The Girl Who Takes Things For Granted

You've gotta be extra careful with the things
that are close and dearest to you,
You know the closer you get to something,
the tougher it is to see it.

Explain to me this happiness that you just got to experience,
Or maybe you're so blessed that you can't even remember it all.

That you are standing here with me,
That you live and breathe and see and feel,
They're all little miracles and wonder just by themselves.

It's fine to say "Never give up" and "Keep on chasing your dreams",
But the more time you spend talking big,
the less you get done with life.

I'll let that handful of courage in my heart
help me survive another day,
And I'll never take it for granted.
Let's go!

Inoue Joe - Closer
Naruto Shippuden 4th Opening Song

"Think about your happiest moments. Was there someone there also?"

janually
Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Remembering Second Year of Medicine

"... and medially it is related to trachea, right laryngeal nerve and oesophagus at the lower part and to two cartilages of larynx; thyroid cartilage and cricoid cartilage, cricothyroid muscle and the inferior constrictor muscle of the pharynx."

He stared out of the window suddenly. Smiled somewhat in melancholy and addressed us.

"I enjoy my life teaching but I can't wait to get away from here to perform the pilgrimage soon." His smile lit up and continued in a soft tone. "I remembered the days when I taught in Saudi Arabia..."

On every Thursday evening, he will take the bus to Makkah. Perform his prayers and umrahs and by Isya', head to Madinah by bus to reach there by 3 am.

Wait for Solat Fajr and Dhuha and prayed Jumaat at Masjidin Nabawi. Drink a cup of syai and take the bus home.

Reach his home by 7 am and get ready for his 8 am lecture.

"Although it is a tedious process, I never get tired." He grinned further to emphasize his point. "It is something I really enjoy."

He turned back towards the transverse drawing of the neck. "I'm sorry to interrupt the lecture, but some memory just cannot be forgotten."

I was already teary.

That's Dr. Hafiz Waly, our Anatomy professor lecturing us on Head & Neck this semester. He was once the head of department which he complained of because it stuck him to his office and away from lecture halls.

I truly enjoyed his class :) He reminded me of a hyper grandpa; so eager to teach and passionate in his way.

Allah yubaarik fik.

p/s: Take note on the transportation by bus. With Arabs. -_-''

---

I suppose when you’ve walked all through life, you tend to share your invaluable titbits with the younger generation.

Today I fully understand why Dr. Akef Khowaileed (عاكف خويلد) is so admirable and renowned probably beyond the department of Physiology; to the point of Dr. Abdel Moniem of CVS last year ordered told us repeatedly to pray for said doctor when he was very much under the weather.

Telling us of his presenting his research on obesity in Scotland, he started his 15 minutes time on stage with a lengthy praises to Allah and salawats on Rasulullah fluently in Arabic.

The Scott physicians asked him about it at the end of his presentation. "What's the connection between your prophet with obesity?"

He told them that he starts all his lectures and presentations with those praises as all knowledge that we have now comes from Allah and we should be grateful to Him and our Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.

He addressed the class and told us that ALL knowledge was passed down to Adam and they’re gradually lost through generations who committed sins. Races before us were highly talented and advanced in all field of knowledge; medicine, architecture, astronomy, you name it.

They were capable of building the pyramids in Giza.

The coloured hieroglyph on the walls of temples required no re-colouring nor does it fades.

The mummies are well-preserved until today.

The sun ray shines directly to the throne of this one king’s temple in Abu Simbel twice per year; exactly during his birthday and his day of coronation.

Yet we have just rediscovered their technology.

So praise Allah, 24-7 salawat for Prophet Muhammad and be grateful for all the blessings exclusively of iman and Islam He had given us.

Study hard and well for knowledge and know your God. Do not be a sinner as it darkens your heart from perceiving the light of 3ilm that is truly His.

Allah yubaarik fik.

p/s: We wanted to stay back in his class just now, but we had Anatomy section :(

Zombies for Brain

All my classmates are genius people consisting of the nerdy type who sparks my jealousy and the goofing-off type who definitely sparks my jealousy.

One of them in particular is very smart. An excellent-grade student, nice, easy to talk to regarding any study materials. Already taken and in my opinion, that's easily the best part of this person.

