Thursday, July 04, 2013
PTD triggered by metal dragons
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Eyecargo
When I arrived in front of the exam hall, I greeted my friends.
"Hi guys."
"Didn't you sleep last night?"
"Huh?"
Now where did that came from?
Truth was I slept four hours last night and even managed an hour of rolling around semi-consciously before I really had to get up, alhamdulillah for that.
Then it occurred to me. Perhaps sleep deprivation had etched its mark on me and I could never get the refreshed look back on my face despite the enough sleep I got the night before. They call it eyebag, but mine probably is a cargo. Haha. (Geddit?)
Despite the sleep, I was still beyond sleepy during the exam. Even the Post-Exam Coma was as troublesome as always. But still, I'm always so sleepy. Hmm.
Where has all the keberkatan gone to?
Feeling refreshed is a gift from God. You can sleep an hour at night and still have the strength to get through the day. Strength and refreshment all come from God and He can grant it to any of His deserving servants.
And it shows on your face. Notice how we feel calm at just looking at someone's face? It's their iman lighting them up, a manifestation of their piety.
I'm lacking piety, maybe. Huh.
I am angry because they hurt our brothers and all I could do is pray for them and stop making sins.
The title should explain this. Proceed at own risk.
30 June. Some punks in Egypt staged a rebel against the democratically elected President on the account that he is a hypocrite and Egypt is crumbling under his one year regime. So they decided to throw a Rebel at Tahrir Square, pay thugs to kill his peaceful supporters and burn and loot the Muslim Brotherhood headquarter. Gave him a 48-hour memo to resign and then.. I dunno, what's next?
It is so confusing. I can't brain this stupidity.
First they ousted Mubarak and toppled his 30 years regime of corruption and hogging the country's wealth to his cronies that left the people desperate for their freedom.
And alhamdulillah, the people had spoken and the people had won.
They then democratically elected a new president and the world welcomed Dr. Morsy and the changes he brought.
That's when hidden trouble started to see light.
Imagine if we left the mice to breed havoc and excrete everywhere in our house for a whole month of 30 days. Is it possible for me to get the stink and mould off the wall in just one day?
Alone? No. It is our house, our responsibility. Be and make the changes you want to see.
One day? Hell. Where would we even begin?
And the mice were still in the house, wrecking havoc as we cleaned and effing cleaned. Damn those mice.
It's only one year. We saw in the news Dr. Morsy invited the oppositions to sit and talk and cooperate together for a better Egypt with him but did they accept?
He did one thing, and the punks unravel it. And those average Egyptians who cared more of what food to eat more than they care what food their unborn grand-grandchildren will eat took everything fed to them.
Blame Morsy for the blackouts and never asking why there was shortage in the first place. Blame Morsy for the rubbish in the street and never asking why themselves not stop littering everywhere. Blame Morsy for the prices going up and never asking what have they contributed to the economy besides the violence they brew and slamming Morsy about it.
Some kid could be dying out there and his uneducated parents would probably blame Morsy, too.
Sick.
Because they can't see twenty, ten years ahead. Not even five! They can't see the impact they can have on this world beyond the cocoon Mubarak's sheeping-the-people regime had imprinted onto them. 30 years of making people stupid and living only for themselves. And it is wishful thinking that I hope these people will change. That rotten generation needs to be wiped out for real changes to happen.
They don't want to be taught how to fish. They want fish in front of them, scaled and cooked to scrumptious perfection, stat. They had eaten to'miyyah all their years with Mubarak and now that Mubarak's gone, they expect grilled chicken and kofta for every meal of the day.
Congratulations Mubarak. And pity those who fell prey to him. May God grant you wisdom to the right path.
And for the thinking people, those who stand up for what's right for the country and the future.. May God forever be merciful on you.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Honour God, respect the man, love the lady, protect the kids.
When a husband felt truly respected, a wife felt truly loved, the children felt protected and God truly honoured, the marriage can withstand anything.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Homemade Kicap Soya
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Iman Budak Syria
Sementara tunggu viva start pagi tadi, study sebelah Aisyah. Aisyah cerita yang Iman budak Syria dalam kelas diorang tu tak amik O&G tahun ni.
"Eh. Kenapa. Dia tahun berapa sebenarnya?"
Iman tahun lima, sama dengan kami. Dia transfer kredit daripada universiti dia di Damsyik dan datang belajar di Kasr el-Ainy sejak lebih kurang tujuh bulan lepas.
Walaupun dia transfer kredit, banyak je subjek praklinikal yang dia kena amik. Aisyah enumerate tadi, banyak juga. Physio, Pharma, dan sebagainya. Semua tu dia kena ambil tahun ni.
