Behaved

I promised myself to behave and not be too assertive but I couldn't hide my frown and pointed look when someone say something weird. Lucky for me I had some very smart people in my PTM group and they immediately picked up my disapproval.

And now they've found out. Maybe I shouldn't try to hide it in the first place.

---

When we first had our slot MC and usher assignment, Wawa beside me asked if I wanted to volunteer for the MC role. I wondered why. I told her I preferred the usher role because the speaker was Dato' Razin and mom had been pestering me to introduce myself to him.

Am in front of us heard and he was excited. "You want to be the MC?"

"Usher laa."

But no one listened to me. Fadhli our leader approached and asked if I could be the MC. I said yes. Because if you can do something that people asked you to, you do it. I don't like to push things around.

Encik Yus inadvertently sabotaged me by introducing me to Dato' Razin while I was still MC-ing, so I had to pause and approach him as a polite gesture. The director then introduced my dad to the floor, exactly what I feared will happen. My dad is my dad and I am me.

I messed up my words after that and got laughed at by dato' and the floor, but I was proud at my composure or also known as too-full-of-myself-to-be-bothered-when-laughed-at. Plus I know why I messed up; I was hungry.

---

We were assigning duties for Culture Night. Penghulu was upfront and he asked who volunteers for MC. The groupmates kept glancing, subtly suggesting me to volunteer but I know better MCs than me so let someone else do it.

No one volunteered, kah3. "Okay, then let's pick one guy from Group 1 and a lady from Group 2," Penghulu said.

I shot him a dirty look from my seat at the very last row. Dude was my groupmate and that was really low. We're Group 2!

"Why don't we just pick one of the slot MCs since no one is ever going to volunteer?" Came the suggestion from the floor. Internally I groaned. Like the analyst I am (lol), I knew where this was leading and prepared myself for the worst.

I'm not good enough so I need a really good partner. And I know just one brilliant MC who I can work well with in such short period of time, but he's someone I classified under Acquaintance and because of this doing, we're not exactly on speaking terms.

And I knew it had always bothered me with having one less friend after what... six years? We're going to work in different hospitals and this was as good as my last chance if ever I was going to make amend. Commissioner Reagan said the best way to make amend with a proud male is to acknowledge his value by trusting him with a task. And with that, I hoped he wouldn't mind what I was going to do next.

"So who wants to be the MC?" Penghulu asked.

"Atiqaaah!" Chanted the seating section of Group 6. Why, I don't know. What have I done to them? I snorted because this reminded me of my first day in Surgery.

"Okay, Atiqah. Can?" Penghulu addressed me.

Of course I said yes. And as soon as he asked who's going to be my partner, I raised my hand and said his name and group loud and clear. My groupmates turned around to stare at me and I don't blame them. This did feel weird. We haven't acknowledge each other for a while.

He said yes by raising his hand and I settled hoping this means I was given another shot. Wawa asked me if we have had "keserasian", and I wondered what that means. I replied that we've worked together in the past.

We were dismissed and I approached him when he was walking out passing behind where I was seating.

"I hope you don't mind." No greetings other than a slightly strained smile. It felt weird. Acting all friendly was a clear sign of hypocrisy, which I was not. Nowadays we pretended not to see each other and only talk if we need something. We never had.

He grinned per default. "No I don't."

As expected from him. I turned around signalling I was done, but he followed me to my seat and asked about something. I answered without even looking at him because I didn't know how to and I noticed my groupmates eyes on me.

Yeah... Not exactly the attitude of someone who knew the other, nor of someone who needed help.

---

My group won the best performace and the MC job was a success. As expected he was excellent and I learned a lot from him. I don't expect to see him again after this, but as I passed him on my way to where the car was waiting for me, we raised our eyebrows in acknowledgement.

That's better. I'm done.