterwards, we were taken by bus towards the nearest Bank Islam branch to pay our registration fees. We brought along our payment slip printed out from INTEC's website.

Settle that and we're free as a bird until 3.30 in the afternoon. Taklimat Penempatan Kolej.

Good food [with humongous serving] was served for us during this first week, which was called Minggu Mesra Siswa. It's orientation minus ragging and aerobic and loaded with fun.

I shall be discreet on the event of MMS. Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for future students, now, would we? *winks*

p/s:
This year is the first time KEMENTAH send theirs boys for preparation in INTEC to do medicine in the land of Putin. I'm flattered.

MTD... Marching... Impossibly shiny shoes...

I'd be dead out of dehydration.


p/s 2:
Along wrote a blog post on me. So does Kak Raja.

Atiqah is famous. It's common knowledge, people.

*inhales. Brushes aside that aching feeling of missing him and smirks for the moment.*

19 May: His Sicky Day

On the highway towards Shah Alam. Fatimah called.

I've bad news. Your beloved hubby is in my mom's clinic now.

Who? Oh. What?

I could hardly recognize him. He look feverish.

Can you talk to him?

His father has been hugging him since he got here. He hasn't seen my mom yet.


Oh. If you do get the chance, please send him my regard and let him know I wish him a speedy recovery.

Okay.

Thanks Fatimah.

Sure.

p/s: Gotta run!

Closure, Perhaps?

Parked the car outside school. Saw his car coming up. He exited with that haish pose of him.

The shook of the head, the sigh, the small grin and that fidgeting attitude.

I carved a small smile.

Entered the school and saw Haikal exiting. "Teacher! Raja wanted to give you a present!"

"Yes, Haikal, that's what I'm here for." I grinned. "And to meet you guys."

He walked on backwards and accompanied me to the class.

The banats saw me and rushed over. The salamed my hands and chatters began.

I side-stepped into the class and saw what usually happen in class. Hazim was wrestling with Haiqal as he chatted up with me.

Multi-tasker.

"Nice decorations you guys have here. Won the trophy yet?"

"Not yet." Hazim continued wrestling.

Raimi was facing me, yet his eyes were on Majdi and Aqil as the three mousketeers talked.

"Hey Raimi." No reaction. "How come you didn't come to my house?"

"He didn't get the card." Raja replied as he hand over the present Kak Raja gave me. I thanked him profusely, digging out what was inside.

"Teacher, you have Raimi's number?" Raja suddenly piped out.

"Huh?"

Hazim repeated the question. I glanced at our silent prefect. "I don't. Why?"

They disregarded my question. Oh well. Kids have the attention span of a goldfish, don't they? They only remember who feeds them; give and take.

"Hazim, send my regards to others."

"Don't want to." Same old answers. I smiled. Smart-brat kids express the opposite of what they really think, don't they?

I exited the class as they all shuffle pass for their morning line-ups. Raimi was nearby, not talking.

"Raimi," He remained his grin yet he faced sideways. "Send my regards to Ikbal."

Was that a "Ha." and a nod?

I grinned. "See you guys around."

Deliberate non-responsive. He is so easy to read. That's the Raimi I know for approximately 50 days.

He miss me. Kak Raja confirmed that on Friday.

But it would be much better had he say it.

That reminds me of a quote. "Women are like the cops. They could have all the evidents in the world, but they still want the confession."

*smirks*

I'll miss them, I know I would. Maybe even more than I miss my family. I can always call home, but how do you contact a group of Year 3 kids?

Aha! Birthday cards!

p/s: I only remember a boy who's birthdate was three days before mine. And Ikbal was born in early March if I'm not mistaken.

Urgh. I'm hopeless.

Who are You?

Let's do Kameelah's tag while we're at it, shall we?

Assalamualaikum wbt. Hi. My name is Nur Atiqah. Pak Cik Noordin Zainal Abidin named me and my parents gave their consent because, according to mom, "The name sounds nice."

I was supposed to be named Nur Hana Akmal. Imagine that.

I usually shorten my name to Atiqah Hanifah, though I go by Atiqah Jamaludin when I studied in West End State School, Brisbane.

Atiqah means the chosen, the honourable. I like my name and am proud of it.

Nur: Being called this is not that favourable, but it's part of the package. So far, only one person ever call me this. The driving instructor, Cikgu Nik Mohammad.

Lucky guy.

Atiqah: By most of the world population.

Tiqah: People at comfort level.

Iqah: Cikgu Ashikin, another driving instructor and this female chatting buddy. It's awkward.

Ika: Only family get away with calling me this. Hey, if I treat everyone the same, who will I treat special?

Ikah: My auntie Chik Na.

Tiqah-kun: Fayyadh Azmi and Suad Saaban.

Kakak/Kak: My beloved juniors at SMI and SRI. Even current 4 Ikhlas kids call me kak, instead of the supposedly teacher.

Kids. Their adorableness gets them off my deadly hook.

Kak Tiqah: Juniors.

Kak Tiq: Najwa of Amalin Aisya School.

Kak Rue: Amirah Nik Mazian only.

Kak Ngah: My mom and siblings, plus several banats of Amirah's batch. Those include little Munirah and mischievous Sakinah.

I haven't seen those two for a while. Man, gotta catch up.

Angah: Hakim only.

Teacher: My deerest adik-adik at SRI!

Muallimah: My deerest adik-adik at SRI, too!

Ibu palsu: Laugh, people. Raimi once referred to me using this. I recalled a post on this event.

Cikgu: My aunts and uncles as a result of me taking up teaching.

Doctor: My aunts and uncles as a result of me furthering in medicine.

Haru/Kaoru/Ruriko: A series of internet encounters.

Rue: Rahim Nik Mazian only. I was RueMitsui in Maple Story.

Mitsui: Ah. Vintage. Hisashi Mitsui of the infamous Slam Dunk by Takahiko Inoue is my all-time favourite character. He's a deviously handsome guy struggling with his past.

Am I? Supposedly not.

Master of three-point though his lack of stamina after his rebellious days kept him weaken during games. But he's a man of strong will.

So am I.

Mits: Milah only.

Miss Mitsui: Fayyadh Azmi only.

Quite a list we have here. Very well. I take my bow now, wishing everyone a happy days ahead.

Take care, people.