"Let's go break the law just one more time."

"Muallimah, kira kita present tadi mantap dah ke?"

"Ye, mantap. Tahniah." Angguk-angguk. "Tapi mesti lagi mantap kalau nota ada."

"Kita pergi solat terawih, muallimah!"

"Ape banat tak solat terawih ke?"

"Diorang uzur, muallimah!"

The class laughed.

"Hah?" Mouth dropped. "Mulut, ya Rabbi..."

"Isu sensitif tu!" A banin chirped.

"Ok, ok. Dah." Laughter resided. "Kumpulan seterusnya dipersilakan."

One banat got up and passed around neatly-typed notes for the whole class. She took her spot, ready to present her part on Khalifah Ali Abu Talib.

The class shuffled in focus.

"Aslmwbt."

The earlier banin replied in a sing-song voice.

"Jangan layan dia. Teruskan."

He sniggered.

"Pertama sekali, nota ini saya buat semalam, selepas balik dari solat terawih."

Laughter enrupted. With a huge grin, the teacher set to the banins and said, "Ambik!"

"Ahhh. Buat semalam. Kita tak main buat kerja last minit ni."

Males. They just gotta win.

Lessons:
-Be in control of your time.
-Less excuses, more productivity.
-Make nice notes.

The next day...

"Kenapa lembik je ni? Bersemangat sikit nak belajar!"

"Semalam kita i3tikaf, muallimah!"

Crisp

Seorang guru masuk ke bilik guru perempuan.

"Muallimah, ana amik masa Quran muallimah dengan tingkatan 2 lepas ni boleh?"

Guru tersebut tersengih lega. "Ustaz nak amik semua masa ana pun, ambillah."

"Terima kasih la muallimah. Sebab tiga-tiga masa ana minggu depan habis [sebab cuti Nuzul Quran]."

"Bulan-bulan puasa ni, ustaz nak amik masa ana pun boleh." Seorang guru lain berseloroh. "Rajin Ustaz Amin."

"Nak buat macam mana, dah amanah." Ustaz tersebut berkata.

Seorang 'guru' yang hampir tertidur dek membuat nota Sejarah tersedar dengan segera.

Amanah. Okay there, get to work.

Pop! Goes the Wea~sel

"Occam's razor. The simplest answer is usually correct."

"Usually. But not always."

Life is about how you deal with changes.

If it's towards the better, then it's how you work your way maintaining it and to being a devoted, grateful servant.

If it's headed for the south, then it's how you fix it. Leech on it till the table turns towards the good.

It put your resilience to the test. The ultimate push of patience and passion.

Unfortunately, those are two things I'm seriously lacking.

Life can never be defined by logic. Even the basis of atheism itself was laid upon the presence of an unexplained great force.

If it's all about logic, I suggest we make a case study on;
1) how I passed through first year of medical study with my kind of attitude,
2) my fixation for Maple.

The simplest answer will be;
1) I cheated,
2) ...

I dunno. I'm more of a fiction kind of person. You know, the one who twisted up Alice in Wonderland so it'll be killer White Rabbit marching up with Knight and Jabberwock against the eeevil Keith brothers.

I feel old.

Alone is not Lonely

Woke up. Blinked. The light was on. Could have sworn she turned it off before retiring yesterday.

There was only the two of them in the apartment, so...

"Did you woke me up?" She croaked towards her right.

Yuuno shuffled in his pen.

"Oh, thanks."

Performed her morning ritual. Made her compulsory coffee-flavored milk and walked back towards her room.

Placed the mug on the table. Booted her laptop.

Opened the balcony door wide. Sniffed the fresh morning air.

Necessities yet to pack. Furnitures yet to dissemble. Shopping list yet to be finished.

Cannot help but sigh.

"You know, I could really use a hand right now."

Yuuno stared up and met her eyes.

She nodded. "I'll go get your breakfast."

Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah

2 July 09
Venue: Genena Mall
Time: 3.00pm
Activity: Transformers: Rise of The Fallen

"Eee Optimus! Tembak la bagi kene!"

Venue: Baitun Nuha
Time: 8.00pm
Activity: Memburu Carinox

"Erk, ubat selsema aku ada dengan kau, kan?"

"Haah. Nah. Panadol kau pun."

"Terima kasih."

Venue: Bait Hanan
Time: 12.00am
Activity: Meratah ayam masak merah Raja.

"Ana selsema." Kunyah ayam. "Rasa cam nak demam."

Letak tangan atas dahi. Muka overexcited. "Haah la! Anti demam!"

"Oi! Jangan maen cakap je!"