"Sebab tu dia tak ambil O&G tahun ni. Dia amik tahun depan. Paeds dia ambil. Dia end round sekali dengan kita haritu. Dia dapat 80 lebih."
"Wow." Dalam keadaan dia ambil banyak subjek, still dapat tinggi Paeds end round. "Hebatnya dia."
Aisyah cerita. Iman struggle nak study dekat kelas sebab kelas kami bahasa Inggeris. Dekat Syria manade belajar bahasa Inggeris. Iman selalu datang kelas nangis sebab teringat keluarga dia. Mak ayah adik2 dia masih di Damsyik. Ayah dia suruh dia datang sini untuk sambung belajar. Sebab macam mana nak sambung belajar dekat Syria sekarang ni? Aisyah kata, kawan2 kelas dia yang lelaki semuanya dah syahid.
Allah. Saya terdiam.
"Kalau aku jadi dia, aku tak boleh nak study," komen kawan di sebelah kanan saya. "Mesti teringat famili."
"Ye, tapi apa lagi yang boleh Iman buat? Kalau bukan dia yang study, siapa lagi akan study?" Saya lontarkan. Terasa hati retak. Siapa akan jadi doktor untuk anak2 Syria seterusnya?
Hidup perlu diteruskan dengan kita memainkan peranan kita di posisi yang Allah tetapkan buat kita. 'You are where you need to be.'
"Segannya aku. Aku main2 lagi study O&G ni..." Semoga Allah ampunkan kelalaian dan sikap acuh tak acuh saya T.T
-----
Exam O&G dah tamat. Kami dah berusaha, mungkin tak sebaiknya, tapi sekarang ini terserah kepada Allah untuk menyempurnakan takdir kami ini. Mohon doakan kami semua lepas subjek ini dan summer nanti boleh la nak melaksanakan tanggungjawab masing2 tanpa perlu risaukan pasal exam.
Exam Paediatrics 12 hari lagi. Bye.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Love Captured
He was smiling at me and his whole face lit up with the beam of innocence. His eyes nearly crinkled and he was looking straight at me with that happy smile and a love-filled eyes.
The smile when the person in front of you was the one who made you the happiest, the person you loved the most. That alone was enough to make me drop everything and hug him right that instant and clobber him with kisses.
But there was more.
He was sitting on soft sand, wearing shorts and barefooted. Sand all over his legs. Playfully his right hand was up, calling for me. Urging me to come at him. Join him. Even better, pick him up and throw him up high.
An affectionate child. I would drop everything and tackle him right that instant. I would let my back fall on the sand and wrestle him for being so adorable.
I would if I could. It drove me mad because I couldn't. And I have nothing else as alternative, no babies nearby to hug.
It was just a picture. He was smiling at his parents perhaps, miles away from here. The genuine love was for the parents who loved him even before he was born and who raised him up. A pose captured on camera.
I am just a stranger looking, never the one to indulge.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Experiment SeRaM
1)
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| Naqibah saya, seorang yang merasai disayangi melalui ucapan kasih sayang. |
2)
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| Bestfren seorang Sanguine yang memang sentiasa perlukan kasih sayang. |
habis kelas saya lepak rumah dia dan saya pun terangkan kepada dia mengenai eksperimen yang saya jalankan. air muka beliau kelihatan berubah dan saya bersedia untuk mengelak dari dilempang dengan tablet beliau.
subjek: aku ingat aku spesel. b*d*h.
saya: haha.
subjek: b*d*h.
tapi aku memang sayangkan kau pun. hahahahahaha.
seterusnya kami bergumbira study macam normal. beliau sempat bertanya kenapa saya tak mesej sedemikian kepada izyan.
3)
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| Anak pungut saya, seorang Melancholic. |
4)
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| Kakak saya tapi kami dah janji nak berkahwin maka dia saya punya! Seorang Choleric Sanguine. |
5)
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| Kakak saya yang sedang sibuk HO di Seberang Prai. |
hehe. atau pendek citer, dia layan je adik dia ni buat onar.
6)
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| Abang saya yang baru kahwin beberapa bulan. |
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| Kredit: Pure Dream Arts |
pernah dengar lagu Live Like We're Dying oleh Kris Allen? hehe. kita tak tahu bila akan meninggalkan dunia ini, maka ucapkanlah sayang itu. sekali sekala, sementara ada kesempatan nafas.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Something to Hang On To
There will be a hallway as I enter the door and a place to store my shoes away. The open kitchen will be on the right with bananas on the counter and the living room on the left. In between, perhaps the dining table to entertain whoever might be attending.