In class the other day we talked about their last night Emergency Room outing, a little bit about yesterday's class and promptly I was asked "Do you remember where does the extrapyramidal system starts from? Is it brainstem?"

For the life of me, I gave a blurred face as an answer followed by a swift "Dunno." And then I took my sit more than a little pissed off at myself. This is basic Physiology. Dr. Akef Khowaileed taught me this part and it is now a distant memory of my earlier days as a medical student.

SUCKS TO BE ME.

I looked it up when I got home and the answer is reticular formation of pons and medulla. Yup, classmate there got the right answer; brainstem.

Now I understand why zombies eat people's brain. Excellent people have theirs made of the good stuff while mine is just a lump of fat. But I know my "lump of fat" is capable of great stuff. I need to unlock it with blessings and back-breaking diligence.

Work hard, Haru!

Manusia Paling Bahagia

Hari ini Kak Chep(ingu) menjemput kami makan di rumahnya. Maka Kak Huda membatalkan hasrat untuk memesan makanan dari Asian Cafe dan kami berenam berangkat ke Lia Safura.

Kami tiba. Kami bertegur sapa sambil duduk. Kak Chep mengangkat tudung saji dan Pipah gembira melihat ayam masak kuning.

Tetapi benda pertama yang saya nampak adalah telur dadar.

TELUR DADAR! \(^__^)/

Kak Chep benarkan saya habiskan telur dadar tersebut. Saya menambah nasi. Dia bertanya samada saya mahu menambah kuah kuning. Saya dengan gembiranya menolak pelawaan tersebut. Kak Chep berkata "Dalam peti ada kicap."

"Takpe," saya menjawab penuh kegembiraan menyuap nasi putih dan telur dadar. "Tak boleh rosakkan keaslian telur dadar."

Saya sudah tidak perlu makan untuk seminggu.

Unthiqohness

This post is a blown-up crack and is not supposed to make sense and in no way reflect my current mental state. Which is mental. Hahaha, get it?? Get it?? I am Joker's freaking lovechild!

This semester my image is set on "punk band-loving girl who smiles at some and ignores others and runs around the hospital in hyper mode". Don't prod me further, I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to prove. Maybe all the wedding and spawning season has affected me in reverse.

Everything quoted has already been kick-started and I wish myself luck in maintaining this level of hyperness all through graduation. However, since I left my best loved R.E.M. tee among others back home in Malaysia, the "punk" part is pretty much short on resource.

Thus I present to you my current project: Patch the Hoodie Project.

My project this time is to iron-on patch my plain Barney-purple Giordano hoodie which I bought last minute at KLIA satellite terminal. Because everyone needs a statement sweater if not a statement bag and said plain sweater needs to be blinged up anyway.

I have envisioned a Malaysian flag to be patched on my left arm and below it, across the back and towards the right arm will be haphazardly patched with Laruku tour logo. Since one needs a statement sweater, it better be showcasing the greatest band on earth.

Winter is soon arriving so paradoxically speaking, we need to prepare for it with a bang!

---

Earlier today I was heartbroken by an email that made me want to never email people with questions ever and that I am better off doing research on my own. Coupled with the chill that was making me feeling under the weather, I ended up curling in self-pity and skipping the 7am Gynaecology lecture and the 8am ward round.

My intended remedy for heartbreak was buying chocolate biscuit sticks and sucking on endless Chixo before heading for my 9am clinical lecture and vowed never to be seen without some sort of chocolate hanging from my mouth all day.

Chixo is good-old-times in a plastic sheath.  

But it was 8.45 by the time I left my house and I'd be damned if I let any heartbreak make me late for class. So yeah, no chocolate for me.

I feel sorry for myself. Everyone deserves chocolate at their lowest point but I hadn't even the time to buy myself one.

---

In another news, my bat-shit crazy mode apparently is not inclined to give me a break anytime sooner. It gets worse with the resurrection of the need for retail therapy.

Lucky Lucky Lucky Lucky Lucky Lucky

Rory Beca's Lace Blazer now 50% at $71.50!!! MBMJ travel wallet sleeve has 30% off and now at $97!