3 July 09
Venue: Belakang Metro
Time: 8.50am
Activity: Berjalan ke Bait Khaulah

Panas. Berhenti jap tepi jalan takpe?

Batuk. Adeh, nak bersin!
Wargh, mane tissue?!

Venue: Kasr Mawaddah
Time: 11.30am
Activity: Melepak atas katil senior.

Panas.
Malas balik takpe?

Venue: Imarah 20
Time: 12.00pm
Activity: Merenung lubang di pintu.

Hmm. Kenapa mereka tak tutup-tutup lagi lubang ni?
Pernah dengar istilah kertas dan salotep tak?
Leceh betul semua benda nak kene sendiri buat.

Venue: Meja study, Baitun Nuha
Time: 1.00pm
Activity: Chat dengan mak.

Mama: Jangan keluar rumah.

Tidak!!!

Venue: Meja study, Baitun Nuha
Time: 2.30pm
Activity: Tidur.

Terjaga jam 5.30pm.
Alhamdulillah. Mantap. Belakang dan tengkuk tak sakit despite tidur dekat meja.
Yet.

Merenung kalendar cuti.

Ada dua benda wajib beli.
Ada empat tempat wajib pergi.
Ada lima benda wajib buat untuk imarah.
Ada dua senior perlu di-consult.

Wajib selesaikan sebelum 15hb Julai.

Hmm.
Fokus pada pemulihan.
Buat apa yang boleh dengan usaha yang terbaik.
Selebihnya dalam tanganNya.

In the mean time, sambung tidur.

Baitun Nuha

Mari berkenalan.

Atiqah, Yuuno, Ara-chi, Rodhi, Lin.

Kami ahli SS501 Baitun Nuha.

Ketua rumah adalah Atiqah [the ebil mastermind] yang suka membayar bil.

Yuuno [the quiet peeble monster] adalah ibarat Squirtle kepada Ash yang membawa diri berkat kealpaan Atiqah memberinya makan.

Bendahari adalah Rodhi [the referee] yang serius kupik dan sering dibuli penghuni imarah untuk memanggil ambuba.

Ara-chi [the one who won't take your crap] adalah yang bersemangat keusahawan dengan membuka perkhidmatan pondok telefon bagi memudahkan Zahidah dan sebagainya untuk telefon ke rumah di Malaysia.

Lin [the dramatic one] pula adalah makhluk yang suka pasang lagu raya di pagi hari. Wahaha~

Kami adalah rumah yang tidak membeli sotong kerana Rodhi alergik serta tidak membeli ayam kerana menurut Jeneral Atiqah, ayam tidak berbaloi untuk dibeli.

Untuk bermesra dan bertegur sapa, sila jangan segan ke tingkat 1 Imarah 20, sementara kami masih ada. Jika ada keropok sila la bawa.

Penggal baru, insyaAllah Baitun Nuha akan dikosongkan.

Harapan saya adalah:

1) Kalian yang sering keluar masuk imarah membina rasa tanggung jawab diri dengan masing-masing mempunyai kunci utama imarah yang berfungsi.

2) Kalian tidak membuli ahli tingkat 1 untuk berurusan dengan ambuba.

3) Kalian membayar bil-bil pada waktu yang tepat tanpa diingatkan terlalu banyak kali.

4) Kalian hidup dengan mantap.

Baiklah. Semoga kalian terus sihat dan ceria.

And Siput Crawls

kimi, i need help!
Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]
Saturday, June 20, 2009 7:06 PM
To: [applepancake@yahoo.com]
baitunnuha.jpg (17KB)

aslmwbt kimi
yo there
i need ur comment on this edited picture
asap
hit me back
please
thanks

Atiqah Hanifah,
Cairo University


urm, hit me back, will u?
Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]
Saturday, June 20, 2009 7:10 PM
To: [applepancake@yahoo.com]

urm
i know u'r busy and so
but
uh
can u, like, hurry up?

Atiqah Hanifah,
Cairo University


wargh! kimi!!
Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]
Saturday, June 20, 2009 7:14 PM
To: [applepancake@yahoo.com]

and to think that i said please...
huhu
u r online, right?
how come u'r not replying?

Atiqah Hanifah,
Cairo University


never mind
Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]
Saturday, June 20, 2009 7:17 PM
To: [applepancake@yahoo.com]

i give up
i posted the pic anyway
thanks siput

Atiqah Hanifah,
Cairo University

p/s: when we meet, i am so going to lempang u. oh yes sweet revenge.


