The Poo Machine

The first thing I noticed upon opening the balcony door this morning was that the mad monkey-like cackling sparrow was madder than ever. It was absolutely chirpier today and had I been a lesser person, I would have thought it was mocking my drug-induced sleep last night.

Spot the mad monkey.

The second thing I noticed was that my balcony, the one I tediously sweep once a week, was dripping gooey poo.

Argh, the stress!

A nerve twitched.

The third thing I noticed was this little critter hiding behind Yuuno's burial pot.

A petite critter messing with Yuuno's final resting place.

More poo! Argh, the stress, the stress!

Introducing the recently hatched culprit. If you can make out the yolk remains on its beak.

The darn cute poo machine

The nest in the broken lamp.

This flightless chick scurried when I got nearer for a friendly 'Hi I'm Atiqah, wanna be my breakfast?' and its mother cackled even madder, if that's even possible.

Jerry Petite

Maybe Jerry can be my new roommate?

p/s: Now to add insult to injury, ANTS ARE CREEPING AROUND THE POO! And Jerry is innocently tucking its head under its wing for a nap! *blood pressure shot up*

Flotilla the Ship

They are onboard Mavi Marmara fighting fire with prayers.

We see what they do, we update ourselves on their journey, we pray for their victory, yet do we reflect back on ourselves?

They are one step closer to Paradise, perhaps they are already there. What about us? Are we still wasting time drowning in petty sins, or are we doing our best to better ourselves?

Not equal are those believers who sit (at home) and receive no hurt, and those who strive and fight in the cause of Allah with their goods and their persons.

Allah hath granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than to those who sit (at home). Unto all (in Faith) Hath Allah promised good:

But those who strive and fight Hath He distinguished above those who sit (at home) by a special reward, ranks specially bestowed by Him, and Forgiveness and Mercy. For Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
[An-Nisa’ : 95-96]

At the end of the day, we’re not just aiming to be a good citizen of the world. We aim to enter Paradise with pride.

Muslims everywhere are united by our one faith in Allah thus we are family. And humanity is shared among those with higher brain function.

1. Live news in English
2. IHH live stream
3. Free Gaza Movement on Twitter

Atuk

Atuk passed away this morning. He was burried after Asar. Them folks are back in Beruas, Perak.

Punch me so I can feel
Let it rain so I can ...

I will be polite out of respect, and Allah help me, I will it not to thin.

Hope the silence is sufficient.

Mak Lang

On 23rd May, Mak Lang was admitted to the hospital. Parents, Yaya and Hakim were at Shah Alam registering Amirah to her UiTM Law foundation, and Harith and Hazim were at school. The contractor friend of dad who installed our new air-conds noticed her groaning in pain with a very splitting headache and alerted dad.

Dad called for the ambulance and they soon rushed home.

Currently she is warded in USM's Neuro ICU after developing cerebellar bleeding secondary to hypertension complicated with acute hydrocephalus. She undergone an external drainage to reduce her intracranial pressure. The drain was initially filled with blood which had cleared now.

Paralyzing agents were stopped yesterday and we hope that she will wake up. However her prognosis is 50-50, and if ever she recovered will be with morbidity.

Pardon the medical jargon. Those were from dad.

Since opah passed, I come to really appreciate the family that I have. And the very limited time I have to really do good to them.

Please hang in there.

p/s: Whoever said hypertension is a small matter?

His side: Waiting for you to be back home.

As I humbly quote from a senior's YM status,

There are three sides in an argument. My side, your side, and the right side.

Here is my side.

Yesterday or so, Kak Pijot shared with us this blog post of a previous UKM doctor who migrated elsewhere due to the terrible working environment faced there. It spawned my fear, somewhat, though I realize the so-called terror of housemanship should not bother me yet, a second year medical student struggling to memorize her pre-clinical studies.

So, the spoil daughter I am, I turned to my father who himself is a doctor about the authenticity of the issue claimed by that poor doctor, and here was his lengthy reply.

Assalamualaikum Atiqah,

Thank you for asking me my comments. I read it in the news about UKM grad leaving the country for Singapore. Well, to tell you the truth... whatever was said was true... but... but it depends where you work.

I have been working since 1980. Then, was the HOs in Melaka. The only few Malay doctors then. I was greeted and treated well by my MOs and Consultants. My pay then was RM 600 increased the next few months to RM 800.

I never think about the money. I wanted to learn and I take the time to learn. Respect need to be earned not because you are a doctor. People respect a doctor because you are a doctor, not during your working hours but after hours too. I was appreciated by the senior nurses and sister and learned lot from them then.

As a MO, I was sent to Miri and Kapit before joining Melaka as a registrar in Paed.

