Guitar Freak

CNBLUE has 4 members as all know. All four have their own Twitter account (all except Yonghwa-sama are on Instag) and their handle are as follow:

@JYHeffect
@MentalShin (@leejungshin91 on Instag)
@MR_KANGGUN
@cnbluegt

The first three handles at first glance reflect the owner individually except for the last one. It's Jonghyun's. The first time I saw it, it kept me puzzled what gt stands for. Why not jh? The closest gt I could think of was Son Goten (haha) but Minhyuk-kun is the otaku among them, not Jonghyun.

Until I came across FT Island's guitarist's account (Jonghoon) by accident. His Twitter handle was @FtGtJH. Ft was of course a nod to his band. JH was his initials and there's that Gt again.

And it clicked. Gt stood for guitar(ist).

Haru: That's like the default handle for the band's guitarist. So what? If CNBLUE changes guitarist, is Jonghyun going to give up the handle?

Me: No.. It means he's CNBLUE's guitarist for good.

You can see Yonghwa-sama's world domination aim from his handle (the effect part dude. With his talent and mindset, he really is going to go far.). You can see Jungshin's playfulness from his. You can see Minhyuk's nice-guy personality from his.

But Jonghyun's.. It was like a pledge to be CNBLUE's guitarist for the rest of his life. It's like Lee Jonghyun equals CNBLUE's guitarist, that being the band's guitarist was the definition of his existence (lol this is too much, probably just his social media account).

That guitar freak. And such admirable loyalty. He really love the guys like his family in his subtle macho way.

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Psychiatry paper is over. I should be analysing Surgery instead of this, or the political play in Kasr el Ainy.

Pitiful Ghoul

Disclaimer: Rated 18+ for profanity deliberately written long after the storm has passed thus on purposeful calmed and rational mind. This is me in crude and vulgar mode. Do not proceed.

I am blessed with this particular good friend. I know for fact she is because she befriends me. I'm a difficult person; part-time amiable, most of the time taciturn, analytical and understanding but not usually bothered to soothe people emotionally. In a social setting I am functional but cross slightly into intimacy and I turn into a glaring potato.

But she's a good friend, she tolerates me. I am not pressed to change because she accepts me and my stupidity. And as a sign of gratitude, I try to behave and do my best not to mistreat her.

And I get especially pissed off when a mutual friend misbehaves and mistreats her.

The both of us were in this project where I was the consultant and her assistant. The night before it was due, a mutual friend of her peer position had a meltdown that made him react in a way that defied the existence of our organized team.

My first respond was to laugh cruelly. "Did you tell him the F word?"

When you call yourself a partner and part of the team, you do not make significant changes to the project without prior consultation.

You ask for support when you're emotionally in need keeping in mind that everything you say and do will have an effect however small to the sail of the project.

You pay attention to suggestion and discussion and they become a basis for your decision. Do not suggest last minute changes towards your rejected suggestion when the project had long decided to go along with your relatively troublesome suggestion in the first place.

Good teamwork supports each other's strength and weaknesses. However it is not a scaffolding to be used as scapegoat for anyone's ego.

I know first-hand she needs time to adapt to sudden changes thus how hard she had been working to plan and rehearse everything this whole week. And suddenly, the night before.. something unnecessary and totally avoidable.. no respect whatsoever to organization..

I was livid and I told her analytically why the scum deserved pity but no mercy and how I would proceed.

She was scared. "That moment you wished he sleeps well, your face was really psychopathic."

Morning came and the afternoon the project sailed, I was also there as they talked over the problem. Our mutual friend said sorry and I nodded, accepting it. We make mistakes, we apologise, we rectify it and we don't do it again. This is the way of the esteemed dean of Kasr el Ainy.

But then the princess laughingly followed his apology with the stupidest lame excuse to cover up for the holy jerkiness. He reasoned that what he did was to test her. "If I did it to Hana, she'll rebel back. But you only rebelled a little."

"You didn't see me last night!" I commented in anger but quickly bit my lips in an effort to not make things harder for my good friend, whose face already tightened as she played her polite friend role.

Do we look retarded? If it was a joke, that was the most untimely insensitive joke of the year. I prayed that he will just shut up to save what little remaining of respect and pity I had for him, but no, in poor judgement he made a turn for the worse in a pitiful attempt at covering up for his meltdown.

If the night before I pitied him at his inability to manage his meltdown despite the selfish bastard pulling the effingest back-stabbing scum, that day I thought he was the epitome of uncool. Pretty hair and brilliant brain wasted on such a rotten heartless ghoul.

I told my good friend that I hate him for heinously mistreating my good friend. That I am going to stay away from any work and what more personal relation with said bastard. He is a mere last-resort colleague now.

"But he was a friend in need," she reasoned for me not to give up.

He was until the moment he used you as a scapegoat for his ego. I will not accept such attitude. "So you're still going to consider the bastard friend?"

She laughed sheepishly. "Yes. I hope he realise that I know he was covering up and he know I was being polite to save his face."

Of course. Despite that he didn't bother to save any of our faces, we should never regress to his scum level of doing the same to him. It will be cruelty to humanity if I corrupt her out of her kind way, so I decided to keep watch on them. "Good for you. Please confirm that he realised that. You really are a.."

I deliberated on my choice of word and decided to leave it hanging. I turned around towards my apartment.

"I'm a what?"

"You're the kindest creature God ever created." Truly she reaffirmed my belief that Allah is The Most Merciful, and He bless chosen servants with some degree of His merciful character.

She laughed. "But I don't want him to think I'm a gullible easy friend."

My good friend, I call him a bastard because he clearly treated you like what you just said. "I just hope you remember that this isn't the first time he did this to you, neither is this going to be the last."

Her face changed. She memorises things better than me, but obviously I remember and understand things better than her. I bid her adieu.

When the next time comes, I'll slash the guy's throat myself.

Makino

Plots are sometimes built around a lower-class girl for some reason finds herself in a crowd of higher-class people. There will be conflict and mixed reactions to her, whereby some will welcome her, some will be indifferent, and some will resent her because they couldn't feel.. what we call in Malay as "kebersamaan" with her. By the law of society she isn't supposed to be with them and should go back to her cliques.

The poor girl will either succumb to the not-so-subtle hints and go back to face the poverty with her people, or she could do whatever she wants so long she doesn't piss the rest of everyone there. She will keep a low-profile either way because she is, in the first place, trying to survive. One may see her as resilient, one may see her as shameless.

I learn this from literatures. I see this live in Surgery. And being from one of the original "higher-class people", I get the luxury of observing as the story unfolds seeing as I can justify each reactions. If I run her off, I'll be seen as unsympathetic because I'm not in her poor state. But to welcome her.. It is a fact that the "law of society" is there for a reason and I won't deny I see her as misplaced.

So when in doubt, ignore. Haha. Yeah, I am cold. But I do not resent. It is too strong of an emotion.

Truly, your own reasonings and decision define who you are. Now I really understand how we learned from the Prophet's history that "orang kaya yang tawadhu' adalah lebih baik dari orang miskin yang bersabar."

And as I am a doctor-in-training, our profession's saying of "to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always" does come in mind in this situation.