Re: never mind
Jess Russell [applepancake@yahoo.com]
Sunday, June 21, 2009 4:23 AM
To: [haru_9630@yahoo.com]

hey atiqah
sorry, i think u sent those emails to the wrong person
i’m not kimi
the name's jess

whatever ‘lempang’ means, it sounds nasty
hope u’ll forgive that kimi friend of yours :)

btw, what does 'siput' means?

Jess Russell

p/s: the attached pic is a beau. i like the one with the tortoise. nice shading, and i like the blue sky.


Re: never mind
Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]
Sunday, June 21, 2009 6:07 AM
To: [applepancake@yahoo.com]

i am so sorry! TT-TT
it was my fault; i forgot her email was applepiepancake, instead of applepancake
‘lempang’ is slap in Malay, btw. and 'siput' is snail.
huhu

u’r a good sport
thanks jess :)
happy days to you

Atiqah Hanifah,
Cairo University

p/s: thanks. magnificent creation, the sky is :)


Re: never mind
Jess Russell [applepancake@yahoo.com]
Monday, June 22, 2009 12:46 AM
To: Atiqah Hanifah [haru_9630@yahoo.com]

no sweat
nice days, atiqah

Jess Russell


Pengajaran:

O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer;
for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.
(2:153)

العجلة من الشيطان والتأني من الله تعالى

Bersabar dengan siput.

Kerana Kami Sayang Imarah 20

Dear akak-akak of Imarah 20,

Just something for you guys to look forward to :)


27th June is the day we finish our Physio oral. Hopefully we will do our bestest and let the anticipation of flying home be our accelerator.

And be happy when Rasulullah said that whoever travels on the road in search of knowledge, Allah will ease him the path to Paradise.

Gotong Royong Imarah 20

Because العقل السليم في جسم السليم, let us celebrate the end of final exam by sweating out cleaning the entire Imarah 20 from the sutuh till the front step.

I know how the sutuh is unsuitable for inhibition, and how dangerous the structure is. What about cleaning its periphery, which leads to the steps descending to Baitul A'ala?

It's a shame we couldn't enjoy our sutuh. Remind me to ask Dr. Mokhtar about it.

Asmak Abdullah will be in-charge, so let us all be in this together :)

p/s: Syazni Basiron is in-charge of the food and endless supply of water. [I haven't ask her yet though. Haha.]

Movie Night

At 8.45pm of the same day, there will be a premiere of Occupation 101 at Baitun Nuha.

It's about the occupation in Palestine viewed from humanity aspect.

By faith, we are family, and didn't Rasulullah said that those who are neglectful of the ummah, فليس مننا?

Food will be arranged and everyone is invited.

We'll be arranging for an LCD projector insyaAllah, so feel free to fire up your home-made capub video prior to the premiere.

p/s: Yuuno is the only male invited, so all girls feel free to rock on!


Do participate in all two events :) I'm sure we'll have a blast of time.

p/s: Sape yang patut datang tapi tidak memunculkan diri, siap r.

Nanti aku malas study, aku buat notis betul-betul. Selamat bermesra dengan Histo, semua.

Prayers for Brothers

Muhammad Ammar Zulkifli passed away yesterday following a car crash on the way back from surveying a rehlah site for their batch's ikhwah get-together at Ain Sukhna along with four other friends.

He was a Cairo University medical student of year 3 and a senior from SRI Aman [5th Batch].

May he rest with eternal peace, eased throughout his kubur ordeal with all the solihiin and mujahidiin awaiting him in Jannah.

It's a painfully bitter lesson from Allah. Death certainly does not wait and does not care whether you're ready or not.

Ammar was a great guy. Endless testimonials from his fellow peers and the impression left upon [remnant from SRI times (arwah was head prefect when I was 10, wasn't he?) and during that accidental BPP meeting I somehow attended] were enough to etch him as someone reliable with steady and sensible head.

Perhaps more. He'll be dearly missed.

For the remaining time we have, let's mark this as our turning point.

Let it affects our lives. And don't stop the prayers.

At press time, Abd Rahman Ramdzan has been warded, Akram Abd Kadir is still comatosed, and Saif Jamaluddin and Muhamad Fitri Tokiran suffered minor injuries. Please pray for them.

Together to Cook Door, with Love

Terms to read this post are to read it all the way till the end and berlapang dada. Or you could just be well off-age. Okay?

Today is Syaimaa's birthday. So we went to Cook Door in Manial for lunch.

The day's theme was pink. No, Yuuno didn't have his shelf painted pink because he didn't tag along. I don't think Cook Door serves fresh khus.

Nini, Kira, Hana Akmal, Najie di Cook Door.

As me and Najiha went to the counter to place our order, we scanned the menu and stared at each other.

