The title is a pun.
There has been two options as of late. A, do what I want. B, do what will trouble the least number of people.
And thus I am stuck between being a happy selfish person and being a selfless submissive little sheep. I haven't prayed Istikharah yet. Maybe that's the main problem here.
I thought of asking random people which choice would they go for. Umair scolded me when I asked her A or B and told me instead to choose the third option of doing what I want and trouble the least number of people.
Except that further stump me, and here I am.
For someone who wants to make her own decision, I sure am indecisive. Maybe deep down I just want my dad to take things over for me and let me lay down on the floor of my room and stare at the leaking ceiling.
I understand now the desperation of wanting things to return to how it was before.
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