Here again. I'm here, staring at the empty space to write. Should I tell you about my day? Let me just tell you how it ended. It ended with me sad. Alone and sad. I was then wearing a mask because I was sleepy postcall but then I was grateful I had my mask on because I was sad.
There I was at 5.30pm. We finished rounds and everyone left to go home, but I'm OT tomorrow and there were six patients waiting to be taken consent from.
I was postcall. I was sleepy, tired, I only had a cup of coffee and two curry puffs all day, and I still have work to do.
I kept trying to calm myself but ugly thoughts ran through my head. It's my responsibility anyway because it's my OT tomorrow. I didn't get any help and I didn't ask for any help. I don't know how to ask for help.
The worst thing is that, when I'm oncall the OT people leave the consent taking to me. That's what made me feel so lonely and sad.
So I stood there silently with my mask on and tears gathering in my eyes.
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