I'm frustrated. I'm not good at asking for help, what more delegating. It's easier to do it myself. But then there's too much to do and I overlooked it and no one does it.
And it falls on me.
Miss was saying "you senior pun you tak boleh handle jugak haa" in front of the rest of the MOs and I know she's the type to say it as it is. Yes, it doesn't matter that I become more frustrated after she said that. Just because I don't feel like doing it doesn't mean I can just not do it. That's irresponsible. I'm not irresponsible. Things have got to be done anyway.
I can't say that I miss having Abe Khai, Abe Eswaren, Waina around because they're my seniors and they have left us. I'm the most senior service MO here now. I have to get this done.
The good thing about Miss saying that in front of everyone is that now everyone knows I can't handle it, so everyone has to chip in and carry the burden anyway.
As us MOs were discussing, she joined us and said "Atiqah I can see that you're frustrated."
So I just admitted it. "I think I'm frustrated because I haven't masuk sungai dah dua minggu."
She said I need referral to Psychiatry for always thinking I need to go into hutan, into sungai.
I hope I can master the art of not showing how I feel. Can I be Sai, always smiling? Fake smile but still smiling. But that's not real.
1 comment:
I took an EL the next day. My nose was stuffy but not that bad that I had to skip on work. I just don't have the morale to see them is all
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