However tempting it is to do bad things like slash tyres or burn things, God is with the patients.

As a human, I fully understand and appreciate that accident happens and life is tragic. Period. Add to that, as a doctor-to-be, I fully understand and appreciate that no good doctors would deliberately harm a patient and one accident should not blind you of the hundreds good job done.

There's nothing I can do about facts that are not in favour of me, so I prayed for God's forgiveness for every wrongdoings that we had done and for Him to make this easier for me. I cannot afford to worsen my trust issue and distrust the only of the very few dentists I would trust and my educated opinion dictated I cannot bolt out of the clinic with a bleeding hole in the floor of my mouth.

"Relax. I've never seen you this anxious before," that beloved big bro of mine calmly said with one finger in my mouth trying to stop the bleeding. I threw him a death glare that screamed "YOU THINK?"

The only thing I can control is how I feel about it so to make myself happier about this incident, I imagined burning my brother's bed (because burning his room will have greater effect on the rest of our house) and slashing his tyres as he worked to ensure hemostasis.

It worked for the first few hours, or maybe it was just my relief from being able to get out of there. But now I'm upset because I have a suture near the base of my tongue and I'm not always in control of my tongue to not have it pressing on the knot.

I'm writing this in an effort to make me feel better. But edited hours later, let me update you that the effort failed.

Since I studied Surgery, I know for fact that immobilisation favours healing thus I fear the wound would take more time to heal or worse infected or bleed, since my tongue kept knocking on it as I chew my food. This made me more upset. I quietly finished what little I had for break fast and my mom asked me if I wanted porridge.

What I wanted, I told her as I got up to wash my dishes, was to burn things.

Third edit: I cried a bit because I was miserable. Then I went on FB and remembered there are people more unfortunate than me crying over an inconveniently placed suture and that slapped me out of my sissiness and humbled me. I no longer want to burn things.