Of grey hairs and chickens

1- I found my first ever grey hair! It’s not where I thought it would be… Almost late to work because of this.

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2- I saw a roaster crossing the road towards a chicken butcher stall and I thought of “why did the chicken cross the road” joke before snorting to myself.

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3- He had a procedure in OT and texted me “wanna follow?” And in my head was “aww I wanna hang out with you too” but I got real and a jumble of excuses:

1) There are two MOs in OT already

2) I do not want the awkwardness of meeting the team

3) I didn’t bring my OT attire. Would you like me to escort you to OT, kind sir?

I figured he didn’t want to get lost on his way to OT thus the invite.

He pulled out some items to bring and fished out his OT cap from his bag. Cue me surprised.

“How frequent do you masuk OT that you have your own OT cap?” Even surgeons don’t do this.. but then again we don’t cause we are too busy and like the convenience of disposable attires.

“IR pakai cap dekat suite.”

Mr. Fancy Cap whose belt matches his shoes. And came to work with a haircut today after my silent gesture yesterday. I noticed too many details for this to be healthy.

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4- After he was done, and I have seen the op note of attempting 8 times with 4 yields of renal biopsy, he returned and grinned awkwardly at me.

“I wasn’t successful.”

I looked surprised. What do you mean? “I saw the op note-“

“I mean about my appeal. I have to go to Lahad Datu.”

Oh dear. I’m sorry to hear that.

He asked me where I stayed in Lahad Datu and I told him, and he said he planned to stay at the kuarters so he didn’t need to bring his car.

Of course I suggested him against it. Someone jumped to their death between the Radio building and the ward block when I was there and the kuarters berhantu la, you nak stay sorang? Nanti you nangis.

I told him he will need his car for travelling out because he is bound to get bored there, also discussed with him the option of flying out from LD.

And then he said “Aku tak nak pergi sebenarnya.”

“Okay so that’s long- I mean mid term plan. Let’s focus on your short term plan first.”

Idk what he needs but there I was brainstorming with him what’s next.

I guess the easiest will be to lapor diri anyway. Our system sucks and he just needs to gazette and then he can go to private. He doesn’t mind the money at the expense of delaying his gazettement.

So he’s gonna call BPL (or whatever) to see if delaying by two weeks gets him into the trial new system gazetting. If it does, then he wouldn’t delay.

He’s gonna meet his HOS this Wednesday, who happens to be in town, to which I asked rhetorically “what difference will it make?”. He nodded, but gonna try so good luck, darling.

Plan A - delay by two weeks to help his dad

Plan B - report duty on time and ask for cuti to help his dad

Plan C - apply to HUSM. He said people suggested him against that, to which I said “working environment is more or less the same..”

He said he’ll just quit to which I, this hypocrite, replied “Make that your Plan Z. If you quit now you’re just an MO. You can’t gazette in private. Sikit lagi, Hannan.”

I was already contacting my people for car shipping quotation and rentals.

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5- It was 2pm and Cutest Boy In The Department was performing a procedure but Azim scrubbed in first, where I asked

“Tak pakai gown eh.” In an innocent tone.

“Ada orang pakai. Aku tak pakai sebab panas. Tapi ikut infection control kena pakai.”

“Ya sebab sterile procedure kan.”

He came and started scrubbing in and noticed the blue gown prepared for him. Azim helpfully mentioned how I have been telling them off regarding their sterility compliance.

“Some tempat kena pakai cap sekali.”

“Ya correct, sterile procedure kena pakai cap. You have your OT cap kan.”

He grinned and put them on.

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6- As he was cool puncturing the patient and his eyes fixed on the screen, I contemplated about taking a picture of him in his glory. But maybe not. Too many eyes watching.

Then he said, his eyes still on the screen. “Remember when we first met?”

What is this idiot doing?

“We first met when I was tagging in Medical Male ward, where you’re the just-off-tagged HO being our only senior.”

“Stab PD,” he grinned.

I grinned too. “Yup, that.”

I clearly remember few things from my HOship.

1) He has always have that puffy voluminous hair since I first met him. He is thinner now, otherwise he is physically the same. Oh and he has grey hair now.

2) He was the only non tagging HO when I started tagging in Medical, who just happened to offtag few days prior. He basically taught me everything I know.

3) He taught us stab PD one late afternoon. I had one occasion of referring a perforated bowel to Dr. Adham (now surgeon in HSIP) who wasn’t amused when every question he asked me was replied with “As I documented-“ in prefix.

4) I was at the counter and clearly remember the sight of him pushing his patient’s bed to the acute cubicle before I joined him.

5) I had a difficult IV line in a pakcik who told me off for calling him “ayah” but he was soooo nice to this charming boy who attended my call for help. I bitterly told him to jadi anak angkat that pakcik.

6) He is so jonah the king was once admitted when he was oncall.

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7- It was almost 5pm when we finished our work for the day. I looked at him.

“Are you going home wearing that?”

He grinned. He was still wearing his OT cap.

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8- Purposely killed the time near the carpark texting surgeon about a case. He walked in with a slightly older looking lady and two Surgical MOs.

When they saw me, I noted how he said I was with him all day. Then Mat Syuk greeted me saying now he can request CT scan at his whim.

“Anything for you,” I replied dryly before saying no I don’t take requests.

He grinned at me.. kinda awkwardly? It occurred to me that I have used that line on him, but I mean it when I said that. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that to Mat Syuk. “Boleh bah kalau kau” sounds better to use with Mat Syuk although they mean the same thing.

Then as we walked, it split into him and the lady and me two meters apart from Mat Syuk and his friend, Mat Syuk chatting as usual.

But my eyes were on the people in front of me. They were close, too close. Their fingers were brushing. She has to be family. He once told me he was waiting for his aunt to go home together, could this be her? Do families walk so close together their fingers brushed?

They totally ignored me though I walked two meters behind them, crossing the road, towards the same carpark.. I had enough. I hang around back for five seconds before I resumed walking to my car.