The silent lambs

There are certain black or white areas in this world. For everything else, there you have plenty more of grey areas.

Premise One.

Nowadays, whenever I choose to care, I care more of the reason a person decides on a decision than the decision itself. Our standard of what's right and wrong may differ, so for me as long as you have a firm and legit-by-your-strong-belief-and-basis reasons, you can very well do whatever you want.

Premise Two.

I have ego that translates into my sense of responsibility. Thus I feel honoured when a person treats me accordingly and expect something appropriate of my level. I get personally insulted otherwise.

And because of this, I like how most of our lectures were conducted. Our doctors highlight the key points and the recent trend of management. Despite the grave importance of the physiology, anatomy, pathology and such aspects in a disease, the doctor will go through it rapidly because theoretically we have studied this thoroughly during our preclinical years. This is the time to integrate everything we have learned this past six years.

I'm not good at integrating because it is my own fault for having poor recollection and this chronic fearless laziness, but whenever the doctor spoon-feed instead of simply refreshing, I'd feel like a child. A grateful one at that.

Currently on Tuesdays, my General Surgery class is a ward round with a super specialist that can be likened to a slaughter session for us yet-competent house officers. Despite the more stressful atmosphere that leaves me feeling inadequate, I like this kind of class because it slaps me to be better than the best... or maybe I just have inborn masochism. Dr. Refaat Afif is not scary, it is failing in front of him and unable to stand up for my answers that scare me the most.

Tell you what. I had a low grade fever running since yesterday and this afternoon I presented my group's patient with this nasal tone and such. Died during the discussion and examination wahaha. 

After class, my temperature spiked and I had to take a PCM and anti congestant while running for my next lecture. Thank God for empty-stomach-friendly drugs, let's worry about the liver later.