I will check myself into an asylum. THE END. FOR NOW.

It's Always A Good Time

It was.. refreshing to start your day with the whole class being shouted at by the doctor for sitting in the class waiting for the 9am session to start (it was 9am already) instead of following the clinical round in the adjoining wards.

"Don't blame us for not teaching you when you're the one who doesn't want to be teached! Continue sitting!"

A flurry of movement and everyone moved towards the wards while putting on their white coats. Scanned for our student ID number and designated bed on the freshly put up rooster and shuffled towards our respective patient.

Bed 1's occupant was sleeping. Should we wake him up?

"Why are you guys standing doing nothing?! Go to your assigned bed! Are you people children?!"

Regardless the obvious bad mood the doctor was in, do you really need to be shouted at twice to make a move? The patient remained blissfully unconscious to the world, so we discussed his case and his brain CT with the HO. A case of neuroleptic malignant syndrome. It was in Arabic.

I grasped as much as I could from the discussion and we reconfirmed everything with Mohamed Nasser who reexplained everything the HO said in English. I suspected some of the stuff he explained to us wasn't mentioned by the HO but was from his memory of NMS we studied in Toxicology last year.

Darn you genius Arabs, haha.

Anyway. I need to restudy this stuff. Couldn't figure out why the patient had rashes all over. Drug hypersensitivity?

When Crack is Canon

Yes, Nejiko, don't give up. 

I am sure we still respect you as the cool brooding genius Hyuuga we thought you were.

ROFL

First Day of Fifth Year

In-class lecture Dr. Sahiee taught us Intro to Internal Medicine and I was already overwhelmed. This was more intense than the helplessness I felt when Dr. Omar Barada asked me what was the significant of benign prostatic hyperplasia to an ophthalmology patient. Then she taught us the general scheme of examination.

Clinical round and I got to clerk the case and Dr. Fuad taught us how to inspect and examine the chest. That was fun.

We then went to the outpatient clinic and BAM! a whole load of abdominal patients to clerk and palpate and auscultate and take BP and give bright smiles to despite your insecurity at your lack of organized knowledge and how to proceed with the medical history when you barely understood their complaints (darn my Arabic vocab)!

And lucky me, all the patients were females and I was the only female student around and the patient kicked the guys out so yeah "Hi I'm Hana from fifth year, can I ask a few questions? What's your name, madam?"

And as we reached the chief complaint, the language barrier hit me square on the face. What the hell should I do now? Guys? A little help here?

I didn't expect that for a first day. Culture shock? Welcome to medical school.

In regards to the recent development of Naruto

What the **** is up with the manga right now? I just... I can't even! I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone, but those who have read it know exactly what I'm talking about and I just... it... I have no words!

Kishi, I official (sic) enact the rights of fan discontinuity! As far as I'm concern, this never happened! In fact, I don't even know what I'm talking about any more!

Spoiled Sweet rant in For A Season

I gave up on the manga long already but I don't suggest anyone taking a leaf out of my book because if everyone quit reading Naruto, how else am I going to enjoy this "told you so" moment? Haha.

I am more interested in pursuing the literary hunger of a certain shipping and some others. You'd be surprised just how much better some of the online yet-professional authors are compared to the much-hyped commercially spawned we have nowadays. I haven't really caressed the smooth spine of a paperback lately but I don't exactly feel missed out.

Come to the dark side. I can make you very happy here.

Eat your food fresh

My mom cooked me fried calamari, sweet sour seabass and apam polka dot for my brunch the day I had to fly out of Kota Bharu. Since I was paranoid of missing my flight, I ate a small piece of seabass and packed the fried calamari and apam in separate paper bags and shoved them into my backpack.

At KLIA as I waited for my aunt to meet me, I ate a few pieces of mom's fried calamari with happiness overflowing. For a girl whose lifetime happiness came in the form of Cool Blog Ice-blended Cappucino with Cincau topping at the price of RM4.10, mom's fried calamari was the epitome of euphoria and was priceless.

