Meaning of accomplishment

Today our patient was a 29 years old lady with neck swelling. She was cooperative, talkative and happy even, to tolerate us taking her history in broken Arabic and examining her neck.

I revised her history with our friends who took her sheet. To my amazement, she is married for 15 years and have 5 kids, the oldest is 12 and the youngest is 3.

I told this to Syaimaa and we laughed. She pointed her finger at me and jokingly said, "You have failed as a woman!"

"We have failed!"

What followed was a discussion of complications of teen pregnancies.

---

I turned back in my seat and stared at the profile of our patient.

I wondered what kind of children was raised by such a young mother. Did her children grew up like the typical gruff people you meet on the street? Will her children some day contribute to a better Egypt or will they be just another everyday men struggling to get by?

And such a life she had; raised 5 children in only 29 years of living. I wondered if she felt accomplished.

I wondered if I will feel as accomplished when I be at that age.

Serendipity

I had been unable to sleep properly these past weeks and thus was too inhumane in the morning to go to the dean's morning class, but I vowed to change this winter break. However, my sleep cycle worsened in spite of my efforts and his resumed class starting last Sunday saw me absent (as usual).

I contemplated this last Tuesday while staring far-off into the opposing wall. "Takde jodoh."

Nadie besides me looked at me perplexed. I turned to her and asked, "Jodoh tu ape?"

"I think it's serendipity. A happy encounter by accident."

"Oh."

---

Today was the first day in a very long time that I slept before midnight. I woke up happy. I even had breakfast before I set out with springy steps for the dean's class.

Only to arrive to an empty class and found out there was no class today. I looked up into the beautiful sky. "Takde jodoh."

On the way home outside the entrance of our campus, I saw the dean. Washed out light green shirt with yellow stripes and grey suit. The familiar uncombed hair, dialling his phone. I smiled and greeted him a good morning. He greeted me back awkwardly.

An encounter by accident. I was happy. Good morning indeed.

Times like this I feel I should switch major

Usually we will say a human is made up of his physical, his intellect and his soul. Miss one part of that and what? He's not a human?

I feel like throwing emotions in there as the fourth item. Or is it actually in one of the stated elements? There's a book I was reading back in Malaysia, The Decisive Moment or something. The author argued that a human's decision was based by his emotions. Emotions guide our daily judgement.

Al didn't have a body when he was tied to the armour. Does that make him a non-human? What was he? He still had his soul, his intellect and his emotions. Ed loved him and never saw him as anything else other than his brother.

What about those psychopaths who do harm without any feelings whatsoever. Those are the most dangerous of all crime; something done without feeling anything about it. Pushing people down the escalator and watching human dominoes fall with a sort of amusement. Withholding penicillin so data can be collected from a full blown tertiary syphilis.

Do you know how we come to know how we physiologically react to extreme of temperature?

Like when you pass a polygraph vanilla, neutral. You don't react to anything. Are you still human or is it right to label you as a monster?

Do you sympathies with them non-human? Or should we be scared? Lock them up? Stake out? What?

The worst of them are those who don't react, or give the wrong reaction?

---

On another note, I'd like to stay somewhere near the beach. Our home in Lundang is just 30 minutes away car-ride from Pantai Irama on a good day, our home really is the best.

I once considered to buy an apartment by the Pantai Balok beach but I believe a seaside property is not a good investment. We are heading towards rising sea level from the global warming. Read Nat Geo, people.

2013

January:
Paeds end round
Secretary for ABTHAL
WinG and war game
ABTHAL

February:
Kak Elle came
Akmal and Abang Effy cooked
Went for drinks

Balqis balik
Missed Abang Effy's graduation
Attended Cairo grad

STEP preparation

March:
Lost my ipod
STEP

April:

May:
Kak Nad married
Kids came to Cairo

Punched Arab
Kak Elle gatsby

June:
GMJ
Exam
Riot

July:
Gastric ulcer perhaps
End of exam
Home
Work conference
Birthday

August:
Run away to Irama Beach
Work conference
Refreshed soon to prove as short-lived

September:
Busan Namja invited me over for a quarter-life crisis

October:
Eid with family
Back to Cairo

Class soon to start

November:
Pipah BFG to UMS

December:
18 my house on fire.
24 referred by Sayyeda precint to go to HQ Cairo. The day before there was a bomb at Mansurah so I prayed nobody bomb the Cairo HQ that day and proceeded.
They refer me to Abbasiyah that I'm unfamiliar with. I probably need to skip more class and this is the most distressing part.

26 meet with ambassador. Asked for their help. Felt like successkid.jpg