We boomed out laughing.

Minutes later...

"Korang, dekat Cook Door ada jual Viagra." I said while shoving them the menu brochure.

"Hah??" Syaz's eyes were to laugh at.

"Bikini juga." Jiha added.

They laughed as they fussed over the menu.

"Cuba teka aku pesan apa."

"Cheese burger?"

"Mestilah Viagra." I said with as much poker face I could muster.

They shook the table with their laughter.

Viagra masywi combo. LE28.50.

Why? Because it had crabsticks and shrimps in it. I hadn't had any crabsticks since I came here.

And I wanted to see how the cashier will react if I say, "One Viagra combo, please." But she didn't even bat an eyelid, which sort of left me crestfallen. Oh well.

As of any of Cook Door's serving, it equals that of two portions of my ordinary meal.

So we ate my fries, drank my Coke and only few ate my sandwich.

Oh, and they pulled a lot of cracks about me and my choice of sandwich.

Leftover of half of its original length was carefully wrapped and shoved into my bag.

Towards the end of Syaimaa's birthday celebration, they soon got giddy.

I laughed. "Aku yang makan, korang yang gatal!"

Syaimaa sputtered out what was left of her Mixed Grill. "Ayat tak boleh blah!~"

The day ended happily.

And I sat in front of my laptop, watching the last episode of Special A.

My stomach grumbled. Having rejected dinner earlier to save it for my unfinished lunch, I reached out for said sandwich placed on the top shelf.

I saw an ant.

Alarmed, I pulled open the rest of the wrapper.

And proceeded to let out a hell of shriek.

Gedik: Siap!

Berkat kegedikan, saya mengedit template.

Aduh. Maaf menyerabutkan mata kalian.

Nanti la bila-bila saya kemaskan blog ni.

Edited 20th May, 1108:
Okay, dah siap edit.

Template kartun Korea. Haha. Ianya menggambarkan diskripsi blog ini.

Seterusnya nak letak balik link budak-budak.

In the mean time, korang promotekan lah diri di kotak berbual. Macam yang Juara AF7 suka buat.

[Jangan tekan link tu. Website 21SX.]

Orait. Jom study Histo!

The Joy of Lentils

This post is dedicated to Umai and her PERDESK gang. Also wishing an all the best to the latest member; Atiqah. May you remain faithful to your regime and tajdid your niat always.

Nadh had written a beautiful piece on the ultimate diet; the one taught by our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. So I will not be playing a broken record here.

As I studied Physiology to the point of boredom, I started a new reading on something completely unrelated, which is on lentils.

Kacang dal berlatar belakangkan buku-buku yang tak mula habis baca lagi.

It is publicly known as حمص in Egypt and we Malaysians call it kacang dal.

Lentil, as Wikipedia said, is high in proteins including isoleucine and lysine which are essential amino acids we studied in Biochemistry.

Apart from that, it is also rich in dietary fiber, folate, vitamin B1 and minerals.

And to add some Physiology in this post, lentil is also a good source for iron, which is exceptionally important for hemopoiesis.

Self.com itself suggests lentils as one of the superfoods for weight loss. Being high in proteins and fibers, lentil will be fulfilling quickly and nicely thus making an excellent study companion.

Since those on a diet will most likely succumb to the evil of ghrelin and grab that oh-wickedly-sinful Borio, my suggestion is go grab one of these yellow sunshine instead.

It is satiating, high in nutrients, suitable for people on diet, and only cost LE3.50 for a quarter of kilo!

Go grab your lentils today!

p/s: I'm currently promoting healthy eating style. Which includes no more Twinkies and large bag of Rotato.

Fresh Kill

Atiqah: apa hukum seksa binatang?
Syemak: haram berdosa
Syemak: ko seksa sape?
Atiqah: manade
Atiqah: kalau kita rebus hidup2
Atiqah: kira seksa tak?
Syemak: seksa r tu
Atiqah: ok
Syemak: ko nk rebus yuuno ke?
Atiqah: weh
Atiqah: aku sayang dia la

Semakin kita maju dalam bidang sains, semakin kita purba dalam bidang akhlak dan ketamadunan.

Buktinya, kita merebus udang galah hidup-hidup demi mengekalkan kesegaran rasanya yang manis. Kita juga membela ikan dengan penuh teliti kemudiannya kita rebus hidup-hidup terus dari akuariumnya.


Kita juga membiak ayam tanpa bulu demi menjimatkan kos dan penggunaan air, kerana bulu yang tebal memaksa para penternak di kawasan panas menggunakan penghawa dingin bagi mengekalkan ayam pada suhu 20 darjah.


