So I just keep to habitual, greeting on occasions. I really do count when was the last time I texted you.
I do realise you don't appreciate me as much as I do, but when I make moves to move on, you'll show out of nowhere. It's actually frustrating and I want to cry, but I miss you. And I guess you sporadically miss me too. I want you to always be well, I pray for you to be happy. I want you to get married so that I'm let go.
Last night I texted you happy eid. Because the last time I initiated it was the beginning of Ramadan and I told myself the next time I initiate will be on Raya.
And today I celebrated raya with my folks and the guys. We went to our staff nurse's house and almost as I was finishing my meal, she pointed at her younger son and said his name is yours.
I immediately looked up with an expecting face. Almost as if I was expecting to see you and I froze because it wasn't you.
Dija looked at me when it happened and | told her I felt sad and I didn't want to finish my food. But I did, out of politeness.
What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking. You're oncall today.
I went home and texted you a happy oncall. You replied me with an ultrasound liver with a distended gallbladder.
I miss you. But I need to move on because it's not healthy pining for someone who doesn't feel the same way.
Dear God, if he's not for me then why are You making it hard to move on?
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