In Sarawak, we were respected... Me then. I never regreted my posting in Sarawak. I learned from nurses, MAs and also the people. There I understand the differences between Semenanjung and Sarawak which is neglected not by us but the politicians. I cried once about commenting to a Iban police officer for delaying the visit of his ailing mother. I did not realised how far they have to travel to reach the hospital in Miri. One week from the longhouse via river provided the river is not dried... Might take 2-3 weeks... I felt sorry and lucky the humbleness of the Iban change me from a Semenanjung doctor proud with all facilities available to understand how much they need our help (till today but doctor attitude change and so are the paramedic.)

I wanted to be a paed after seeing how much neglected the people there was. Did I ever think of quititng... Never in my life. Not the money... yes... now I know why I stayed. Allah wanted me to go on. This is my challenge. Yes, Singapore and UK gave good pay and also rest day.

I did 72 hours call as an MO in Melaka. We were short of doctors. I learned the hard way and I know thus encouraging my current HOs to understand why you need to do call.

Atiqah, do not be despair with the letters and comments. I survived with the system. It was worst before yes... But improvement seen. I never expected my promotion till I retire... but I got it. I know Allah yang memberi rezeki. Apa yang kita lakukan untukNya... mendapat restu dan ganjaran yang lebih baik kelak.

Cerita dari doctor [tu] lebih mengambarkan keadaan di Universiti. I worked and learned for 5 years as a master student in UM. You may not remember... but I nearly quit... Tough... The doctor need to set the IV lines and give antibiotics. Yes that is true...your mother keep supporting me. I never had a good day, weekend in wards and evening with you all. I was exhausted...pergi kerja awal pagi dan balik akhir petang.

But you know what...I learned a lot. The system in UM is like that. Your take blood, set lines and give antibiotics. Tapi papa tak ada masalah, they helped me. Papa tak bayar lunch mereka... yang ada ketika itu ialah wajah keikhlasan seorang doktor yang ingin membantu. That is me sampai kini.

You know why I was sent to Kelantan? Papa sendiri tak pasti. KL ingat papa orang Kelantan. Kelantan, Kota Bharu in 1993, lebih kurang sama tapi better than in Sarawak.

I was shocked to see the paed wards then. Masa di UM... everything was in order. Mama minta balik, papa kata kita tenguk dulu. Setiap hari raya, papa rasa nak minta tukar... tapi I changed a lot in Kelantan. I improve my Islamic knowledge. Papa tahu setiap yang berlaku ada sebabnya....

Also sebab kenapa papa buat subspecialised in Australia. I was offered in the private hospital... I told them Thank you. I went ahead to learn in Brisbane. Hope you still remember...

Atiqah, banyak lagi yang papa nak luahkan. Do not listen to part of their grouses... yes, ada kebenaran dan ada juga tidak benar.

Yes, the system is the same. Better dah got. Pay good for all of you cuma 2 tahun HOs. Ini semua sebab ada HOs yang dari oversea (not Middle East) buat hal. Tak semua nurses macam tu... tak semua MA macam tu... yes they are more toward admin now tapi work very hard in Sarawak. Admin staff ambil tak peduli dengan claim... do not worry in Kelantan..tak ada masalah.

Mereka nak ke Singapore lebih untuk duit dan keselesaan di dunia. Kebanyakan adalah bangsa C namum dalam kes Sultan Kelantan...apa yang mereka lakukan adalah pelik... cuma nak kutip duit... ada masa untuk bercakap dengan pesakit.

My advise to you and your friends... jangan runsing... apa yang bakal berlaku ada hikmatnya. I do not know. Belajar dan balik berbakti kepada rakyat. Challenges akan timbul... papa dah pernah kena. Dimaki hamun namum papa tahu itu adalah kesilapan papa...

Now, I wanted to help not the patients... parents... but also junior doctors... and that will include you... Time off diberikan melihat kedudukan wad... ada doctor terlalu ego, itu buat paramedic marah. To me... simpan ego, then you be respected, willing to learn then you can progress... so take care...

Papa... waiting for you to be back home.


Study weh, baru boleh balik Malaysia dengan tenang.

Atiqah, do better than the best.

p/s: Dr. Mohd Hanifah Mohd Jamil is a senior consultant at Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II, Kota Bharu. His experience is not to be generalized and as I believe everyone is entitled to his own ideas provided he goes by Quran and Sunnah, you may leave comments.

Update:
Papa baca balik, reply... banyak mistakes lah. Sorry, masa terima email, papa rushing nak mengajar neonatal resuscitation program kepada postbasic nurses.

Ants: A PseudoShrink's Idea

Reaction formation is doing the opposite of what is really felt unconsciously.