Kita mengaburi mata hati dengan berpendapat, tanpa bulu untuk ditumbuh, segala nutrien yang diperolehi ayam akan didedikasikan kepada pembinaan otot-otot yang sedap dimakan.

Nafsu sendiri didahului penghormatan terhadap nyawa.

Manusia. Bila mahu bertaubat?

Menyelami Kepala Sendiri

Kerana kebosanan, saya telah membuat kuiz untuk melihat sejauh mana saya dikenali oleh orang sekeliling saya.

Kesan respon mereka, saya berpendapat bahawa saya masih lagi belum dikenali, even oleh teman sebilik saya.

Adakah ianya loophole di dalam ukhuwah kami? Atau saya sahaja yang bersikap misteri macam Kakashi?


Tapi, adakah keakraban persahabatan diukur dari kebolehan menjawab soalan-soalan berikut?

1) Paling suka makan
a) Keropok lekor yang nipis dan rangup
b) Keropok keping
c) Kepok gote!

2) Ringtone saya
a) Selalu berubah-rubah, tetapi semuanya nasyid
b) Selalu berubah-rubah, tetapi semuanya lagu Jepun
c) Selalu berubah-rubah, tetapi semuanya membingitkan

3) Saya paling suka warna
a) Hitam, sebab kalau kotor orang tak nampak
b) Hitam, sebab matching dengan apa-apa warna
c) Hitam, sebab dah suka, nak buat camne?

4) Perkataan pertama bila saya call orang adalah
a) Hello
b) Assalamualaikum
c) Yo

5) Ayah saya panggil saya apa?
a) Ika
b) Atiqah
c) Kak ngah

6) Paling tak suka
a) Berlari
b) Berjalan
c) Naik kenderaan awam

7) Cara tidur
a) Ganas
b) Tidak akan bergerak sampai la dia bangun
c) Merengkot macam fetus di bawah selimut

8) Teknik membunuh serangga [contohnya lipas]
a) Hempuk dengan tenang
b) Hempuk sambil menahan geli
c) Hempuk dengan muka simpati

---

Baiklah, jawapan pula:

1. B
Sebab soalan dia adalah paling suka. Saya suka keropok lekor yang nipis dan rangup, tapi paling suka keropok keping.

Kepok gote, kalau panas sedap juga. Kalau dah sejuk memang tak makan dah. (Sebenarnya, saya akan elak memakan apa-apa sahaja yang dah sejuk.)

2. C
Hampir tepat jawapan B, tapi saya pernah guna lagu Melayu. Kadang-kala sengaja tukar ringtone untuk menjengkelkan Ara.

3. B
I go for practicality.

4. A
Dulu memang mulakan dengan assalamualaikum, tetapi pernah sekali, orang bukan Islam yang angkat panggilan.

Sejak itu, saya memang greet dengan "Hello, assalamualaikum."

5. B
Agak ganjil, tapi ianya benar. Ayah je panggil sedemikian. Oh, and only blood-family gets away with calling me Ika.

Kak ngah adalah panggilan ahli keluarga apabila mak ada. Sebab mak marah adik-adik panggil saya Ika.

6. A
Dulu memang suka berlari, sehingga suatu hari, Muallimah Nazahiyah tegur sebab saya berlari atas court.

Sejak hari itu, saya tidak suka berlari lagi. Even rentas desa anjuran sekolah pun, memang saya berjalan dari awal sampai akhir.

Patut la saya bela kura-kura.

7. B
Kalau dah bergerak tu, maksudnya dah bangun lah tu. Biasanye memang saya akan tidur gaya C, tapi apa-apapun cara, B tetap dipraktikkan.

Despite my active demeanour, I'm a polite sleeper.

8. A
Sebab itulah, sepanjang saya di SMI Aman dan INTEC [even di Mesir ni pun], mesti diorang serahkan hal-hal membunuh lipas kepada saya.

Tak faham kenapa perempuan geli ngan lipas.

---

Setakat ni, cuma Ara, Syaimaa dan Asyraf berjaya dapat 3/8 daripada kuiz ini. Tertinggi la tu. Tahniah saya ucapkan, walaupun tak faham macam mana yang terakhir tu boleh dapat markah sama macam diorang. Pandai menyelami kepala orang? Anda wajar menjadi psychiatrist!

MokNik juga dapat 3/8. MokNik yang sama sekolah rendah dan sekelas dari tingkatan 1 hinggalah 5.

Lepas ni nak tanya Tasnim pulak.

p/s: Atiqah, nampaknya memang ada lubang yang besar dalam ukhuwah kamu.