thanks for feeding me bro

Last night I was crushed with an overwhelming sense of sadness. I don't know why and I started thinking what should I do now if I die tomorrow.

I should straighten up my financials first. Leave things to the siblings. 

Then suddenly Arif sent me an in-game sunset picture. How did he know to check up on me? I replied him immediately. And asked how he was doing. 

It had been raining yesterday evening and I had no glimpse of nature. Perhaps I should do that. Go sit by the bay every evening.

I was still sad. I wanted to cry or do something hurtful. Perhaps it's seasonal depression. I asked if Yaya was busy and if I can have 15 minutes. 

She called me instead. I didn't really wanted to talk and she sounded like she didn't know what to say anyway. I would tell her to just blabber about her days or whatnot but I didn't. I just answered her curtly, and elaborated on what I think I'm going through. We talked for 19 minutes. I excused myself, went to pray and slept. 

I woke up not wanting to wake up at all. But I dragged myself to work and was silent all through the round. Miss as usual with her pettiness from feeling responsible for every micron and us confusing her and not actually helping her. I just kept silent. 

We finished round. She finally went off. Fadli, Luqman, Naveena and I talked more freely. Luqman went to get food and suggested I eat something heavy before OT call. I picked through the food and he paid for two. 

I grinned. That was my first smile of the day.