slump

Mom had silent MI in March. She's on clopidogrel and vastarel now. Imagine I only know about this when I came home. My parents really don't tell me things. I guess me too. 

She's into orchid arranging these days.

I flipped open dad's planner yeaterday and dated 3.4.21 was his entry of Make Prayer For The Kids List. Mine was for my MMed entrance.

So last night I brought up a single sentence of I don't really feel like doing the exam. Both parents quickly cut off my tardiness of taking the exam. They said it's a waste of my skills and I should sit for the exam and be a surgeon and that it'd be okay.

Mom added that what else am I doing anyway nowadays? Don't have regret once you get older of not studying when you were younger. 

Yeah that's the thing. I feel like I should be doing something else rather than commit to a 4 years programme. But what? I could only picture rivers and forest. 

Also there's the whole slump of laziness and the tinge of fear of failure I don't know. Why should we fear failure? Dong-hoon said "It's nothing. It's not a big deal."