On board my stomach grumbled but I had no appetite and merely scraped my 10pm dinner. I wanted to take out my fried calamari but the scent would overwhelm the plane. I was sleepy but I couldn't sleep. I wanted to watch movie but all I could manage was The Avengers. Symptoms of an emotionally deranged person.

I didn't want to leave home.

Back in Egypt at dawn, I tidied up and unpacked as much as I could before collapsing in a heap of bones. I was fasting that day and was very looking forward to mom's fried calamari for breakfast.

And finally dusk came. With teary eyes I reached for mom's fried calamari and I chewed. And chewed. And chewed some more with the floodgate now reaching breaking point.

I learned the hard way that after 36 hours of being fried, mom's fried calamari became a sentimental piece of rubber. No amount of waterwork could bring the freshness back. Not eating mom's food right away was the biggest regret of my life.

Writing this was torture itself but I need to pen this so that my future self and generations will not commit the same mistake again.

Author's note:

If you think I am sissy then I think you are mean. If you think I am sentimental then I think I love you. If your answer is not stated above then please state so in the provided comment form. If you think none of the above then please cultivate your mind and generate witty ideas by standing still in a corner while holding a bucketful of water in each hand. Thank you.

hit the call button and smile. talk for three minutes average and hang up. sigh a relief that you made it.

it's nearly 11. i don't touch my phone after 9. scratch that, i won't touch my phone at all if i can help it. send me a pigeon or paper plane or whatever instead.

and still my mom is making me call everyone... i call this psychological abuse. i am scarred. i want to throw my phone into the Nile.

---

i did some soul-searching and i decided my tic against phone is unexplainable. this is one of life's example of stuffs you just have to accept without understanding why.

a phone is a mean to let my parents know of my whereabout. i should get a gps implanted under my skin and just throw my phone into the Nile, end of story.

Everything

Some people can do anything. Some other awesome people can do everything.

Like my mom.

She practices delegation but most of the time she wants us to get to it now, despite my assurance that I am going and will get to it but my Anthony Bourdain will conclude in ten minutes so please let me do it afterwards?

And after ten minutes, I go and see that she has already done what she asked me to. I could only stare after her and buzz off to do something else, like my real calling instead.

---

I think I do that to people all the time; not counting on them and just get on with the job. Good-natured people will feel bad but I nevertheless do it with no hard feelings. It is best to just get the job done and over with.

But it feels quite painful to be at the receiving end of it.

Sabah

Today Big Bro was interviewed by the SPA for his FYDO placement (the equivalent of us HO except dental students are only subjected to one year of scrutinization). He told us that his interviewer told him that "The reefs and islands of Sabah are very beautiful."

"Is he hinting that I'm going to be stationed in Sabah?" Hadi asked.

I could only say Pak Long had been prophetic. When we met him last week, he joked to Big Bro that he might be posted somewhere near the military base in Pulau Layang-Layang.

We at home discussed the possibility. Mom wanted to ask a relative of ours to ask his friend at the administration level to NOT post Big Bro to Sabah. But Dad said "It's okay. Even I got posted to Sarawak." 

"So that means I'm going to be sent to Sarawak too?" I quipped.

"No you stay here." Dad said without missing a beat.

I laughed. That reaction was completely understandable. After several years of running off without a care for the world, of course Dad wanted me cooped up. If he's lucky, I might even get HRPZ2; first posting is paediatric department.

Jangan bawak pulut masuk dusun.

Suatu hari dahulu, Mak Teh jumpa Ateh dekat dusun dan bawak pulut untuk makan tengahari. Tiba-tiba Mak Teh menangis teresak-esak.

"Kenapa dah lama tak jumpa kami? Dah tak ingat dekat kami ke?" Mak Teh sedih sambil tersedu.

Ateh terus bawak Mak Teh balik rumah. Bila ditanya, Mak Teh kata dia tak ingat apa-apa pun.

Chik kata, dulu arwah atuk selalu buat makan-makan dekat dusun. Buat majlis doa selamat je pun. Makan pulut dan durian beramai-ramai.

Kesimpulan daripada kisah ini adalah:
1- jangan bawak pulut masuk dusun.
2- kekalkan hubungan yang baik dengan jiran-jiran anda.

Selamat beramal.