According to Dr. Dalal Amer, ambivalence is a qualitative emotional disorder, in which you have contradictory feelings towards the same object at the same time.

Like, hating and loving Akihana simultaneously because ants are merrying in its pot.

I know for fact that I detest, truly hate ants and I have no doubt the feeling is equally mutual.

I can't say I love that potted plant, though, but like I'll ever give up on Aki! I'm learning to love, nurture and care for a potted plant with a daily watering requirement and Allah help me, with trees and plants covering up the Earth, why did those ants choose to nest in Aki's pot instead??

We just hooked up last Friday. I know I can survive relationship longer than four days!

I am currently shoving Aki to the end of the balcony, as farthest away from the door as possible. And I've Baygon-ed the trail of ants leading to its pot, but no.. they just have to come back! Those nasty pesky keropok stealers know not when to give up!

Some senior with murderous intent suggested I Baygon Aki because Baygone is an insecticide, not a planticide.

Yeah, and it's not a humanicide either.

Some classmate suggested I drown those ants by overflooding Aki, but that'll kill Aki too, wouldn't it?

Kak Biha suggested I buy one of those alas pasu. But understanding the resilience of tough ants, they will merely swim across and continue infesting Aki.

...

I squash cockroaches impassively, so why do I shriek at the sight of ants?

Irasshai

27th March 2010

cuba lagi
lain kali
bila bersedia

29th April 2010

Introducing, Akihana and Ukki.

Aki is a creeping flowery plant. Currently sporting two reddish pink buds of flower. Requires daily watering.

Ukki is an opuntia aciculata (I guessed). Apparently edible. Doesn't require much watering, alhamdulillah.

Bought those two because heart needs filling everything should be in pairs.

p/s:
Aki = spring
Hana = flower
Ukki = the name of the potted plant given to Kakashi by Naruto.

Friends Forever

Today I would like to tell you the tale of a cool friendship.

It started one day when I had to sign up to this site in order to continue watching Chi's Sweet Home, a 10-minute series of a lost kitten. After you sign up, you had to fill up your profile page with pictures and tidbits about you.

Seeing as how I detested filling up forms, I filled that one in a blink. Merely wrote I like cats, kill cockroaches and something about I am an uninteresting person.

That should put people off, shouldn't it?

Apparently it worked the opposite for this one person.

Subject: hey
Date: Apr 10 2008
From: yoshi
To: mitsui

well since you said your an uninteresting person it caught my eye because im interested in uninteresting people..so whats up

The message laid dormant in my inbox until a month later when I had the epiphany to catch another series of Chi.

I smirked. Yeah, I remembered smirking at his message and replied real quick.

Re: hey
Date: May 4 2008
From: mitsui
To: yoshi

Interesting. Then i shall try to live up to your expectation. Nothing much is up. What about you?

His reply came the very same day.

I replied back on 10th May 2008, which he replied the very same day, too. One would think he live on that site.

I only managed to get back to him on 31st May 2008, and that was the last time I visited Crunchyroll.

On 27th August 2009, I opened that site again. I was in Malaysia on my first summer break and decided to catch up with all Chi I've missed.

I noticed my last message was replied on 1st June 2008, and he sent me another one on 7th September 2008.

Subject: as uninteresting as you are....
Date: Sep 7 2008
From: yoshi
To: mitsui

i still think its my duty to bug you every once in a while im sorry to dissappoint you but ignoring me wont really make me dissappear...anyways you dont really need to talk to me just let me know your alive every once in a while

^^ Okay so I had this pension for not replying messages. I remembered my 2008 resolution was to reply messages straight away, but I guess we face failure every now and then.

Thus begins our yearly update exchange.

His reply came on 19th September 2009 which I read and replied on 1st April 2010.

That, my friend, is what I call the secret for a long-lasting friendship.

P/S: Names are altered to protect identities. Despite all that, I really do reply all my emails a.s.a.p. Really!

We Adore Wits

We are blessed with exceptionally humorous lecturers.

Dr. Abbas: Today is the last practical session for Biochemistry. Are you happy or depressed?

But the funniest of all is Dr. Heba of Physiology Department, Allah bless her straight face and witty remarks.

*Testing biceps reflex, where you put your thumb on the patient's tendon and strike the hammer onto the thumb*

Dr. Heba: See how the doctor suffers?

---

*Class was doing BMI and body fat percentage test.*

Dr. Heba: What is your height?
Volunteer: 150 cm.
Dr. Heba: And your weight is.. 20kg?
Volunteer: 45kg.
Dr. Heba: ... You sure?

I love Egyptians. They believe we are underweight!

*Volunteer's result was within normal range.*

Dr. Heba: I don't know how you got normal.