The kitchen will be spacious. I want a full cabinet. Plenty of clear counters to work efficiently. Oven, microwave, most importantly an espresso machine. The place will smell of good coffee.
The living room will have a TV mounted on the wall and the view unobscured from the kitchen counter. Comfy leather sofa, well-worn and slept in. The cat will make way for me whenever I am back. Fluffy rugs that are impractical for vacuuming but awesome for rolling in. A bookcase stowed nearby for the books I need to read while laying flat on the floor.
It will be what it is, a living room. A work station stashed somewhere.. nearby the bookcase. A laptop and charging panel. Stacks of memorabilia. Works in progress. Everything.
There will be a clear wall-to-wall window or sliding door to let light in. The whole place should be high enough to enjoy the city skyline and I can forgo curtains and open the balcony wide open without fear of intruders.
There should be.. three rooms? I don't care, one is enough already. A snug bed with comforter, Kevin lost under the pillows, fluffy rugs in front of the balcony door. A wardrobe for the clothes I choose not to wear.
---
There are some things I wanted that I couldn't bring myself to actively work for. For so many reasons. I ended up hoping I will get it despite not going for it.
Hoping that what I wanted is exactly what God planned to give me, what He dictated the best for me.
After two.. yeah, two attempts at hanging this dream on the wall and hoping it will somehow come true, He turned me down.
It hurts. But hey. Life is a series of lie. It goes on.
Maybe to teach me to not want anything. Leave everything to Him. Just forget about this aspect of life and do whatever else I am in control of.
I can't kill this off. So maybe I should divert my attention back to a certain guitarist and... I don't know.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Time is Life
Quite a pity. Any day I will die and the last thing people remember of me was "the girl who wrote craps" haha. Not proud enough to present this as an achievement to God.
We're having our Obstetrics & Gynaecology End Round Exam on the coming Saturday and Sunday. And then will be a less than a month study leave before the final exams.
And then will be the end of fifth year.
And then will be the last summer holiday as a medical student.
And then will be the start of sixth year inshaAllah.
And then will be the summer a.k.a. study leave before the Mother of All Final Exams inshaAllah.
And then will be the Graduation inshaAllah.
And then will be the working as a doctor inshaAllah.
.... scary. Time in Egypt is running out. I have yet to achieve my niche as a Egypt graduate. I have yet to learn all I needed during this 6 years of learning period. Waa!
Allah, bless this remaining time. Please don't let me waste this life of mine.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Mama, I love you.
O&G for me is the most frustrating subject. I can happily take out my Paeds book and restudy it for God knows how many times, but I can't digest this O&G more than once.
Frustrating. I understand this subject, the problem is that it won't stick in. And it's 59 days till the written exam and I'm..
I don't know. I'm a female but I don't feel any connection with this subject. In actual, this subject makes me cringe. It makes me worry of the state of whatever in me in general. But just because I don't like it doesn't mean I don't have to study it.
It was worst before and my focus refused to cooperate at one time. Until I was reminded that I have to study well to ensure the safety of the mothers of ummah and future jundullah.
Make sure the precious ladies of ummah are safe. Make sure I can pick out the impending complications. Make sure I don't screw up and both baby and mother are safe and sound and can continue to contribute to Islam.
Women are so complicatedly created. Please appreciate them more, they're already having a hard time handling their own self.
Allahu ghoyatuna. Go slow if I must, but I can't afford to ever stop.
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
STEP 2 - The Mascot
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| Balqis the Gen 08 niece with last year's mascot. |
I was considering penguin, because penguins are handsome and Allah made them to be a mascot thus need no rationalization why they should be a mascot. Presented to my boss, he said "pelik-pelik la maskot pun nak ada".
1- white pigeon is the universal symbol for peace and no-suffering
2- a symbol of hope between these two conflicting genders
3- it is Protocol Committee's niche. Heh.
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| Three hours of hard labour with only an hour of sleep, and the only picture I have of it is blurred. I blame the Media Committee boss for distracting me hahah. |
Friday, April 05, 2013
Countdown 68
The race is on. Renew our intentions and ask for Allah's forgiveness.
Thursday, April 04, 2013
Dissecting STEP 2 - Prologue
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| The Cool STEP 2 Clan |
The first objective of STEP 2 was to enlighten the participants on the differences between guys and girls so as to be better prepared at dealing with the opposite gender.
1- your family members
2- your brothers in Islam
3- that special someone
each with their own unique ways to deal with.
"I'm a guy, I don't do multitasking."
"I'm a girl, I can't help that I say something but mean something else."