---

Dr. Heba asked for my Physiology questions collection book and wanted to borrow it as she didn't have hers.

Dr. Heba: I want this book with me. You agree or disagree?

---

Dr. Heba: Do you remember the audiograph?
Class: No~
Dr. Heba: No? Okay, thank you.

---

Dr. Heba: See you in third year.

---

Challenge is a major turn on.

Rain Rain, Don't Go Away

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Today, it rains.

Goodbye, Yuuno

[picture deleted]
Mitsuharu Yuuno

3rd March 2009 - 23rd March 2010

Dearest tortoise

He passed in silence on the night of 23rd, most probably to a case of pneumonia.

He had lived contentedly and ventured happily around the life of this single taciturn soul; affecting her life and carpets alike.

His burial was conducted at 9.30pm of 27th March in the balcony of the room he shared with Atiqah.

We would like to thank everyone, especially friends from Kelab Sahabat Yuuno for the love given and time spent with him.

Our warmest gratitude also goes for every condolences given to us in this time of grieving.

We hope that everyone will continue to be friends of Yuuno by being passionate, caring and fun-loving to every creature Allah has created for us to marvel. And we hope that by being kind to His creatures, our taqwa towards Him will increase and be considered as good deeds.

His friends from Kelab Sahabat Yuuno:

Ara
Rodhi
Rai
Nisa
Sarah
Syaimaa'
Jiha
Izzah
'Azfa
Raja
Kak Biha
Kak Najiha
Kak Daing
Kak Zawil
Kak Laili
Kak Bid
Abang Ayep

and everyone else not mentioned.

p/s: For those who met him during his final days, please remember him in his healthy form. Please hit the Pet button.

We Tigers Roar

We may be studious and hard-working. Nerd, even.

We claim our success but no, we don't succeed alone.

We still help our friends and we share our knowledge around.

We bring out the best of each other.

We set our intentions for Allah and we increase our awe in Him
as we further dwell in our medical reading.

Simply because that is our duty.


Medicophilic Week 2010 is coming close to its end.

Does your love for medicine brings you closer to Allah?

p/s: Adored tiger for as long as I could remember. And the genius behind Photoshop and Deviantart.

Soldier Down

I cannot and will not do something just because you told me to.

If I tell you that, what will you think of me? Especially when it was me who agreed to the task in the first place.


(In)Decisive?
Firm?
Inflexible?
Insubordinate?

Damn-witted?
Procrastinating ass?
Ungrateful brat?

Ego was the reason Iblis got expelled from heaven.

p/s: Incorrigible writer's block. Leave me and BSB alone, please.

The Boy who Fell

It was a brisk walk alone towards school after I skipped home in-between classes. I crossed the road and quickly decided to avoid the common route of walking straight towards Nugget Tours. Instead, I turned left.

My foot on the pavement, a sweet boy of three-year-old (perhaps) all bulked up in his clean winter gear was tentatively riding his tricycle towards me. He looked up into my eyes and I saw that he was wobbling. He was cycling towards the sandy depression on the uneven pavement.

Picture not related. This is Usaid the cleanfreak boy
mopping dusty ARMA with his shirt.

Now, now, I slowed my pace as I neared him, my eyes on alert and my face grim in concentration. Be careful not to fall.

And sure enough, he fell on his knee. He gingerly touched his left kneecap and steadied his fallen bike with his right hand. He silently looked up and mounted right on.

I watched the boy from behind my shoulder as he continued paddling on the crooked pavement, not even a stifle could be heard.

Holding back tears. He was playing brave, I concluded.

Was it because of his gender that he decided against crying? Was it because of an unknown foreigner nearby that stalled him from calling for his mother? Was it the harsh upbringing Egyptians endured that made them steel from a young age?

Or was it simply me exaggerating everything, and the boy wasn't even going to cry in the first place?

What did I do during the whole time? Nothing. I didn't even pause, not even a concerned 'Are you okay?' spouted out, though words of consolation were already forming in my mind.

Let alone stopping to pick the boy up and help him to his parents. Instead, I continued my slow and short pace about him and scrutinized every details.

A few seconds walk away and I was graved with guilt.

---

Akhlak is simply, what you do spontaneously in any given occasion.

The money that you easily give away during a raise. The salam and smile you greet to the old man on the bridge. The scrap of paper you stow in your pocket instead of letting it join the dust of the hallway.

The every classes you attend sincerely regardless of attendance check. The news report that you hand in right on time. And every single amanah for that matter.

The hand you hold out for a fallen young boy.

Beloved Prophet Muhammad presented true virtues for us to follow. And I will dishonor myself the moment I go back on him.

I have a lot more to work on.